Beyond Ruin (Book Four of the Bidden Series)

by Cierlak, Crystal

  "This contract says we're to have an office in each of your properties," Joe said, his eyes coming up from the paper he held in his hand.

  "And accommodations in our hotels." James smiled briefly at Joe before turning his attention to Natalie. "We like to make sure our people are well taken care of."

  Tension threatened to crumple Natalie from the inside out. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and stood from the table. "Excuse me for a minute. I'll be right back." She needed to get out of there. She took the stairs towards the bedrooms two at a time and sprinted into her bathroom, closing the door behind her as quickly and quietly as she could.

  Everything she ever wanted was inches away from being hers. She paced across the expansive space of her bathroom, hands wringing fingers. There was no doubt in her mind working for Fitson would rocket launch Gallo Harlow into the stratosphere. It would legitimize them as a new media agency. They'd have to expand almost immediately. They would need more than just a few new interns to help carry the additional load. Audra and James were both adamant that they wanted her to lead the account. She'd have to reassign her work somewhere else; to Joe or possibly a new account manager.

  Her anxiety level was climbing; being home again, the Fitson account. James. If she'd known he was going to show up she could have prepared both her heart and her mind. And yet he was there, in her office, her home, and it was like nothing and everything had changed between them. She needed composure, which would only come from releasing the pent-up energy within her.

  Natalie leaned against the closed bathroom door and took in a deep breath, held her hand to her stomach and let the breath out slowly. After a second breath she slid her hand down to the hem of her dress and pulled it up as her fingers sought the hem of her panties between her legs. Two fingers slipped between the delicate softness of her opening and moved with a gentleness that quickened with her growing urgency. Leg and pelvic muscles tightened and relaxed alternately as she pleasured herself, responding to her touch.

  Her mind cycled through tactile memories of Audra's breasts, her lips on her breasts; of Joe's generous girth thrusting inside her as warm bathwater lapped over her naked body; of James's eyes as he kissed her, whispering 'I love you' against her lips as he moved within her. Natalie arched her back and the sensation between her legs intensified.

  'Tell me again,' he said through heavy panting when he broke away from their kiss.

  'I love you.' The words came freely and unbidden. 'I've never loved anyone like I love you James Fitzgerald.' She kissed his lips once then whispered against them, 'I love you.' She kissed his cheek in a line to his ear, whispering I love you between each one. She kissed and suckled at his earlobe, encouraged by the moans that drifted from his mouth into the space around them. 'Let me show you how much I love you.'

  She used one foot to knock off the shoe from the other while she hurriedly peeled away the hoodie, revealing the black cotton knit gown beneath. James brushed the fabric up her thighs and chest before she stripped it too from her body. He indulged in her bare breasts, taking each one into his mouth as he caressed his fingers across her back and hips.

  'I love you, too,' he spoke under his breath between delicate mounds of flesh. She crouched her back into his arms until her face was level with his. He reached up and brushed a wavy strand of copper colored hair from her forehead and gently placed it behind her ear. 'You are so goddamn beautiful, Natalie Harlow.'

  Her legs shuddered as she tightened in euphoric release, anxiety washing away from her body with each breath she panted. She forced her lungs to inhale deeply and relaxed against the door as she exhaled. Already she felt lighter and more relaxed. When she was composed enough to walk she quickly freshened up at the sink and slipped out of the door. She only made it a few steps before she ran head-first into a six-foot wall of suit.

  "Sorry," she mumbled as her hands grabbed out for something to steady herself, only to feel his hands steady her first.

  "You okay?" James asked, his voice so close she could feel the whisper of his breath against her cheeks.

  "Yes, I'm fine." Her instincts warred with each other, half to reach out and touch him, and the other half to remove herself from his embrace. "Why are you up here?" she asked as gently as she could. She could only bring her eyes up as far as his ears, not quite daring to look in his eyes.

  "I was hoping to talk to you. In private."

