Shyra _ K1

by Aline Riva

  "I can never take it out?"

  Jinx shifted closer to her, slipped his hand higher, tracing fingertips over her newly exposed, smooth flesh, then he ran his hand up to her hip and let it rest there.

  "It's impossible to remove," he replied, "It's a part of you now. Unless you wanted it cut out – the tissue and the ring – just a quick snip with the heated cutters. I know how to use them, if you ever decide you never want to cum again, just say the word, I'll go and fetch them from the ship. I don't mind doing it, if intense climax is too much for you. I just want you to be happy."

  He smiled sweetly.

  She looked back at him, still processing the fact that he had just kindly offered to literally cut off her ability to orgasm – permanently – if she wanted him to.

  "You're out of your fucking mind..."

  "But I don't mind your decision," he said softly as he stroked her hair, oblivious to her remark, "I did this to give you pleasure but if it's too much to bear, I'll still find you just as lovely without it..." his eyes sparkled as they darkened, " I'd love a chance to use the cutters, I wanted to use them to split your tongue but you didn't want me to do that. I won't do anything to you without your agreement, though. I hope that sets your mind at rest."

  "Sets my mind at rest?" she exclaimed, "I never asked for any of this, I don't want any of this!"

  "I just want to make you happy," Jinx replied, his emotions pushing back the madness as he found a moment of clarity, "I can't always control my actions. I feel like I'm being controlled by something else, but I can't get away from it, so I have to go along with it... This is how I am now. But I do want to make you happy, please tell me I can do that."

  A strange look of desperation was in his eyes, it was an odd moment that made her wonder exactly what was wrong with him – she had never encountered a madness like this before, never known this level of insanity was possible...But as she looked into his eyes, she studied him thoughtfully. It was almost as if there was a battle going on deep in his mind between the sane and the insane...

  She pushed aside the scary talk of his fondness for the heated cutting device and quickly changed the subject as she ran her gaze over his chest, noticing scars she saw for the first time now his shirt was off.

  "What happened to you?" she asked.

  Her touch was gentle and soft as she traced her fingertips over the scarring. It was enough to persuade him to talk about something he had never talked about, not since the crash, as once again that urge to feel came rushing back at him...

  "I copied Mack's scars. He has battle scars, you see. A few years back he was a pilot I was his co pilot, but we crashed the our ship. We ended up trapped on a deserted planet for months. Mack, my best friend, he was barely conscious most of the time. So I took on his courage. I carved his scars into me, his pain became mine, do you see?"

  As he lay there explaining, he had wrapped his arms around her and she suddenly realised she had moved closer to him, as he was opening up to her it seemed crazy, but suddenly she could lay aside the lunacy and the savagery and underneath it, she was seeing the real Rik Jinx – the man he must have been before he lost his mind...

  "Tell me what happened next," she said to him.

  Jinx blinked away tears.

  "I tried to save everyone but it was impossible! Some of them were dying around me and Mack couldn't help because he was wounded, I didn't know if he would live or die. The others looked to me to lead them. So I had to kill the dying and cook them for food and then we all started getting closer, bonding tight, by the time rescue came we couldn't tell them what we had done. So we lied. Cora's father was a wealthy, powerful man. He thanked me for saving her by giving the the ship and a private planet. Then my Cora died in an accident...I loved her..." he gave a sob. His eyes were filled with tears and he trembled as he held her tighter, "This is the only life that makes sense now, for all of us," he rested his head on her shoulder, "I haven't spoken of this before...there was no need, we all went though it together after the crash, we bonded, we became what we are. It's sort of like family now."

  "What was Cora like?" she asked him.

  He raised his head and blinked away tears, briefly smiling at her memory.

  "She was beautiful like you, kind, she could reach me, the real me, the man I am deep down inside - she could see past the void."

  "What void?"

  "The blackness in my mind and heart. Sometimes I remember who I used to be, but then it all clouds over again. She could reach through that and so can you...Promise me you can always help me like she did!".

  "What did she do?"

  "She stopped me being lost in the dark. I don't want to forget who Ritchie Jinx is... I just want to feel, I want to be me again, I don't want to be swallowed up. Sometimes I can't fight it...But you can help me, you mean something to me, just like Cora did..."

  Then the pain became to much as memories hit him and he buried his face against her shoulder and gave a sob as he shifted even closer and held her tighter, all thoughts of sex gone from his mind now as he held on, comforted by her embrace and needing no more than closeness to feel at peace.

  "I love you," he said into her hair.

  Sin gave no reply, holding him close as she silently reeled from the shock of what had just hit her:

  She had just seen past the monster, past the depraved cannibal who had led his people into this sickening way of life. There was a reason for it. She had come to understand that. She had also come to realise that after seeing him like this, laying his soul bare to her, something soft had warmed in her heart. It was more than pity, it was something that pulled her closer to him...

  "I don't say this in front of the others," Jinx added quietly, "But if I could have that day again I never would have got on that flight. We all say we love this life but there's no going back now, not for any of us, it's too late! Sometimes I just wish I could forget everything, just be Rik Jinx, flier again."

