Coalescence - SF3

by Meagher, Susan X

  "Hmmm, Jamie’s always threatening to adopt so she doesn’t have to have a kid like me-- maybe she’s right."

  "I wouldn’t have traded you for anything," Conor said sincerely. "You were wild, but you were always a ton of fun."

  "Speaking of fun..." she said as she opened the garage door. Conor stood and stared in amazement at the condition of the Mustang, one of his all-time favorite cars.

  "This car is a masterpiece," he said reverently as he walked all around it.

  "Jamie said you can drive any of them you want," she informed him, unable to suppress a wide grin at the look of delight that sped across his features.

  "I’m not worthy," he moaned, his eyes wide and unfocused.

  Laughing at his reaction, Ryan moved to the next car. "Let’s see what else we have here and then you can drive…if you’re able," she added. He helped her take off the cover of a 1967 electric blue Chevy Malibu Supersport. "Wow!" they said simultaneously.

  "This is soooo hot," Conor muttered. "I think I’m gonna try and hold out for those cousins of Jamie’s. It’s worth the risk."

  "They’re on her mom’s side of the family, so I don’t know if they have the car nut gene," she warned him. "On the other hand, that’s where the dough is, so you could get them hooked on a new habit." She could nearly see the gears turning in his agile mind, and imagined that he was computing the minimum age at which he could make his move on the teenagers.

  Next was a 1970 Pontiac GTO, in a brilliant da-glo orange. "This one is really rare," Conor said, walking around the pristine car. He looked like he wanted to run his hands over the paint, but there was not a smudge on the entire surface, and he didn’t want to leave a mark. "There are tons of Mustangs around but not that many GTO’s were sold. It’s hard to find one in perfect condition like this one." He walked around each car again, stopping to look carefully at each one from every angle. "Can I really drive them?" he asked somewhat tentatively.

  "Jamie assures me that her father wants them driven, and that he wants some carbon burned off the plugs. You up for it?"

  "I’m not sure I can move," he admitted. "These are works of art, Ryan. Are you sure he doesn’t mind?"

  "He left a note asking me to drive them, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind."

  "Then what are we waiting for?" he asked with a glimmer in his eye.

  Ryan let Conor drive each of the cars in the collection. He was truly in his element when he drove a hot car, paying rapt attention to every detail of the experience. Ryan could tell that he was listening to each of the individual elements of the car, gauging their performance as he put each one through its paces, turning them quickly to judge their turning radius, mashing down on the brakes to determine their stopping power. He got each car up well over the speed limit, but she felt perfectly safe because of his dexterity with the machines. He pushed each one, but never past its limit.

  Tooling down U.S. 1 in the GTO, Conor grew pensive. "Do you have a read on Jamie’s parents yet?"

  "Mmm, I’m not sure what you mean." The growl of the engine forced her to raise her voice a little higher than normal.

  "I guess I wonder how they’re going to be about you two." It was clear that Conor was a little worried about his sister, and Ryan sought to reassure him.

  "It’s really hard to tell, Conor," she advised. "There have been some positive signs though. I met her Dad after the ride and he was very friendly. He knows that I’m gay, and he knows that one of the reasons for Jamie’s breakup was because of her relationship with me."

  "Yeah, but he’s a lawyer, Sis, you know they can make you think they’re your friend while they stab you in the back."

  "Hey, Bren is a lawyer, too! He’s not like that!"

  "He’s not the head honcho of a big firm either, Ryan," Conor reminded her.

  She nodded her head at the truth of that statement. "Well, even if he’s being disingenuous, her mom tried to pry the truth out of Jamie, and she didn’t seem upset at the time. Jamie says she knows lots of gay people, so I’m hoping that she’ll be cool."

  Conor gave her a small smile and patted her leg. "I wish this was easier for you, Ryan. It just pisses me off that it has to be an issue at all. You would be such a great addition to any family…" His voice trailed off as he found it difficult to comprehend why anyone would try to subvert the obvious bond between his sister and her partner.