  Before she could even think of a response she heard the obvious sounds of heavy footsteps ascending the stairs. Thinking quickly she grabbed the lapels of James' suit and pulled him into her bedroom and closed the door behind him.

  "Natalie?" Joe called out from the hallway. "You okay?"

  "I'm fine!" she called out over James' shoulder. "I'll be out in a minute."

  "Okay. I'm heading up to the roof to find Frankie and Quinn."

  "Have fun!" She remained quiet and still, listening to the sounds of Joe’s footsteps retreating back down the stairs. It took less than a moment for her senses to become attuned to the intoxicating scent of James' cologne activated by the radiating warmth of his body. His hands were on her arms, thumbs gently caressing through the fabric of her dress. She closed her eyes and inhaled him deeply, her mind flooding with every memory she had of him in her arms, or her in his.

  "How have you been?"

  She forced her eyes to open, to look straight ahead at the crisp knot of his tie. There was a tremendous comfort being in his arms, and she had to keep her wits about her to avoid giving in to familiarity.

  "Fine." She swallowed, and then opened her mouth to breathe. "Busy."

  One hand left her arm and went to her hair, fingering the cut edges just above her shoulder.

  "This is new."

  "Lots of things are new," she whispered. And so much feels the same. She plucked up the courage to bring her eyes up to meet his, and it was like being transported back in time. Those gorgeous blue-green eyes and thick eyelashes, a curl of honey colored hair falling loose across his forehead. It would be so easy...

  'James?' she asked through the heavy fog of sleep that had claimed her only a moment prior. 'Is everything okay?'

  'It's fine, baby. Go back to sleep.'

  Natalie lifted her head just in time to see him setting his phone screen-side-down on the nightstand. The skin between his eyes atop his nose was pinched, and his lips were in a tight line. He looked distraught. Natalie glanced up at the curtain-drawn windows and found light struggling to stream through, then reached for her phone to find the time. Mid morning. She'd been asleep more than twelve hours.

  'Come on, go back to sleep. You need it,' he said as he drew the covers up closer to her chin.

  'Speak for yourself, Fitzgerald. You look like shit.' It was meant to be a joke but neither one of them could laugh. 'What's wrong?'

  He shook his head. 'Later. You should be resting.'

  Something inside her told her that later would be just the same as now. 'Who was it?' She motioned with her chin in the direction of his phone.

  James' face scrunched in on itself, like his entire face was trying to keep his mouth from talking. He could barely look at her, but when he finally did glance up and look her in the eye, there was very little doubt in her mind what he had to say was good.

  'It was Celine.'

  Celine. The amniocentesis. If her heart weren't already broken she might have had a chance of mentally and emotionally surviving the news that she knew Celine had just delivered to him.

  'Oh.' She sat up in her bed and kicked the covers off, ignoring the splintering sensation that crackled throughout her body. 'Well, congratulations, James. Looks like you get to have a baby after all.' She was up and halfway to the bathroom before he was calling after her, her name an excruciating apology upon his lips as he rushed after her. She made it before him and closed the bathroom door just in time for her spirit to succumb to the same fate as her heart.

  She lowered herself to sit atop the closed lid of the toilet and waited fo
r the tears to come.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  And waited until she realized that the tears weren't there. Instead a numbing sensation descended upon her, pouring over her from head to toe like darkness rising after the setting sun.

  She had finally reached her breaking point.

  With a blink Natalie was transported back into the present, months away from the memory of one of the worst days of her life; a memory she had learned to ignore. James looked at her as though no time had passed. As though he were still in love with her.

  She wondered if he was.

  "I heard you finally got divorced," she said.

  James' eyes settled on her lips for a brief moment before meeting her gaze again. The hand that had swept across the shortened length of her hair was now resting at the junction between her neck and shoulder. "I did."

  Natalie nodded and bit her lip to keep herself from saying, 'Good'. Instead she said, "Life is good? Things going well?"

