Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1)

by Hannah Davenport

  “I have to go home today.” Colin said as he took my hand.

  “You have to leave?” I’m sure he could hear the disappointment in my voice.

  “I do. I’m sorry Carlana. I have a meeting tomorrow and I can’t miss it nor can I reschedule. I have to be there.”

  “What is your meeting about?” He knew I was just making small talk, but I also wanted to know. I didn’t know a lot about his job, but I knew he was well off.

  “I have a meeting with Ellis. He’s the one I talked to you about a couple of months ago. You told me to be honest and tell him the truth?” I nodded, remembering the conversation. “We sort of went in to business together. It’s a long story and I promise to tell you when we have more time. I meant to have this conversation with you earlier but time got away from me.”

  “Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say, and I didn’t understand what he was talking about. “When do you have to leave?”

  Looking at his watch he said, “I have to leave in an hour.” I know he saw the devastated look on my face, but there was nothing that I could say or do.

  “I’ll drive you to the airport, what time does your plane leave?”

  “It’s leaving at 1pm but you don’t need to drive me.” He took a sip of coffee. Austin sat silently taking everything in.

  “You don’t want me to go to the airport with you?” I felt slightly hurt. Why didn’t he want me with him?

  “There’s no need. I just have to turn the car in and then I’ll be gone.”

  “Okay. If that’s what you want.” I couldn’t look at him. I knew it was silly but I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want me to stay with him as long as I could.

  He reached across the table and took my hand. “Carlana, look at me.” I finally raised my sad eyes to his. “It’s not that I don’t want you to go, it’s just that it will be harder to get on the plane if you’re standing there. I have to go back today, but it doesn’t mean I want to.”

  My heart felt lighter with his admission. “Okay.” That was all I could manage.

  An hour later, Colin held me in a tight embrace. “I’ll call you tonight.” He said as he hugged me tight.

  “Okay.”

  “Maybe you and Austin can come to New York after he graduates?” He asked sounding hopeful.

  “Maybe.” I couldn’t tell him that I doubted I could afford it. He took my mouth with a crushing kiss, letting me know exactly how he felt. I kissed him back with the same eagerness.

  “I need to go. I had a great time this week.”

  “I did to.” With one last kiss, I watched him walk away.

  Chapter 19

  Returning Home!

  Arriving in New York, I found I missed Virginia. I wasn’t kidding her when I said I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t remember ever having a better week. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Matt. “Hello?”

  “Hey man, I’m back in town. Want to grab something to eat this evening?”

  “Sounds good. You can tell me all about Virginia.”

  “And you can tell me what’s been happening.”

  “See ya at 6?”

  “See ya then.”

  I nodded to Dean as I entered the apartment building. I needed a shower and to talk to James, make sure everything was running smoothly. I had purposely not answered phone calls while I was away. Mother and the bitch Maria had called several times, however, I had not heard from James.

  After showering, I felt much better. Walking in to my favorite Italian restaurant, I found Matt sitting in the corner booth.

  “Hey. How’s everything?” I asked as I slid in the seat opposite him.

  “Good. How was Carlana?” A smile broke out on my face. “That good huh?”

  “Yeah, it was. I hated leaving.”

  “She coming up here?”

  “I threw it out there. Told her that after Austin graduates they should both come for a visit.” We ordered our food, and when I looked up, I found Matt staring at me with a goofy grin on his face. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “That waitress tried every way possible to get your attention and you didn’t even notice.” Huh I guess I didn’t. “This is the first time since I’ve known you that you haven’t even looked at women.”

  “I get now why you like to stick with one woman. Sex with Carlana was so much… more.”

  “Exactly!”

  “Mother still bothering you?”

  “Not so much, but have you seen the magazine covers?”

  “No, why?” He just shook his head. “What is it?”

  “You need to see for yourself.”

  ****

  “I can’t believe he was here for a week and I didn’t get to meet him!” Megan said when we met for lunch. Colin had been gone for three days and I missed him like crazy. He called me every night, but I still wanted him here. I wanted to wrap my arms around him.

  “I know. You picked a terrible time to be sick.” I laughed at her.

  “I’m just glad you didn’t catch it. We were together all day, and that night I started throwing up. That was some nasty bug.”

  We finished eating and after we paid, “Let’s walk over to the fastmart, I want a pack of gum.”

  Megan and I took our time as we made our way to the gas station. It was a nice day outside, and I enjoyed the feel of the sun on my face. Not paying much attention as we walked in to the store, I heard Megan mutter “Damn.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” I didn’t really glance her way, just kept looking for cinnamon gum.

  “I can’t believe he’s getting married.”

  “Who are you talking about?” I glanced at her and found her holding a magazine. “Why do you read that trash?”

  “You remember that sexy hunk I showed you a few months ago, the one who is always on the cover with different women? Well, it looks like he’s getting married. Someone snatched him up.” When she turned the magazine around, all the color drained from my face as Colin stared back at me. I grabbed it from her hand so I could read the article.