  "Hey, don’t worry about it, Con. No matter what happens, Jamie’s a member of our family now. The worst things the Evans's can do are stop speaking to Jamie or withhold her money. I don’t wish for either of those things to happen, but if they do, it won’t affect the way we feel for each other."

  Conor shot his sister a fond smile. "Jamie’s still a pretty good choice, even with no dough," he admitted.

  "She’s a damn good choice if she were ten million in debt!" Ryan decreed with just a touch of hyperbole.

  When he finished with each of the vintage cars, Conor’s lustful blue eyes lingered over the Acura. "Okay," Ryan said slowly, as she tossed the keys to him. "Here’s the keys, but be very, very careful with this one. We’d have to become Mr. Evans’ personal slaves if you wrecked it."

  His eyes lit up as he snatched the keys out of the air and slid into the black leather seat, almost in the same motion. A deep sigh of pleasure came from his lungs, and Ryan smiled at the look of supreme satisfaction on his handsome face. As he turned over the engine he looked at her dreamily and said, "This is better than sex."

  As the car backed out of the garage Ryan replied, "You, my boyo, have been having sex with the wrong people."

  "Come on, Ryan," he argued. "You love cars nearly as much as I do. Are you telling me that driving this baby didn’t make you hot?"

  For the tenth time that day Ryan blushed deeply, causing Conor to laugh at her embarrassment. "You didn’t do it in the car, did you?" He was having a very good time at her expense, but his teasing was gentle, and sprinkled with a good helping of envy, so Ryan didn’t get angry.

  She paused for a minute, debating whether or not to tell him the whole story. She had always been very open about her sex life, and even though she neither wanted nor needed to talk about her intimate life in detail, she had to admit that she liked having Conor as a confidante. She let a sly smile escape, as she replied, "No, not in the car, but I will admit that we couldn’t wait to get home. We stopped at a motel." She couldn’t stop the adolescent giggle that accompanied her revelation.

  "You know, Ryan," he said as he narrowed his blue eyes at her, "you’re not making me any less jealous by telling me these things. You’ve got a gorgeous, smart, funny, rich girlfriend, who can cook no less, and she’s as hot as a pistol!"

  "It’s all true, Conor," she admitted. "I haven’t been able to find a fault in her yet. I keep waiting for the police to show up and tell me she’s a con woman perpetrating a massive fraud on this naive rich couple, but so far she’s legit."

  "I’ve never been one to pry into your life, Ryan, but I’m telling you now, if you let her get away, I’m going to have you committed!"

  "Not gonna happen, Bro." Her dark hair trailed over her shoulders as she tossed her head confidently. "If we ever split up, it will be her doing. I’m in for life."

  "You’re really sure, aren’t you?" he asked thoughtfully.

  "Absolutely positive. Jamie’s the last woman in my life." The conviction in her voice caused him to offer his little sister a fond smile.

  "I’m happy for you, Ryan. I really am." As he turned to glance at her he noticed the sapphire blue diamond in her ear. "Hey, where’d you get that?" he asked as he pointed to her ear.

  Her hand lifted to touch the jewel. "Little honeymoon present," she informed him with a laugh. "Jamie’s great grandmother willed a pair of diamonds to her. She had never had them set, but when we fell in love she had them put in this setting and she gave them to me on Monday. I didn’t feel right taking them, since they’re a part of her family, so I made her a deal: I’d wear one if she wore one
. We went out yesterday and each got another piercing so we can wear normal earrings too."

  As she turned her head he noticed that she wore both diamonds. "Why do you have both on?"

  "Until the new piercing heals we have to leave a sterile stud in. Jamie wanted to wear a pair of gold ones today, so I’m holding hers for safekeeping."

  "How did you hold up when you got it pierced?" he asked gently, knowing his sister’s propensity for fainting at the sight of needles.

