Poison in Pumps

by Karen Anne

  I didn’t answer. He knew I would.

  My arms were wound tightly around David, my body pressed up against him, the smell of his leather jacket intoxicating as he drove his motorcycle through the streets until we were at his apartment.

  David unlocked the door and turned on the lights. The apartment looked as it always had, nothing more. I almost expected it to cast me out. But there were no ghosts, just walls.

  The realization he most likely had visited Harry this afternoon hit me. I could only imagine what they had spoken about. It was then I realized, David still hadn’t kissed me. Really kissed me, and that made my stomach flutter with nerves.

  “Hey, can we talk?” I asked.

  “Of course.” He offered me a seat on the couch, but all I could see was me high as a kite tossing popcorn into Harry’s mouth. I glanced at the kitchen and saw us cooking lamb chops. This apartment did have ghosts. I was wrong.

  “Can we go in your room?”

  David nodded slowly, and that’s when I knew he knew. He hadn’t questioned why, just turned around and walked down the hallway to his bedroom. “Hold on a sec.” I reached for my phone. I couldn’t forget about the cat. Talk about disaster.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Texting Brit and seeing if she can feed Beast. Have you forgotten that we have a child? You were the one that wanted him after all.”

  “You’re right. I forgot about the fur ball.” He winked. “You’re a brilliant, mum.”

  Brit wrote back and assured me Beast was okay, and I knew I was free from all responsibility. I placed the phone on the night stand and sat on David’s bed. Looking around, I could see he was still pretty much living out of a suitcase. Nothing was unpacked, just tossed about. It made me wonder if his return was only temporary. That made me anxious, and I had an urge to start cleaning. But I refrained.

  David sat beside me, and I was so torn. I wanted to just bleach out the past five months, wash away the red from my ledger. But like he said last night, I couldn’t go back, only forward.

  “Did you see Harry today?”

  “I did.” I felt him stiffen beside me.

  “I don’t know what he told you, but—”

  “I think you should press charges,” David said without emotion.

  “Press charges?”

  “I know you were able to stop the situation before it escalated, but he was ready to take it further. Look, the only reason I’m not in jail tonight for beating him to a bloody pulp is because I was escorted out of the facility by security.” My eyes widened in shock. “When he told me what almost happened—”

  “He was high. He doesn’t even know what happened. He remembers bits and pieces and assumes the worst. I remember it clear as day.”

  “All the more reason why you should press charges.”

  “Did he tell you how before that night, I got high with him, too?”

  “He told me he offered you some pills when you were— distraught.” David’s mouth twitched. He clearly wasn’t placing any blame on me, only his cousin.

  “Yes, well, I took them.”

  “It happened once.” David shrugged.

  “It happened more than once.”

  “How often?”

  I had to think about it. “Four times— six if you count the sleeping pills.”

  David only nodded. I could tell he was trying so hard to remain calm. “He told me you visited him, why?”

  “Because he doesn’t remember the night correctly,” I repeated. “From what you’re telling me, he thinks he practically assaulted me. But it was nothing like that, I swear. He was a mess, David. His thoughts were consumed more with the pills than with me.” David’s brows remained crinkled. He didn’t understand. “When he wasn’t high, he was the one that took care of me when I fell to shit. He made sure I ate, he let me crash here, he was the shoulder I cried on. The real Harry, not that guy who was under the influence. Harry Archer.”

  David was quiet, and I was afraid to look at him.

  “Plus, after I heard the song, I had to talk to you. You had changed your number. I had no way of reaching you, and I figured Harry might have it, so I went to see him.”

  “Bloody Garret.” David shook his head. “I didn’t even know my number was changed until about a month later.”

  “Garret changed it?”

  “Yeah, people were coming out of the wood work when I got the deal. People who didn’t give a crap about me before. Calling like crazy. I guess they wanted money. Who knows.”

  My heart sank. “I tried calling you… I thought you changed it to get rid of me for good.”

