Between Darkness & Light

by Theresa Van Spankeren

  “Sorry,” he said as the flames died down a little. “All I know is that Diego went to tell Samuel about his plans to report to the rest of the Council, and Sandro and Chiara were unhappy.”

  “They want you all to head back to Florence,” Christina said. “They hope the Hunters will stay here when we all leave.”

  “They won’t. They aren’t after Rome’s group. They are after us,” I said tiredly.

  “I don’t think that would solve our problem with them. They followed us here from Florence for God’s sake,” Matthew replied.

  Stephen nodded. “I don’t think running will help.”

  “If we returned to Florence, we would be back in Resistance territory. There would be more allies to help us,” I countered.

  “Do you want to risk another encounter like we had outside of Sienna? Besides, I think they would be pretty selective as to whom they helped,” Matthew said. “If what Sandro said is any indication, they’ve probably turned the entire city against us.”

  Christina nodded. “After all, you turned us into traitors, Julia.”

  I frowned at her before looking back at Matthew. “Have you had a chance to talk to Samuel about what you found?”

  “When have I had the chance? He hadn’t been alone in his room for more than fifteen minutes before someone followed him in.”

  “Is Kali in there as well?” I asked.

  “Not this time,” she replied from behind us. I turned to see her walk out of the kitchen, eating some bread. “They don’t like what I have to say, so I was kindly told to stay out.”

  “Seems to be a common theme out here,” Stephen said with a smile.

  “Indeed,” she said, glancing at us. “They are so worried about Julia destroying the Resistance, they fail to see they are doing it themselves.” She headed toward her room, but turned back. “The Medicis are arriving tomorrow. It might be prudent to visit. The sooner the better, Matthew.”

  “Isn’t that an odd thing to say?” Christina commented as Matthew scratched his head. I nodded agreement as I watched Kali disappear back into her room. “Why would it be prudent to visit the Medici family?” Christina asked, looking from Matthew to me.

  “Good question, but I’m not going to argue with her. She sees things,” Matthew replied, getting up. “I think I’ll head to bed. It’ll be a long night tomorrow.”

  “Are you going to go tomorrow then?” Stephen asked.

  “As Kali said, the sooner the better. I just wish I knew why,” he replied as he headed upstairs. The other two followed shortly, leaving me alone. I took Stephen’s seat and waited.

  The fire was low by the time Mary Anne and the others left Samuel’s room. The group didn’t take notice of me as they went upstairs as well. It amused me to see how I was ignored even by those who feared me. You would think they would pay a little more attention to their surroundings if they were that troubled.

  Glancing at the coals in the fireplace, I sighed. Except for some rustling, I heard nothing above me. It seemed everyone was tired and in bed already. Just as I started to get up myself, I heard footsteps in the hall.

  “Julia?” Samuel asked, sounding surprised. “I didn’t realize you were still up.”

  I shrugged. “I’ve just been sitting here, thinking.”

  “About what?” he asked as he walked over and sat down across from me.

  Before answering, I took a few moments to study him. He had said I was welcome and protected here, but Diego’s revelations and these private meetings concerned me. Tension lined his jaw muscles and a now familiar fatigue was etched across his features, but there was nothing in his expression or posture that indicated hostility. “Diego explained to me why they came here. I didn’t realize how many of the Resistance have become suspicious of you and the others. I know that can’t be easy for you. I’m sorry.”

  He frowned, but said, “It’s not, but it is to be expected.”

  “If it would make it better, I can leave,” I said, fidgeting slightly.

  Samuel shook his head. “That won’t help matters. Besides, your dead-husband-turned-Hunter would be after you in no time.”

  “Some would argue I deserve such a fate. It sounds like some of our own members would be happy to kill me themselves.”

  “No. There are circumstances many of them don’t know about. Nor do they need to.”

  “There are things you don’t know about either,” I said. “Matthew has been trying to talk to you about something for a couple days, but you’ve been busy with Sandro and the others.”

  “Why didn’t he just tell me? He was there a few times.”

