Love on Liberty

by M. J. Williamz

  “I told them to beat it. I told them to leave you alone.”

  “It’s okay, Jimmy. Thanks, man, but I can handle it now.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m positive. Thanks again.” She turned to the reporter. “How may I help you?”

  “You Tommy Benton?” he said.

  “I am.” All of a sudden, she was nervous. She had been interviewed before. And this reporter seemed nice enough. But the butterflies in her stomach were swarming. She took a deep breath. “How can I help you?”

  “We understand you were instrumental in organizing the Vietnam Moratorium Day protest in our town. We’d just like to ask you some questions.”

  “Sure.” Tommy hoped she sounded more confident than she felt. “That would be great.”

  “Great. Give us a minute to get set up. Did you want to put some makeup on or anything?”

  Makeup? Typical male. Women couldn’t be attractive without make up. Irritation began to take over where the nerves had been.

  “I’m fine. I don’t wear makeup.”

  The reporter looked at her over his shoulder.

  “Suit yourself.”

  When they had things set up to their liking, the camera rolled and the man interviewed her.

  “We’re here today with Tommy Benton, one of our city’s lead activists. Tommy, how does it feel to have been so critical in organizing one of the largest demonstrations in this country’s history?” he said.

  “It feels fantastic. And the fact that it was mostly peaceful everywhere means a lot to me.”

  “I suppose I should clarify, you weren’t critical in organizing the whole demonstration, just the one here.”

  “Right. Which still took a lot of work.”

  “I’m sure it did. You know, Tommy, this isn’t the first time we’ve interviewed you.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “I wonder, do you ever plan to take this to a higher level? To maybe make your mark on a national level?”

  “I’d love that,” she said. “It’s definitely one of my goals.”

  “Do you think this war will last long enough for you to do that?”

  “I think this war is pretty much over after yesterday. But we still have a lot of social issues to fight for. So, I do plan to follow my dreams.”

  “All right, Tommy. Well, thank you for your time. And good luck with your goals.”

  “Thanks.”

  The camera was turned off and Tommy breathed a sigh of relief.

  “You did great,” the cameraman said.

  “Thanks.”

  “You know, I really do believe you’ll make it big time someday. I look forward to seeing you on the national news,” the reporter said.

  “Thanks,” Tommy laughed. “I look forward to that, too.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “Let’s try a different approach,” Finley said. “How do you know Benton?”

  Dolly continued to ponder her options. She knew she had to say something, and fast.

  “We met when we were kids,” she lied.

  “Really? When?”

  “One summer vacation.”

  “Is that right?” Finley said. “Did your family make a habit of summering in the Hamptons?”

  “No, sir.”

  “I didn’t think so. Did you spend vacations in the south of France?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Well then, where exactly did you meet Miss Benton?”

  “I don’t remember. I just know she’s been in my life since I was a kid. When we docked, I decided to look her up.”

  “You know, she’s not just an active communist, she’s also a lesbian.”

  “I didn’t know either of those things about her,” Dolly said.

  “She didn’t mention protesting to you?” Finley said.

  “She might have mentioned it. Mostly, she took me around and showed me the city.”

  “So you were seen with a known communist and lesbian publically? That doesn’t reflect well on the navy.”

  “Sir, I’m sure if I didn’t know that about her, no one who saw us would have suspected a thing.”

  “I can’t be so sure. Where did you stay in town?”

  “I stayed at the Bayside Motel.”

  “She was seen leaving there in the mornings while you were on liberty. Did she stay with you?”

  “No, she lives close by.”

  “Well, we’re clearly not getting anywhere right now, but you need to know that we have reason to believe you were involved with Benton.”

  “What do you mean, ‘involved with’?” Dolly’s stomach clenched tightly in a fist. Her bowels felt cold, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold them in place.

  “We’re looking in to all aspects of it, Samson. Whether you went to her commune with her or were romantically involved with her. Either of those will get you discharged. You have to know we take these allegations seriously.”

  “Wait a minute. What allegations? Who brought any allegations against me? I thought you were investigating Tommy.”

  “As I said, we have reason to believe you were involved with her. It was brought to our attention. I won’t say who, because they have a right to privacy, but they mentioned it to me and it all made sense. You may continue your normal duties at this time, but do know you’re under investigation. You’re excused.”

  Dolly stood on shaky legs and walked out of the office. She made her way back to her stateroom and collapsed on her bed, grateful no one else was around. She lay there, shaking, trying to gain her composure. That they were investigating Tommy was one thing, but that she, too, was under investigation was completely unnerving. She’d known that if anyone knew they were together she could get discharged, but try as she might, she couldn’t come up with anyone who might have seen them enough to make the connection.

  As she lay there, tears traced trails down her cheeks. She was terrified. If she was discharged, where would she go? What would she tell her parents? Would she be able to get a job in a hospital?

  All these questions floated through her mind until she fell into a restless sleep. She dreamed of having been discharged and having to wear a special uniform that all dishonorable discharges wore. It made them stand out like pariahs in society. She woke with a start, covered in sweat. She sat up and fought to catch her breath.