  She held him tightly, confused by her emotions but trusting her feelings as she stroked his hair soothingly. She thought about the authorities back on earth and how they would react if they found out:

  It was clear none of these people had chosen to end up this way, they had gone crazy and stayed crazy, but earth security would not see it that way. Jinx and his people would either be shot on sight or rounded up and taken off to a secure facility where they would be experimented on, that was what they did to insane criminals these days...

  The thought of Jinx suffering such a terrible end made her heart ache and she didn't want to even think for a moment why that was happening – but here they were, drawn together and she was suddenly seeing him in a new light, as a victim instead of an evil monster...

  As she held him, she silently turned over an idea that almost made her question her own sanity:

  She recalled Jody had told her about the mind wiping drugs. If she got hold of that stuff and shot Jinx full of it, would he forget the past and everything that had driven him crazy? It seemed like a mad idea, but the urge to wipe the lunacy from him was burning brightly as she embraced him as he wept for a past that had turned his life into a twisted nightmare, and she desperately wanted to help him escape from it forever.

  Sin did not know why she felt this way, knowing only that the need to carry out this plan was as strong as her urge to escape...maybe she wanted an escape for both of them, perhaps that made sense – for now it made more sense to her than to accept the other fact - that she was developing some kind of feeling for Jinx...

  Chapter 7

  As she lay there and he slept with his head on her shoulder and his tears were still wet against her skin, Sin was thankful of the silence broken only by the sound of his breathing – slow and steady, reassuring her that Jinx was still sleeping deeply, giving her time to breathe easily as she tried to analyse why she felt something other than revulsion for the man who had taken her captive. Jody had already summed it up, understanding much more from one sentence Jinx had revealed
that was very telling:

  They ate human flesh. These people were cannibals. But they never would have become what they were if not for the crash that left them stranded to go insane... She wasn't trying to make excuses for him and the others, the thought of what they were sickened her. But she had seen something in his eyes as Jinx had wept that had showed her a glimpse of human despair and suffering the likes of which she had never known existed until now – absolute pain and misery that cut deep into the soul...

  As Jinx woke and raised his head from her shoulder, she met his gaze as a question came to mind and she guessed she had better ask it while he was drowsy from sleep, before his guard went back up.

  "Where do you get the bodies from? Do you lure people here all the time? Do you pay people like Wolf to sabotage ships and have them crash here?"

  He blinked away sleep, his wits sharp again as he thought about her question.

  "No, we buy bodies... I go off world, some of the colony planets will deal anything."

  "So why did you pay Wolf to make the crash happen?"

  "I just did it."

  He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling as he gave a sigh.

  "Leave it now."

  She turned on her side and placed her hand on the scarring etched into his chest.

  "Please tell me, why go to such lengths?"

  He turned his head and looked at her and it seemed for a moment there was a conflict of some kind going on inside his head.

  "Leave it," he said firmly.

  "Why did you have us crash land?" she demanded, "Because you wanted us to feel the fear you went through after your ship crashed? Is that it, you wanted us to go through the same thing? Why?"

  As he looked at the woman whose presence saved him from the pain of Cora's loss, it was only because being beside her made him feel so good, made him feel so much after so long of feeling nothing, that he did not grab her by the throat and choke off her questions.

  "I need to feel again! I wanted your people to feel what we we went through, take on our ways and join us! Along the way I wanted to make some fresh kills too. We all did. There's this line in life, Sin – once it's crossed, nothing is ever the same again! You'll understand that in time. You just need to learn."

  "I saw Harvey being taken to the ship. Is everyone else dead?"

  "Only those who challenged me. Janey's still alive too."

  So Lola and Tyler were dead. She took that information calmly as she held back her tears.

  "Did you kill the others?"

  "Yes," he replied, "If not me, Mack would have done it. If you adapt and survive you'll get through this, it's a simple case of seeing life differently."

  "But you don't have to do that any more, Jinx. Don't you see that?"

  Confusion burned bright in his eyes as he wished she would stop talking. Her words were reaching that place at the back of his mind where recollections of the life before the crash of Mack's ship had become a blur, all of the other life and the other past in the normal world crammed into a tiny space of clutter at the back of his thoughts in a corner he never dared venture.

  "You don't have to fight to survive any more – none of you do."

  "We could never go back, the old life is gone," Jinx replied.

  He reached for her, silencing her with a deep and passionate kiss as he held her firmly, he took her roughly in a single, hard thrust into her body that claimed her as his own, then with every movement her thoughts were swept away by the heat that seared through the ring set into her flesh that throbbed as their bodies met.

  He slowed down for a moment, sensing she could not hold back much longer as the alien metal did its work and made her thighs shake and her face flush more and more with each movement, then he placed his hand on her face, gripping it hard as he held her in a deep gaze that seemed to cut right through her.

  "Just... look at me," he said breathlessly, "Keep looking in my eyes...don't... look away..."

