by Bry Ann
No one can accuse Lacey of being naive or going into her relationship blind. That’s for damn sure.
“Yeah, but you’re not really doing that all for me, are you?”
Lacey averts her gaze. She may be hurt and angry at Adam right now, but she doesn’t want him arrested again.
“No, not just for you,” she whispers.
I poke her. “Double agent.”
She lets her lips curve up in a tiny, hesitant smile. “Well, we are who we surround ourselves with.”
“Touché, Lacey. Touché.”
Silence hangs.
“What you did to me was really shitty, Derek. You shouldn’t have gotten so close to me,” Lacey whispers in a pained voice, dropping her gaze to her knees and placing one hand over her stomach again. Now I really home in on that.
“I know,” I reply, voice distant. “Sorry, I have to ask. Lacey, are you pregnant?”
Her neck snaps up, eyes extremely wide. She stays like that a moment before those intense grey eyes fill with water.
“Oh my God.”
That’s all she says before she starts to hyperventilate.
“Woah, woah, woah.” I grab her hands. “Look at me, Lacey. Hey, no. Don’t go anywhere. Stay here. Talk to me.”
“I… I found out recently. I’ve been so much more emotional. It makes sense. I… I can’t even talk to Adam through this, and…” She laughs bitterly. “And now I’m talking to an ex-friend. Someone I really should be friends with, but is FBI and I chose my allegiance a long time ago. To people who have hurt me before, and apparently, I have no problem doing it again to a young girl just like I was. Now I… I’m all alone. Oh my God. How am I gonna love this baby the right way?”
She collapses into the bench and I feel my heart go with her.
“No matter what ‘team’ we are on, I will always be your friend, Lacey. If you’ll still have my friendship of course, that is. I’m seriously always here for you. I meant what I said; your friendship wasn’t fake to me. Not at all. As for your husband,” I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “This is off the record, alright, girly? As for him, he loves you, Lacey. So much. Iris, I think he regretted doing that the second he did it. I’m not saying this because I think he was right. What he did makes me sick. I’m saying this to help you. He regretted taking her because of you. He didn’t know what to do. It was the first time I’ve seen him look lost.”
“I just… that’s the one hard limit I have in our relationship. I’ve forgiven so much.”
Her nose reddens and her cheeks become blotchy as snot and tears roll down her cheeks.
“I’ve forgiven everything. How could he do that? Does he not care about how I feel?”
I’ve never seen Lacey be so vulnerable.
“He does, Lacey,” I whisper. “I think he just got scared.”
“Scared?”
“Yeah.”
This is kind of a lie. Honestly, I’m about to wing the rest of this, and I’m about to grant Adam a bullshit happy ending he doesn’t really deserve for the sake of Lacey’s happiness and sanity.
“Scared of what ended up happening, happening. Frances filled his head with shit. He just got freaked. There was regret in his eyes the second he took her.”
“But he didn’t just take her. He hurt her.”
“Well, Frances did.”
She glares at me. “Nothing happens without his say-so. At minimum, not without him knowing about it.”
Yeah, true. “I think you should forgive him.”
For some reason, Lacey starts giggling at that. “I love that you’re willing to betray what you believe in, because you’re so scared I’ll be unhappy.”
I smirk, and laugh softly, but say nothing.
“It’s okay, buddy. I’ll be okay. Adam and I have gotten this far. I’ll literally end him if he does what he did to Iris again, but…” She bites her lip, “Am I going to hell for truly thinking it was a mistake?”
She winces.
“A mistake?” She scoffs. “No, he could have ruined her life. I just… I have to work this out in my head. I’ll be fine. Speaking of Iris,” Lacey lets out a mischievous little smirk, “I couldn’t help but notice a little chemistry there.”
“What, are you a matchmaker now? First Cut and Maria. Now me and Iris.” Lacey looks up at me with a smirk. “Well, is there a couple to be had?”
“Ha ha, touché. Maybe. I miss her.”
Lacey lights up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, Lacey. There’s something about her I don’t want to lose.”