  Just scanning it, I saw words that read Most Eligible Bachelor, playboy, snatched up, engaged. I couldn’t even bring myself to read it as I stared at the woman in the photo. She was beautiful but her eyes were cold.

  “I need to go home Megan. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “What’s wrong?” I heard her say but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t want her to see the tears in my eyes, and I knew if I said anything, a sob would tare loose from my throat. How could I be so happy one minute and utterly devastated another. I almost snorted at the thought; however, losing someone is different than betrayal. I knew we didn’t make any promises, but I thought he felt the same for me as I did him.

  I was so consumed with my thoughts and emotions; I didn’t hear Megan come up behind me. Grabbing my arm, “Lana, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Trying to hold in the gut retching sobs, I finally just threw my arms around her and gave in to them. She petted my hair while giving me soft words of encouragement.

  Finally somewhat collecting myself, “That’s him.”

  “That’s who honey?” I knew she had no idea what was going on.

  “That’s my Colin on the front of the magazine.” I watched the color drain from her face only to be replaced with the red of rage.

  “THAT BASTARD! She yelled.

  I snorted a laugh in between the tears falling down my face. “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.”

  Lying in bed that night after crying all evening, I didn’t bother to answer my phone. Austin was in bed asleep so I just let it ring. I let it ring the next morning, the next night, and the day after that. I felt numb inside and to be honest, I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t feel good, my coughing was getting worse and I felt extremely tired all the time.

  By the end of the week, I couldn’t take it anymore so I called my doctor and explained about the coughing, and tiredness.

  “It sounds like it’s time for a tune-up.” Dr. Me
eks said. “I’ll get everything set up and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, thank you Dr. Meeks.” Walking in to the kitchen, Austin was sitting there eating a cookie.

  “Are you alright mom? I’ve heard you coughing a lot lately.” He asked with concern. He knew something had happened between Colin and me but he hadn’t asked so I hadn’t bother telling him.

  “I just talked to Dr. Meeks and he wants to put me in the hospital tomorrow. I’ll see if Grandma will come and stay with you.”

  “No. I’ll take you to the hospital and during the week I can stay by myself. I’m eighteen and there’s no reason to bother grandma.”

  “I know you can stay by yourself, I just worry about what you eat. With grandma here I know you’ll get good healthy meals.”

  “I know how to cook. Remember? You said I needed to know how to take care of myself so I didn’t have to depend on someone. You made me learn to cook and do laundry.” I smiled, remembering how much he didn’t want to learn to do those things.

  “Yeah. Okay then.”

  “What’s going on with you and Colin?” He asked without looking at me.

  “Nothing. Why?” He glanced at me for a brief moment before stating the obvious.

  “As much as it bothered me, you being with someone besides dad, you’ve been very happy the last few months… until now. I know you don’t feel well, but I can tell you’ve been crying a lot. You also won’t answer your phone when it rings. What happened?”

  “He’s engaged.” I said defeated. I looked at Austin and could see the anger all over him. I could almost see the steam coming from his ears. “It’s alright Austin, I’ll be fine. It’s probably for the best anyway. I hadn’t even told him about my illness.”

  “That motherfucker!” He shouted. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch!” He raged on.

  “Austin! Language please!” He didn’t look at me as he continued spouting profanities at Colin. I just got up and went back to my room, too tired to fight with him or anyone else.

  Chapter 20

  Whatever!

  “Janice, where’s my reports!”

  “Sorry sir, I get them right away.”

  “Next time have them on my desk before I get here.” I knew I was being unfair to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not now.

  “Yes sir.”

  I was sitting at my desk when she brought the reports to me. I took over all the retirement accounts for Ellis’s company, and of course gave him a huge break for his help with my parents. I hadn’t talked to Carlana for two weeks because she wouldn’t answer her damn phone. I thought she felt the same way I did, but I was wrong. Whatever! I didn’t need her or anybody else.

  My cell rang and without looking, I grabbed it and hit talk. “Speak.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Matt was pissed, not that I cared.

  “Nothing. What do you want?”

  “Just wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight, but I don’t know if I want to be around you right now.” He sounded irritated.

  “Yeah, let’s go to the club.”

  “I thought we could get pizza and beer.”

  “I’d rather go to the club. See ya at 9.” I hung up, not giving him room to change my mind. I thought about Carlana all the time and I needed a distraction.

  Answering my ringing cell again, “Speak.”

  “Colin, it’s Maria. Can we please get together and talk?” I clenched my jaw. How do I get rid of these fucking people! Her and my mother had called me several times while I was gone and when I got back. When mother realized she couldn’t blackmail me into marriage, she’s tried the guilt thing. Telling me how important family is, and all she wants is what’s best for me. Everything she’s done, she’s done for family. I couldn’t listen to her load of bullshit any longer so I hung up on her.

  “Maria. I need you to listen and pay attention. I have talked to my lawyer, and if you don’t have the articles retracted, I’ll sue you for slander. If you continue to harass me, I’ll have you brought up on charges.” I hung up the phone while thinking that maybe I should change my number.