  “You okay, Dolly?” Tawny was changing out of her nurse’s whites and into fatigues.

  “Yeah. Bad dream is all.”

  “Those suck. I’m surprised more of us don’t have more of them.”

  “No kidding. How was the floor today?”

  “Busy,” Tawny said. “Too busy.”

  “When is it not?”

  “True. It’s dinner time. You ready to get some chow?” Tawny said.

  Dolly’s stomach was still in knots. She thought about refusing.

  “You know you’ll be hungry later and mess will be closed. Come on,” Tawny said.

  Dolly got off the bed and straightened her fatigues. She followed Tawny to the mess hall. The place was filled with sailors, and their loud voices threatened to give Dolly a headache. She froze momentarily as she thought of how these people, her brothers and sisters in arms, would turn their backs on her if she were to be discharged dishonorably. She felt nauseous again.

  “I think I’m going to pass on dinner,” she said.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re here already. Just get in line with me.”

  Dolly got in line, more so Tawny wouldn’t have to eat alone than due to her own hunger. The food smelled worse than usual, and she felt her stomach somersault. She honestly didn’t know if she’d be able to hold the food down. She told herself to be strong, that she was merely stressed and didn’t even know if Finley would be able to find enough evidence against her. She needed to just relax and live her days as she had all the ones previously.

  They got to the food and Dolly took a little, prompting Tawny to comment.

  “That’s hardly enoug
h for a bird. You need more.” She scooped more food on Dolly’s plate and they found open spots at a table.

  “So what’s really going on with you?” Tawny said. “It’s more than just a bad dream.”

  “I can’t say,” Dolly said.

  “Come on. Look at all we’ve been through together. Certainly you can talk to me about what’s bugging you.”

  “It’s kind of personal.”

  “Again, look at what we’ve been through. I know your most intimate secrets.”

  “And now, Finley’s trying to discover them,” Dolly said.

  “Huh? What do you mean?”

  “I met with him today. He’s investigating me, Tawny.”

  “Oh, shit. That’s not good. What prompted that?”

  “Tommy and I ran into him at a restaurant. Apparently, he recognized her or something. I don’t know. All I know is they have a file on her. They say she’s a known communist and a lesbian.”

  “But you’re not a communist. You’re serving on this ship. You help hundreds every week. What communist would do that?”

  “No, I don’t think that’s their concern. He said someone alleged that Tommy and I were involved.”

  “Oh, shit,” Tawny said again. “That’s really bad. That’s a strong allegation. Who would have said anything?”

  “That’s just it. I can’t figure out who would have reason to say anything. I’ve thought and thought and can’t come up with anyone.”

  “Well, if you do, let me know. Maybe we can talk to them, get them to recant.”

  “That would be wonderful, Tawny, but I doubt they would. If they’ve made allegations, they’ve clearly got something against me to begin with. What I was doing with Tommy didn’t hurt anybody.”

  “No, it didn’t. It was between you and her. Nobody else was even involved. Who the fuck would have said anything?”

  “I don’t know. The only one who knew for sure was you, and you wouldn’t have said anything,” Dolly said.

  “No. Even if I didn’t love you like a sister, it would be a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.”

  “Exactly. I don’t know. I guess it really doesn’t matter who said something. I just need to hope Finley gives up on me and focuses his attention on something else.”

  “I hope so, too. But I still want to know who could have said something. Who did you see on liberty?”

  “Finley. I think that’s all.”

  “What did you do every day? Think back to that and who might have seen you.”

  “Oh shit, Martinez,” Dolly said.

  “What?”

  “We saw Martinez at the amusement park and then at dinner that night.”

  “Well, that doesn’t mean you’re gay, but Martinez is an asshole, so might have said something.”

  “Yeah, but there’s more.” Dolly felt stupid even as she said it.

  “What?”

  “He saw us going into the Tunnel of Love together.” She felt the pit in her stomach grow. How could she have been so foolish as to agree to go on that ride with Tommy?

  “Oh, that’s not good,” Tawny said. “That’s kind of incriminating.”

  “I told Tommy I didn’t want to go on it,” Dolly said. “But she was insisting I was being paranoid. So I gave in and went on the ride. We saw Martinez getting off just as we got on.”

  “Shit,” Tawny said. “I don’t know what to say except shit.”

  “And he’s such an asshole. Do you know that when we first started back over here, he asked if I was frigid?”

  “Why? And what business is it of his?”

  “He said he’s never heard stories of me messing around. Which of course he hasn’t.”

  “What a dick.”

  “I know. Oh, Tawny. What will I do if he ruins my life?”

  “It won’t be the end of your life, for starters. You’ll just end up in a civilian hospital somewhere. Wherever you choose. You won’t be dealing with kids being blown to smithereens every day. It’s not a bad thing.”

  Dolly was just about to respond when Martinez and his friends walked by.