  "Almost. I've got a plan." His eyes narrowed as his gaze intensified. "Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?"

  "Is that part of your plan?" she asked.

  "Natalie you are the plan."

  Somehow she'd moved close enough into his embrace to feel the rhythm of his chest rising and falling as he breathed. Something stirred inside her. Perhaps it was the scent of him, the mass of his body pressed against hers, or more than likely the leftover high from the orgasm she'd given herself only moments prior. Her body's desire for him could never be matched with her own touch or the touch of another.

  Two loud knocks resonated from the door just feet away before the door itself opened.

  "Natalie, are you-" Audra stopped dead in her tracks, eyes widening at the sight of them. Natalie instinctively moved to step out of James

  embrace, but he kept one hand on her waist.

  "We'll be out in just a moment, Audra," he told her curtly.

  Natalie's heartbeat was frantic in her chest as Audra's gaze moved from James to her. Whatever reaction Audra was having she kept it internal, never once allowing her face to react without her controlled permission.

  "Sure," Audra replied, though it was directed to Natalie. Natalie opened her mouth to speak but closed it just as Audra turned, left, and closed the door behind her.

  James swept a strand of hair from Natalie's forehead and let his thumb linger for a moment at her temple.

  "Lunch tomorrow?" he asked again. "I'd love to catch up."

  Her heart autonomously skipped a beat at the word 'love'.

  "Let me just check..." She fished out her phone from within her bra - ignoring the raised eyebrow and cheeky grin from James - and accessed her calendar. "Sure, I can meet you for lunch."

  "Are you seriously scheduling me in right now?" he asked between laughs.

  "I am very busy!" she responded light-heartedly. "Where and what time?" Before she could input anything James took the phone from her and held it far away from her grasp. "What!"

  "I'll pick you up at ten-thirty," he said, still amused. She should have been annoyed at the fact that he didn't seem to take her very seriously - she really was very busy - but decided to go with good humor instead.

  "That sounds like a very early lunch."

  "Just trust me," he said with a smile. "You still trust me, don’t you?"

  Something about the question made everything serious in that moment, and judging by the look on his face Natalie imagined he had the same sense. Gone was the humor; in its place a sense of gravity about the broken nature of their relationship. Could it ever be fixed?

  James mumbled something about heading downstairs and gave Natalie back her phone, then they both silently descended to the living room where Audra, Quinn, Joe and Frankie were all sitting. Natalie felt her cheeks flush as they all turned to look at her with James. She couldn’t stand to be the subject of scrutinized interest from no less than her best friend, the man she'd had sex with in a bathtub the previous night, and the woman she'd nearly had sex with on an airplane mere hours before that.

  "Thank you for coming by," she said after clearing her throat. “We will go over the contract this weekend and meet again on Monday. Just email us a time."

  Thank god for Frankie, who made the business of departing much less awkward than it might have otherwise been. When they were gone and the front door was locked behind them, Natalie turned to Quinn and Joe and managed a smile.

  "So, we've got a multi-million dollar retainer. Who's up for sushi and getting very drunk?"

  CHAPTER NINE

  What the hell is that sound? Natalie's eyes fought against the weight of fatigue as they opened to morning light. An incessant chirping noise had woken her from a deep sleep, demanding her immediate attention. She clumsily grabbed for her phone on the nightstand and checked the display.

  "Natalie! Your phone is waking me up!" Quinn trotted into the bedroom looking like she was fighting sleep herself.

  "Sorry," Natalie croaked as she silenced the phone. "I forgot I set it." She tried to offer an apologetic smile to Quinn but it quickly faded when she saw the look on her friend’s face.

  "Looks like that's not the only thing you forgot."

  Confused, Natalie followed Quinn's line of sight to the space next to her in bed where Joe was sleeping, naked with just a sheet covering him from the hips down. Instinctively Natalie pulled the sheet up around her chest to cover her modesty. But it was too late.