  “I don’t think he’s comfortable discussing it with people who are potentially hostile.”

  Samuel sighed. “No one is hostile, Julia. Merely confused and distrustful.”

  I thought about arguing, but decided it wasn’t worth it. “Try to talk to him some time tomorrow without them around. I also think a few of us are feeling a little left out of your discussions.”

  “Some of them feel more comfortable talking without you around.”

  “I don’t know how else I can ease their fears, Samuel.”

  “People need time to process, Julia. For most of them your explanation is the first they’ve heard for the incident.”

  I nodded, then said, “I’ve also been thinking about Lane. You were sure he was gone, but he wasn’t.”

  “Leaving would have been the logical thing for a loner to do. You just don’t stay with people you don’t trust.”

  I raised my eyebrow. “Really, Samuel? I think that’s what we’ve done for the better part of five years.”

  He scowled. “That’s different. At one time we had trust built up. Lane hasn’t had that with anyone for years.”

  I leaned back and stared at him. “So how do you explain him staying?”

  Samuel exhaled and replied, “I can’t. Valerie had an odd way of knowing how loners thought. She adapted to me because she had to establish trust to teach me.” A wistful smile appeared on his lips. “She frustrated Damon and the rest of her group a lot by working with me. If she was still here, she might have an idea on how to work with Lane. With her gone, there’s no one who understands both sides.”

  “Except you,” I replied. “You understand him in some ways. You knew that staying with us was no small feat.”

  Samuel slowly nodded. “But even I don’t understand Lane fully. I know what it was like in the first few months . . . but I never spent that much time alone. I can’t explain why he stayed, or even why he’s chosen to help us.” He paused, then said, “Diego will vouch for you to others of the Council. He’s going to leave tomorrow to meet with them. I would go as well, but I do not think Gregory would make it easy to depart.” He stood again. “Get some sleep, Julia.”

  Chapter 20

  I woke abruptly with the feeling that someone was watching me. I frowned and sat up. “Hello?” I whispered.

  There was a faint glow by the door and I saw my usual ghostly visitor. She studied me for a moment. “You did well a few days ago.”

  “I don’t know about that.” I sighed. “Will you tell me your name now? You know mine.”

  “As I said before, I cannot tell you that, but if you wish, you can call me May.”

  “May? As in the name of the month?” I questioned in confusion.

  An amused smile touched her lips. “Yes. And hitting Gregory was extraordinary for you. You can fight him now.”

  I bit my lip as I swallowed back panic. “No, I’m still scared of him, for God’s sake. He was more worried about Lane and Matthew than about me anyway.”

  “You threw him into a wall without touching him,” May said. “Lane and Matthew weren’t the only ones he was afraid of. You are strong, Julia. You need to let go of all this guilt. It is holding you back. No one blames you for what happened.”

  “Except for my daughter,” I whispered. “Even now she must hate me for not saving her.”

  “I’m sure she k
nows you did all you could.”

  I shook my head. “But I’ll never know what she thinks of me, will I?”

  “I’m sure she loved you very much.” She smiled, but there was a glint of anxiety in her eyes. “I have to go, Julia.”

  “Wait. Who is the one tampering with destiny?” I asked. She shook her head and vanished without answering.

  I sat back with a puzzled frown. Who the hell was that girl? Why was she helping me? And why couldn’t she answer my question about who is tampering with my destiny? If it was only mine being tampered with, that is.

  There was a sudden knock on the door. “Julia?” Kali called.

  I rose and opened it. “What is it, Kali?”

  She shifted nervously, playing with a strand of black hair that came out of her braid. “Well, I was wondering . . . ”

  “You want to talk to Lane?” I finished with a questioning tilt of my head.

  She nodded, then said, “I was thinking Samuel could talk to him as well.”

  “I have spoken to Samuel about it. He said he’s willing to do so, but I think he’s still a little unsure about it. Tonight might not be the best time, especially since he really needs to talk to Matthew. Besides, Lane just got rid of us after spending the entire day with us. He probably wants this night to himself. I’m kind of surprised that he doesn’t simply cloak when he sees our group.”

