Love on Liberty

by M. J. Williamz

  “I’ll be back,” Dolly heard herself say.

  “That would be great.” Amanda closed her eyes, and Dolly made her way around the floor, checking on other wounded kids. Tommy was right. That’s all these sailors were. They were boys and girls, too young to be over here suffering like this and dying for no good reason.

  Dolly took a deep breath. They were fighting the spread of communism. And that was a reason to be proud of the wounds they had. Somehow, the words rang hollow in her head. Damn Tommy. She had shaken Dolly’s beliefs to their core. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but Tommy’s beliefs had subtly begun to impose themselves on Dolly.

  When Dolly got back to Amanda, she was sleeping soundly so Dolly just turned away.

  “Lieutenant?”

  She turned back.

  “I thought you were sleeping,” Dolly said.

  “That’s hard to do here. Did you make your rounds?”

  “I did.”

  “Can you pull up a chair?”

  “Sure.” Dolly grabbed one and sat next to Amanda.

  “So where are you from, Amanda?”

  “I’m from Missouri. And you?”

  “Georgia.”

  “What are your dreams for life, Lieutenant?”

  Dolly was taken aback. She didn’t know how to answer. Was her dream to meet a nice woman and settle down? Or could she be happy with a man?

  “Surely you’ve thought about it,” Amanda said. “About what you’ll do when this war is over.”

  “I just always assume I’ll be a civilian nurse when this is over.”

  “Okay, if that what’s you want. If that’s important to you, then I hope you get to do that.”

  “And what about you?” Dolly said.

  “I’ve always wanted to be an author. I still think I can. I figure I can type one-handed. I should get pretty good at it over time, don’t you think?”

  “I suppose you would,” Dolly laughed. She liked Amanda’s spunk. “What kinds of books would you write?”

  “Well, I always thought I would write mystery, but I’m thinking I’d like to write an account of my time here in Nam. Do you think others would want to read that?”

  Dolly thought long and hard before answering. On the one hand, people should be interested in what was going on over there. On the other, it might be too much. But she didn’t want to discourage Amanda.

  “I think there would be an audience,” she said.

  “Yeah, so do I. Maybe not right now, but in a few years or whenever it’s over. Hell, it’ll take me that long to type the damned thing.”

  Dolly came to enjoy her visits with Amanda and was filled with mixed emotions when she heard they were sending her on to a navy hospital in the Philippines. She was stable and would probably be sent stateside from there. She assumed she’d get an honorable discharge at that point. Dolly was happy with her recovery, but was sad to see her go. She stopped by to see her before the helicopter got there.

  “Good luck with everything, Amanda.”

  “Thanks. It’s going to feel great to get home.”

  “Things are different in the states now,” Dolly said.

  “How so?”

  “They’re not always welcoming to injured vets.”

  “They don’t have to welcome me,” Amanda said. “I’ll be home, and that’s all that matters to me.”

  “You just hold on to that.” Dolly imagined Tommy and her group greeting poor Amanda and yelling obscenities at her. It filled her with anger. They had no idea who they were yelling at. They didn’t know the stories of the kids over here. What right did they have to protest against any of them?

  The helicopter arrived and Dolly said good-bye again and went about her business, tending to other injured young men and women. There was usually one injured woman on the ship at any given time. The rest were men. And the injuries were brutal. Dolly much preferred working aftercare to triage, but when it was her time for it, she had no choice.

  She hated seeing the kids in pain, having to decide who would be next in the operating room. And it was nearly impossible to explain to them, as they screamed in pain, why they had to wait, why someone else got to go ahead of them. Each person felt their wounds were the worst.

  There was so much blood and gore to deal with. She couldn’t believe the amount of damage people were able to inflict on one another. How could they do that? Moments like this, she could see things from Tommy’s point of view. She wished she could quit thinking about Tommy. She fluctuated from resenting her to agreeing with her and that made her angry. Tommy shouldn’t be on her mind while she treated kids fighting for their lives.

  Dolly was in her stateroom one afternoon. It was her day off and she was resting on her bunk, replaying the day before and wondering if there was anything more she could have done to save the three men who died as she treated them. It was never easy to lose someone, and three in one day was far from unheard of, but still she played the day over just to be sure.

  She heard her name over the P.A. system. She was being called to report to Captain Finley’s office. Her stomach was immediately in her throat. What could the C.O. want with her? She made her way through the maze that was the ship’s halls and came to his office. She reported in to his assistant and was told to have a seat.

  She fidgeted in her chair, nervous and worried about what Captain Finley might need to talk to her about. Was it the deaths the day before? That hardly seemed worthy of a call to the captain’s office. Was her overall performance lacking? She didn’t think so, but now doubted the job she’d been doing. She felt like she’d been in the waiting area forever before she was finally shown into his office.

  Finley stood and motioned to a chair across from his expansive desk. He sat in his leather high-back chair while she tried to get comfortable in a small metal one.

  “How are you doing, Samson?” he said.

  “Fine, sir.”