“Then don’t lose it,” she replies instantly.
“Hm. I guess it can be that easy, huh?” “Easy? Heck no. Worth it? Yes.”
“I miss you.”
She’s quiet for a second, then her eyes firm. She extends a fist.“Fuck teams. Friends no matter what?”
“Did you just say fuck?”
“It’s been known to happen.” I bump her fist. “Fuck ‘em. Always, Lacey.”
She smiles and hugs me. Rare for her. When she lets go, she smiles down at her belly.
“Good, because you’re gonna be this little guy’s godfather.”
Godfather? “Yeah, I’m sure Adam will be thrilled about that. And boy? It’s a boy? You know already?”
“First, I’d love to see him fight me on it right now. Two, not technically, but a mommy knows these things.”
I smile at the little warrior in front of me.
“I have no doubt you know already.”
She smiles. “Thank you, Derek. I feel… better. I forgive you.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding since I arrested Lacey’s husband and the gang. “Thank you, Lacey. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” “I do,” she teases, fiddling with my hair and standing. “I’ll contact you about my next dinner soon.”
“That’ll be interesting.”
She bites her lip. “Yep. Oh well, not my fault you all are crazy.”
“No, definitely not.”
Lacey kicks dirt. “I’ve always wanted to know what Texas is like.”
That mischievous glint in her eye comes back.
“So when I text you, I’ll put you in charge of having Iris meet with me, at a separate location, of course. If she wants.”
“Get out of here, you nut.”
“Bye bye.”
She waves over her shoulder and runs off. I smile as she exits. When she’s gone, I pull out my cell phone, scrolling for the number I pre-programmed in my phone. It’s time to get my girl.
In an ideal romantic world, I’d get a hold of her on the first ring, but it rings like twenty times, and right as it gets ready to go to voicemail, a hurried country voice answers.
“Darn it, sorry. Who’s this? My foot got caught in a dumb blanket and I fell flat on my ass. Sorry I answered so late… and that I’m still talkin’,” she mumbles, embarrassed. “Anyway, who’s this?”“Hi, Iris,” I say with a big ol’ smile. “It’s Derek.”
Iris
“King? It’s Iris. Can I come in?”
I don’t know why I’m going to Kingston first about this. I must be going crazy, but it felt right, so I’m goin’ with it.
“Come on in, Iris.”
I push the shed door open. Jay, Hunter, and King are all there along with a face I’ve seen around town, but don’t know. The air is tense. I suddenly feel like I’ve interrupted something important.
“I can come back,” I whisper, pointing my thumb in all directions.
“Nah, you never ask to see me when I’m in the shed. You must need to talk.”
I nod a little. “Uh, well-well I ain’t dyin’ or anythin’. I just, uh…”
I glance at all the faces watching me. Jay stands.
“Jesus, dudes. Quit making the girl feel like an intruder.”
Jay wraps an arm around me. “Want Hunt and I to stay?”
“Uh, ca-can you wait outside for a sec-second? I’ll be fast. I ne-need to talk t
o you, too.”
“Hey, stop stutterin’, Nemo,” he whispers. “No one’s mad, kid.”“Okay,” I smile. Jay turns, face becoming serious. He cocks his head, gesturing for everyone to leave. Everyone files out but King.
King stands and paces the back, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What’s up, sis?”
“Can you try not to do that?”
“Do what?” “Make me all nervous and stuff.”
He freezes. “Am I?” My fingers twist together. “King, you can be scary.”
“I’m sorry, Iris. The last thing I want to do is make you nervous.” He looks upset by this. “What do you need?”
He’s failin’ at the “not makin’ me nervous” thing, but I know he’s tryin’. I guess that helps.
“I’m leavin’ for a bit. I need… I need your, like, blessin’.”
He frowns. “Again? Iris, I know you lied about where you went last time. You came back hurt. I’m not doing that again.”
“I…” He glares at me. “Yeah, I-I lied. I’m sorry. I had to.”
I look away.
“Why? Where were you? What happened?”
I try to breathe. “It’s my secret. I-I have no secrets, being your sister. I get one. This is it.”