  Kali looked exasperated. “I think Matthew is already talking to Samuel. As for Lane, he keeps helping us out, so he must like us in a way.”

  “Yes, he trusts us not to stab him in the back,” I muttered under my breath.

  Kali nodded. “That’s a way of putting it. I think talking with Lane might be good for Samuel right now. The past has been stirred up in a way it hasn’t been in centuries for him. This can help him process that time as a loner.”

  I sighed. “Samuel’s over five hundred years old. You don’t think he’s dealt with that already?”

  “Have you made peace with your daughter’s death?” Kali countered. I scowled in response, and she continued, “You and the others had support from the moment you were turned that Samuel did not. Most lone vampires are insane. It’s difficult to ask them about their experiences. Lane is not daft and most likely shares some of those early thoughts and encounters.”

  “Well, you can go ask him.”

  Kali gave me a sour look. “Chicken,” she said and walked to Samuel’s room. She stepped inside a moment later.

  I frowned and sat down in the main room. “Samuel’s going to love her idea,” I said under my breath.

  Matthew walked in a moment later, dressed in clothing with the Medici crest. “About nine. That’s better than midnight.”

  I gave him an exasperated look. “You’re critiquing the time I wake up now?”

  “The night is half gone if you sleep that late.”

  “I see you are heading out soon. Did you talk to Samuel?”

  Matthew nodded. “I showed him the entry in the journal, among other things. I think it gave him a lot to think about.”

  “I hoped that would be enough to convince him.”

  “It seems as if this is hard for him to accept.” He shrugged. “Samuel always had more difficulty with certain aspects of being a vampire than others.”

  I looked at him quizzically. “What kind of difficulty?”

  Matthew sighed. “I’ll explain later.” He headed for the door. “I have to go before it gets too late,” he called back over his shoulder.

  “Stay safe,” I replied and looked toward Samuel’s room. “I wonder what Kali is saying to convince him to do what I’ve been trying to get him to do for days.”

  Sometime later, Kali walked into the room with a triumphant look on her face. “He’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  I stared at her in surprise. “All right, how did you convince him to talk to Lane in just a few minutes when all I could do in a week was get him to admit it is a good idea?”

  She smiled. “A little prodding,” she answered.

  “Even now I can’t get a straight answer from you,” I said with an exasperated shake of my head. “He seems troubled again, doesn’t he?” I asked a second later.

  She sat down beside me and stared at me. “Samuel’s had a rough few years as well. Between nearly being killed, your betrayal, other members’ suspicion, and realizing Lane isn’t as insane as everyone thought . . . it’s worn on him. I think this can help, although I admit it was difficult to get Samuel to agree. He can be quite stubborn.”

  I smiled faintly. “Don’t I know it.”

  A little later, Samuel appeared in the doorway, dressed all in black. His blue eyes were dark with turmoil. “You ready to go, Kali?”

  She nodded as I looked at her. She shrugged and glanced toward Samuel. For once, her meaning was obvious: if I wanted to go with them, ask him. “Can I go with you?”

  He stared at me a moment, indecision playing on his face. Finally, he shrugged. “If you want to. I know you advocated this idea as well.”

  I nodded and we both stood. Samuel stepped on the ladder leading upstairs and said a few words to Mary Anne, and the three of us left. Samuel and I cloaked ourselves, knowing Lane would sense us approach no matter what we did.

  As we walked, I asked, “Where are you going to look for him?”

  Kali looked at me. “The woods where we originally talked,” she replied. “I think it’s the most likely place to find him.”

  I nodded and glanced toward Samuel, who frowned. “I thought the abandoned house,” he said.

  “Why would he still be there, Samuel? You and the other two know where that is,” she replied.

  “So we do,” he mumbled. I waited for him to say something more, but he lapsed into silence. I wondered how we were going to get them to talk. I doubt Samuel was going to be the first to say something, and Lane isn’t one to start a conversation. Of course, we’ll only have to worry about that if we find him.

