Redeeming Gavin

by Ella Jade

  “My circumstances are the reason you should have told me.”

  “I see that now.” He took a deep breath. “I hated lying to you but the more time we spent together the harder it got to tell you. I didn’t want you to look at me the way you are now.”

  “You asked me to move in with you so you could help me raise my baby but you didn’t think it was important to tell me your brother was raising your son?”

  “I’ve been struggling with that since the day you told me you were pregnant. You were upfront with me from the get go.”

  “I trusted you with so much. Why couldn’t you tell me?”

  “I wanted to. I needed to tell you. That’s why I was having that conversation with Brody. I wanted to make sure he and Claudia were okay with me telling you. I made promises to them to protect Jason.”

  “From me?”

  “No.” He took her hand because he needed to feel a connection with her. Something... anything. “Let’s sit down and we can discuss this. I’ll explain everything.” He had to fix this. He couldn’t lose her. “You can ask me anything you want.”

  “You’re a little late for explanations.”

  “Don’t say that.” He had to get her to listen. His future, their future hinged on this conversation. “I was wrong. I should have been honest from the beginning but I didn’t know how you would react knowing I already had a child that I didn’t–”

  “Want?” She tugged out of his hold.

  “No! I... it’s complicated. I didn’t believe Claudia was really pregnant and then when I realized she was I didn’t believe the baby was mine. I made a lot of mistakes.”

  “You slept with your brother’s girlfriend?”

  “No.” He didn’t want to rehash the past but there could be no half-truths. He couldn’t tell her some of the story. She needed to know the whole history. “Brody and Claudia got together after. She was already pregnant and had decided to do it alone.”

  “Like us.”

  “I know,” he said. “It took me a while to accept the irony. I didn’t think this situation was right for me in the beginning. I struggled with having any feelings for you. I’m a hypocrite.”

  “Why did you walk away from them? Even if you didn’t want to be with Claudia, why would you walk away from your son?”

  “I understand where you’re coming from that’s what it looks like to you, but it was a crazy set of circumstances. Brody had fallen in love with Claudia, and Jason, before he was even born. Two years ago I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be a father. Jason deserved better.”

  “How do you know you weren’t going to be better than Brody?”

  “Oh, trust me, Brody is exactly where he should be.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It doesn’t matter. My decision has been made for quite some time. These are my demons. My past.” He didn’t want someone to make him feel worse for the sins he tried to leave in the past. He didn’t want her to look at him with pity and disgust. This was why he didn’t want to tell her. “I can’t change what I did but I’m trying to move forward.”

  “I’ve been asking you to open up to me. I knew you were keeping something but I wanted to give you time. I wanted you to know I’m here for you.”

  “This wasn’t easy for me to keep from you.” How could he expect her to understand when he didn’t fully understand his actions? “I was ashamed of what I did to my family. To my father’s legacy. To my son.” There was a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach when he thought about Jason.

  “I share everything with you.”

  “And I want to share everything with you.”

  “How can I believe that? You knew my circumstances.” He’d never heard her raise her voice but the more she talked, the louder her tone became. “You had so many opportunities to tell me.” She backed away from him. “Is that why it was so easy for you to ask Carson to give up his rights? Is it something your family just expects when they want something?”

  “We do a lot of things when we want something. That’s who we are.”

  “I don’t know what to say or think.” She paced the room. “You’ve been lying to me for months. You made be believe you were someone else. Someone who I thought was on my side and understood what I was going through.”

  “I’ve never pretended with you. I am that person.”

  Am I? Did he even believe he was the man he’d been pretending to be when he first met her? The one he managed to morph into these past few months? Maybe she was better off without him. What right did he have to think he was worthy of her love and trust? Not after everything he had done.

  “You want honesty?” He might as well put it all out there. If she could handle all of his past then he’d know she was the one. Or maybe that honesty would make her turn and walk away. In his heart, he knew that was the best option for her.

  “When Claudia told me she was pregnant, I threw her out of here. She was in this apartment, in my bed when she told me. I didn’t believe there was a baby. I thought she was a liar.” He remembered the hurt in Claudia’s eyes when he accused her of trying to play him. The horrible things he said about her being a housekeeper. “I used her for sex. I was in a relationship with someone else but that didn’t stop me. I took her virginity. I made her think I was interested in her. She thought we were friends.”

  Justine was horrified but Gavin kept going. He had to tell her everything.

  “That’s the kind of man I was. That’s why I didn’t tell you because when I say it out loud, it’s real and it stings but it’s the truth no matter how awful it sounds.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “Carson is just irresponsible but I’m cold and calculated. I used my child as a pawn to get what I wanted. In the end, Brody was willing to walk away from it all. Just hand the whole company over to me. The only thing that mattered to him was Claudia and Jason’s happiness.” I get that now. “So I did the right thing and walked away.”

  “You’ve been lying to me for months. How am I supposed to know who you really are?”

  “If after spending all of that time with me and everything we’ve shared, you have to ask yourself that question then what hope is there for the two of us?”