He grits his teeth, but tries to understand. “Just admit you weren’t mugged.”
“I wasn’t mugged,” I whisper.
“And it had to do with Car, right?”
My eyes widen. “I—”
“Iris, stop. I know what happened to Carson. You should have come to me.”
“I did!” I yell. “I did, Kingston, and you told me not to worry. Just like you told me you didn’t hurt Wes!” “Are you kiddin’ me, Iris?” King shouts. “That dick deserved worse than he got.”
“NOT THE POINT! It’s not about what he deserved. It’s about what I deserve! I asked somethin’ of you. Somethin’ that was important to me during a very hard time, and you didn’t listen! You wrote me off ‘cause I’m nice and you didn’t agree with my point of view. I just have different morals, it doesn’t make them wrong or dumb.”King stares at me for a long time, not sayin’ anything. “You’re really mad about this? The man did the most low-life thing. ‘Man’ is a loose term for what he is,” King mutters.
“It’s not about him!” I shriek. “I keep tryin’ to tell everyone that. It’s not about him! It’s about me. You guys don’t get it. I asked you to respect my wishes. I was hurt and didn’t want to feel as low as him. I didn’t want to feel regret for how I handled it all. You took that from me. It’s. Not. About. Him… or what he did.”
King doesn’t say anything. His gaze slowly shifts from my eyes to the floor.
“You’re right.” He meets my eyes fully. “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
My jaw falls open. I’ve never heard Kingston apologize for anything.
“I-I… Th-thank you.”
He nods. “You’re a better person than me. I can’t understand how you’d forgive him.”“See, you don’t get it. It’s not for him, it’s for me. He hurt me and I didn’t want to be angry on top of it.”
He shakes his head, almost smiling. “I couldn’t do it.”
I smile fully. “I’m better at something than the great Kingston Shelby,” I tease.
He becomes serious, staring at me with furrowed eyebrows.
“Iris you are and always will be a much better person than me.”
My cheeks heat. “No, I’m-I’m just me. Kinda naive and all, but I try to be nice. You protect everybody. You’re always strong. I wish I was more like that. I’m kind of a bumblin’ idiot most times.”
King’s face softens in a rare show of emotion. He approaches me slowly and grips my shoulders in his strong hands.
“You are amazing, and I love you very much. Remember, with strength comes awareness. And with awareness, Iris, sometimes comes sin. Stay how you are.”
I smile, but it falls. “What happened to Carson, King?”
He sighs and steps back, pain filling his expression. “It’s my fault.”
“I-I don’t understand.”
“I’m not a good man, Iris. I want to be for you, but I’ve long since accepted I’m not. I got involved in somethin’ Carson didn’t understand. I didn’t know he was going to handle a certain situation until he was already gone.”
A tear slips from King’s cheek. It makes me freeze. I’ve literally never seen King cry. Come to think of it, I’ve never even seen him express sadness. He always just leaves. We didn’t see King for weeks after Carson’s death.
“Literally. I hate myself,” he chokes. “Oh, Kingston.”
I throw my arms around my older, ever-strong brother, and hold him tight. We both cry. Cry for our loss. For our pain, and most importantly, for our brother.
When I let go, he looks down at me, ‘cause he’s so much taller.
“If you tell anyone I cried…”
“I won’t. Just Blythe.” “Fantastic,” he mutters dryly. “So, it’s Derek, right?”
I smile. “How’d you know?”
He rolls his eyes. “I have eyes. You glow when it has to do with him. You came in here glowin’. It dawned on me as we were talkin’.”
“He asked me to come visit!” I scream, giddy.
King gives a rare smile. “Well, get the rest of your brothers in here and tell ‘em.”
I jump on my toes. “You think this is a good idea? Really? Oh my gosh, that means he’s not messin’ with me. Ahhh!”
He covers his ears to block my girlish scream. “Jesus, Iris,” he grumbles. “No, he’s not messin’ with you. I think he likes you. Go get ‘im.”
I close my lips, trying not to scream again.
