by Lily Rose
Kyle glanced back and forth between us, unsure what was going on.
I was frozen to the spot, unsure what to say. Hawke and I couldn’t work out our relationship, but he showed up on my doorstep the other night and cooked me dinner. The sudden change in behavior threw me off, and when I asked him about it, he didn’t give me a sufficient answer.
And now he was here—at my gym.
Kyle turned to Hawke and extended his hand. “Uh, hi. I’m Kyle. You are?”
I forgot my manners in light of my surprise.
Hawke eyed Kyle’s hand but didn’t take it. The recognition in his eyes said he recognized Kyle’s name. He knew exactly who he was. “Hawke.”
Kyle slowly lowered his hand when he put two and two together.
This was awkward.
I remembered how terrible I felt when I saw that girl standing outside his apartment. Her hair was messy like she’d been rolling around in his bed all night. My stomach fell and the vomit rose.
I’m sure both of them felt that way now.
I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to let the tension rise. One of them needed to walk away, but neither one of them was willing to make the first move. Hawke stared at Kyle without blinking, and Kyle returned that look with his own stoic expression.
This was a nightmare.
Kyle finally stepped up. “I’ll see you around, Frankie.” He walked away and didn’t continue his workout. He left the gym, his bag over his shoulder.
Hawke didn’t watch him walk away. The second Kyle left our presence, Hawke’s eyes turned to me, burning me with their gaze.
The sound of weights dropping, and the hum of the workout machines played in our ear. Music from the aerobics room upstairs was distantly heard.
I refused to speak first because I didn’t know why Hawke was there.
Hawke made the first move. “You and Kyle are still close?” He asked a different question without actually asking it. His eyes drilled into mine, the fear evident if you looked hard enough.
“No. We just go to the same gym.” I wasn’t obligated to answer his question, and frankly, it was none of his business. But I wanted Hawke to know I wasn’t sleeping with Kyle anymore…for some reason.
“You don’t see him outside of it?”
I shouldn’t answer him. My personal life was none of his business. “He came into the bakery one time. We chitchatted then he left. He has a date tonight, actually.”
Hawke didn’t nod in approval or look relieved. His intense gaze still burned the skin of my cheeks. “I haven’t been with anyone since before I told you how I felt. And I won’t be with anyone else again.”
His words came out of left field and I didn’t know what to make of them. Of course, I loved hearing that. Even though I couldn’t work it out with him, I liked knowing he kept his hands to himself—even though I shouldn’t.
“Have you been seeing anyone else?”
I should stand my ground and not answer the question. But I caved. “No.”
“Are you going to see anyone else?”
Why did I melt right before his eyes? Why did I crumble every time? “No.”
“Including Kyle?”
The smart aleck inside me rose. “Why would I leave him if that were the case?”
Hawke’s expression didn’t change—at all.
“I don’t see why it matters, Hawke. I told you how I felt, and nothing has changed.”
“Everything has changed.”
Why were we having this conversation inside a gym? “Why are you making me hurt you again? I don’t enjoy it.”
“I deserve to be hurt.” The sincerity in his voice shocked me. It was so raw. “And I don’t deserve you. But I want you anyway.”
I tightened my arms around my chest. “Why are you making this so hard for me?”
“I’m not trying to,” he said quietly. “I was going to walk away and leave you in peace. But then I realized I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t give up—not on you.” The sound of barbells crashing against the ground echoed in the room, but Hawke didn’t seem to notice. “We’re forever. And we’re still forever.”
We rented a party bus and hit up Chippendale’s for Marie’s bachelorette party. While I wanted to get wasted and have a good time, I was a good maid of honor and only allowed myself to get buzzed. Axel made it very clear that Marie needed to be looked after.
Like I didn’t know that.
Marie was a fun drunk, but when she had one too many, it wasn’t cute anymore. She stumbled with every step and slurred every word. She was a pain, actually.
We rode the party bus around town and bar hopped. Marie was wasted, beyond wasted, but she wanted to keep going. When I handed her water, she took a drink then spit it out. “This is the worst vodka I’ve ever had.”
“Because it’s water, idiot.”
She pushed the drink at me. “Well, I don’t want this water vodka.”
“It’s just water.” I set it on the counter.
“Let’s get this party started.” Marie clapped her hands and moved to the center of the room and started dancing. There was music on, but no dance floor. “I’m getting married!”
The other girls joined in, holding their glasses up while they shook their hips.
I ordered a drink and enjoyed it while I watched them stumble in their heels. At least Marie was having fun, and that’s all that mattered. I suddenly felt a piercing gaze penetrate my skin. It was simmering with heat, and without looking, I knew exactly who it was.
Hawke.
I turned to the source of the stare and saw him sitting at a table with three guys. They all wore jeans and t-shirts, but they had an aristocratic air to them, like they wore suits on a daily basis.
Hawke took a long drink of his scotch as he held my gaze. There was no surprise in his eyes, like he’d been staring at me for the past thirty minutes. Instead of being surrounded by pretty girls, he was alone.
