Almost Christmas

by Brooke St. James

  I heard two loud barks that startled me and caused Jack to bark and run across the room in the direction from which it came.

  "That's Donna," Jesse said as he crossed the living room. "Is your dog gonna be okay if I let her out of her kennel?"

  "I think so," I said in a daze. "And if not, we can just put him outside or take him back to a gas station."

  I watched as Jesse and Jack went into the kitchen toward Donna's kennel. They disappeared around a corner, but a few seconds later, I saw both dogs bounding through the kitchen and into the living room where they stood in an open area not far from me. Donna was apparently a yellow lab—a beautiful, majestic, full-blooded, clean and tidy, yellow lab with a nice collar and everything. Seeing her next to Jack made me realize what a mangy old mutt he was. He looked wild-eyed as Donna sniffed him thoroughly, and his scraggly, wiry fur made his facial expression even funnier. I smiled at his intense countenance. They seemed to be getting along okay.

  "Do you need me to go get anything out of your car?" Jesse asked, coming back into the living room.

  I was still standing near the entrance, not far from the front door. I shook my head. "I have all I need for the night in this bag," I said, lifting my shoulder to indicate the small duffel that was hanging from it.

  He smiled. "I know you're tired," he said. "Do you want some food or something to drink?"

  I shook my head shyly, staring down. "Thank you, though."

  "How about Jack?"

  "I think he's okay," I said. "I was gonna feed him in the morning."

  "Well, you see where the kitchen is if you change your mind. The bathroom and the spare bedroom are both down that hall. Make yourself at home. I had a busy week, so I'm probably gonna turn in." He gestured toward the hallway on the other side of the house, which I assumed led to his bedroom. "I'm a light sleeper. Just yell if you need anything."

  I nodded and thanked him again. I called Jack with a kissing noise, and he followed me down the hall and to the spare bedroom. Donna came with us, sniffing both of us like crazy as we walked. Not long after we stepped into the room, Jesse let out a loud whistle, and Donna ran out to meet him. Jack crossed to the door, but didn't leave. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I made another light kissing noise, letting him know I wanted him to stay in there with me. He turned and headed toward me, causing me to smile.

  Jesse had a simple guest set-up with a few travel-size bottles of soap and shampoo sitting on the side of the bathtub. I helped myself to them, feeling slightly better for having a thorough washing. There was, however, nothing I could do to wash away the unsettled feeling that plagued me. It hung on me like a heavy weight on my shoulders.

  I don't think I've ever been that tired in my whole life. The whole process was all a big blur. I took a shower, and then I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It barely registered that Jack curled up on the end of the bed near my feet.

  Chapter 6

  I woke up to the sound of whining at who-knows what time. It was one of those experiences of being so tired that I felt like I had been drugged. The whining woke me up, but try as I might, I could not keep my eyes open. I was tingly and zonked. I gained consciousness enough for it to register that the sound was a dog whining, but I couldn’t make myself do anything about it. I rolled over, sandwiching my head between two pillows to block out any sound, and moaning to tell the noise to be quiet.

  I had no idea how long it had been when I woke up again. I was in the middle of having an intense dream, and I woke up feeling startled and breathless. My heart was racing, and I just rolled over and laid there, blinking at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath, and trying to remember where I was.

  Seriously? Did I seriously leave Jeff? Did I seriously pack my car and then drive all day?

  The chain of thoughts caused my head to whip up. I focused on the end of the bed at the dog that was curled up like a furry brown ball. "You still stink," I whispered groggily. I took a whiff in through my nose. "You smell terrible!"

  Jack stretched and then stood up to greet me with his tail wagging. I couldn’t help but smile as I reached out to scratch his head.

  "You smell like poop. Jack," I said. I didn't really care. I didn't mind having a stinky dog to worry about. In spite of all my mixed feelings about him, it was a relief to have him there with me when I woke up. Without him, I would have been one hundred percent alone in this world. I scratched him behind the ears as I pondered that. I was probably part of an small group of people who were completely and totally alone in this world. We're social creatures. Most people at least had one friend or family member somewhere that they stayed connected with. It was an absolute trip when the reality sank in that I had literally no one.

  No one was waiting for me to arrive.

  I could literally find that cliff and jump from it, and no one would even notice.

  That was a scary feeling, which was lessened just a hair by Jack's presence. He stepped closer, and I pulled him in, rubbing his side as he leaned against me. I put my nose next to him and took a whiff. He smelled like a musky mixture of dirt and gas station hand soap—not great, but not like I thought.

  "What smells like poop?" I asked. My head shot up the instant it dawned on me. I searched the floor for a pile of something that reflected the smell in the air. I couldn't see anything right away, so I sat up fully, rolling onto my knees so that I could get a better vantage point of the whole floor. The curtains were drawn, so the lighting in there was dim, but I could clearly see the wood floors and the three small rugs that were on various places on the floor.

  The rug right by the door had a mound on it—a suspicious, poop-looking mound. I took a sharp intake of air into my nose, trying to see if it was what I thought it was without actually getting closer to it. Jack had come to stand on the end of the bed next to me, and I reached out and pushed at him, causing him to jump to the ground.

