Almost Christmas

by Brooke St. James

  "Look at me for a second, Mae," he said.

  I did, and he regarded me with a sincere expression. "I know this is hard to understand, but it would help me to help you. I can see that you need assistance here, Mae, and it would make me feel better if I was the one to give it to you."

  I hesitated for a few seconds before asking, "Why?"

  "I don't know. Because it helps me to feel like I helped someone," he said, tossing his hands up in a gesture that said what's it matter.

  I took a deep breath. It was a lot to take in. I had never seen or met a man like Jesse before, and it was insane and comical that he crossed my path at such a surreal time in my life. I rolled my eyes in a joking way as if he was really inconveniencing me as I made a groaning noise.

  "I guess I could see your friend about getting a good deal on my car," I said with a sigh. "If it helps you." I smiled after I made the statement to let him know I was joking, and he cracked a little smile to match mine. "Seriously, thank you," I said, as we began wandering toward the front of the store. "I have no way of knowing if a mechanic's telling me the truth or not. So thank you for calling your friend. I'm sorry you had to come all the way over here to tell me that."

  "Three times," he said.

  "Why'd you do that?" I said, smiling and shaking my head as we walked.

  "Because you needed me to," he said. "You can't drive your car like that."

  We had already made it near the front of the store when I stopped walking. He stopped and turned to face me, and I gestured into the store with a thumb over my shoulder. "I need to pick up a few things," I said. I had on a small backpack that I used as a purse, and I took it off and began digging in it for a pen and piece of paper, which I handed to him. "Can you write down your friend's address?" I asked.

  He looked at me like I was crazy. "I'll just take you over there."

  "Right now?" I asked with wide eyes.

  "No," he said, as if that was obvious on account of it being 10pm.

  I shook the notepad. "That's why I need you to write down the address. I'll go by there in the morning."

  "I know, and I'll take you," he said.

  "I'm not sleeping at your house again," I said, since I knew that's what he was getting at.

  He cocked his head at me and narrowed his eyes. "Seriously?" he asked. "You're that stubborn that you're gonna go out there and sleep in the cold when someone's offering you a bed?"

  "It's not stubbornness, I'm just not your burden," I said.

  "Stop saying that," he said. "Don't say that again. You don't know anything about my burdens, and you certainly aren't on the list of them." He shook his head almost imperceptibly as if he was at a loss for words. "I don't know what you're running from or where you're going, but right now, right here in this little moment of your path, you need the help of a stranger. My house is a much better option than out here in the cold, and we both know it. Let me give you a place to stay, Mae, and get you back on the road. You don't have to talk to me after that, but it would make me feel good to do it. I feel like I need to do it."

  I stared to the side and sighed, feeling overwhelmed with relief. "Thank you," I whispered, still unable to look him in the eye. "Did you see your rug?" I asked, making sure that wasn't some heirloom and it wasn't going to be a deal-breaker.

  "Yes, and you didn't have to give me twenty dollars for it. All I have to do is throw it in the washing machine." He paused and glanced over my shoulder and into the store. "Do you need me to go with you, or should I just wait here?"

  "I'm just gonna grab some dog food. I'll only be a second." I was poised to turn and jog to the pet section, but Jesse put out a hand to stop me.

  "Can he just eat Donna's food?" he asked.

  "I guess, if you don't mind."

  "Come on," he said with a flick of his head in the direction of the parking lot. Jack and I followed Jesse to his house. I had the stereo on, but the whole time I drove, I thought about Jesse.

  In my imaginings, he seemed to be some larger-than-life, prince-type character. He was every bit as dashing as someone who would play Prince Charming in a movie. He was the personification of all the desirable hero attributes I had read about in books—handsome, charming, kind, confident, and intelligent. It was flat out too good to be true. This type of guy didn't waste his day looking for some stubborn, stinky, scared girl. Things didn’t add up. I wasn't being negative, I was just being realistic.

  By the time we pulled up at his house, I had thought about it enough that the first thing I said on our way up the steps to his door was, "What's your story?"

  He smiled at me like that was a curious thing to ask. "I'm a computer nerd," he said, surprising the heck out of me. I thought he might say rugged outdoorsman, or firewood chopper, or rock climber, or any number of other things before computer nerd. I gave him a quizzical glance as we walked into his house.

  "My name is Jesse Ward. I started a website for buying and selling precious metals during my freshman year at MIT. I sold it two years ago when I moved back home. I've got some other investments now. I work from home, though, and I do a lot of fishing. I grew up around here. I lived in Boston during college, and then D.C. after that, but I've been back for two years. My parents have a sheep farm, and I help them with it."

  Donna waited for Jesse to stop speaking before she let out two more barks, causing him to cross over to her. I brought in two bags this time, and I set them by the wall near the entrance to the hallway that led to my room. Donna and Jack made a few excited laps around the living room before coming up to me so that Donna could greet me. Jack stood there, wagging his whole backside like he was so proud to introduce us. I smiled at the sight of them as I bent to pat Donna's head.

  It felt so good to just stop being worried or scared, and just stare at a dog for a second. "Dogs are good for that," I said, thinking out loud as I rubbed Donna behind the ears.