“Wait for Blythe,” King mumbles when he catches the motion.
“Jay! Hunter!” I yell, running for the door.
King grips my shoulder, pulling me back for a second. “I love seeing you smile, Iris.”
“I can’t wait to see you smile one day, King.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
I shake my head. “Blythe and I have a bet going about how long it’ll take ya to get a girl.” I punch his side and wink.
He blanks.
My bags are packed. My things are put away. I’m ready. This trip doesn’t have an end date. Derek said I could stay as long as I wanted. Perk of farm life is that we live simple and this is my job. King and Hunt and Jay make enough doing whatever it is they do to pick up the slack for me.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me again!” Blythe whines. I look at my cheeky best friend, dressed in a floor-length, striped, black and yellow dress, covered in a leather jacket, paired with the perfect amount of too much jewelry.
“You’ll live,” King states flatly.
Blythe flips him off, making Mama gasp and the rest of the guys laugh. “What if I just pester you instead, assface?”
“Assface, really? Are you ten?” “You’re just jealous.”
“Yes. I couldn’t be more jealous of your lack of vocabulary.”
I watch them with a curious look, Derek’s words coming back to the surface. Could it be? Really? Blythe and Kingston? I can’t see it. They are total and complete 100% opposites. But opposites attract. No. Way. What I didn’t tell Kingston the other day is that Blythe never bet on King finding love. She always avoids it. OMG! “Go on then, Kingston. Think of something better to call me.”
“Okay, Blythe,” Mama jumps in. “Language. And Kingston, you better not.”
“Sorry, Mama Shelby,” Blythe mutters, clearly not really sorry.
“I’m mature,” Kingston states flatly. “You’re my sister’s best friend. I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, you’re sooo much better.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Okay, B,” I giggle. “Let’s reign it in.”
Jay and Hunter snicker. Even Pap does a bit. “I love you guys,” I whisper, eyes watering. “We love you, Janie.” Pap’s other nickname for me.
>
“Sorry to interrupt. I need to see…”
Wes goes quiet when he sees us all standing there. I made the mistake of leaving the front door open. My world spins into a narrow focus as I take in Wes’s cowboy boots, wrinkled tan skin, shaggy brown hair. I never talk to Wes. He makes me feel small. I literally feel like my legs might give out.
“Oh, Iris, I didn’t know you were in town again.”
He looks down at my bags.
“I guess not for long.”
“What-what ar-are…” I can’t finish. My words won’t leave my mouth. Jay and Mama come over to offer support, but Blythe does it in her own way. She explodes.
“Listen here, ASSHOLE FUCKFACE! I don’t know why you are at the Shelby’s, but you are not welcome here, you lying sack of shit in cow dung—”
“Blythe?” King calls.
“You leave right now! RIGHT. NOW.”
“Blythe,” King repeats.
When she continues, he grips her shoulders and pulls her back, letting Pap take over.
“I’m pretty sure Blythe said it all,” Pap says in a stern voice, “but in case it wasn’t clear—”
“I want to talk to him,” I whisper. It’s time. Way past time. I don’t know if I can do it, but I have to try. If I’m gonna move on with Derek, if I’m gonna face my fear and try that, I have to get over whatever this thing with Wes was. I have to.
“You sure, Iris?” Jay asks. King’s jaw twitches.
I nod wordlessly, even though I’m not sure I’m even gonna be able to talk. The suppressed smirk on Wes’s face says the same thing. He’s smart enough not to make fun of me here, though, because I’m pretty sure King would beat him to the ground and then Hunter and Pap would finish him off while Jay held me back.No lie.
“If you need us, we’re in the other room, sweetheart,” Mama says as she ushers all the men out. Men who definitely do not want to leave. Mama’s in charge, though, and they all know it. I wanna be more like her. No one listens to me.
Hunter finagles his way out of the exiting crowd and comes up to me. He slips something in my hand with a tight jaw. I close my fist around it and watch them all leave, avoiding Wes for as long as I can. I don’t think I can do this. When they’re all gone, I slowly peel my fingers open.
