In the Shadow of His Wings

by Pamela Wells

  “Mother, what’s wrong?” he quickly checked to see if she was breathing and was greatly relieved to see that she was. However when she didn’t respond to his question, his concern deepened. Trembling with fear Gerhard jumped to his feet and yanked open one of the kitchen drawers, pulling out a clean dish cloth. He quickly soaked the cloth with cold water, rushing back to his mother’s side. He wiped Hilda’s face and neck, calling out to her and urging her to wake up. His heart was pounding with fear; he didn’t know what to do. Her skin had a grayish tinge to it and her lips were blue.

  Gerhard’s stomach churned as he took in his mother’s appearance.

  “This is bad, this is very bad” Gerhard moaned, trying desperately not to panic.

  “Please mom, wake up, I need you. Don’t leave me. Christine needs you too.

  Come on, wake up.” Gerhard continued to frantically wipe Hilda’s face with the cold cloth and he almost sobbed with relief when Hilda opened her eyes and moaned.

  “Don’t just sit there, help me up” she demanded, trying to sound strong but her command came out in a very weak and shaky voice.

  Gerhard gladly helped her to her feet and over to one of the kitchen table chairs.

  “Are you ok? How do you feel?” Gerhard asked with deep concern.

  “I’m fine, just a little dizzy. Get me a glass of water.” Hilda pushed Gerhard’s hands and the wet cloth away, clearly returning to her old self. He quickly got her a glass of water, relieved to hear his mother barking out orders as usual. Hilda drank the water and after resting for a moment turned her attention to the salad vegetables. Gerhard studied his mother’s face, relieved to see that her lips were no longer blue and some colour was returning to her cheeks. He checked on the main course which was already unpacked and then thought once again of Laura downstairs. He wondered how she was handling reading the newspaper article and he wanted to go check on her.

  “Mom, I’m going downstairs to see what type of salad dressing Christine would like tonight. I’ll be right back.” Gerhard looked cautiously at his mother; still not sure she was all right.

  “Whatever kind she wants I’ll have too. That way we can mix it all together.” Hilda responded. Gerhard was surprised at his mother’s generosity. Usually it was Hilda’s preference that came first, not Christine’s. He decided not to question it as he headed for the basement steps. He looked back once more at his mother, concerned that she was ok and happy to see she was chopping the vegetables, humming to herself. He quietly opened the basement door and went down the steps, smiling all the way. He felt very proud of himself at that moment and expected to see a more submissive and obedient Laura sitting in her room. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he could hear Laura crying and was surprised the sound of her sobs felt rather unnerving to him. His smile quickly left, he was a little stunned to feel guilt instead of pride. The closer he got to Laura’s room the louder her sobs were. Gerhard pushed her door open and was surprised to see her on the floor with her back to him. She was rocking back and forth sobbing. Gerhard didn’t feel so proud of himself anymore. Now he was surprised to feel deep shame instead. He also felt a sense of fear that he hadn’t felt before. What have I done? His mother was upstairs, clearly not well and here was Laura, not hurt physically, but obviously a beaten woman. Gerhard was confused, he was so sure he had handled the situation brilliantly, now he was terrified that he had made a horrible mess of things.

  Quietly Gerhard mumbled, “I don’t know what to do here” Laura turned at the sound of Gerhard’s voice. She saw the look of confusion and fear on his face but mistook it for anger instead.

  “Well, you win.” She said in a flat voice, with tears pouring down her cheeks.

  “I win?” Gerhard questioned, his confusion growing. He couldn’t see where he had won anything. He felt more like he was losing, losing everything. His mother, his sister, (who really wasn’t his sister at all), and most of all, his peace of mind.

  At that moment Laura was able to see that Gerhard wasn’t angry, but was afraid instead. She noticed that his hands were trembling and that his voice was shaky. Signs that she first took for anger, she could now see were of fear. Now it was her turn to feel confused. Why would Gerhard be afraid when he was the one in control? But he’s not in control here, is he Lord? You are! Laura understood then that God was at work in the situation, Gerhard was not at peace because God was not giving him any peace.

  Laura got up from the floor and sat on the edge of her bed, still clutching the text book of Lacey’s in one hand with the newspaper clipping in the other. She looked up at Gerhard and for the first time saw how truly pitiful the man looked. She couldn’t believe she had ever felt any fear of him. At that moment he didn’t look like anything to fear at all but only something to be pitied. She also saw how weak and frightened he was. Laura truly hated what Gerhard had done to her. She hated that he had kidnapped her and taken her away from her family. She hated what he had done to her daughter, IF

  indeed this article was about her daughter. With no name mentioned it could be anyone.

  Her fist tightened on the newspaper article as she thought of what he might have done to Lacey, but she no longer felt afraid of him.

  “No Gerhard, I was wrong. You don’t win. You haven’t won anything, have you? Did you think that just because you have hurt my daughter and therefore broken my resistance that you would have peace? You have no peace in your life do you? As a matter of a fact I would think that you probably have bad dreams often, don’t you?” Laura looked at Gerhard and felt that God was revealing truths to her at that moment that she hadn’t known before.