The guys were having a conversation, laughing together. Hawke didn’t participate because all he was focusing on was me. When he set his glass down, he kept his fingers tightly around it. One ankle rested on the opposite knee.
I finally broke the trance and forced my gaze on Marie. I suddenly felt self-conscious in the tight cocktail dress I wore. It was black and backless. The heels were killing my feet, but Marie insisted I wear them. I wasn’t against dresses, but I had intended to wear skinny jeans and a t-shirt.
If Hawke were going to speak to me, he probably would have done it when he first spotted me. But I quickly realized I was wrong when the scent of his cologne entered my nose. He stood beside me at the bar, his glass of scotch still in his hand.
I finally turned to him, hating the way my body hummed for him. The inexplicable needed to wrap my body around his overtook me. Like magnet and steel, we were constantly being tugged together. Some would call it physical attraction or even lust, but it was something else entirely.
“You look…stunning.” He set his glass on the bar and stood close to me. He leaned his face close to mine, and the scruff on his cheeks made him even sexier. I liked it when he didn’t shave for a few days.
“Thanks.”
“I really like this.” His eyes took in my bare back, practically devouring it with just the look.
“I like that I got it on clearance.”
“Worth every penny.”
I focused on Marie in the middle of the floor. She was still dancing around, shaking her butt like Shakira.
“Why aren’t you out there?”
“I’m being the responsible one so they don’t have to be.”
“Sounds boring.”
“A little,” I said. “But I have to make sure everyone gets home okay.”
“I’m assuming this is the bachelorette party.”
“Yeah.”
“How about I keep an eye on all of you, so you can go out there and let loose?”
It was a tempting offer. “So you can take advantage of me later?”
It was a flirtatious joke but judging the angry expression on Hawke’s face, he didn’t take it that way.
“I’m not even going to respond to that.” He downed the rest of his scotch.
“It was a joke.”
“A terrible one.” He turned his eyes to Marie. “Go out there, and I’ll make sure you guys make it back.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I told Marie I would do this. Also, I promised Axel.”
“You should be out there shaking your butt too.” He gave me a smolder along with a smirk. “I’d love to watch that.”
“This dress is already too short. Something might pop out.”
“Ooh…even better.”
My breathing had changed since he came near, and my chest was tighter than usual. Adrenaline coursed through me in powerful waves. As much as I’d like to say I didn’t want him anymore, it was impossible to deny. My heart would always beat for his. My soul would always sing when his was near.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I’m okay. I’m still a little buzzed from the strip joint.”
“Strip joint?” he asked.
I realized I spilled Marie’s secret. “I didn’t tell you that.”
He chuckled. “Whatever happens tonight stays between us. I wouldn’t rat out Marie.”
Marie pulled a random guy onto the floor and started dancing with him. The other girls joined in. The guy looked like he was having the time of his life, surrounded by beautiful women.
“I didn’t know Marie was so much fun.” He rapped his knuckle on the bar and ordered another scotch.
“She’s a hoot.”
“So, see anything you like at Chippendales?”
“Not really.”
“I could put that place out of business if I wanted to.”
I rolled my eyes. “So full of yourself…like always.”
He held my gaze and leaned closer to me, almost like he might kiss me.
If he did, I would kiss him back. I wish that weren’t the case but it was. If he made the move, I would be powerless to stop it. He knew I was defenseless against him, so hopefully he would be a gentleman and not make the move at all.
He didn’t. He just leaned close to me, his breath falling on my cheek.
I needed to break the tension. “Are those your boys?”
Hawke moved away slightly. “I work with them.”
“At your company?”
“Yeah, they’re employees.”
“They actually like their boss?”
“What can I say?” he asked before he took a drink. “I’m a great boss.”
I could picture Hawke being the most terrifying boss on the planet.
“I’m not really their boss. They work as hard as they want and make the salary they desire. I just get a percentage of it. So, it works out for everyone involved.”
“That’s interesting.” He never told me about his job before. I wasn’t even sure how he got started. After we went our separate ways, I never asked Axel a single question about him. “Do you like your job?”
“I love it.”
“What do you do all day?”
“It’s complicated, but I basically decide how to invest people’s money. When they get a return, I get a return. It’s that simple.”
“And they trust you?”
“I’m a pretty smart guy. I’ve never lost anything.”
“Ever?” That was hard to believe.
“At least not yet,” he answered. “About a year ago, I had a really high profile client. We actually met on the town. He gave me a lot of money to invest in smaller markets. I turned it around and made him five times what he put into it. And I got an enormous payout because of it. He told his fellow billionaires and word spread. Now a lot of people turn to me.”
“That’s impressive,” I said. “I’m proud of you.”
His lids became hooded, and the emotion in his eyes gave him away. “Thank you, Muffin.”
He kept using my nickname. I wished he wouldn’t but I couldn’t tell him that. Actually, I liked hearing it, in a twisted and complicated way.
“I can give you the world—if you let me.”