  "I'm going to go make some coffee," Quinn said, her voice slightly too upbeat given she'd stormed into the room. She turned and left before Natalie could even say another word to her.

  "Fuck!" she whispered to herself. The previous night was blurry. The three of them went out for an expensive sushi dinner, then drank and danced until the early morning hours at a club called Palms that Quinn had recommended. The night came back to her in fragments: VIP bottle service, shots, heavy flirting with everyone she talked to, dancing in Joe's lap, making out with some random person, making out with Joe...

  She reached over the side of the bed and grabbed onto the first garment she could find, which just so happened to be Joe's shirt from the previous night. She slipped it on over her naked body before bounding downstairs, the smell of coffee hitting her nostrils immediately.

  "I slept with Joe," Natalie blurted out as soon as she was within visual distance of Quinn.

  "Yes, I guessed as much. I don't know why I'm so surprised. You two were all over each other last night."

  "We were?"

  Quinn nodded as she took a sip from her coffee cup. "I'm not judging you, Red. I don't exactly have the moral high ground here. I'm just..." She took a deep breath as her eyes searched around for the next word. "I'm surprised. What about Audra?"

  Natalie dumped a fresh K-cup into the coffee pot and stabbed the brew button on the machine before sticking a clean cup under the dispenser. "What about her? I can't be interested in two people at once?"

  "You are free to sleep with as many people as you like. My only concern is that you're safe about it."

  "I'm on birth control," Natalie replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

  "I don't just mean safe with sex. Be safe with your feelings. You broke up with James months ago but you only just told me about it, and from everything you described it was very intense."

  "That's the understatement of the year." Natalie grabbed for her fresh cup of coffee and took a cautious first sip. "I'm supposed to be meeting him for lunch today," she added. "In about-" she checked the time display on the oven, "forty minutes actually."

  "Kind of early for lunch, isn't it?"

  Natalie shook her head in agreement. "He said he wants to catch up. I couldn’t say no."

  "I don't blame you. The man looks damn good in a suit."

  You should see him in his birthday suit, she thought to herself. "Hmm." On second thought...

  "Please don't feel like you have to hide whatever it is you've got going on with Joe. As long as it doesn
't interfere with business I don't care if you two fuck all over the house. Same with Audra."

  Natalie's face narrowed. "I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about any of that."

  "Don't have to worry about what?" Joe interrupted as he entered the kitchen wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.

  "You and Natalie having sex all over the house," Quinn answered. Natalie felt her face flush with red hot embarrassment.

  "Damn," he cursed. "There go my plans for the afternoon." He helped himself to a cup of coffee as Natalie wondered if she was the last person in the room to learn to be so comfortable about sex. There used to be a time when Quinn thought Natalie was an inexperienced virgin. Times had definitely changed.

  "All right, I have to go get ready for my super early lunch date."

  "You've got a date?" Joe asked dubiously from his spot at the coffee pot.

  "James." She felt his name was sufficient detail enough. Coffee cup in hand, Natalie made her way back upstairs and set about getting ready for the day.

  After drying off from her shower, Natalie combed through her wet hair and slipped into a pair of black leather leggings, a cropped grey sweater over a cream colored tank top, and fastened up a pair of cream colored ankle boots with gold zippers. It wasn't quite cold enough yet despite it being late autumn in California, but one look out her bedroom window at the grey clouds told her it was going to be overcast and chilly at best. She applied a swipe of black liner to each eye followed by a thick coating of mascara, and then colored her lips with a deep shade of red.

  Downstairs in the kitchen Quinn and Joe were each engrossed on a packet of paper situated between them, laptops open on either side.

  "Is that the Fitson contract?" Natalie asked as she reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

  Quinn looked up and nodded, lips pursed together. "If it's anything like the contract they had with Brighton, then I imagine Graham Martin is shitting in his golf shorts right about now."