I Am Satan (Hellbound Trilogy Book 2)

by Tim Hawken

  “What now?’ I whispered to her softly once more, but this time it was with hope.

  “We bring down the walls of Purgatory and we go back to Hell, together.”

  FIFTEEN

  CHARLOTTE AND I DRESSED QUICKLY. We had lingered long enough together. It was now time to do what I had set out to achieve.

  Hand in hand we left her building. Lotte’s footsteps were light and happy beside mine. She walked quickly, leading me without faltering toward Zoroaster’s. My purpose was now hers as well.

  People nodded hellos to us as we passed. Lotte answered them politely, but did not pause to talk. Children waved to us from across the street. The twinkling of their spirits shone outward to meet me.

  I should have been happy. I should have been content. But I was not. A heaviness had crept into me that I couldn’t explain. I was reunited with my wife and soon we would be one step closer to creating a balance in the universe, but as we passed through the people of Purgatory my soul grew darker and darker. I thought of Mary. Charlotte knew what had happened with her. Was that why I was feeling this way?

  Lotte was almost skipping next to me. I looked at her and she grinned back. Her smile helped buoy my sinking spirits. We were one again.

  I spotted the daffodil house near Zoroaster’s and knew we had arrived. I stopped at the foot of his stairs. Charlotte tugged at my hand as she started to go up. She turned back down to me.

  “What are you waiting for, Michael?” she asked, frowning.

  “I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Come on!”

  Lotte pulled my hand again and I followed her into Zoroaster’s. He was sitting on his cushions talking with Mary who sat opposite, as if they hadn’t moved since I’d left. Their conversation paused as we entered.

  “Michael!” Mary said. Her initial smile turned quickly to a frown when she saw who I was with. She stood up and held out her hand. “And you must be Charlotte.”

  “Yes, Mary,” she responded flatly. “Michael has told me all about you.” Charlotte left Mary’s hand hanging in the air. Mary held it there for a few moments before letting it drop uncomfortably.

  “Oh,” Mary said.

  “So,” Zoroaster interrupted the tension. “You are together again at last. Is all well with you both?” He looked from me to Charlotte and back again.

  “Yes,” I nodded. “Lotte knows the truth of why we’re here.”

  “And I’m willing to fight,” she added next to me.

  Zoroaster nodded, smiling. He searched me up and down again with his eyes and clapped his hands together at his chest.

  “Fantastic! I can see you hold no secrets from each other. It is a wonderful thing to see.”

  “Does that mean you’re ready?” Mary asked coldly, from beside him. “Are you ready to continue our mission, no matter what it takes?”

  “I am,” Lotte said defiantly.

  “Good.” Mary folded her arms across her chest. “Then we should make our way back to the gates of Hell so they can be destroyed. Are you ready, Zoroaster?”

  “We will need some preparation first,” he said, turning to me. “But are you ready, Michael? Are you intent on this plan?”

  The heaviness in my heart crept toward a true realization of what it was I must do. The epiphany crushed my personal desire. I had come this far to recover Charlotte, yet when I looked at her, I understood I could not take her with me to the Fires of Guilt that plagued the souls of Damnation. It wasn’t right.

  “No,” I said, clutching my fists at my sides and looking to my wife. “We cannot do it. It isn’t right.”

  “What are you talking about?” Mary asked, halting her walk toward the exit.

  “We’re not going to bring down the barriers of Hell,” I answered, not taking my eyes off Charlotte. “We’re going to break the walls of Heaven instead.”

  SIXTEEN

  LOTTE LOOKED SHOCKED AT WHAT I’D JUST SAID. She clasped my arm at the elbow tightly.

  “What are you saying, Michael?” she gasped. “What do you mean we’re going to break the gates of Heaven? We cannot. We only have the keys to Hell.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I told her, shaking my head. “We don’t want to turn the lock; we just need to block the flow of the filter. The keys we have will do the same for either gate. Am I right, Zoroaster?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “You are both right and just.”