  “Whatcha munchin’ on, Samson? They servin’ carpet tonight?”

  Dolly sat silently fuming. She didn’t move or even speak until she heard them walk off.

  “Oh my God,” Tawny said. “I can’t believe he said that to you.”

  “I’m telling you. He’s so fucking inappropriate with me. But what can I do?”

  “True. There’s nothing to do. Which is wrong.”

  “Tell me about it,” Dolly said.

  “So, what are you going to do?” Tawny said. “About the allegations and everything?”

  “What can I do? Hope Finley sides with me, and in the meantime, just keep doing my job.”

  “Well, I’m always here for you if you need to talk.”

  “Thanks.”

  They went back to their stateroom and Dolly climbed onto her bunk again.

  “Don’t you want to go see what kind of games are being played?” Tawny said. When dinner was done, the mess hall turned into a gathering place, with people playing various games or just hanging out.

  “Not tonight. I’m gonna crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and forget I’m alive.”

  “Not sure how healthy that is, but I’m not sure I blame you, either.”

  “Thanks.” Dolly climbed off the bed and undressed. She put on her pajamas and climbed back in.

  “You want me to say something to Martinez?”

  “No, thanks,” Dolly said. “Let’s just hope he burns in some eternal hell.”

  Tawny left and Dolly lay under her covers wishing she had some recourse to all that was happening to her. She didn’t, though. Homosexuality was grounds for immediate dismissal. And if Finley felt there was enough evidence, then dismissal was coming and there was nothing she could do about it.

  She heard Tawny come back and wondered what time it was, but kept to herself because she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She wondered how long she’d been lying awake and thought how lousy she’d feel in the morning if she didn’t get some sleep.

  It was Dolly’s last day on triage. She was ordering the gurneys for surgery based on injuries. One young man was covered in shrapnel on his arms and legs and stomach. She knew he wasn’t critical, so moved him toward the end of the line.

  “Why are you putting me here? I need help,” he said.

  “We’re going to get you that help,” she said. “What’s your name, son?”

  “Marcus. Marcus Bremer.”

  “Okay, Marcus. I know you feel like you’re a long way from the operating room, but they’re quick in there.”

  “But I fucking hurt.”

  “I know you do. Hold on and I’ll get you something for the pain.”

  She went to the nurse’s station and got a syringe of morphine. She took it back to him.

  “Oh, shit,” he said. “I hate needles.”

  “You won’t even notice it,” Dolly said.

  “Bullshit.”

  “Tell me about yourself, Marcus. How old are you?”

  “I’m nineteen.” He never took his eyes off the needle in her hand.

  “And where are you from?”

  “Saginaw.”

  “Oh wow. It gets cold there, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah. It’s nothing like here.”

  “What do you miss most about home?”

  He leaned his head back as he thought, and Dolly jammed the needle in his arm.

  “Ouch,” he said.

  “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

  “Not compared to everything else I’ve got going on.”

  “You just relax now, Marcus, and we’ll get you into surgery as soon as we can.”

  She worked all day with casualties, losing some, but keeping most alive at least long enough to get into the operating room. She was exhausted when her day finally ended. She and Tawny went to the mess hall, and then Dolly fell sound asleep, too tired to eve
n worry about things.

  The next day, she was doing her rounds when she came upon Marcus.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling today?”

  “Like I got blown to hell.”

  Dolly nodded.

  “That makes sense. But at least you have all your parts, right?”

  “No, shit. Although I’m guessing that also means I get to go back out and fight some more in a few days, huh?”

  “I honestly don’t know how that works,” she said. “But I would imagine if you did get sent back out it would be after more than a few days.”

  “I don’t want to go back out there,” Marcus said.

  “I don’t blame you.”

  “It’s fucking scary.”

  “I’m sure it is,” she said. “It’s scary enough on this ship seeing what’s been done to you guys. I can’t imagine actually being on the front line.”

  “It sucks.”

  Dolly wanted to hear more. She wanted to agree with him, to tell him that she hated seeing all the young men come in here all blown to pieces, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. If anyone overheard, it could make her sound anti-war, which would be dubbed pro-communist if it got back to Finley.

  “I need to go check on other patients,” she told him. “I’ll be back to chat more later.”

  “That would be great.”

  She made her rounds and found everyone as expected. Most were in some level of pain and several were running fevers. She found the doctor and had him come check them. Some went back to surgery. One died. It was a long day. She went back to talk to Marcus.

  “How you doin?” she said.

  “Okay. I hurt, but I guess that’s just part of the deal.”

  Dolly knew there was no way to take away the full amount of pain, but she did her best to keep her patients comfortable.

  “Do you need something for it?”

  “No. It’s not that bad. Just kind of annoying right now. Maybe later I will.”

  She checked his chart. Yes, he’d be due in another hour.

  “You’ll get more in an hour, so just be strong.”

  “I kind of wish I’d been hurt worse, so I’d get discharged,” Marcus said.

  “Yes, but you don’t wish you’d have to go through life with one arm or one leg.”