  David’s eyes widened as he realized what that must have been like for me.

  “Bloody hell, Kris! I’m so sorry! I honestly had no idea, and by the time I did know, we were broken up for months. I didn’t really think you wanted me anymore.”

  “I wanted you every single day. Even right now, sitting next to you…” I couldn’t find the words. It was too much, and I was so scared of saying the wrong thing. I couldn’t have him disappear again. “I just need to know we can move forward from this.”

  “I already told you we could.”

  “Saying it and meaning it are two different things. Do you forgive me?” I asked again, even though he told me last night there was nothing to forgive.

  He shook his head. “Forgive you? I didn’t handle things the way I should have. I kept too much from you in the beginning, I asked Brit to lie to you, and I got used to keeping you in the dark. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Danny. I thought the less you knew the less you’d have to worry about. That theory pretty much bit me in the arse.”

  “What I don’t understand is why didn’t you want me to know about any of this initially? The sessions with Brit, the recording, the song. It was all good news. It’s like you got so used to keeping things from me it became normal behavior while you were overseas.”

  “I was so scared of being a failure in your eyes. I wanted to really make it before I revealed everything. I want to give you the world, Kris. I’m twenty-eight years old. I can’t sing in a coffee shop forever. You’re graduating from college and going to Juilliard. You’re making your dreams come true. I didn’t even go to college. I needed to prove I wasn’t a failure. I needed to prove that I was worthy of you.”

  “Worthy? David, if all you ever did for the rest of your life was sing in a coffee shop, I’d still be with you. As long as you did it with integrity and passion. You’re my very heart, and for the past five months, my heart stopped beating, and I had to survive without it. I never want to feel that again. Do you know how impossible it is to live when you feel dead?” The tears were slipping down my cheek.

  He dropped his head into his hands. “I never felt like I was enough for you.”

  “You’re more than enough.”

  He looked up at me. “I love you so much.”

  I was a crying mess, and all I could think about was one thing. “Then why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

  David looked at me, his eyes desperate to make me understand. “Because I knew I could only kiss you if it was real, if the heartache was finally over. I can’t go through this pain again.” That’s when it finally hit me. He had been hurting just as bad as I had. “I knew if I kissed you, I wouldn’t be able to stop.” He was shaking, I could see that now. He drew his gaze up, and his hazel eyes locked on mine.

  “Then don’t stop,” I practically begged.

  David looked relieved, swept his hands to the sides of my face, leaned in, and pressed his lips to mine. He was trembling, we both were, as we touched each other blindly. It was as though we were afraid we wouldn’t feel the same, or perhaps the time apart had thrown us out of sync. David pulled back, his lips just about to leave mine, no more than a breath between us when he returned, this time crushing his lips against my own, feeling them, drinking them like fine wine, savoring every drop. My heart burst into bloom as he kissed me, my body alive once more, reacting to his
. The heat rising between us melted away the hurt and heartache. We had raged against the storm, the battle scars fading from view as we emerged on the other side stronger than before. My hands reached up to cradle the back of his head and draw him closer. His lips claimed mine, body and soul. We were making silent vows with that kiss, vows we would never break. And with those unspoken vows, we fell in love all over again.

  Slowly, like emerging from the most blissful dream, we broke apart, a knowing glance exchanged between us with a smile of wonder. I turned my head, matching my lips to the kiss mark tattooed on his skin as David released the sweetest sigh of contentment. He took me in his strong arms, holding me close.

  He was home. We both were.

  EPILOGUE

  My graduation cap had grown legs and ran away. I searched frantically in every nook and cranny of my room, but the damn thing had obliterated. Panic had taken over, and I couldn’t hide it.

  “What’s wrong, love?” At the sound of his voice, my heart softened. It had only been a few days, so I still had to remind myself that David was actually here.

  “I can’t find my graduation cap.”

  He checked his watch. “I think we better go.”

  “I can’t, I need my cap.”

