First Loves: A Collection of Three YA Novels

by Jolene Perry

  “Sorry, am I interrupting?” I expect that Sky will laugh and tell me to sit and I’m being silly. Or maybe that’s just what I’m wishing for.

  “A little.” Her smile is weak. “You remember Tony, and this is his dad, Benson.”

  “Nice to meet you.” I nod. But now I feel like an outsider. And I really shouldn’t.

  “Can I meet you at your house in a few minutes?” Her arms rest over the papers in front of her.

  “Yeah, sure. Sorry to interrupt.” I spin around and head for the door. I don’t wait for her Nana, for an invitation, or to hear anything else. My cheeks are hot with anger or embarrassment, or something in between. Again, I find myself wanting to swim myself to death or have access to a punching bag. What is she leaving me out of? Why is she leaving me out of it? Why does Tony get to be there? How long has she known she was going back home? How long will she be there? And why isn’t she telling me things when it’s so obvious that something’s going on?

  - - -

  Part of me wants to disappear into the pool, but I also want to just go somewhere, and sit with Sky for a while, or have an evening in my shower. We could do it together this time.

  I kick off my shoes, and let my feet rest in the pool.

  “Sorry about that, Jay.” Her voice is way brighter than what it should be after feeling the mood in that room.

  “You’re leaving?” I turn just enough to see her walk toward me.

  Her smile doesn’t falter. “Well, there’s another big clan meeting when school’s out. It seemed like a good excuse to visit my mom and brother.” She sits next to me. “I just found out this morning.”

  Am I a jerk for second-guessing her? Was I wrong? “And what about—”

  “Tony’s dad is an attorney. He got his law degree for the sole purpose of helping Native Americans.”

  “And you need him for…” Am I asking for too much?

  “Oh, he’s learning about how the Alaskans do it all so differently, there’s an issue dealing with a few families that he was curious about. That’s all.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “Are you still taking me to the water park? To meet up with your friends?” Her voice is light and happy.

  I’m confused. The mood in that room was desperate, tense. I’m afraid to believe her. “Do you still want to go?” I ask slowly.

  “Of course.” She smiles like I’m being silly.

  Am I just reading into everything? Have my parents made me completely insane?

  “Alright.” I stand. “Let’s go.”

  - - -

  After riding every waterslide, and downing four hotdogs, I’m sprawled out on a lawn chair. Matt and Kaylee have just come back from another trip around the lazy river and Sarah is squealing and laughing every time Eric teases her. Which is constant. Has she always been this silly?

  Sky reclines next to me. Our fingers are relaxed and woven together between our lounge chairs. My eyes are almost closed, but mostly I’m looking at her long, brown legs.

  “Oh, Jay.” Her head turns.

  I move mine to look.

  “Next Friday, after finals, my American Indian group is going camping up at Red Rock. Wanna come?”

  I know next Friday is Prom, but it’s sort of an odd thing to bring up with someone who isn’t in high school. So I haven’t. Kaylee opens her mouth to say something, but I shake my head, just a little, hoping she catches my signal.

  “You don’t want to?” Sky asks. She must have thought my head shake was for her.

  “No.” I smile wide. “It sounds great.” Camping with Sky sounds awesome. Like maybe we’ll get to sleep next to one another or—

  “Jamesy!” Sarah leans forward in her chair, staring at me. “You can’t miss Prom!”

  “What?” Sky tenses up next to me.

  “It’s not a big deal.” I flash Sarah a dirty look.

  Kaylee shrugs in apology.

  “It’s your senior year. It’s a big deal.” Sky scoots up further in her seat.

  “I’m sure you could talk Sky into coming with us,” Matt offers. “Not all of us are obnoxious.” He throws a fry at Eric.

  Eric bats it away and laughs.

  But now everyone in our little group is staring. “I just. I guess I figured you’d be done with the high school stuff, you know? And I didn’t want you to feel like you have to come or that—”

  “I missed mine. It’s not big, I mean, we go to the high school in Ketchikan for big stuff like that. But I was sick, and missed it.”

