Almost Christmas

by Brooke St. James

  I was so completely out of it that I didn't even have the presence of mind to care how gorgeous the guy was. I didn't even care that he smelled good either. He probably smelled so good because I completely stunk after being in the car with a semi-clean, wet dog for the past four hours.

  "We're stinky," I blurted tiredly as I stared at the gas pump in my hand.

  "I'm Jesse."

  I glanced at him, and our eyes locked for a few seconds. He smiled at me, and I returned it, although mine was shy and fleeting as I looked away.

  "I noticed your plates. Are you from Kentucky?" he asked.

  "Yeah, why?" I responded a little too quickly.

  "Because I hope you're not going far," he said, gesturing to my car, which had a little smoke coming from under the hood. I stared at it, noticing that it was also making a slight hissing sound.

  "I think it got overheated," I said trying to act casual but still feeling anxious about him noticing my Kentucky plates. "I'm relieved it's really smoking, actually. I'm so tired, I thought I was seeing things."

  "I hope you don't have far to go," he repeated, stooping down to set Jack on the ground. "I really don't want to see you drive when you're tired, and I think you're loosing oil. You had some smoke coming out of your tail pipe, too. Have you had it looked at?"

  I let out an instinctual laugh from sheer nerves before glancing at Jesse, who had just stooped down so he could pet Jack again.

  "Do you think I need to?" I asked.

  He gave me one of those manly expressions that said he was wondering if I was serious or not, and then he nodded once he saw that I wasn't joking.

  "You definitely need to get it looked at," he said. "You shouldn't go far with it smoking like this." "How far do you have to go?"

  "To Richmond tonight, but tomorrow I need to make it all the way down to—" I stopped talking because he began shaking his head as he regarded me with a serious expression.

  "What?" I asked.

  "For one thing, you're headed away from Richmond, and second, you really shouldn't drive your car like this."

  I was so tired of being told what to do by a man that before I knew what I was doing, I said, "First, it's none of your business where I'm going, and second…" I hesitated, knowing it was dumb of me to say anything else when I clearly needed advice. "It's probably overheated," I said.

  "You're probably right," he said, "but it's overheated for a reason. Cars don't just overheat. You have to find the reason so you can make it stop happening."

  "It's because I've been driving for like eight or nine hours straight," I said, feeling so exhausted and frustrated that I didn't even care if he knew where I came from. I stared at him like that should explain everything.

  "Your car should be able to make that kind of trip without doing this," he said gesturing to my car as he stood next to it. "How long has it been smoking like this?" He was at least a head taller than me and he took a step closer, causing me to pull back and stare up at him. I gazed into his blue eyes, feeling like the last twelve hours had been a big dream. Heck, it was more like the last year had been a big dream, and it was all culminating in this huge finale of a nightmare with a wet dog and a smoking car and a hot guy standing here to witness me come apart at the seams.

  "About an hour or so," I said. "I don't really know. It could be more like fifteen minutes. I’m exhausted. I was pretty out-of-it on the road. That's why I stopped. I'm glad I did. Did you say I was going away from Richmond?"

  "We were headed toward Roanoke just now," he said. "Richmond's back that way. You need to turn around and go north on 81, you'll see signs." He paused and gave me an earnest expression. "But I really do think you should get your car looked at—especially if you're trying to go any further than Richmond."

  I hung the pump into its place and replaced the gas cap. It was too much. I begged myself not to let it happen, but there was nothing I could do. Tears sprang to my eyes, causing my head, jaw, and neck to ache as exhaustion and helplessness gripped me. I turned my back to Jesse and folded my arms on the edge of the car, resting my head on them.

  "How much does something like this usually cost?" I asked, trying my best to hold it together when all I wanted to do was break down crying.

  "I don't know," he said. "I'm not sure what's wrong. I can take a look if you like, but I'm not a mechanic or anything. I know a little about cars, though, and I'm pretty sure you're losing oil."

  "Can I just go in there and buy some?"

  "That's probably not a bad idea," he said. "But it's not gonna fix your problem… or if it did, it would be temporary."