  David placed his hands on my hips and bent his knees so he was eye level with me. “No, you need to walk down the aisle on time. Your parents want to see that, it will only last a second, don’t have them miss it over a hat.”

  “But…” My bottom lip trembled. “I need it.”

  “Sorry!” Brit burst through my bedroom door, panting. “I had to make three stops. This was the last one.”

  I had no idea what she was talking about, but she was handing me a gift bag. “Thanks, but I really need to find my hat. Can you help me look?”

  “Look in the bag, silly.” Brit was beaming.

  I peeked through the tissue paper and there it was, my graduation cap, but the entire top had been hand-painted. There were music notes going around the edges creating a frame, in every corner was our sorority shield and in the center in perfect calligraphy was a quote.

  “She believed she could. So she did,” I read out loud, sniffed back my tears, and threw my arms around Brit, squeezing her tight. “Thank you. I love it. I love you.”

  “Ladies, let’s go!” Erik called from the bottom of the stairs. Brit nodded, and I looked at David, who was beaming with pride as I followed my little sister down the stairs. As soon as I saw Erik and Jaime, I knew where her other stops had been. The top of Jaime’s hat was painted in stars. In the center was a perfect superman symbol. Jaime’s pledge name was Kal-El.

  Erik’s hat was a guitar with vines around it. Brit told me he had a tattoo, and although I never saw it, I had a feeling she had recreated it.

  “Let me just take a quick picture, and we’re off.” Brit pulled out her phone, and I got in between Jaime and Erik so Brit and David could take our picture. This was really it. We were graduating. I looked at Brit, wishing she was joining us but still happy she had two more years to make memories.

  “Wait! I need one with Brit!” I said, grabbing her waist and pulling her close.

  “Ladies! After the ceremony, I’ll take an entire photoshoot. Right now, get in the car!” David said like a drill sergeant as he opened the door.

  “I think Garret rubbed off on him,” Brit said, making a face as we walked out of the doorway and took the next steps toward our future.

  The actual ceremony was a blur. I was sitting with the music majors, Erik was with the art majors, and Jaime was with the journalism majors. We were all scattered. The auditorium was so large, I didn’t even know where my family was, I just knew that David was sitting with them and that made me feel good. I assumed Brit was with Erik’s parents. Unlike David, who had to really prove himself to my parents, the Draxtons seemed to have adopted Brit right away. I guess purple hair is not as scary as tattoo sleeves and a six-year age difference. But now, after years of getting to know him, my mother loved David, and I knew she was relieved he was back in the States. I had never told her just how bad it had gotten, but in a way, I think she knew.

  After the ceremony, David did take at least a hundred pictures of me and my friends, and Brit took one of me and David on his motorcycle as I tossed my cap up in the air. It was all so bittersweet, the joy of what we had achieved, but the sadness that this chapter in our lives had truly come to an end.

  “I’ll call you later,” I said as I gave Brit one final hug good-bye. She was going off to Erik’s house to celebrate. They were having a party for him. My parents were taking me, David, and Adam out to dinner at a fancy restaurant in town.

  My father ordered another bottle of champagne. He couldn’t stop smiling at me. I knew he was proud, but the way he was looking at me, I was starting to think that perhaps Adam had informed them of my little breakdown. Maybe he was glad that I got my happy ending. Or maybe I was over thinking everything, and he just had too much champagne.

  “Will you be living on campus?” Adam asked as he sliced into his steak.

  “No.” I looked over at my parents. “Mom is going to help me look for an apartment, but who knows what I’ll be able to afford. I’ll probably rent a refrigerator box in Hell’s Kitchen.” I was actually really nervous about everything. August would be here before I knew it, and I wasn’t ready.

  My mother smiled at me and sipped her champagne. “These things have a way of working themselves out, Kristen. I wouldn’t worry about it.” David and I exchanged a glance. After all we had been through, I knew she was right.