  I chuckle. “So, you really want to go?” The vain side of me loves the idea of parading Sky around in front of my classmates.

  “Yeah. If that’s okay.”

  “Of course that’s okay!” Sarah sounds like she’s trying way too hard. Her eyes are wide and her smile looks forced. I have no idea what’s with her.

  Then I think about spending the night around a fire, listening to the drumming, and getting to know some of the people Sky hangs with. “I really don’t want to miss the camping.”

  “You could do both,” Kaylee suggests. “I mean, you two could come to part of Prom, do the whole dress-up dinner thing, and then head out.”

  Sky’s nodding, her smile spreading.

  Eric’s biting on Sarah’s neck, so they’re not part of the conversation anymore, which is definitely better.

  I lean toward Matt. “You and Kaylee should come too, camping I mean.”

  They exchange looks. “That’d actually be great.” Kaylee nods.

  Matt’s jaw drops and his hand slides over her shoulders. He’s probably thinking the same thing I’m thinking. All night in a sleeping bag.

  “Do you think that’d be okay with your friends?” I look to Sky.

  “This is going to be great.” She nods. She’s in. Guess that’s it. Dinner, Prom, camping. With Sky. I wonder if there’s any way to convince her that she needs to wear a short skirt to Prom.

  Sarah and Eric have wandered off for more swimming or sliding or something. Kaylee and Matt head back to the concession stand.

  “Did I—”

  “Is it—”

  We both start at the same time.

  “You first.” I stop and wait.

  “Did I just totally invite myself with you? And if it’s weird for you, please tell me.” She actually looks worried I won’t want her there. Ridiculous.

  “I’d have to be crazy not to want to take you.” I lean toward her to give her a small kiss. She moves toward me for more.

  “Get a room!” Eric laughs loud as he flops himself back down in a lounge chair. Why couldn’t he be gone longer?

  “I plan on it.” Sky laughs and kisses me again. Eric’s mouth drops.

  That’s one way to shut him up.

  TWENTY

  Monday after swim practice my arms are rubber. Endurance again. Tomorrow, we’ll do some light swims and practice starts to prepare for the meet. That seems to be the routine.

  I step inside to hear Mom laughing, and then someone else, Sky? “Hello?” I call.

  “Oh.” Mom’s voice is quiet. “He’s here. You change. I’ll be right back.”

  Mom steps out of her room into the hall wearing a huge smile.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Sky dropped by and said she had no idea what was appropriate for Prom. We’ve been playing dress-up.” I’m thrilled Mom’s so happy, but not so sure about her and Sky spending another day together without me. Who knows what kind of embarrassing stuff came up?

  Then I realize the most obvious thing. “Aren’t you two …” How to phrase this nicely… Mom works out hard, but Sky is so thin and athletic. Mom has curves.

  “Yes, Jay. She’s skinnier than me, but I have all these designer dresses your father has bought me over the years, and some fit, some don’t, but she now has choices and will look amazing.” Mom has on a kind of grin that I don’t think I’ve ever seen on her. She looks girly. Not Mom-like.

  “Sky will look amazing, no matter what.” I realize
I’m clutching my pack and let it drop to the floor.

  “Well, aren’t you sweet.” Sky appears in the hall wearing her standard tank and tiny skirt.

  “Come to hang with me?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “Only if you’re quiet, keep your hands off me, and let me study.”

  I don’t even mean to, but I let out this snort or something of disgust.

  “Jameson.” Mom slaps my chest with the back of her hand. “I’ll order pizza and kick my son if he bothers you while you study.” Mom winks at Sky.

  I can tell by the look on Sky’s face that it’s enough to convince her to stay. And I decide it’s actually really cool her and Mom get along. It’ll probably bite me in the ass eventually, but it’s nice to see Mom looking so light.

  The rest of the week passes in a blur of swim meets, school projects, and Sky frantic over finals. I still have time to be excited over our night, but not a lot.