  I shook my head, not knowing what to say. I felt his hand touch my shoulder, but I was too consumed to care.

  "Will a quart of oil take me through to Richmond, you think?"

  "I don't know," he said.

  I sighed, taking a deep breath in and letting it out again. He kept his hand on my shoulder the whole time. I was still facing the car, but I could see Jack near our feet, looking up at me as if wondering if I was okay. I had done so much crying today that my face was still stiff and painful from it. I giggled at the absurdity of it all.

  "You okay?" he asked.

  "I think I just need some sleep," I said. "I can't think straight right now. I'll get some rest and decide what to do about my car in the morning." I lifted my head up off of my arms so that I could look around. "Is there a Walmart anywhere?"

  "About twenty miles that way, in Lexington. That's probably where you took your wrong turn."

  "Okay, thanks," I said.

  I smiled at him briefly before reaching down to open my door. I knew I should ask him for more specific directions since I didn't have a phone or GPS, but I didn't want to keep him longer than I already had. My plan was to drive fifteen miles in the direction he pointed, and pray I saw a sign for Walmart.

  "Are you all right?" he asked since it was obvious that I had shed a few tears while my head was buried in my arms.

  "Oh, yeah," I said a little too enthusiastically. "I'm just exhausted." I pointed to the interstate before I sat in my car. "Fifteen miles that way?" I asked, gesturing in the direction from which we had just come.

  He nodded. "Are you sure you're gonna be all right?" he asked after Jack jumped in and began getting settled on my lap.

  I looked up at the handsome stranger named Jesse before I closed my door, and for whatever reason, I said, "I really don't know."

  "Do you need some kind of help?"

  "The car kind," I said. "Car help. I need my car to run like a champ and never do weird things like smoke and sizzle."

  "Where are you going?" he asked.

  "Walmart," I said, honestly.

  "I don't think they can help you with this," he said, talking about the car. "I mean, I’m sure they have oil for sale and everything, but they don't have anybody who will come out to your car and help put it in—or tell you what's wrong." He looked at his watch. "Even if there is a service station there, I'm pretty sure they're closed."

  I clearly was not going to tell this guy that I just needed to get to a Walmart so I could sleep in the parking lot. "I'm sure there's a hotel somewhere around there. Plus, it's on my way to Richmond." I paused. "Isn't it?" I added doubtfully, since I honestly couldn’t remember.

  "Yes, it is," he said.

  "Okay, thank you so much," I said in a tone that meant goodbye. I closed my door and started my car, feeling blood rise to my cheeks when smoke began coming out of the cracks in the hood. I glanced at Jesse to find that he was still standing there next to my car. I smiled and waved as if telling him he could go ahead and walk away, but he just kept standing there. He used a knuckle to tap gently on my window, and I rolled it down about six inches, then up two, then down again since I was painfully nervous, delirious and oh so out of it.

  "Yes?" I asked.

  "I'd rather not see you drive tired. I have an extra bedroom if you need somewhere to stay for the night."

  I stared at him, thinking this
must be some kind of joke. I glanced behind him and all around, wondering for the first time if this was all an ambush—a set up by Jeff who was waiting to bust me when I went over to some hot guy's house. I was relatively sure this was a ridiculous assumption, but it was hard to tell since my mind felt scrambled. Jack stood up so that he could put his head out of the window. Jesse reached in to scratch him behind the ears, and Jack responded with a slight whining sound.

  "I'm good," I said. "We're good. I brought a ton of blankets."

  "What's that mean?" Jesse asked.

  "It means we're…" I almost finished my sentence with, "…gonna be comfortable in the cold," but I still couldn’t bear to tell him I was sleeping in my car. I shook my head. "It means I'm gonna bundle up till I get to the hotel."

  I smiled at him. My eyes burned from crying, and I was so exhausted that I could literally barely keep them open. I used a tired smile as an excuse to squint because it was hard to keep my eyes open.

  "I live seven miles from here," he said. "I think you're better off coming with me. I have a friend who works on cars. I can ask him to look at yours. Tomorrow's Sunday and it's almost Christmas, but he might take a look as a favor."