  "No sir!" I whisper-yelled at him, staring straight at him like he had lost his mind.

  He stood on the ground, staring up at me with an innocent tilt of the head.

  "Is that poop, Jack?" I asked with wide eyes, pointing at the rug by the door.

  Jack didn't answer; he just stared at me, tilting his head the other direction.

  "You better not have pooped on that rug, Jack," I whispered, jumping out of bed to go to the rug. I picked up the front of my shirt and buried my nose into it as I got closer and the stench hit me. "Awww, Jaaaack!" I moaned, grimacing at him as I flinched. "What in the world are you thiiiinking?" I stood up, burying my face in my hands, and taking back everything I had just thought about being glad I adopted Jack. "You're terrible!" I whispered. I pointed at the rug. "This was a terrible decision, Jack. It would have been so much better to just do it on the wood. It's like two inches over! Why'd you have to do it on a rug? That's disgusting, and now I have to clean this."

  Jack, who probably thought I was saying something like, I love you, you're the best, jumped up, putting his front paws onto my leg and wagging his tail like it was the best day ever.

  "No sir!" I said, nudging my knee at him to get him down.

  I moved the rug over a little bit so that I wouldn't hit the mess when I opened the door. I didn't know what I was going to say when I saw Jesse, but I couldn’t sit in there like nothing had happened when there was a mess to clean. I timidly walked down the hallway and into the living room.

  "Hello?" I called, but the guy from last night was nowhere in sight, and neither was his dog. Jack followed me, and I paid him no attention whatsoever until we made it to the front door and I opened it to let him outside. I told him to go do his business outside and that I didn't care if he came back or not.

  There was a note in an obvious place on the bar, so I walked over to take a closer look.

  Mae,

  I had to help my brother-in-law this morning. I should be back by noon. I will try to get in touch with my mechanic friend while I’m out. You can dig in the kitchen for something to ea
t. Make yourself at home.

  Jesse

  I picked up the piece of paper and turned it over, wondering what in the world type of guy trusted a stranger in his home. I know I probably came across as a crazy person the night before, and I couldn't make sense of why he was so trusting. Obviously, he had been wrong to trust me, because now one of his nice rugs had a huge mess all over it.

  I looked under the kitchen sink and was thankful to find all the cleaning supplies I needed. I took the rug onto the front porch and cleaned it as best I could. Getting the mess from the rug to the bag was the hardest part. It wasn't firm. It had obviously come from a creature who was having a bellyache, and I gaged uncontrollably the whole time I made the transfer. I basically hated that dog by the time I finished—especially since the rug was a light grey and I couldn’t get the brown stain completely off of it.

  "You are the absolute worst," I said, hanging the rug outside in case Jesse wanted to wash it before bringing it in.

  I decided to leave before Jesse got back. I knew his note said not to, but I did it anyway. It was probably the cowardly thing for me to do, but I had already said too much to him, and I knew it was best to take off before I could say anything else.

  I changed clothes and put my hair into a ponytail. I was so mad at Jack that I thought about leaving him when I took off, but I figured that wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to Jesse. I figured I'd find a nice gas station and leave him there. It was a little odd to be planning on dropping him off after all those lovey-dovey thoughts I just had about him, but I couldn't have a broken down car and a diarrhea dog. It was just too much.

  "You're getting out at a gas station," I said to Jack as he followed me from the bedroom into the living room.

  I went to the piece of paper that Jesse had used to write my note, and turned it over so I could jot something down on the other side.

  Jesse,

  Thank you so much for the hospitality. I got a great night's sleep, which was something I didn't expect. It was a welcome surprise, and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry to say that there was a slight doggy accident. I think he tried to tell me he needed to go outside, and I slept through it. Anyway, I left the rug on the front porch. You may want to hose it off or wash it. I think it will come out with a wash, but I am leaving twenty dollars just in case. Sorry if that doesn't cover whatever damage was caused.

  Thanks again for your kindness,

  Mae

  I left the note on the bar. Since I drove off during the day this time, I noticed that there was a body of water close to Jesse's house that looked like a stream or river. I thought I had been able to hear it when we got out of the car the night before, but I didn't ask. In the daylight I could see the neighbor's house in the distance, and I could tell how beautiful my surroundings were.

  My plan was to drive to Lexington and find a mechanic there who could fix my car. I knew I might have to spend a night or two while I waited for someone to get me in, and I was okay with that. I was pretty good with directions, and I tried to pay attention when I was following Jesse the night before, but I still had to stop twice for directions.

  Driving to and around Lexington made me know there was definitely something going on with my car. It had been easier to ignore at night, but now that it was day, I could clearly see the smoke coming from both ends. It was embarrassing.

  I could have easily made an opportunity to ditch Jack, but dropping him off and driving away proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. I left him in my car with blankets while I sat at a coffee shop for the better part of the afternoon.

  I brought a book with me, but my main objective was to meet someone who would let me use their phone. I had already done some research with a phone book and had a list of numbers for people who could possibly work on my car. I figured I would see if any of them were open, and if so, ask them how quickly they could get to my car.