  - - -

  Without being too obvious about it, Matt and I set us up to go together—he and Kaylee, who got special permission from her parents for Prom, and Sky and I. No matter what, it’ll be less awkward than our double with Eric and Sarah. We’re all headed to The Bellagio for dinner, and all leaving Prom early for camping. It seems easier to do it together. I’m sure, at some point, sitting next to Sky, I’ll be sorry we have company. Maybe I’ll get a chance to make up for that if we can share a sleeping bag. After all the talk with Mom about Sky staying over, I’m kind of shocked she’s letting me do this. Guess it’s a perk of your girlfriend getting along with your mom.

  - - -

  My tux feels good. I’m glad I’m a guy. Mom and Sky have been in her room for two hours. Since they’ve started, I’ve had a swim, a snack, a shave, and watched a movie before sliding my tux on. I smooth down my black tie and walk out of my room.

  I hear Sky and Mom from back in Mom’s room. “Can you send a few pictures to my mom?” Sky asks. “She doesn’t check email often, but she does sometimes. I think she’d like to see.”

  “Sure.” Mom laughs. She’s probably just ecstatic to have a girl in the house.

  And then I realize I don’t know much about Sky’s mom. Not even her name. How crazy is that? I don’t know a whole lot about her brother, either. I should ask her later if I’m not too busy with other things. My smile spreads at that thought.

  “I know that look.” Dad’s voice hits me.

  “Dad.” I jerk my head toward the door, surprised.

  “Your mom found me at work and told me I should stop by before you two take off.” He steps inside and stands in the entry, maybe unsure of my reaction. This should be okay, right?

  “Oh.”

  “Where are the girls?” He leans forward and looks around.

  “Getting ready.” I’m afraid to lean on anything or sit down in my tux, like I’ll get all rumpled or something.

  “Of course.” He chuckles. He’s still in the entry. This was his house. Should still be his house.

  I’m sort of amazed Mom’s letting him in here. Actually, I’m not sure how I feel about him being here. I guess it should be fine, right? But just then I lose the air from my lungs. Sky steps out of Mom’s room in a black, knee-length halter dress that makes her look like a goddess.

  “Don’t look so surprised.” Sky laughs. Her eyes sparkle and her hair is pulled up into crazy knots or something on the back of her head.

  “I just…” There aren’t words, and there should be.

  Dad’s eyes catch Mom’s as she walks up the hallway. “The Halston.” He smiles. “Nice choice.”

  “The, what?” I glance between them.

  “It’s the designer.” Mom rolls her eyes.

  “I think we need to get out of here.” I step toward Sky, almost afraid to touch her and all of her gorgeousness. Like she’s suddenly something to be looked at, watched, admired, not touched. She’s in heels. I’ve never seen her in heels before. Her legs are amazing, and I feel like I’m just standing here, drooling.

  “Pull your chin off the floor,” Dad teases. “And let your mom take some pictures.”

  “I’m Sky.” She reaches the hand that’s too perfect to be touched to shake Dad’s hand.

  “Luke. It’s nice to meet you.” He nods and gives no indication that he recognizes her from the parking lot when I yelled.

  “Come on.” Sky takes my hand, and I follow her to the backyard. My brain still isn’t functioning properly. The smooth brown skin of her back is almost completely exposed, there’s no way she’s wearing a bra under there. I don’t want to go to dinner, I don’t want to go to Prom, and I don’t want to go camping. I need to be somewhere I can stand and hold her and run my fingers up and down her back, maybe slide my hands through the front of her dress.

  “Jameson.” Mom’s voice is firm. “Stop drooling and look at the camera.”

  Sky laughs next to me.

  After an eternity we’re off.

  The Restaurant: I stand as tall as I can next to Sky because everyone we pass stares. Everyone. I’m sure I’m grinning like a moron.

  The Dinner: Me sliding my fingers up and down Sky’s back. Sky and Kaylee talk. I think Matt asks me a few questions. Probably I eat something. I vaguely remember steak.

  The Drive: I’m sure people in the car talk about something. I have no idea what it is. I slide my arm across her bare back and tuck my fingers just on the inside of her dress. She doesn’t look uncomfortable. She doesn’t stop me. I might die of happiness.