  I could hear Mary shuffle uncertainly near the door, but didn’t look in her direction. I only had eyes for my wife.

  “I don’t understand,” Lotte said, panic starting to creep into her voice. “What about the plan? I thought we were going to build an army against Asmodeus? What are you going to do?”

  “He is going to sacrifice the one thing he loves more than anything else for a greater purpose,” Zoroaster said serenely.

  “What?” Mary and Charlotte asked together.

  I looked to Zoroaster. For once he wasn’t smiling. He face was set in stone. His brown eyes were filled with both remorse and respect. He tipped his head to me.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “It will work. I will keep her safe.”

  “What are you talking about?” Mary asked again, stepping forward.

  “What’s going on?” Lotte added, frantically.

  I turned to Charlotte, taking both of her hands in mine. My mind was made up. I finally understood. Her questioning look almost made me pause, but I knew what I had to do.

  “We’re going to leave the barrier to Hell standing for now and give the souls here their dream of entering Heaven. The people in Purgatory do not belong in Hell,” I explained. “They do not deserve the burden of the fires. They deserve the peace of Heaven. Children, teenagers, people like Dante: none of them should have to feel The Guilt that we feel down there. The pure at heart should be embraced in eternity. As much as I don’t believe in the goodness of Asmodeus, I know that Heaven is a better place for these souls. It is a better place for them. It is a better place for you.”

  “No,” Charlotte said, shaking her head, tears welling in her eyes, her chin trembling. “I cannot leave you again. I won’t. What about Asmodeus? It’s not safe for me there.”

  “It is safer than you think.” Zoroaster stepped forward. “God cannot be seen to harm anyone who is not openly against him. His kingdom is built on pillars of faith and love. Should he do anything violent to you, it would shake those pillars. His kingdom could come crashing down. He would not risk attacking you without just cause in his safest of havens.”

  Lotte broke down. She dropped to her knees at my feet. “No! Please Michael, no,” she cried. “I want to come with you. Why can’t I come?”

  I looked down at her. My heart was splitting in two. Every element inside me wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that I’d never leave her ever, that we could stay together forever and no harm would come to her ever again. But this wasn’t just about us; this was the right thing to do. It felt horrible, as if I was strangling my own soul.

  I sat down next to Lotte, putting my arms around her. I held her close and put my lips next to her ear.

  “I’m sorry Lotte,” I whispered. “This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it’s what I must do. Your soul is pure. Once the walls come down, you’ll be taken to Heaven because you have committed no sins to forgive. You don’t belong in Purgatory and you don’t deserve to be damned. You don’t know Hell. You don’t ever want to go there.”

  “Hell is being without you,” she said, staring ahead, avoiding my eyes. Her words were like a dagger in my heart, but I continued.

  “I promise we will be together again,” I whispered, pulling her close. “I will come to get you when the time is right. The realm of Hell will no longer exist one day soon and the obstacles separating our love will be gone. We can live in peace one day, but for now I need you to be strong for me. I need you to be the pure soul that I love.”

  Lotte shook in silent sobs in my arms.

 
“This has to be done, Charlotte. It would be selfish of us to drag the rest of Purgatory into the fires because of our love for each other. Do you understand that? Do you understand why it has to be this way?”

  Lotte’s crying subsided. She nodded her head slowly. I squeezed her hard again and kissed her on the head. She looked up to me, her blue eyes almost melting my resolve to continue.

  “Zoroaster,” I said, tearing my gaze away from my love to look up at him. “How quickly can we get out to the gates? How quickly can we be ready to do this?”

  “We can leave now,” he responded. “I suggest we do not delay. The moment is with us. You will have my help. We can prepare as we move.”

  “No!” Charlotte whimpered next to me. “Why so soon? Can’t you stay a little longer?”

  “I wish we could,” I said, holding her tight against me again. “We cannot risk Asmodeus finding out our plan. We’ve been here almost too long already.”

  “Can I come with you? I want to help,” she asked pleadingly.