  As he spoke his thrusts were short and bruising, rapid and pounding hard against the ring of metal that sent once tender flesh into an overdrive of pulsing, overwhelming demand for climax that took her to heights she had never been, then beyond it, to something vast and unbearable as he kept her in that bruising grip, his eyes locked on to hers as he he breathlessly slammed into her, his own eyes glazing over as she gave a gasp and then screamed as pleasure overdosed her mind and blacked out her sight and ripped all awareness from her body as the pleasure took over in excess, driving her into a falling pit of nothingness as stars pricked at her vision and she heard Jinx order her to keep looking at him.

  As her sight came back and she felt him bury deep inside her as he came hard with a sharp cry, he was bathed in sweat and shaking, then breathing hard as he paused to glance down at their joined bodies, then he separated from her and turned on his side.

  "That was amazing..." he panted, and then he grabbed a mirror from the bedside table and held it up in front of her face.

  At first, she struggled to understand what she was seeing. Then she stared into the glass, realising she was seeing her own face after the effect of the alien metal reacting so harshly in her body: Her pupils were so wide her eyes looked almost entirely black, the dilation was shrinking back now, slowly as more stars danced in her vision. Her skin was flushed bright red, bathed in sweat and her lips were crimson.

  As he put the mirror back, his eyes sparkled with excitement.

  "This is why zestion is banned for use in sexual piercings," he told her, "It's extreme. The alien metal can sprout fibres that go through the flesh and into the bloodstream. It can cause blindness apparently...heart attacks too. But that's only in a minority, they didn't let it stay on the open market for long before it was banned... Then there's the DNA tie that caused problems... people buying them for their partners then breaking up, and the one with the zestion can't ever climax again without the other person... caused a lot of trouble, as you can imagine."

  The throbbing was turning back to the heavy weighted sensation between her legs as feeling crept back into her body. Now there was a vague sense of arousal all over again, she knew she had movement back but dreaded the moment she stood up and felt the weight of that thing pulling downwards when she walked.

  "Why did you think I would like this?" she said in a hushed voice.

  His expression changed to one of concern.

  "I just assumed it would be the ultimate pleasure..." he looked down at her body, where she was still swollen and damp and the piercing shone visible as it caught on the light.

  "If it's a problem, I'll take you over to the ship and sort this out. It won't hurt, some pain relief and some meds to speed healing and a little snip down there and you'll never have to worry about it again...Is that what you want, my dear?"

  She wanted to feel horrified by his suggestion, but seeing such compassion in his eyes she knew he was too crazy to comprehend what he had done to her, or what he was suggesting to do about it...

  "No," she said quickly, "I get that you thought it was a gift I would enjoy. I also know you're out of your mind, but I want to try and live with both."

  As she said those words she saw a flash of anger in his eyes and then it was gone, it seemed calling him mad was a fast track to his aggression, even though he seemed to know that he was crazy anyway. Jinx seemed to have his own understanding and definition of what he had become, and he didn't see it for the horrific reality that it was...

  "You ask a lot of questions, you say a lot of things that might make me angry, I'm just warning you," Jinx told her, "I don't want to hurt you. Why do you ask so much?"

  "Why are you so desperate to feel again? When did you stop feeling, after the crash, after Mack was injured and the responsibility fell on you, or was it later when you were all starving and the injured were dying and you had to make a choice?"

  All warmth left his gaze.

  "So what if I had to make choices? I could feel again when I loved Cora – it ripped me apart when sh
e died! I just want to feel the better things again, why can't you understand that and leave it alone?"

  "Because I want to understand all of it," she replied, "And I really do want to help you. I don't think you're a bad man no matter what you've done – I think you were all in extraordinary, terrible circumstances and the survival mode kicked in and it did so in such an extreme that none of you felt you could ever come back from it. But when Cora died something opened back up inside you, some light came in. It made you look at yourself and what you've become. That's why you need to feel again. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make a person look at their life and realise what's wrong."

  Jinx was getting the oddest feeling as he looked at Sin, as if this woman had some kind of mystical power over his troubled mind. He wasn't sure if he liked it, or if she needed to be killed for it...

  "What did you do back on earth, Sin? What's your line of work?"

  She hesitated. His intense gaze was cutting through her. She knew he would not let this go until she told him the truth.

  "I'm a psychologist," she replied.

  For a moment he glared at her, the thought running through his mind that she was trying to go deeper into his thoughts than he cared to share with anyone, but then as he ran his gaze down her body and saw she was unable to hide the fact that she was still aroused, he started to smile.

  "Well don't bother trying to work me out, you never will..." he traced a fingertip down her face, "But I've worked you out, Sin. I think you have a demanding job and lots of pressure and all your life you've wished that someone would take the control away from you. I think your deepest desire is to be owned, and what better way than to have your sexual urges controlled by a man like me? That's why you get so turned on even when I'm not touching you, it's also the reason why you haven't tried to run from me, or put up a fight, or shown anger or fear at what I've done to you. That's why you don't panic... I've offered twice to snip off that ring and what it's attached to... and you just looked at me with your eyes getting darker, getting quietly aroused. You'd love me to control you in that way. Especially having the power to own or prevent your arousal. This is what you want, isn't it? It terrifies you but you want it, deep down."