  The Dance: I don’t care if the music is fast or slow. We’re dancing slow. Sky leans in close, there is no way that I will ever, ever get sick of having my hands on her bare skin. We are asked three times to separate ourselves and dance more appropriately.

  The Departure: When we’re told to leave the dance floor, because we’re apparently not following school dancing guidelines, we decide it’s time to round up the rest of our party and go camping.

  Matt and I decided last week not to tell anyone what we’re doing. I’d rather keep our party small, and these things tend to get out of hand. I’ll get to see Sky’s friends again, and I can’t wait to slide into our sleeping bag together. There’s a lot to look forward to.

  - - -

  “No,” I complain. “Please don’t change out of that dress yet.” Matt’s driving and I’m in the passenger’s seat.

  Sky laughs. “Sorry, Jay, I’m not wearing your mom’s designer dress in a camp chair.”

  “Fine.” I sulk. Maybe I’ll be able to talk her into borrowing it again sometime.

  Matt and I are banished to the front seat so the girls can change in the back. I’m trying hard not to think about it as we drive out to Red Rock. But I’m afraid to look. I’d rather not get an accidental view of Kaylee. She’s just a friend. Too weird.

  Matt and I stare out the front window, not talking, both desperately attempting to be unaware of what’s happening in the backseat. But it’s worse than having an elephant in the room—because we’re in a car. And it’s not an elephant – it’s naked girls.

  We pull up, and there are more people from Sky’s group than last time. I can tell simply by the number of cars paired with the white van. Matt starts setting up his and Kaylee’s tent. I work on mine and Sky’s. As she walks over to help, I notice she’s in those soft yoga pants again and a black tank, no bra.

  “Can I help?” She steps up behind me and slides her arms around my waist.

  I turn and kiss her, pulling her close. This is how I’ve wanted to hold her since she stepped out of Mom’s room. My hands are outside her shirt, but I can’t resist the temptation and slide them up her stomach and over her chest.

  “Excuse you,” she teases, but doesn’t pull away.

  “I’ve touched you there before,” I whisper.

  “It’s not about levels, Jay.”

  “I know.” I put my hands on her face. “But all I can think about is touching you. You leave in just a few days.” I kiss her again.

  She bends h
er face down and lets herself lean forward until her forehead is on my chest.

  The drumming starts around the fire. The low, steady beat is first.

  “Cool,” Matt says. His tent is done. “We’ll see you two over there.” He takes Kaylee’s hand and they disappear into the darkness between our tent and the fire.

  “Yeah.” I’m fumbling in the dark, trying to get the rest of the tent set up. Sky helps and we have it in minutes. I take her hand so we can head for the circle.

  The energy is both exciting, but serious. It’s an amazing thing to participate in. The fire isn’t huge. They’re regulated in campgrounds like this. Well, they’re regulated everywhere, but enforced in the campgrounds. The circle is about twenty-five people big. I don’t count, but at least ten have some sort of drum. Someone goofs the rhythm and they all stop, laughing.

  “Okay, I’ll start.” I recognize Rob with a large drum between his legs. He begins a low beat and they all begin to work with him, slowly turning the beat into something musical.

  “This is amazing. Did you do this at home?” I whisper in her ear.

  “Yeah, pretty often.” She leans her back against me and I wrap my arms around her stomach. “And most go with songs, songs about hunters, or the beginnings of the world or… You can’t be interested.” She chuckles and leans her head into my neck.

  “I am. It’s cool that you’re so connected to your roots. I mean, I speak a few Spanish phrases, but I haven’t even spent that much time with my Dad’s mom.” It sort of hits me. “I’ve never felt bad about it until I realized how connected some people are to their past, and not just their past but recognizing that their roots and their history is a collective one, an important one. Something to be learned, celebrated and remembered.” Did I just say that?

  “Wow, Jay.” She half-turns to look at me. “You got all philosophical on me.”

  “You bring out the best in me.” I smile.

  Her lips find mine and I don’t care about the drumming anymore. “I’m tired,” she whispers between kisses.

  That’s all it takes for me to run with her back to our tent. I have no idea where Matt and Kaylee are, and it’s not my problem.