  “It is best you do not,” Zoroaster interrupted. “We are bringing down the sky. You will be safer in the city, Charlotte. Wait for me here and I will come back for you. We can then lead the souls of Purgatory up into Paradise together. We can look Asmodeus in the eye and show him the truth in our souls.”

  Charlotte dropped her head in silence. I reached out tenderly and tipped her chin back up so she was facing me.

  “I need to go now my love,” I said. “Before I do, can you promise me something?”

  “Anything,” she said, holding my gaze.

  “Promise that you’ll wait for me. Promise you’ll stay safe in Heaven with Zoroaster. Promise you’ll stay true to our cause no matter how hard it might be.”

  “I promise,” she said softly. “I love you.”

  She leaned in and kissed me. Our lips touched softly. I closed my eyes and felt a tear slide down my face. I forced myself to pull away.

  “You’re the reason why the universe will one day be free,” I told her. “You’re the reason why I can do what I must.”

  She smiled at me sadly. All of our tears had been shed. It was time to go. I stood up, helping Charlotte to her feet. I hugged her one final time and then gripped her hands.

  “I will see you again,” I said. “We will succeed.”

  Reluctantly I let our fingers slip apart. I turned for the exit and Lotte dropped again to her knees. Willing myself not to go back to her, I pushed past Mary and opened the door trying not to look back. Every step was a struggle against my soul.

  Zoroaster came beside me and rested his hands on my shoulder as I lingered in the doorway.

  “This is the right thing,” he said.

  “Then why does it feel so wrong?” I whispered.

  I turned to around to Charlotte one last time. She was on the floor, with her head in her hands. Mary looked at me and then turned back. She walked to Lotte and carefully knelt at her side. She touched Lotte’s back lightly.

  “I promise you Charlotte, with every ounce of truth in my heart,” she said to her with fire in her eyes, “Michael will remain yours as long as my soul lives. Despite what you think you know about me, I can see the true love between you and I respect it. I will do nothing to get in the way of that. I hope you understand. You have my word.”

  Lotte looked up from her to me and then back to Mary.

  “Thank you,” she whispered to her.

  Mary draped her arms around Charlotte and kissed her on the cheek. She whispered a goodbye in her ear. Zoroaster helped push me out the door. The pain of the moment threatened to consume me.

  “We head back for The Reaches,” he said as he guided me down the front steps. “The gates of Heaven are directly above the center where you came in from Hell.”

  I heard Mary shut the door as she came out of Zoroaster’s house.

  “Charlotte said she will wait for you here,” she said to Zoroaster as she joined us. “She understands,” Mary added.

  I wasn’t sure if the last sentence was for me or Zoroaster. My heart was a bleeding piece of lead.

  “Then let us go,” said Zoroaster. “It is time to bring Heaven to the middle realm.”

  SEVENTEEN

  WE STOOD ON THE STEPS of Zoroaster’s house. He looked up to the sky and began to move his hands in front of him, like a conductor of an orchestra. Through my misery I could feel a rush of elements moving about us. As Zoroaster conducted his silent symphony, a cloud of blue began to gather at our feet. It became firmer beneath us as the blue darkened to a navy hue. We rose off the ground. I looked down with an elemental view to see how the cloud was made. It was an exceptional weave of molecules that I’d never seen before: here was air, liquid and earth, all spun into a moving blanket of atoms. It was a self-sustaining creation, almost living. I understood the genius of it immediately. By creating something that had its own perpetual source of power, there was no need to concentrate on holding it together. Zoroaster could now save his energy and focus on something else. We started to rise further into the air. The street dropped beneath us as we floated upward, above the buildings of Purgatory.

  I looked back up to Zoroaster in grim wonder. Charlotte was still heavy on my mind. I had done nothing but seek her since I died. Now I was letting her go. It was unthinkable. Despite my personal desolation, I had to maintain my wits. We were heading to fulfil a destiny which was bigger than any individual. I did my best to push Lotte to the back of my mind.