  Jack got so excited that he jumped up, resting his paws on Donna's back. She took this as some kind of doggy dare, because she pounced at him, chasing him into the kitchen. I giggled at his wild-eyed, I'm being chased expression.

  "I'm impressed with your story," I said when Jesse came to stand between the living room and kitchen. He stretched lazily before taking off his jacket, and I looked away instinctually. "I don't know anything about precious metals, but I figured you must have a fancy job with a house like this."

  I glanced at him and he shot me a teasing smile. "My big ole two bedroom place?" he asked.

  "Yeah, but it's beautiful," I said. "And is that water out there?" I asked, gesturing to the glass door on the far side of the room.

  "That's the James," he said.

  "The James?"

  He smiled. "The James River."

  "Are you being serious?" I asked.

  He nodded like he didn’t quite know why I was amazed.

  "Jesse James," I said.

  He let out a laugh.

  "That was one of the first things I thought of when you said your name was Jesse last night. I've never seen Jesse James, but I figured you could look like him."

  "You think so?" he asked, rubbing his jaw as we came to stand next to each other in the living room. "I don't know if I see it."

  "I've never seen him," I said.

  He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and typed and some letters, which I assumed was the name Jesse James. He held it in front of me so I could see the images that came up on the screen.

  There were black-and-white pictures of the outlaw along with some other pictures of that guy Sandra Bullock married that one time. I studied the best picture I could find of the outlaw Jesse James and compared it to the Jesse who was standing in front of me.

  "You're way cuter," I said in a matter of fact tone as I handed him his phone.

  "Cuter?" he asked, teasing me and taking his phone from my hand.

  I shrugged. "Handsomer, hotter, manlier, tougher—whatever you want to call it—a more majestic creature than him, for sure."
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  "Majestic, huh?" he asked, puffing his chest a little and making me giggle.

  I pushed at his shoulder. "Don't act like you don’t know what you look like," I said. "That's why I was asking about your story. It doesn't add up that someone like you…" I paused and glanced around, "…isn't married or whatever." I took in the warm, comfortable atmosphere of the living room. The Charlie Brown Christmas tree and other holiday decorations were few, but thoughtfully placed.

  "My mom and sister did all that," he said, watching me take it all in. "They wanted to bring a ten-foot tree in here and deck it all out like the ones they have in their houses, but we compromised on that one."

  "I think it's perfect," I said.

  Chapter 8

  Jesse and I stood in the living room and talked for a little while before I took a shower. He had told me all that about his job, so I felt like I should tell him a little about myself. I told him I had lived in the same northern Kentucky town since I was born and had hardly been past the county line. I shared about how I'd never been to college and instead went to work as a bank teller and then a waitress. I gave him as many details as possible without saying anything specific or personal. I had been there for about an hour when I finally excused myself to take a shower.

  Jack, who had been palling around with Donna the whole time, followed me down the hall to the bedroom we'd slept in the evening before.

  "This is amazing," I whispered to him once we were behind closed doors. "What in the world, Jack? He's so nice!"

  He jumped onto the foot of the bed and then off again like he was so excited he just couldn’t stop himself, and then he stared up at me with that cute, curious expression.

  "You better not do your business in here tonight." I warned, pointing at him with a serious look on my face. "You gotta get your act together. That's something a gas station dog does, not a civilized house dog." I paused and he just tilted his head at me like he always did. "I better take you outside one more time before we go to sleep," I added as I dug through my bag in search of something to wear when I got out of the shower.

  Jesse was sitting on the couch when I came into the living room a half-hour later. He was sprawled out, wearing pajama pants and a broken-in long sleeve thermal shirt. He sat up and got to the edge of his seat like he was about to stand, but I put out a hand to stop him. His shirt showed the curves of his chest, and I glanced downward to avoid staring.

  "I'm gonna let him out one more time," I said. "Just to be safe. Hopefully, that was a one time thing."

  "I'm not worried about it," he said, standing.

  "Don't get up." I began walking toward the front door, and Jack followed along with Donna and Jesse. "Is it okay if she goes out with Jack?" I asked, looking at him.

  He nodded. "She doesn't need a leash," he said. "But I'll come out with you."

  I obviously didn't protest. Jesse Ward was the nicest guy I had ever met in my whole entire life, and all that sweetness came wrapped in a hot-guy package. I would enjoy the dream while it lasted.

  The dogs ran down the steps and darted across the yard while Jesse and I walked onto his front porch.

  "I was thinking," he said, as we came to stand near the edge. "I can help you with your car if you don't have enough to cover it."

  I shook my head and let out a little uncontrollable nervous laugh. "You absolutely can not do that," I said. "I hope you're joking around."

  "I'm not joking, Mae. I want to help. I told you it'd make me feel good to help you. It'd be like my Christmas present."

  "You have no business getting me a Christmas present," I said. "You don't even know—"

  Jesse cut me off by saying, "I meant for me. It would be your Christmas present to me to let me help you."