  "Oh no, I don't need a favor," I said, waving my hand at him and shaking my head.

  "What's your name?" he asked.

  "Mae. Mae-Mae. One Mae or two Maes. Either way. Probably just one. Mae. Mae's fine." I paused and smiled at him as I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'm usually a normal person. It's been a rough day—a long day. I'm fine; I'm just exhausted."

  "Do you think you can follow me for seven miles, Mae?" he asked. "Because, if not, we can leave your car here and come back and get it in the morning.

  "Me?" I asked putting a hand to my chest. "Are you asking if I'm okay to drive? I'm not drunk or anything."

  "I know you're not," he said. "But you can hardly keep your eyes open."

  "I'm just squinting because the lights are bright, and they're burning from…" I hesitated. "It's been a long day."

  "That's why I'm telling you to come crash at my house."

  "I couldn’t do that." I said.

  "Why not?"

  "Because I don't know you," I said. I didn't add that he was probably working for my ex-boyfriend.

  "Fine, can I at least follow you to your hotel so I can make sure you get there safely?"

  "That's just as creepy as asking me to go to your house," I said.

  "No, it's not, and asking you to come to my house isn't creepy. You'd know that if you knew me."

  "Well, I don't know you."

  "Well, I don't feel right about letting you take off like this."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I just don't." Jesse leveled me with an expression that said he wanted me to be reasonable and see his good intentions. "Let me just follow you to your hotel to make sure you make it there okay," he said. He glanced at my car, which was steadily smoking and held up a hand in surrender. "I promise I'm a nice guy. You can call the cops if I do anything but make sure you get to your hotel safely."

  It was like this new world outside my hometown was strange and foreign, and there was no way to tell who could or couldn’t be trusted. I felt desperately frustrated with myself for not knowing what to do next. I felt, in that moment, like if there was a cliff in front of me, I might just jump off of it. Blood rose to my cheeks, causing my whole face to turn hot at the sheer hopelessness I felt. There might have been a little unintentional hostility in my tone when I said, "Do you honestly think I'm going to a hotel at ten o'clock at night with a dog sitting in my lap?"

  He tilted his head at me. "I sure hope you are," he said. "I think you need some rest before you get back on the road, and I know your car does."

  Chapter 5

  I sighed as I stared through the crack in my window at this handsome stranger who was standing next to my car. Jesse. I absentmindedly pondered the fact that I had never seen a picture of Jesse James, and I pictured this guy as the notorious outlaw. His dark hair and light eyes sort of made me think he'd be a good Jesse James. I was daydreaming about it when I saw his hand wave in front of my line of vision.

  I pulled back and focused again on his flawless, gorgeous, outlaw, model-looking face. "I'm not staying at a hotel," I said. I had the distinct feeling that I was outside of my own body watching myself, and I knew before I even did it that I was about to say way too much. I was aware of the fact that a whole string of regrettable things was about to come out of my mouth, and I still couldn't stop it from happening.

  I cleared my throat before I said, "I'm leaving Kentucky and not going back. I don't have a phone, and I'm navigating with paper maps. I have fifteen-hundred-dollars to my name and no credit cards. I have no idea how much this smoking engine is going to cost me, so there's that." I paused to sigh, but it was brief, and I spoke again before he could. "No offense, Jesse, I appreciate your concern, but I'm cold, and I'm really not in the mood to sit here and talk to you about what I'm doing next. I don't even know what I'm doing next. I have to trust my auto-pilot here and find a rest stop or a Walmart before I pass out while I'm driving."

  He squinted at me. "Are you planning on sleeping in your car?" he asked.

  "Yes, genius. I'm spending the night at Walmart. There you have it. I said it. It's fine. People do it all the time." It was out of my character to be short-tempered, but I was embarrassed. "Thanks for the directions," I said, with a little wave.

  He just stood there and shook his head. "No."

  "No what?" I asked.

  "No, you're not spending the night in your car. It's cold."

  "I've got tons of blankets," I said. "I planned for this." I blinked a few times to quench the burning sensation in my eyes. I could smell and feel the smoke coming from my engine, and it felt amazing to blink. My eyelids were so heavy that I just peered out of one of them.