  “Please sit,” Zoroaster instructed calmly.

  Mary and I crouched down onto our magic carpet. Zoroaster sat at the edge of the cloud and faced toward The Far Reaches.

  “Forward,” he commanded, throwing his hand in front of him. A gust of wind pushed behind us and we were propelled ahead. As we sped to our destination, Zoroaster turned back to us. The misty clouds zipped past our heads as he spoke.

  “This will take all of our wills combined,” he said. “We will be at the gates within the hour. Once we get there, Michael and I will need to build a blockade around the edges of the energy filter. The city must be protected from the fallout of destruction. If I’m right, the eternity of Heaven will rush in to meet us once the walls break. The vacuum will send you both crashing into Hell and rain new complexity onto the surface of the meadow below. This means we must build a wall right around the perimeter of The Reaches. Once we’ve built a sufficient dam, then I will hold it as best I can. If I can contain the surge of power from Heaven for a few moments, it will give you time to prepare yourselves for the fall. Mary, you will have to push the key into place when we’re ready. Michael, once the flow of the filter starts to back up, it will slowly harden. Cracks should start to appear. It will be your job to drive whatever you can into those cracks and split them further. Once we get it to a certain point, there will be no turning back. Are you ready for this? Really ready?”

  I nodded my head in determination. Mary voiced her assent as well.

  “Good,” Zoroaster said. “There will be no room for error. Now, first we need to prepare the keys. Michael, do you have them?”

  I reached into my pocket silently and found the cool metal with my fingers. Drawing them out, I handed them to him carefully. He took the keys from me and pressed his palms together flat over them, as though he was praying. He held his arms out straight so his fingertips were almost touching my chest.

  “Place your hands vertically over mine,” he said, “so we are forming a cross.”

  I reached out and pressed my palms on either side of his, my fingers pointing to the sky, his at my chest.

  “Now,” he said, “when you feel the heat of love in my hands, I want you to focus hate inside them.”

  “Hate?” I asked.

  “Please. Do as I ask. A balanced bond of love and hate should meld these keys together enough to hold the pressure of the barrier’s flow. It will be close to impossible to replicate the true God elements that make up the keys, but we can at least make something that will withstan
d the torrent of atoms it needs to. We have to make sure we lock the keys together as firmly as possible. If we work together we can do it.”

  I opened my mouth to question him, but Zoroaster closed his eyes.

  “Hate,” he said. “Every grudge you hold against Asmodeus rolled into one. It must be pure.”

  I felt him push his palms harder into each other beneath mine. He began to hum. Golden light and warmth started to grow into my hands. I closed my eyes and pictured Asmodeus. I could see his malevolent sneer in my mind. I despised him with everything I had. My blood curdled to acid in my veins. Cold enveloped my heart. I drew the darkness inside and pushed it out of me. My arms began to shake as I channelled the rage into Zoroaster’s hands. The deathly cold of hate flowed out of me. My teeth were grinding with effort. The iciness of my hands shadowed the warmth of Zoroaster’s. His humming grew louder, but the pulse of the angry heart in my ears drowned it out. I was grunting with effort. My throat was on fire and my arms were a blizzard of loathing. A knot of hate elements sliced out of me and into Zoroaster. Revenge plagued my being. Just as I felt as if the disgust inside would overwhelm me, Zoroaster pulled his hands from my grip. I snapped my eyes back open, my chest heaving. I looked at Zoroaster who was surrounded by a pink aura of love. I started to rumble a primordial growl.

  Mary reached out to steady me. “That’s enough, Michael!”

  I stared at her angrily. She pulled back, putting her hand over her mouth.

  “Your eyes!”

  “What?” I asked, through gritted teeth.

  “They’re black,” she said, before looking down at my lap. “Oh God, Michael, your hands.”

  I looked down. My fingernails had turned into points and were a dark as night. Red veins thumped over the back of my hands. Every muscle in my body was constricted into a knot of stress.

  “Michael,” I heard Zoroaster’s voice say. “Come back to us.”