  "I went out like a light," she admitted, laughing at her foible. "I can hear Da now, ‘That’s your punishment for desecrating your body, Siobhán. If the good Lord wanted you to have another hole in your head, he’d have given it to you'," she said in her perfect imitation of her father’s brogue.

  "I don’t know, he might go easy on you since it’s a gift from Jamie. I don’t think she can do any wrong in his eyes."

  "We’ve got to figure out a way to use her to our advantage," Ryan said carefully, blue eyes narrowing in thought. "She might be a good foil for some of our misadventures."

  "Yeah, but where was she when we really needed her? We sure could have used her assistance when I helped you buy your first motorcycle."

  "I can still remember the look on his face when he saw it," Ryan remembered. "I honestly thought I saw steam coming out of his ears," she laughed.

  "Yeah, well, you just got yelled at. I got the ‘If you don’t love your baby sister enough to stop her from spilling her brains on the pavement’ speech."

  "You’ve got to admit he’s a master at the guilt trip," Ryan said fondly.

  "A legend in his own time," Conor agreed with a smile.

  When all of the cars were put to bed with their covers tucked around them securely, they went back into the house. Conor wanted a quick tour and Ryan obliged, but his professional eye told him volumes about the home and the taste of the owners. He walked around the house, noting the craftsmanship of the carpentry and the quality of the fixtures and appliances. "The last house I worked on that was this well appointed was one of the mansions up in Pacific Heights. One of the chairmen of a Silicon Valley software firm paid about three mil for the house and spent another five mil fixing it up. This place isn’t as high tech as his was, but the detail in here is just as amazing."

  Ryan nodded her agreement as they went from room to room. He was truly impressed with the master bath. "These people spend their money on quality stuff," he said. "I really like this Japanese toilet," he said as he indicated the strange commode that Ryan had seen, but not commented on.

  "What’s the deal with this?" she asked.

  "It’s a regular toilet and a bidet all in one. It saves you from having to have separate fixtures, which really comes in handy in older homes where space is at a premium."

  "Oh, I’ve never used a bidet," Ryan said excitedly. "Meet me outside," she instructed. "I’ve gotta try this out."

  Conor laughed at her excitement, but did as he was instructed. Moments later she emerged with a crooked grin on her face, "That was…different," she said slowly.

  "I would imagine they’d take a little while to get used to," he admitted, as he returned her grin.

  They finished their tour in the kitchen. Conor spent a few minutes looking at the butler’s pantry, again marveling at the efficiency of the design. "They spent some bucks hiring a good designer," he said. "In an older home like this you really need to hire someone who knows their stuff."

  "Jamie’s mom is really into the house. I assume it was her pet project to have it done right. And when money is no object, I guess you can take as much time as you need to have it done the way you want it."

  "How do you feel about her money?" he asked seriously. "Has it been hard to get used to?"

  "We’ve just started to work on that," Ryan admitted. "We’re both going to have to give a little bit on the issue."

  "Does it bother Jamie that you don’t have any money?" He was reticent to ask this question, but the thought had been worrying him, so he decided to find out.

  "No, not at all. She has a great attitude about their money. She feels like it’s an accident of birth, rather than anything she’s entitled to. It’s gonna be a big adjustment, since she wants to be able to spend more on me than I’m comfortable with. Like these earrings," she said as an example. "I can’t even imagine how much these are worth. And she bought me some clothes the other day that must have cost a ton. She practically crawled on the counter to stop me from seeing the receipt," she said with a chuckle. "I don’t feel comfortable having her spend lots of money on me, so we’re going to have to work on it to reach an agreement."

  "Well, I understand that it might be tricky to work out, but you’ve got to admit it’s a hell of a problem to have. ‘My rich girlfriend buys me too many nice things,’ next on Jerry Springer."

  Ryan laughed as she admitted that it wasn’t a terrible problem to tackle. "But one neat thing is that we’re going to work together to find a way to distribute a lot of her money to a cause that we both support. We haven’t decided how to do it, but I’m excited about having the opportunity to help other people."