  “Good. I know you’ve been very busy in the past month or so.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Her stomach got tighter by the moment. Surely he hadn’t called her in to just to shoot the breeze. They were both too busy for that. What could he possibly want?

  “You know, things are getting dicier on the home front,” he said.

  “Sir?”

  “You know, less support for those of us fighting the good fight against communism.”

  “Oh, yes, sir.”

  “There are more and more protests against vets returning home. There are protests and violence directed at recruiting centers. A lot of the people behind these are suspected communists.”

  Dolly was still confused. She didn’t understand what any of this had to do with her.

  “I suppose that makes sense, sir.”

  “Yes, it does. So the navy, well, all the services, have been keeping files on the people behind these acts.”

  Tommy flashed through Dolly’s mind. No, no one could think of her as a communist. She was just another hippie out making sure her voice was heard.

  “I’m not sure what any of this has to do with me, sir.”

  “While you were on liberty, I ran into you in a restaurant. Do you remember that?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And who were you with that night? A woman named Tommy, if I’m not mistaken.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “How do you know her?”

  Dolly panicked. She certainly couldn’t tell the captain she’d picked her up at a bar the first night of liberty. That would mean an immediate discharge for her. And it wouldn’t be honorable.

  “Samson. I’m waiting. I want to know everything you know about Tommy Benton.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Tommy settled back in to her life on the commune, eventually almost forgetting the pain Dolly had inflicted. Until the day she went to check on her mail and found a letter from Dolly. The letter professed Dolly’s love for her and her wish to remain in contact. Tommy almost crumpled up the paper, but didn’t.
She read it over and over until the words were imbedded in her brain. She had finally worked herself up to being over Dolly, and this letter just tore the scabs right off the wounds.

  She contemplated writing back. She sat at the little table in her tent with pen in hand and tried to come up with exactly what to say. But she didn’t know what she wanted to say. She had no idea, as a matter of fact. Ego made her want to tell Dolly to go away and never contact her again. Her heart made her want to tell Dolly she still loved her and would love to keep in touch. Maybe there was a chance, after all, that they would end up together.

  But she knew that wasn’t the case. Dolly had made it clear that she didn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t respect Tommy’s life and without that respect they couldn’t form a relationship. Not a strong one, anyway. And Dolly had been right. Tommy couldn’t respect anyone involved in a war she felt so strongly about.

  So Tommy never wrote Dolly back. She finally decided that was the best course of action. Instead, Tommy busied herself and those around her in preparations for Vietnam Moratorium Day. She wanted to get as many people to march on city hall as possible. She also needed to get the word out that, no matter what, it was to be a peaceful, thoughtful demonstration. She contacted a senator who was willing to come speak. He would be a great complement to herself.

  She had to organize members of the commune with different chores. Some had to pass out fliers at neighborhood grocery stores. Others had to print up those fliers. Most of them, however were kept busy making signs for everyone to carry. She made sure everyone had something to do to get them ready for October fifteenth.

  As the day approached, the energy in the commune was palpable. There was a buzz in the air that was undeniable. Tommy was so excited, her stomach was in knots. Rumor had it that it would be a good turnout. There would be businessmen, lawyers, clergy, and doctors. Or that’s what she’d heard anyway. She was thrilled that so many people were willing to speak out against the war.

  When the afternoon of the fifteenth arrived, Tommy called the members of the commune together. She climbed on the make shift stage to make a speech.

  “Today is a day that we should all be honored to be a part of. All across the nation, people are protesting peacefully against the war we’ve been so vocally against since the beginning. It’s a chance to get our voices heard. It’s a chance to become known. And it’s a chance to make history.

  I want to remind you, instill in you, that this march is to be peaceful. Do not get violent. Anyone who does will be asked to leave the commune. Now, let’s march.”

  The crowd cheered as Tommy led them down the main streets of town, effectively causing traffic snarls as they marched. They moved slowly, with purpose. They kept their heads held high as well as their signs as they made their way toward city hall.

  They got to Seaview Square and joined the thousands of others who had come out to peacefully protest. Tommy was so happy she thought she’d explode. There were thousands and thousands of people there. Clearly, the whole town had heard about the protest and were in agreement. She looked around for dissenters, but saw none. She led her group past the rest of them, then led everyone down the street to city hall. The group was so large that it spilled out into the street, which snarled traffic in the heart of the city. There were horns honking and curses yelled, but the group remained calm. Some of them, Tommy noted, even tried to make space for the cars to get through. So much peace filled the air that Tommy truly believed this could end the war. She believed if this kind of peace and solidarity was shown throughout the country, the president would have to pull the troops out.

  The senator arrived in his limousine, and the crowd parted to let him and his entourage through. He stood in front of the group and spoke. He thanked everyone for being there and talked about how important it was that we get out of Vietnam. His speech was well written and well practiced, and Tommy was nervous about following him. She had a basic idea of what she was going to say, but it was pretty loose and she hadn’t really practiced it. Oh, well, she had no choice. She should have insisted on going first. But the senator had someplace to be so had to go before her, time-wise.

