The Loveless Princess

by Lilian Bodley

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Book Details

  Dedication

  The Loveless Princess

  About the Author

  The

  Loveless

  Princess

  LILIAN BODLEY

  Princess Anette doesn't love her fiancé, Prince Everett, and despite constant assurances from everyone around her, knows she never will. It's not that he's terrible, it's simply that she doesn't love anyone, or want to be with anyone, the way the rest of the world says she should.

  But princesses must marry princes. She's expected to have her proper happily ever after. So Annette tries her best to be happy in her new life—until she catches her husband with the stable boy, and in a moment of anger wishes Prince Everett would just disappear.

  And then he does.

  The Loveless Princess

  By Lilian Bodley

  Published by Less Than Three Press LLC

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission of the publisher, except for the purpose of reviews.

  Edited by Emilia Vane

  Cover designed by

  This book is a work of fiction and all names, characters, places, and incidents are fictional or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is coincidental.

  First Edition May 2017

  Copyright © 2017 by Lilian Bodley

  Printed in the United States of America

  Digital ISBN 9781684310159

  Hi Jess! Thank you for your help and support and friendship.

  Love ya man. No romo. We 'ace' everything except for romo

  The Loveless Princess

  "Anette, please, see reason," her father said, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. Her mother took his hand, holding it tightly as her brow furrowed.

  "There isn't any reason to be seen," Anette snapped. She stared at their intertwined hands, watching the light glint off her mother's wedding ring as she continued in a softer voice. "I won't marry Prince Everett. I don't love him."

  "You'll come to love him in time, darling," her mother reassured her.

  Anette shook her head. She would never come to love Prince Everett. She had never felt any love or desire toward anyone, so what made Prince Everett so special? Since she was small, she had always been confused by love and by desire. What were those two emotions that everyone around her seemed to have, that made them so sought after?

  "You're wrong," she told her mother, an edge to her voice that made her mother's eyes widen.

  "Anette!" Her father slammed his fist against his armrest. Anette flinched slightly. She didn't expect her father to strike her, but the movement and the loud tone of his voice were like the back of a hand all on their own.

  "Dear," her mother murmured to him, and he sighed, settling back in his throne.

  He was understandably tired from arguing. The debate between her and her parents had been going on for weeks, ever since it was announced Princess Anette of Thalor and Prince Everett of Estar were to be married. Anette refused to be married off to a man she had never met, but she couldn't do much. Already it was the day before the wedding, with Prince Everett arriving from Estar any hour and servants bustling around the castle making preparations. No matter what Anette did, she couldn't stop the decision. It wasn't hers to make.

  "Anette," her father said again, his voice low and deliberate. "Do you really think you'll never find love? That you'll never find happiness?"

  Anette bit her lip. She clenched her fists, grabbing handfuls of her gown and twisting the pale green fabric. She was silent, not trusting her voice. It would waver somehow, she knew. It would crack or shake and betray her feelings. She wanted to shout at him that she didn't want to be married, because why on earth did marriage mean happiness?

  It would do no good, though, no matter how much she tried, and so she kept quiet.

  "Please, darling," her mother begged, "this marriage must happen, for the good of our two kingdoms. Prince Everett is a lovely boy. He will take good care of you." Her voice cracked, and guilt filled Anette, ugly and sour. "We only want the best for you."

  "I promise you, my daughter." Her father squeezed her mother's hand. "You'll be happy."

  Why must I marry to be happy? She thought again, letting go of her dress and trying to smile. She cared for her parents very much, and couldn't bear the thought of either of them getting any more upset. Her mother's eyes were wet and shiny, and her father kept shifting uncomfortably.

  "He's really a lovely boy," her mother said again, wiping her eyes. "He's close to your age, and he has quite a handsome face. I hear he also enjoys riding. He spends much of his time in the stables."

  Anette perked slightly at the mention of riding. Despite the fact they were marrying, she knew little about Prince Everett. She didn't talk to very many young men. But the expectant looks on her parent's faces made her sink back down. They thought if she and Prince Everett could find some common ground, she would be less opposed to the wedding.

  She smoothed the front of her dress, wanting to cry. Something so simple wouldn't make her love someone.

  Anette shoved her feelings down and nodded, unable to speak with everything welling up in her throat. Her parents immediately perked up. Her mother clapped her hands together in delight, while her father's eyes gleamed with happiness.

  "Oh, my darling." Her mother stood and embraced her. "I know you'll be happy with him."

  Anette wanted to ask what she should do if she wasn't happy being married. She kept quiet. Her mother brushed her hair from her face, beaming. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement, the laughter lines around her eyes appearing. "Come with me, darling. I want to see you in your dress once more before the ceremony." She took Anette's arm and led her away, chattering on about how happy she was.

  "Oh, I've been so excited for this day ever since you were born," her mother said as they climbed the tower to Anette's room. "I always wanted a daughter, so that before her wedding I could comb her hair and help her dress."