  I didn't feel right about randomly walking up to someone and asking them if I could use their phone, so I started conversation first and eased into asking about borrowing their phone. I did it with two separate people before I finally got a mechanic to answer the phone. The guy told me they could look at my car the next afternoon at four o'clock, and because I had no better options, I took the appointment. I wrote down the address and googled it on the girl's phone before giving it back to her.

  I left the coffee shop not long after I made that appointment. It was cold out, and I was really tempted to get a hotel. I kept justifying it, saying that I would only do it this one time, but I just couldn't let myself. I had no idea how much it would cost to fix my car, so taking a hotel-sized chunk of money out of my budget was simply out of the question.

  I did spend seven dollars on a leash and collar at a pet store. I drove past one of them, and I just couldn't resist. I got Jack a red leash with a red and green plaid collar since it was on sale for Christmas. The colors looked good against his fur, anyway, and I figured they would work for any time of year.

  I changed locations a few times that afternoon, but I didn't like to drive for long periods of time because, the longer the trip, the more my car would overheat and smoke. I had already scoped out the Walmart parking lot earlier that day when I stopped to get a quart of oil for my car, but I didn't park for the night until 9pm.

  I left Jack in the car while I went inside the store to kill a little time. I ended up walking several laps around the store, going down aisles I would never normally go down in an effort to waste time and get myself nice and tired.

  Dreading the cold night made me wonder why I hadn't sought out a homeless shelter while I had that girl's phone earlier. I was too scared to go to a homeless shelter, anyway. The Walmart parking lot seemed like a better option. Actually, I wasn't even sure if homeless shelters accepted people with cars. Maybe a car counted as a home.

  I was thinking about that as I stared at the many different varieties of Sargento's cheese.

  "Mae?" I heard a man's voice say from my right.

  I instinctually knew it was Jeff, and I gasped and jumped back, putting one hand to my chest and the other out protectively as I turned to face him.

  He held his hands up, wearing an expression that said he was sorry he startled me. It wasn't Jeff, but it took my brain and nervous system a few seconds to process that.

  "I'm so sorry I scared you," Jesse said, reaching out to touch me on the shoulder. He pulled back to stare down at me, and I blinked at him, not knowing what to say.

  Chapter 7

  "Heyyy!" I said, smiling and trying to recover after Jesse startled me in the dairy section at Walmart.

  I honestly assumed running into him was a complete coincidence, and I smiled accordingly, but he just stood there and stared at me with a serious expression.

  "I came by two other times today looking for you," he said. "I almost didn't even come back tonight because I assumed you'd already left town." He paused long enough to scan me from head to toe with a curious expression. "What are you doing?" he asked when he noticed I was standing in a grocery store with no buggy or any items to purchase at all.

  "I'm hanging out," I said. I turned to start meandering down the cereal aisle, which was completely deserted. "What are you doing?" I added, still acting a bit like bumping into him was a coincidence. It had been an eventful couple of days, and I had a difficult time processing the fact that a perfectly good and gorgeous young man would be wasting his time on me.

  "Coming to look for you," he said as if that was obvious. "Why'd you leave?"

  "I have somebody scheduled to look at my car tomorrow at four," I said, avoiding his question.

  "Well, my friend would have looked at it for you today. He said we could take it by his house, and he could tell you what was wrong with it."

  I stared down as we walked. I watched the side of his leg and felt drawn to his athletic stride and the way he was built. He was bigger than Jeff and I thought absentmindedly that he would be capable of beating him in a fight if necessary.


  I was in the middle of telling myself that obviously wouldn't be necessary since I would never see Jeff again when Jesse said, "Did you hear me?"

  "What?" I asked.

  "I said my friend is willing to look at your car. I've been friends with him for a long time," he added. "He'll do a better job and make you a better deal than anyone you're gonna find up here.

  I stopped before we got to the end of the cereal aisle and turned to stare at him. His dark hair and lashes framed his striking blue eyes. It was a lethal combination. He had stubble on his jaw and lip that said he hadn't shaved in days, and I caught myself staring at it. It grew heavier under his jaw, but sort of tapered away as it reached his cheeks. I had never liked facial hair before, but he changed my mind. For a few seconds, I just stood there and admired the beauty of his face for the work of art it was. It made no sense to me whatsoever that someone who looked like him would waste his time on a situation like mine.

  "I'm fine," I said. "And I'm not your burden, anyway. I appreciate everything you've done, but I already have an appointment to get my car fixed tomorrow."

  "What if you don't have enough money?" he asked.

  I coughed out a humorless laugh. "Then I guess I go to plan B. I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. All I can do is what I can do."

  "If you were smart, you would take help when someone offers it."

  "I'll be fine, and I'm not your burden," I repeated slowly in a whisper that sounded as uncertain and desperate as I felt.

  I knew he had a grasp on how much I had been struggling because his expression had an edge of empathy and softness to it that said he saw my pain even though I tried to hide it. He gently grabbed me by the shoulders and ducked so that he could stare straight into my eyes. I marveled at the beautiful, multifaceted blue-grey color of his eyes. I had been in my smoking car with a no-so-clean dog all day, and I glanced away shyly, feeling the full weight of my insecurities as this amazing looking man stared at me.