  I laughed at that, shaking my head at him again. "Thank you, but I have a plan B for the car," I said. "It's really amazing what you're doing for me already. I couldn’t possibly…" I hesitated. "I just wouldn't feel right about putting you out anymore than I already have. But thank you. It's amazing that you'd even—"

  "What's plan B?" he asked.

  "I, uh, I, have someone I can call back in Kentucky. There's someone I can call. He'll help me on a one-time thing. I knew I'd be able to call him if I got in a situation where I didn't have another choice."

  "You do have another choice," Jesse said. "I just told you I'd help you."

  "I know, and you're the craziest kind of nice for saying that, but let's just see how much it costs. I might still be okay with plan A, and if not, I do have a plan B back in Kentucky."

  "So you're saying I'm plan C," he said.

  I laughed, and he turned to face me. He was only a couple feet away, so I was forced to tilt my head up to look at him. In that instant, I felt a new awareness of him. I was drawn to him—drawn to the fact that he was masculine and yet I still wasn't afraid of him. I hadn't been physically attracted to Jeff in years, so the feeling of being drawn to a man left me feeling clumsy and full of nervous butterflies. It was several seconds later when I realized I had been staring at his face and he at mine.

  "Who's plan B, Mae? You married or something?"

  I shook my head. "He's my dad," I said. "At least I think he is. I should be able to call him and get a little money if it comes to it, though—just a one-time thing. I'd definitely rather take his money than yours, but really, you're so kind for offering. And for giving us a place to stay. You really have no idea."

  "Why don't you tell me?" he asked sincerely. "Why don't you tell me what's going on so I have some kind of idea?"

  My heart started beating like crazy and a chill went up my spine, causing me to shiver. "I'm cold," I said, blowing into my cupped hands.

  Jesse whistled, and both dogs came running. He held the door open. "He needs another bath," I said as Jack and Donna came whizzing past us into the house. I went in after the dogs, and I had to pass right next to Jesse in order to get through the doorway. I was acutely aware of his presence.

  "You can give him a bath if you want," he said.

  I was passing right in front of him when he spoke and his deep voice made me jump back. He made an expression that said he thought it was curious for me to be so jumpy, but I didn't offer any explanation. I just kept walking.

  "I have a place you could do it back in the mudroom," Jesse added. "There's dog shampoo back there and everything."

  "Really?" I asked.

  He nodded. "You wanna do it?"

  I smiled and nodded, and he gestured for me to follow. He showed me to the mudroom, where he had an organized wall of fishing supplies along with a station over to the left with several different variations of sinks and a working space. It looked like an elaborate system of sinks and countertops for different jobs. It was clean and organized, and I was taken aback by how cool it was. On the end was a special little tub slash shower thing that seemed like it was specifically made for washing a dog.

  "Clean your fish and clean your dog all in one convenient location," I said as we loaded Jack into the tub.

  Jesse laughed as he turned on the water and handed me the nozzle. "I guess I built it for the things I do—fishing and taking care of Donna. I knew I wanted this kind of room if I was gonna live out here on the river, so it was the first thing I did with the house."

  I used some of the shampoo that was sitting on the edge of the sink, and finally got a good lather working on Jack's fur. "I just picked him up at a gas station," I said, as an explanation as to why he was so dirty. "We tried to wash him, but it was cold out there, and we were all pretty miserable." I paused and looked down at Jack before adding, "This is better, huh, boy?" in a cooing tone.

  "I know you said you hadn't had him long, but I didn't know it was that recent. When'd you get him?"

  I let out a laugh. "Yesterday before I met you," I said. I paused and screwed up my face trying to remember. "Wait, was that really yesterday? It feels like about three days ago. Yeah, it was yesterday, because last night was our first night together and he we
nt and soiled your rug."

  "Well, it's no wonder he had a stomachache," Jesse said, rubbing Jack's head.

  I took Jack's face in my hands and gently rubbed soap into the fur on his head, ears, and cheeks, being careful to avoid his eyes, nose, and mouth. I hated to wash his face, but I had to. Jack didn't protest at all. I could see in his eyes that he was ready for it to be over, but he just stood there and let me finish.

  Jesse had been petting the top of his head while I washed his face, and without thinking I moved my hand under his. It was a too-familiar gesture on my part, but I honestly hadn't meant to do it. It was a true accident.

  Accident or not, I ended up with a jolt of electricity running through my body. Jesse's warm hand ran over mine in slow motion as I reluctantly pulled my hand out from under his. My heart pounded so violently that I could hear it in my ears. My mouth got dry and I swallowed against my growing nerves.

  "They say not to wash a dog's face," I said cringing at my own voice, which was at least an octave lower than normal due to my nerves. "But when your dog's this dirty, you have to make an exception."

  "He doesn't seem to mind," Jesse said.

  He rinsed his hand before reaching into an overhead cabinet. He pulled out a towel and set it on a surface next to the sink.

  "My plan B is the mayor of our town. He slept with my mother way back before he and his wife had a family of their own. He lived in the same town as me, but he never acknowledged he was my dad or anything. I saw him a couple of times growing up, and we barely looked at each other. He must have believed my mom that I was his kid, though, because he paid her rent till the day she died. She was the only family I had back in Kentucky, and she passed away a few years ago."