  Gerhard stood there listening to Laura talk and was amazed at the words she spoke. He wanted to run from the room but at the same time felt like he couldn’t move from the spot. How could she know about the dreams?

  “Gerhard there is only one way for you to feel peace. You won’t find it by working hard and making lots of money. You won’t find it by making your mother happy. You won’t find it by gaining control over me. There is only one way to find total peace and that’s through Jesus Christ. God is real Gerhard, and He wants to help you but you have to make the first move. You have to surrender to Him first and then He can give you peace.” Laura had fresh tears in her eyes now but these tears were not for her daughter and they were not for her. These were for Gerhard. She knew that he had listened to her talk to Hilda several times about Jesus. He had heard some good gospel truths, but would he receive it? That’s something he could only do for himself.

  Gerhard heard the words Laura said but still felt torn inside. He turned from her room and headed towards the stairs. As he walked away he was struck by what a calm woman Laura was. How could she be so calm and peaceful? It didn’t make sense to him. Could this God of hers really be giving her that kind of peace? She had more peace with that chain on than he did. It didn’t make sense to him. Gerhard went up the stairs and decided to ask his mother what she thought of all this ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ talk. He knew the two women had had many conversations about the subject, he wanted to get his mother’s honest opinion on it. He could certainly trust her to be blunt if nothing else. He slowly walked into the kitchen and looked over to the table to where he had left his mother sitting.

  “Mom!” Gerhard yelled as he ran over to the table. Hilda was still sitting in her chair but her head was on the table and she was slumped over the cutting board, the sharp knife clutched in her hand. Again he was relieved to see that she was still breathing but she had clearly fainted again. Once more her skin was gray and her lips blue, but this time they seemed even more so.

  “This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all!” Gerhard grabbed the wet cloth, freshened it with more cold water, attempted to revive his mother once again. He was relieved when she came around quickly but this time she wasn’t as lively as she was before. This time she appeared to be very weak and had no interest in continuing to work on the salad. She had difficulty breathing, struggling to take each
breath.

  “I think I should go lie down for awhile Gerhard. Take me to my old room up here. I don’t want to go down those stairs tonight, I’m too tired.” Hilda moaned as Gerhard helped her up.

  “That’s a good idea mom. Let’s get you into bed. Don’t worry about the salad; I’ll take care of it.” Gerhard was deeply concerned about his mother as helped her down the hall to her bedroom. Hilda staggered and Gerhard led her, feeling both dizzy and weak. He had never seen her so colourless or this frail. He helped her into bed not even bothering to change her clothes. Hilda was far too weak to do it herself and Gerhard had no intentions of undressing his mother. She was wearing a very simple housedress that would be comfortable enough to sleep in anyway. Gerhard put a fresh glass of water at her bedside and was about to ask her if there was anything else he could get her when she started to snore, he quietly left the room.

  Gerhard went back to the kitchen, staring at the forgotten supper on the counter and the salad on the table without really seeing it. He no longer had an appetite and didn’t care at all about the food. His mind was racing with the nights events and he didn’t know what to do. He pulled the garbage can out from under the sink and dumped the entire meal into it. Not even bothering to package up the salad ingredients he pushed all of that into the garbage as well. He gathered up the cutting board and knife and dropped them into the sink. He worked robotically, without thought of what he was doing or the food he was wasting. He didn’t think that maybe Laura might be hungry.

  Scenes from his many bad dreams jumped into his thoughts. Visions of the police at his door, there to arrest him and send him away to prison haunted him. Thoughts of his mother dying and leaving him alone, of what he would have to do with Laura if that were to happen. Even if that didn’t happen for a long time, what was he to do with this woman downstairs? Clearly he had made a terrible mess of things. His whole life was a mess. Gerhard couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen another minute. He didn’t want to go downstairs and talk to Laura so he decided to go for a walk outside. It wasn’t until he opened his front door and stepped out that he realized how the weather had turned. It was pouring rain and thunder was rumbling. Gerhard didn’t care though. The weather just seemed to match his mood and he went for a walk anyway. He walked down his driveway and turned right to go down the sidewalk. He did not even notice the man sitting in the parked car right across the street, watching him exit his house.

  Gerhard was not the only one having a rough night. There was another man in Niagara Falls that was having trouble finding a sense of peace. Detective Don Chisholm was also struggling. Over the last several months Don had worked hard to solve the Laura Reid case. He had been frustrated to find a brick wall every which way he had turned. The woman seemed to have vanished into thin air. Something he knew wasn’t possible. In his line of work, this was rare. There was almost always some sort of clue to follow, somewhere, somehow. In this case he could find nothing and to Don that just was not acceptable. At first he was sure it had to be the husband, but through careful investigation and observation he was able to rule that out. He investigated Laura as well; to be sure she wasn’t seeing another man on the side and had perhaps carefully staged an abduction in order to run off. The more he investigated this family, the more he knew that couldn’t be the case. Someone had to have kidnapped her but he could not figure out who or why. He hated loose ends and refused to close the file on this case and give up.