  Kali led the way through the trees, all the way to the area where she and Lane talked a week or two ago. The fallen tree she had sat on was a few feet from us. I was amazed she found the exact spot again. she sent out.

  We scanned the area. “Maybe he’s not around,” I said as Kali repeated his name. Samuel didn’t seem surprised when Lane still didn’t appear. As time dragged on, I wondered if he had been right about where to search. It seemed as if Lane might have moved on from this area.

  It had been about a half hour when I turned to Kali. Her shoulders slumped when I suggested we head home, but there was no reason to stay and risk being found by enemies when it was obvious the person we were looking for wasn’t here.

  I was stepping over the log near our path when Lane abruptly dropped down out of the trees. He landed a few feet from us, his odd coat swirling around him. I tripped and had to steady myself against the nearest tree. In my peripheral vision, Kali jumped a good foot or so, and even Samuel stumbled back a step or two.

  Kali caught her breath first and turned to him. “We were just looking for you.” Even she sounded frazzled, the girl who wouldn’t blink an eye at most things.

  Lane looked at her in silence. “You know, you’re going to scare someone to death doing that,” I scolded as I caught my breath.

  He glanced at me as Samuel spoke. “I’m surprised to see you here. I actually thought you would be at the abandoned house we were at a couple nights ago.”

  We looked at him, Lane with a startled expression. He didn’t answer him but turned back to Kali. “You were looking for me? Why?”

  Kali glanced at Samuel, then at Lane and nodded. “Actually, it’s Samuel who wants to talk to you,” she replied. She walked toward me and sat down on the log.

  Lane looked at each of us in turn, his expression a mix of confusion and suspicion. “If you thought I was at the abandoned house, why are you here looking for me?”

  My companions were both silent, so I answered. “There was a bit of disagreement on where to look for you. S
amuel thought the house; Kali didn’t think you would be there since we knew about it. We ended up going with her idea.”

  Lane was still a moment, as if processing what I said. He turned to Samuel and studied him. Curiosity filled his gray eyes. “You’re different than the others,” he said suddenly.

  Samuel stared back. “Yes,” he answered at last. “I am.” He glanced at me, almost as if looking for reassurance that he was doing the right thing. I nodded at him, encouraging him to continue.

  “I said before that Valentino and I have a history. We first met here in this city almost six hundred years ago,” Samuel said and explained how his family had been murdered and he had been turned that fateful night. Lane listened, but seemed baffled by how it made him different than us.

  Samuel continued, “The next night I left Rome. The bastards were out feeding and I fled. I eventually ended up in Marseilles. I spent weeks – or more – roaming the town. I lost track of time.” He shrugged.

  The shock in Lane’s eyes rapidly turned to recognition. “You have been alone.”

  Samuel nodded. “Yes, for a couple of months or so. I wandered without any idea of what to do. I went as long as possible without feeding because I had no idea how to – and I didn’t want to kill. I did not even know vampires could hypnotize humans. I didn’t know anything.”

  Lane made a small sound of disbelief. “That’s one thing I do know. So what happened?”

  “The hunger became overpowering. I started feeding when I was interrupted by a female vampire. She knocked me off and told me she permitted no killing in her territory, that she should kill me for invading her turf and doing so. I told her to go ahead and kill me. I didn’t care if I died; I wasn’t very interested in staying alive.” A bitter smile touched his lips.

  Lane nodded and I looked away. I too had been at that point – under vastly different circumstances. The point when I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I sighed, an almost silent noise, and glanced toward Kali. She was listening quietly, in a detached sort of way; she had never shared the sentiment.

  Samuel resumed speaking a moment later. “I had taken her off guard; she expected me to fight . . . not beg to be killed. She had assumed I was older, and probably assumed I was insane like most loners. It was only after I spoke that she realized how young I was – by her standards, practically a brand new fledgling. She questioned me about my maker and appearance.” He looked at Lane. “I told her the truth. I had no idea who my maker was, hoped the monster was still in Rome, and it was my own dried blood all over my clothes.”