  I said good-bye to my family and told them I’d be in Boston in a few days. Adam hugged me a moment longer than expected. “I’m so proud of you, Kris.”

  “Did I hit a home run?”

  He kissed my cheek. “Grand Slam.”

  After we said farewell, David took me for a ride on his bike. The sun was setting, and the sky looked so beautiful as the orange faded into magenta. I rested my cheek against his back, closed my eyes, and felt like it was all a wonderful dream. I didn’t ask where we were going. I didn’t care as long as I was with him. David drove into the part of town where all the bars were and parked. I got off the bike, removed the helmet, fixed my dress, and took his hand.

  David looked like he had been thinking. “You know, it’s funny. I happen to know a bloke who has an apartment in midtown. He’s also looking for a roommate. Perhaps it could work out well for you?”

  I almost laughed at his suggestion. “Uh, yeah, I don’t think I want to live with a man. And I’d think after the whole Danny thing, you’d be against that, too.” I jabbed him in the arm.

  “Ah, you’re better off. Besides, he was only interested in a one bedroom.”

  I stopped walking and looked at him incredulously. “Why would I live with a stranger in a one bedroom?”

  He lifted the left side of his mouth into a crooked grin. “Well… it’s not a stranger. It’s me.”

  I took a step back, not believing his words. “Is this your way of telling me you’re moving to New York?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

  I felt the tears threaten. I bit down on my bottom lip. I knew he was back. I didn’t know for how long or what his next move was. I had avoided asking because not knowing meant I didn’t have to think about saying good-bye again. I could just exist in the now. But I didn’t have to do that anymore. I leapt into his arms, and he grabbed my waist, lifting me up as he squeezed me. David lowered me back to earth, unwrapped his arms, and stared at me intently, his hazel eyes sparkling. He licked his bottom lip and gave my hand a gentle tug. My head was spinning.

  “Remember this place, love?” David asked as we crossed the street and walked toward a bar. I smiled. How could I forget? It was where we met.

  “I remember a bouncer not letting me inside,” I said, recalling David at the door three years ago.

  “I just wanted to talk to you.” He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear
. “If I let you inside, you would have met a guy and disappeared. Not letting you in meant I kept you with me.”

  I smiled and looked at the empty doorway. It looked so simple, yet that spot began the story of us.

  David squeezed my hand, and I looked back at him. He took a deep breath. “So, I asked your father something today, but now I want to ask you.”

  He let go of my hand, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the black velvet box that had the promise ring I had returned. In all the confusion, I had forgotten about that little ring. But when he opened the box, there wasn’t a silver promise ring.

  There was a diamond in a platinum setting sparkling back at me. Astonished, I dug my heels hard against the ground, terrified I might blink and miss a second of this moment.

  “The first ring I gave you represented a promise that I would return. This ring represents a promise that I will never leave you. I’ve lived without you, and it’s a life I never want to live again.” David dropped to one knee, his gaze never leaving mine. He held up the ring, and it felt like he was holding my heart. “Kristen Forte, will you marry me?”

  I didn’t answer with words. Instead, I reached for his wrist and tugged him to get off his knee and return to me. As soon as he was standing to full height, I pulled his face against mine and kissed him. We melted into each other, kissing passionately. I could taste the salty tears in our kiss, and realized I was crying. But this time it was happy tears. When we finally broke apart, David looked at me, his eyes still uncertain. “Is that a yes?”

  I nodded fiercely. “That’s a yes.”

  David kissed me again, saying everything and nothing all at once. He slipped the ring on my finger. We were both shaking. “I know I promised you a massive diamond, but this one was my Gran’s. I thought you might prefer a family heirloom. She gave it to me when I was in London.”

  “She gave it to you?” I said, still stunned by what was transpiring, and the realization that my family, and his, had known the whole time. “It’s… perfect.”

  “Yes, I told her I had lost the love of my life, and she said, ‘David, you get her back and bring her here so I can meet her. And when I do, I want her wearing this.’”