  "Look at me, Mae," he said, causing me to open my eyes fully. "Can you make it seven miles?"

  "Of course," I said. "But I'm not going to your house."

  "You don't have a choice. I hate to see you driving tired like this, and I don't feel right about letting you sleep at Walmart. You don't even know how to get there. It's not right off the interstate, and you said you don't have a phone."

  "I don’t."

  "So, how were you gonna find it?" he asked.

  I stared at him. Tears welled in my eyes, and I did nothing to stop it when one or two of them spilled onto my cheeks. I sat there without blinking or wiping them away or anything. "I don't know how I was gonna find it," I said. "I was gonna just head that way, and do my best. If I couldn't find that, I'd find some other place to stop. I can sleep on the side of the road if I have to." I let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry, but don't really see why I owe you an explanation."

  Jesse gave me a pleading expression like it would mean a lot to him if I stopped resisting. "Follow me to my house," he said reasonably. "You don't have to come in. You can sleep in your car in my driveway if you want. It's closer than Walmart, and I can make sure you make it there safely."

  "I seriously can't believe I'm doing this," I said after a long pause.

  "Can you make it seven miles?" he asked.

  "Yes."

  "Flash your high beams at me if you need me to stop."

  I stared blankly at him. "Why are you doing this?" I asked.

  "Because you need me to," he said in a matter of fact tone. "Follow me," he called, turning to jog to the other side of his truck.

  He pulled out, and I did as he said and followed him, feeling so relieved that I met someone kind like him in this moment of desperation.

  It took us almost twenty minutes to get to his house. I knew that because I kept blinking and glancing at the clock as we drove. I vaguely felt like I should have been scared to follow a stranger to his house, but I didn't have the energy to be. I followed his black Toyota Tundra through the woods like the lost lamb I was. I parked right next to it when we pulled up at his house.

&nb
sp; It was a wooded, rural area, and I couldn't see another house from the place where we parked—at least not in the dark. It was a mountainous part of the country, and it appeared as if we were on some sort of ridge. I couldn’t see very well in the dark. The house was a cozy, cottage-looking place—stained wood color with a set of wooden steps leading up to the small porch at his front door. I wanted so badly to go inside his house and get out of this cold.

  Jack stood up on my lap and began wagging his tail and whining like he assumed I'd open the car door. "Shhh," I said. I could see Jesse walking in front of my car, and I barely cracked the window when he came around to my side. "I'm gonna keep as much of this hot air as possible in here," I said, explaining why I only opened it an inch. "But thank you," I added. "This was much easier than trying to find somewhere on my own. I'm sorry I'm so out of it. I didn't mean to be rude or anything. I'll be able to think and decide what to do with my car after I close my eyes for a little while."

  "There's nothing to decide about your car," he said, blowing into his cupped hands, since it was thirty-eight degrees outside. "You have to get it looked at. You can't keep driving it like that—especially if you're making a long trip." He paused. "Where'd you say you were headed?" he asked, wearing an expression like he was genuinely trying to remember if I had told him where I was going.

  I honestly couldn’t remember if I had or not. "Florida," I said, since I was too tired to be anything but honest.

  "Why don't you come in?" he asked. "You can have a shower and a warm bed." He held up his hands in surrender. "I promise I won't look at you or talk to you or touch you."

  "What if I'm a weird-o serial killer?" I asked.

  "You're not."

  "How can you be so sure?"

  "Because you're too tired to mess with all that," he said. "Come on," he said with a flick of his head. "You know I'm right. It's too cold out here." He started walking backward toward his house like he was expecting me to follow, and I did. Jack and I both followed Jesse up the steps to his porch and into his house.

  "Is it okay if he comes in?" I asked. He nodded at me as he turned on the light. I stopped in his entryway and looked around. It was cozy but open with a comfortable L-shaped sofa separating the living room area from the kitchen. There were pillows all over that thing, and I felt a strong urge to walk over to it and collapse for about the next three days. I wanted to go boneless on that couch so badly that I could hardly stop myself from doing it.