  Anette was silent, and her mother continued to talk. She kept going on and on about how happy Anette would be and about how wonderful married life was. Her mother said she'd never been happier than when she was married to Anette's father, and that Anette would no doubt find happiness with Prince Everett.

  "Mother…" Anette started as her mother sat her down in front of the mirror and began to brush her hair. "Are you sure I'll grow to love Prince Everett?"

  "Of course, darling. You two will be a wonderful couple." She reassured, her cheeks flushed and eyes excitedly bright.

  "But…"

  "But what, darling?"

  "Remember what you told me, when you were a little younger than me now, and you liked a serving boy who worked at the royal table?"

  Her mother pursed her lips, but she nodded. "He had lovely golden curls and bright blue eyes. I gave him a kiss behind the columns one night."

  "Did you love him like you love father?"

  She blinked slowly, but she shook her head. "No, darling. It was just a passing thing." She smiled faintly. "Besides, he was a serving boy."

  "But you liked him."

  "I suppose. Why do you ask?"

  Anette hesitated. She had never felt something like that towards anyone, serving boy with golden curls and bright blue eyes or otherwise. She had never looked at a person and thought she would like to kiss them. Her maids sometimes gossiped about boys, but it had always confused her. What was the point? What was the attraction? Why gossip about boys when there were so many other things to talk about?

  "I've never felt like that toward a boy," she admitted, her voice barely audible. Her
mother's look in the mirror made her regret saying anything. Her mother gripped her shoulders tightly, her eyes suddenly serious.

  "What about girls?" her mother demanded, an edge to her voice Anette wasn't familiar with, nor did she understand the reason for it. "Do you feel anything toward girls?"

  "No, mother," she said honestly.

  Her mother relaxed. "You mustn't scare me like that."

  Anette frowned. "Why does that scare you?"

  Her mother pursed her lips again, focusing intensely on brushing Anette's hair. Anette winced as the brush ripped harshly through a tangle.

  "You're betrothed to a prince. You… It's not…" She took a deep breath slowly, shaking her head slowly. "Anette, you're a princess. And princesses, of all girls, must love boys."

  "What if I don't love anyone?" Anette burst. She felt so angry and frustrated with it all. She wanted to reach out and break the mirror in front of her and scream, but rational thought overpowered the urge.

  "You'll love Prince Everett," her mother said firmly, the tone in her voice signaling an end to the conversation.

  Anette bit her lip to hold back tears again as her mother continued combing her hair. The room was silent, the absence of words heavy and stuffy.

  Finally, her mother set down the brush, sighing. "Anette, dearest. You're young, and you've not known many suitable boys. Your grandmother had trouble with love as well. She never met another person until she was eighteen, when her husband found her and rescued her from that awful tower."

  Yes, but she was actually in love with her husband. Anette nearly said, but she kept her mouth shut tight.

  "Your father and I want the best for you. We decided that Prince Everett was the ideal match for you. He is from a famous lineage, you know. His great-great grandmother could feel a pea under a hundred mattresses."

  Anette didn't say anything more. Her mother hummed a tune as she helped Anette dress, but the room still bristled with tension. Anette allowed her mother to help her into the white dress that had been made when the marriage was first announced. She kept her face passive as she slid the white fabric past her head, but inside she was screaming and raving. She didn't want to be married. She knew, deep down, that no matter who she married— boy or girl, golden curls and blue eyes or otherwise, she would not love them. She didn't feel it was possible.

  She stood in front of the mirror, taking in the white dress and the silver crown pinned tightly in her hair. She wanted to rip the dress apart and throw the crown out the window. If she weren't a princess, she wouldn't have to marry. But her mother stood behind her, beaming and her eyes filling with happy tears, and Annette stood still. It didn't matter what she wanted. This was what her parents thought was best. So she must marry the prince.

  *~*~*

  Anette wondered nervously what Prince Everett looked like. They were to be married, but she had never met him. Prince Everett had arrived last night as scheduled, but he and her father had spent the night talking, and her mother had kept her in her room. The bride wasn't allowed to see the groom before their wedding day, so she had no idea what to expect.

  Maybe he was blond and blue eyed, like the serving boy her mother had kissed. What if he had a tail and fangs and claws like a giant beast? Her parents had said he was a nice boy with a handsome face. They wouldn't have said that if he looked like a beast.

  Maybe he was enchanted, and he turned into a frog or something each night? One of her cousins had married a frog prince. She had kissed him and he had turned into a human, but he still had a nasty habit of croaking and eating the flies in his soup.

  Anette shook her head to clear her thoughts. She had to focus. She was standing outside the chapel doors, in her white gown and with flowers in her hair. The wedding was happening. It was all too real.

  I will be all right. She repeated to herself, over and over as she pulled on her dress nervously. She swallowed sour tasting saliva. Maybe I'll grow to like him. She repeated the mantra over and over in her head as the chapel doors opened and she entered. Small murmurs came from the attendees. Her parents beamed from the front row, and at the end of the aisle was Prince Everett.

  He stood straight and tall, with dark hair swept over one side of his face. He smiled when he saw her, but it seemed more a gesture of politeness than anything else.