  Many times he had pulled out Laura’s file and read over every scrap of information in it, hoping to find that one piece of evidence that he might have overlooked. Perhaps one thing that was said, that was ignored that shouldn’t have been. There was no such thing as the perfect crime, somehow, there had to be a clue. Somewhere there was something that would lead to the woman’s whereabouts. Don had come to know the Reid family well and had grown to care about the family. He desperately wanted to bring their mother home. He imagined what their faces would look like if he was able to bring them good news of Laura, but then again, after all this time he seriously doubted she was still alive. He knew that if he could even find out where her body was, and what happened to her, then at least it would give them closure. If he could do that, then maybe he would feel a sense of peace.

  One thing that stood out in his mind each time he read through the file was the name of Gerhard Bloone. Don had stressed to Jim that Gerhard was not a suspect and when he had said that, he had believed it, but now he wasn’t so certain. The man had been so helpful the day he allowed the police to search his home and business. He’d been almost too helpful and eager. Don now wondered if it had been Gerhard who had come into the book store and attempted to purchase the book that had gotten Jim so excited back in December. Maybe he had been too quick to dismiss the possibility and he now wished he had looked into it more thoroughly. At the time he had been so certain that Gerhard had nothing to do with Laura’s abduction, however lately the thought of the man as a suspect kept nagging at his mind. Don had felt restless that evening, he had gone for a drive, mindless of the pending storm; he had driven around town for awhile, going past the Falls Mist Hotel. He then found himself driving down the Niagara Parkway and ending up in front of the Bloone house. He had pulled up across the street from the house and just sat there for awhile thinking, when the storm had hit. He was surprised when he saw Gerhard exit the house, without a jacket and begin to walk down the street. As lightening struck in the night sky Don was able to see the look of distress on Gerhard’s face. Gerhard didn’t even notice Don sitting in his car. Don started up the car, drove up along side Gerhard and lowered his window,

  “Mr. Bloone, it’s a rather wet night to be out for a walk, is something wrong?” Don called out politely, carefully studying Gerhard’s face for his reaction.

  Gerhard turned towards the detective, a look of surprise on his face. He was not expecting to see anyone else out on such a night, definitely not expecting to see the police detective!

  “No not really, I uh, I just had a fight with my mother and had to get out for a bit, that’s all. I didn’t think about the weather. You’re right, it’s a nasty night. I should get back inside. Goodnight.” With that Gerhard turned back towards his house and hurried up the driveway.

  “Well goodnight then!” Don shouted, but his voice was drowned out by a clap of thunder. He watched Gerhard return to the house and again he wondered if this man were really innocent. He was beginning to have strong feelings to the contrary. It was obvious that Gerhard had recognized him and was definitely disturbed at the sight of the police detective.

  Gerhard rushed back into the house, trembling with fear. The police detective!

  What is he doing here, outside my house?! It had been a few months since he had last seen detective Chisholm but he was certain that the man in the car outside his house was him. It was definitely not one of his neighbors and the man had known his name!

  Gerhard went to his bedroom and without turning on the lights looked through the windows. He couldn’t see anything through the rain on the window so he waited for lightening. When the lightening flashed he saw that the detective’s car was gone and he fell onto his bed in relief. Yet his mind raced, wondering what the man was doing there in the first place. He had been so careful and he was sure the police didn’t suspect him.

  He had made every effort to assist the police in their search for Laura. They had even searched the house and found nothing. So why was he here now? It didn’t make sense.

  Gerhard knew this was going to be a long restless night.

  Chapter 22

  The next day Laura paced in her basement living room, continually looking up the steps, waiting for Hilda to come down. Where can she be? She always comes downstairs at this time. Laura was getting hungry. It was past lunch time. Hilda had not brought down their lunch and now it was time for the woman’s soap opera’s and she still hadn’t come down. Gerhard had left her some breakfast on a TV tray earlier but hadn’t waited for her to come out of her
room. So she didn’t get a chance to talk to him about last night. She didn’t care about missing last night’s dinner but she wondered what went on upstairs between him and Hilda, why neither of them came back down to eat with her.

  She wondered if that was supposed to be part of her punishment as well. She was so upset about Lacey the night before that she probably wouldn’t have eaten anything even if they had brought her food. She wondered what was going on with Hilda and Gerhard.

  Especially since today’s routine was clearly not going as it normally did. Laura continued to pace and as she did she prayed, asking God to help the young woman in the newspaper article, whether it was her daughter or not. She prayed that God would strengthen her and heal her. She also prayed for Jim, who she knew could possibly be out of his mind with worry for his daughter. She prayed for Josh as well. How she longed to be there with them. Her heart ached for her family. She thought of her parents and wondered how they were handling everything. They would be finding the whole mess very difficult, especially living so far away where they couldn’t physically be with the family everyday. Laura’s thoughts went to her church family as well. They had so many special and wonderful friends there. She missed them all so much. Her eyes filled up with tears as she pictured their faces. She knew that they would all be supportive and caring towards Jim and Josh. She thanked God that they were part of such a wonderful church. Laura couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a person to go through a major crisis without the support of a church family. They were there for her for everything!