  "I think you two are going to be a force to be reckoned with, Sis," he said admiringly as he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze.

  Part 17

  Jamie arrived in Palo Alto nearly an hour before the graduation was set to begin. She had decided that she would sit alone, not wanting to make the Townsend family uncomfortable. She didn’t know what, if anything, Jack had told them about their breakup, but she wanted to avoid any unpleasant questions. Although they were very nice people, and she knew they would not consciously offend her, she knew that if they knew about Ryan they might feel obligated to say something, and she wasn’t in the mood to discuss her lover with them.

  She strolled around the law school campus, reminiscing about all the good times she and Jack had shared at the school. Passing by the administration building, she recalled going with him for his first registration, when he was nervous about his new adventure. They had only been dating a short while and they hadn’t yet learned much about each other. They stood together in the various lines, her hand resting on his back. Her presence seemed to soothe him, and by the end of the day he was his normal, confident self. That day had done a lot to cause her to fall in love with him. The fact that he was not only willing to share his vulnerability with her, but was also willing to let her help him through it, was completely charming to her.

  She let her mind wander through their three years together. It became clear to her, in retrospect, why she had fallen in love with him. He was so like her father, it was almost eerie. But he was a little bit more emotionally available than her father had been. Perhaps that was only because he was a student, and didn’t have the demands of work that her father had. She suspected that in reality, her father was absent because he needed the space. She knew that he loved her and her mother, but she guessed that he could only handle small amounts of that love at a time. Jack seemed to have a larger capacity for closeness, but he still had a lot of her father’s quiet reserve. She thought that was what made him feel so safe and comfortable, almost from the start.

  Since she had never allowed herself to acknowledge her innate attraction to women, she had never known the power of fierce sexual attraction. Because of this, she had felt that the desire she had for Jack was what everyone felt. She had found a good man who would be a good father; it made sense to snatch him up while he was still available. She had to acknowledge that being with Jack had prevented her from exploring her deep, hidden feelings. She would never have cheated on Jack, no matter how strong the attraction, and the thought occurred to her that perhaps she was subconsciously trying to permanently remove the possibility of succumbing to her latent desires. Perhaps taking the lesbian sexuality class was a sign from her subconscious to burst out of the confines of her safe choice and take a risk. Whatever the reason, she knew it was the best decision that she had ever made.

  Jamie walk
ed past the area where the graduates were lining up, many of them posing for pictures with their families. She thought she spotted Jack’s tall blond head, and as she came closer she saw that her guess was correct. He was standing with his parents and getting ready to pose for some pictures. He looked so handsome in his cap and gown that she felt a small stirring of emotion that took her by surprise. His gown was black, but he wore a cowl of a deep burgundy and white, along with a gold cord that she knew symbolized an honor. She assumed he would receive honors for being editor of the main law review, but he might have merited other commendations that she was unaware of. She felt a pang of loss at not even knowing how his last semester had gone, a sharp pain deep in the pit of her stomach.

  Fighting to control her emotions, she was struck with the thought that she had given herself to this man. She knew now that she had not given of herself totally, but she had not known that at the time. It was deeply painful to watch him move on through his life without her, even though she was so much happier now. There was a part of herself that she had permanently given to Jack; she could never hope to reclaim that part, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to. The things they shared were all in the past now, but they were important to her. She wanted to treasure the good times they had together and mourn the bad ones.

  She wiped the tears from her eyes and decided to go say hello before the ceremony began. Just as she took one step towards him, she saw why they had been waiting to take the pictures. His law review partner, Natalie, approached the group. Jamie watched, transfixed, as Natalie walked up and slid her arms around him and gave him a very, very friendly kiss.

  Jamie stood, unable to move, as Natalie greeted Mr. and Mrs. Townsend. Her legs felt so weak that she nearly collapsed before she could stumble to a bench and collect herself. Every rational thought in her head screamed at her to leave at that moment. But the urge to observe the pair tugged at her like the need to look at a car wreck.