  After he finished, the crowd erupted. They shouted and cheered and clapped. The noise was overpowering. Tommy felt small in comparison to this movement she was a part of. The senator welcomed Tommy to the stage, then left the same way he’d come in. Tommy stood in front of all those people and felt slightly overwhelmed. That was unusual for her. She was normally calm and cool at all times during protests. Being in charge was where she was most comfortable. She told herself to calm down. She was Tommy Benton, activist, and this was her chance to make a name for herself on the national level.

  She made her off-the-cuff speech and she made it well. She was interrupted several times with cheers so loud she had to stop and get the crowd under control before she continued. She spoke of peace and freedom, of government overstepping. She spoke from her heart, and it was wonderfully received. She stepped off the podium to a rousing round of applause.

  Tommy puffed out her chest as she walked back to her friends from the commune. They patted her on her back and shook her hand and hugged her. Everyone told her what a great job she’d done. And she knew they were right. She’d knocked it out of the park. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She wanted the rally to go on forever, but knew it was time to call an end to it. People had already started dispersing, so she called to her group and led them back to the commune, where a night of celebrating ensued.

  There was music and dancing and drugs. All Tommy’s favorite things. While she was swaying to the music, Trinity came over to her and took her hand. They danced together until Trinity pressed against her.

  “Take me to bed, Tommy. I need to be with you tonight.”

  Tommy was high on life and pot, and the idea of a warm body in her bed sounded very good to her. She took Trinity’s hand and led her through the crowd. She was suddenly pulled backward and looked around to see Madeline had grabbed hold of Trinity’s hand. She stopped.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” she said to Madeline.

  “I’m assuming your tent.”

  “And you’re coming with us?” Tommy said.

  “I’d really like to.”

  “Groovy. Come on.”

  They made their way through the crowd and came to Tommy’s tent. She opened the door for them and admired each of their asses as they passed in front of her. Trinity was slight of build with red hair and freckles. Madeline was medium framed with dark hair and green eyes. Tommy felt her hormones raging at the thought of playing with both of them.

  Trinity and Madeline sat on Tommy’s bunk while Tommy opened a bottle of Scotch she’d been saving for an occasion such as that day. She couldn’t imagine a better time to share it than with these two lovely women.

  She found three clean mugs and poured a little into each. She raised hers and toasted.

  “To the end of the war.”

  “Hear, hear,” the others said together.

  “And to a wonderful night celebrating,” Madeline said.

  “Mm hm,” Trinity said.

  They each took a sip. It was fifty-year-old Scotch, and it was smooth as silk going down. Tommy took another sip.

  “You should come sit with us,” Trinity said.

  Tommy sat on the cot next to her. She stroked her hair and felt a twinge she hadn’t felt in a long time deep inside her. She wanted these women in the worst way. As she played with Trinity’s hair, she felt her pull away and looked to see them kissing. Her loins leapt in excitement. The sight was too much to bear. She pulled Trinity away and kissed her hard on her mouth.

  Trinity returned the kiss in kind before turning her head back to Madeline. Tommy watched them kissing and, while excited, felt somehow left out. She knew she could take either one of them at any time, but they seemed to be enjoying each other so much. And then the strangest thing happened. Out of the blue, thoughts of Dolly appeared in her mind. She rem
embered the nights they’d spent together and the love they had shared. Or Tommy thought they had shared.

  Suddenly, the idea of a night with the two women didn’t appeal as much. She missed Dolly. There was no way around it. And while she believed in free love, she loved Dolly and until she was over her, she had no desire to be with anyone else.

  She moved over to a little chair and watched the women, who seemed oblivious to the fact that she’d moved off the bed. They were lying down, limbs entwined, lost in each other. Tommy let herself out into the night air. The festivities were going strong, but she didn’t feel like participating. Then she told herself to snap out of it. This was her night. And while she didn’t need to bed the two beauties to celebrate, Dolly couldn’t stop her from celebrating in general. She joined the circle and danced and sang with the rest of the commune until the sun came up.

  People started slowly making their ways to their tents to get some sleep before starting their days. Tommy didn’t want to go back to her tent yet, since she didn’t know if the women would still be there. She opted instead, to go to town and pick up a newspaper to see what kind of coverage Vietnam Moratorium Day got.

  The paper said that millions of people all over the country had peaceably observed the day. It had been the largest public protest ever on a national scale. There were only a few reported incidents of violence, and those generally were when counter protestors showed up.

  Tommy was thrilled with the outcome of the day. She had goose bumps thinking of the small part she played in the big scheme of things. She bought another paper to pass around her commune, but was determined to keep that one for herself.

  She made her way back to the commune in a leisurely fashion, still caught up in the enormity of what had happened. When she arrived, people were milling about, reliving the day before and getting ready to start their days. Tommy shared the newspaper with them before heading to her own tent, which thankfully, was empty. She lay down and continued thinking of the day before until she drifted into sleep.

  She awoke to a commotion outside her tent. She walked out front to find a newsman and cameraman arguing with Jimmy, who looked at her when she arrived.