“I don’t want the world, Hawke. I’ve never wanted it.” There’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted, and he was standing right beside me. Rich or poor, it had no bearing on the man Hawke was. I’d fallen in love with him because of his soul, not because of his success.
He tilted his head slightly as he regarded me, his lips looking kissable. “What do you want, Francesca? Name it and I’ll give it to you.”
Unless he had a time machine, it was impossible. “You can’t give it to me, Hawke. No one can.” I turned away and watched Marie. She gave me comfort while I had this dark conversation with Hawke.
His hand moved to my cheek, and he forced my gaze on him. His thumb brushed across my skin then stopped at the corner of my mouth. He stared at me possessively, like I was his.
I melted at his touch, pathetically. My body and heart were his for the taking. I couldn’t protect them no matter how hard I tried. He could take anything he wanted, even if it was all of me.
“I love you.”
The words echoed in my mind, and my stomach did somersaults. I already knew he loved me even if he never said it. When we used to be together, we hardly ever said those words to each other. But we didn’t need to. It was so obvious that it was practically redundant to say.
Hawke stared into my eyes as he waited for me to say it back. The need was there, burning right on the surface. He leaned closer to me, his thighs pressing against my knees. He was pressuring me silently, commanding me without giving an order.
“I’m desperately and pathetically in love with you.”
When Marie had enough and could barely keep her eyes open, the night was over.
“I need to get her home.” She was slumped in a chair, practically a corpse that could still vomit.
“Are you sure you can handle it on your own?” Hawke asked. “Because I can help.”
“No, it’s okay.” I shook Marie’s arm. “Babe, wake up. It’s time to go home.”
Her face was on the table and her eyes were closed. Her mouth was gaping open.
“Marie, come on.” The rest of the girls left, so I was stuck with the big girl job.
She didn’t move.
Hawke eyed her unresponsive body. “I think you need my help.”
I hated admitting I needed help from anyone.
He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her body. She didn’t seem cold, so I wasn’t sure why he did it. When he lifted her from the chair and cradled her in his arms, I understood. He was covering the opening of her dress, where her butt would be sticking out. “Where am I taking her?”
“To her apartment.”
“You think Axel should see her like this?”
“He knows what to expect,” I said. “Besides, he can take care of her in the morning.”
“Okay.”
Together, we walked up the street and headed to her apartment. It was just a few blocks away so we walked in comfortable silence. Marie was passed out on his shoulder and oblivious to everything around her.
“Is she heavy?”
“Lighter than air.” Hawke walked in stride like he wasn’t carrying a human being at all. He was a solid slab of muscle so it shouldn’t be surprising.
We arrived at her apartment building then knocked on the door. It was three in the morning so Axel was probably asleep.
“Are her keys in her bag?” Hawke asked.
“I’m sure they are but I’d rather have Axel answer the door.”
Axel opened it a moment later, his hair messy and his sweatpants on. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his eyes were squinted like he’d just woken up. “Is she okay?”
“Just drunk,” I explained.
Axel stepped aside. “Put her on the bed.”
Hawke carried her into the bedroom then returned. His jacket was back on.
“Wait,”
Axel said. “Why were you there?”
“We ran into each other,” Hawke explained. “And Frankie needed help carrying Marie.”
“She’s gonna be a pain in the butt tomorrow,” Axel said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “But I’m glad she’s okay. Did she have a good time?”
“I’m not gonna ask.” Axel began to close the door. “Thanks for bringing her home.”
“No problem,” I said.
Axel shut the door and left us alone on the threshold.
Hawke turned to me, and the look in his eye told me our night wasn’t over yet even though it was three in the morning. “My place is just a block over. Let’s go.”
“Whoa… Who said I was coming over?”
Hawke grabbed my hand, encompassing my small fingers in his. It was the first time he gave me this kind of affection, something innocent but intimate. “I did.”
A slave to my emotions, I walked into his bedroom and kicked off my heels. I knew I should leave. No good would come from staying there. My heart was still broken from the last time he shattered it, and I was making myself vulnerable all over again.
But I stayed.
I sat at the edge of the bed still in my tight dress. I would have to borrow clothes from him.
Hawke removed his shoes and jeans. But he didn’t stop there and kept going. Slowly, he pulled his shirt off until he was just in his boxers.
My throat went dry.
He stood in front of me without breaking eye contact. Then he grabbed the brim of his shorts and pulled them down his long legs. He stood in front of me completely naked, looking like a Greek god chiseled in stone.
He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. His stomach was tight with muscles, and the endless lines and grooves made him into a work of art. His thighs were thick and toned, and his chest was as hard as steel.
Hawke inched toward the bed until he kneeled before me.
I stopped breathing. We were face-to-face, and he was on his knees. This kind of contact made me burn hotter than the sun. I kept my hands in my lap but I desperately wanted to touch him.
His face hovered near me, and his lips were just an inch away. Every breath he exhaled landed on me. I tried to control my breathing and pretend I was calm but it wasn’t working. My chest rose and fell rapidly because I was both excited and scared.