  Anette felt nothing when she looked at him. She supposed he was handsome, but what more was supposed to happen? Should she want to kiss him? Should she giggle and blush when he smiled at her? She tried to think of what her maids did around boys they fancied, but nothing seemed like something she could force herself to do. There were girls in the chapel pews who were whispering and giggling to each other, smiling and blushing at Prince Everett. Did they think he was handsome? Did they want to kiss his cheek behind a pillar like her mother had kissed the curly haired serving boy?

  She didn't know, and she had no more time to think. She reached the end of the aisle and stood face to face with him. He had very large brown eyes. He smiled at her again, and she gave him a strained half-smile as she was unable to muster a more sincere one.

  "Hello," Prince Everett said.

  "Hello."

  Should she have swooned at his voice when he spoke to her? What was she supposed to be doing? She had gone to several weddings, and in all of them, the bride was blushing the entire time, and the groom couldn't take his eyes off her. She wasn't blushing. Prince Everett's eyes traveled all around the room, returning to her only occasionally.

  "Do you take Prince Everett of Estar as your husband?" she was asked suddenly.

  Did she take Prince Everett as her husband? Did she want to say yes? Did she have to?

  The priest was looking straight at her. His eyebrows were raised, a forced smile on his face that told Anette she was taking too long to answer.

  "I do," Anette said flatly. Prince Everett affirmed the question as he was asked, and her mother began crying in the front row. The priest motioned for her to hold out her hand, and she did so limply. Prince Everett took her hand gingerly, sliding a small golden band onto the ring finger. His hand was cold. She did the same to him, taking the ring from the priest and placing it on Prince Everett's finger. His face was expressionless, impossible to read. She caught a glimpse of his right hand, hanging by his side, his knuckles white.

  "You may kiss your bride," the priest said.

  Anette felt ill. She didn't want to kiss Prince Everett. She looked at him and this time he didn't smile at her. Her stomach felt hollow.

  Prince Everett leaned forwards and kissed her on the mouth very quickly. He straightened up, his face still expressionless. She had to resist the urge to wipe her mouth. What about that was supposed to be so amazing?

  She turned and looked at her parents, who were beaming at her with tears in their eyes as the chapel bells rang. Prince Everett held her hand loosely. Her saliva tasted sour and ugly in her mouth, her stomach churning as she stood in front of everyone, the ring on her finger tight and uncomfortable.

  *~*~*

  The first crack in their marriage was, of course, the marriage happening in the first place. The second crack appeared when Anette and Prince Everett boarded the ship that would take them from Thalor to Estar. The journey lasted three days, and while they slept in the same cabin, neither touched each other. She wasn't complaining about that. She didn't want anything to do with Prince Everett, especially in the bedroom. She had overheard her maids talking about it sometimes, and had been so confused and disgusted by what they had said.

  But throughout the journey, Prince Everett barely spoke to her. Every time she approached him, he had to go oversee the crew, or at night when she tried to talk to him, he was already asleep. They were married, and the only word they had said to each other was 'hello.'

  Anette finally managed to corner him on the afternoon of their arrival in Estar. He was standing on the front of the ship, watching the horizon. When she approached him and spoke, he jumped. He had something in his hand that he hurri
edly stuffed into his breast pocket. She only caught a glimpse before it was gone. A bit of paper with a drawing of a young man on it.

  "Hello." He smiled. His smile carried none of the warmth she had seen her parents look at each other with.

  "Hello." She twisted her wedding ring uncomfortably, the metal foreign and strange on her skin. She had been fiddling with it since it had been slipped onto her finger. "What is Estar like?" she asked after a pause that lasted far too long, just to finally say something that wasn't a greeting.

  He looked back over the horizon, touching his breast pocket softly. "It's a lovely place," he said fondly. "Much like Thalor. The palace is surrounded with orange trees and faces the sea. There are wide open plains great for riding and deep forests with huge ancient trees." He paused. "There's a bit of a problem with rose plants growing out of control, but they're getting to be less so ever since my mother woke up."

  "I was told you enjoy riding," Anette said.

  He nodded. "I heard the same. Perhaps when we arrive and have rested, we can go riding."

  "Yes," she agreed, wondering if she should feel something towards Prince Everett now that they had established they had something in common. From what her mother and her maids had said, she would start liking Prince Everett more and more when they found things they had in common. Both of them liked riding. Now what?

  They were quiet again. Prince Everett continued to stare out at the horizon, his hand still on his breast pocket. Anette exhaled harshly. She was trying to be nice, to start a conversation and learn more about him, but he seemed so uninterested. She turned around and stomped away, leaving Prince Everett at the front. He called out after her but didn't try to stop her leaving.

  In her cabin, Anette paced back and forth in the small room. She chewed on her lip, playing with the ring, growing more and more frustrated the more she thought and the more she paced. She wished she were back home, not married. She knew she wouldn't be happy married. What about this was so amazing? Why was being married the best thing that would ever happen to her?