  Sitting in the VIP section Matt and I ordered drinks as I scanned the dance floor for available women. “Have you tried calling her anymore?” Matt asked and I just shook my head. I didn’t beg and I wouldn’t start now. “You know something must have happened. Maybe she was in a car accident or something. Maybe she saw your engagement picture on the front of a magazine. You need to go find out what happened.” I let it go in one ear and out the other. Carlana didn’t read those magazines. If she did, she would have known me when I first met her.

  “I’m going to the dance floor.” I left him sitting there, probably steaming because I refuse to talk to him about her. Finding a young blonde with big tits, I pulled her tight against my body as we started dancing. Our bodies grinding, molding together like a sexual mating dance. I knew I had drank too much but right now, I needed to shut my mind off.

  Several drinks later, I found another partner but instead of heading to the dance floor, I called Seth and had him bring the car around. I let Gino go, deciding I would just be more careful. Ushering my date in to the car, I didn’t look as the camera flashed. “Home Seth.”

  “Yes Mr. Withers.”

  Arriving at my penthouse, Dean opened the door as we entered. “What’s your name?” I asked. I couldn’t just call her girl or blondie.

  “It’s Anna.” She smiled seductively, “And you’re Colin Withers.”

  Standing in the living room with my arms crossed and a serious look on my face, I didn’t know what to do which was a first for me. Normally, I would have her bent over the table and already fucking her by now, but I just stood here watching her. She bit her lower lip and pulled the dress up over her head. Standing there in a red lacy bra and panties, I felt nothing.

  Anna dropped to her hands and knees, stuck her ass in the air and crawled over to where I stood. As she looked up at me, she grabbed my jeans to unbutton, and then unzip them. Reaching in, she grabbed my dick and released it from it’s silky cage. It stood at attention as she slid her lips around me, sucking my dick deep into her throat. I let my head fall back between my shoulders as I imagined that it was Carlana sucking me. When I heard her fake moan I looked down to see the blonde head bobbing up and down. Realization came to me like a feather in the wind. I didn’t want this, I only wanted one woman. When she looked up at me and I saw my dick in her mouth, I felt… guilty. Pulling myself out, I buttoned up my pants and told the blonde to get out! She yelled at me, called me an asshole before getting dressed and stomping out the door.

  I took a quick shower to try to wash off the dirtiness I felt. Grabbing my phone, I tried to call Carlana but it went straight to voicemail. Why won’t she answer the damn phone? I said to myself as I paced back and forth. Looking at my watch, I noticed it was two in the morning but I felt like I couldn’t wait any longer. Pulling out my phone, I called Seth. “I want the jet ready to go in an hour and I want you here in thirty minutes to pick me up. I’m heading back to Virginia.”

  ****

  “Good morning Carlana, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Meeks asked as he entered my hospital room.

  “I’m feeling much better. It’s hard to get any rest when the nurses keep waking me up but I’m not complaining. How much longer do I need to take the IV medicines?” When I need my tune-up as the doctor calls it, I always take two different IV meds for a minimum of two weeks and have taken them up to six weeks before. Thank God, I didn’t have to do it too often.

  “I think another couple of days and you’ll be good to go.” He smiled as he pulled out his stethoscope to take a listen. “Your oxygen level has stayed normal so that’s good.”

  “I know. I’m one of the lucky ones.” I took a deep breath so he could listen.

  “Well I don’t know how lucky you are, you have a very rare genetic disease but at least your symptoms seem to be mild.”

  I was born
with a disease called Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia, also known as PCD. There are only about five hundred of us diagnosed in the United States, but they suspect over twenty-five thousand have it and go undiagnosed. I was lucky to have found Dr. Meeks and a treatment that works. Austin was healthy, and I was mild for someone having PCD. A lot of the others had to wear oxygen and a couple had already had lung transplants, so yeah, I felt lucky.

  Dr. Meeks folded the stethoscope and placed it back into the pocket of his white coat. “I’ll check your labs and culture report in the morning and then I’ll make a decision which day you’ll get released. Who’s Austin staying with?”

  “He informed me that he was now eighteen and was perfectly capable of staying by himself. He’s coming down tomorrow to stay with me. He had final exams this week.”

  “I knew he was getting older, but I didn’t realize he had turned eighteen already. Wow, time sure does fly.” Dr. Meeks has been my doctor since Austin was two years old. He almost felt like part of the family. “Okay Carlana, you rest up and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  The next morning while looking at my phone, I noticed that Colin had called again last night. Well technically this morning. Grabbing my tablet, I googled his name and found another picture of him with a blonde, huh, what happen to his fiancée? According to the headlines, it was from last night when he was leaving a club. I knew I have no right to feel jealous, but I did. I knew that I was the one that quit talking to him without explanation, but I still didn’t like seeing him with other women. Maybe I made a mistake, but when I saw the engagement picture, I lost it. Then getting sick I realized that nobody would tie themselves to someone that tired easily and got sick all the time. I knew that breaking it off was the right thing to do, but my heart didn’t agree especially when I’m down here all alone.

  Chapter 21

  I’m Not Leaving!