  “That’s not fair. I just learned a devastating secret from your past. One that doesn’t paint a very good picture of you.”

  He nodded, not putting up much of an argument because she had to come to terms with what he had done in her own time. She had to make a choice, and from the disgusted look in her normally wide, bright eyes, he knew which way she was leaning.

  “If you were willing to walk away from your child how can I trust that you won’t walk away from me and my child? What would keep you with me?”

  “I could never walk away from you, but I don’t think there is anything I can say right now that would convince you of anything. I should have been honest with you but the more I fell for you the more afraid I became that you would walk away from me.”

  “That first night we were together, you asked me to redeem you. Is that what you meant?” The realization was evident in her expression. “Was I supposed to be some kind of do over for you?”

  “Of course not.” He wished he had the right words to make this better. “I tried not to allow myself to get close to you because of my past. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “I trusted you.” She stared at him as if he had answers but he didn’t. “I made up my mind and decided I wanted to move in with you because I thought we could build a life together. I believed you accepted me. Wanted me for me.”

  “I do and we can still build a life together. I never lied about the way I feel about you. Everything we’ve experienced is all real. I love you and nothing will change that.”

  “This is too much for me.”

  He wasn’t surprised when she headed for the foyer. He followed but not to stop her as she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her jacket.

  “I can’t deal with this.” She
wiped the tears from her cheeks as she bent down and picked up her bag. “It isn’t just me I have to protect.”

  “I understand.” He stepped toward her, trapping her between the door and his body. “Whatever you think about me you’re entitled to.” He cupped the side of her face in his hand, his own heart breaking as the tears flowed down her face. “I can’t let you leave here thinking you were some kind of penance for me. You are everything for me.” He gently pressed his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly, pouring it all into that connection because he feared it would be their last. “I love you.”

  She sobbed before turning in his arms and opening the door. “Goodbye.” She hurried to the elevator, pushing the button without looking at him.

  He gazed down at his feet as the doors closed because he couldn’t handle seeing her leave. Leaning against the door frame, he held back his emotions. If he let go, he’d have to accept the reality that she was gone. Reaching into his pocket, he took out the ring he’d planned to give her tonight. He’d ruined any chance of her understanding what he had done. Redemption? Some men just weren’t worth redeeming.

  Chapter Sixteen

  By Monday afternoon, a team of lawyers had come up with the grounds to dismiss Jackie. The nondisclosure she had signed when accepting employment also included Brody and Gavin’s personal lives. When she told Justine about what she’d overheard in their private conversation on Callahan property she violated the terms.

  Gavin sat back and listened as Brody delivered the news.

  “We thought you had a promising future here,” Brody said. “But if we can’t trust you then there is no reason for you to stay.”

  “I didn’t realize Justine didn’t know about...”

  When Gavin glared at her she backed off. “We’re not really sure how that came up in conversation.” He tried to keep quiet but the mere sight of her enraged him. “I wanted you out of here weeks ago but my brother gave you the benefit of the doubt because of your skills. It’s unfortunate that you proved him wrong.”

  “I apologize for my mistake. I’d still be willing to relocate to your satellite office. It’s probably best that the three of us don’t deal with one another. I can still be an asset to your company.”

  “That’s not going to work for us,” Brody said. “I’m offering that you leave here without any other ramifications for listening to a private conversation in this building between me and my brother. It didn’t concern you.”

  “I realize that but–”

  “I’m speaking now.” Brody stood from his desk, buttoning his jacket. “Not only did you listen to that conversation but you felt it necessary to tell an employee who I specifically asked you have no contact with.”

  “You chose to undermine my authority when you rehired her,” Jackie said. “How can I be expected to do my job in an environment where the owners keep hiring their girlfriends?”

  “Are you kidding me? When we chose to rehire her? Whose company is this?” Gavin moved toward door. “Brody, can we get on with this. I’m losing my patience.”

  “You’re not the only one,” his brother said. “Ms. Flint, we’re letting you go. If you violate the NDA again I promise you there will be consequences. I have a whole team of attorneys who can make your life a living hell. I’ll personally see to it that you never work in New York or any other major city in this country or abroad. The Callahans have a far reach. Don’t test me.”

  “You’re saying I’m free to go? You’re not going to pursue this?”

  “I’d rather not given the sensitive nature of the information you possess about our family.”

  “I understand.”

  “I’m serious when I say don’t challenge me. If you come at my family you’ll be sorry. If you value your career you should walk out of here and forget we exist.”

  “Fine.” She stood, straightening her skirt. “I’m sorry it ended this way. I envisioned a long career with Callahan Industries.”

  “You had a strange way of showing it.” Gavin opened the door as she walked past him. “Security is waiting to escort you from the building.”

  “That’s not necessary.”

  “I believe it is.” Gavin motioned for the two men standing in the hall. “Please escort Ms. Flint to her office so she can retrieve her things. Once she’s out of the building please inform us.”

  Jackie stepped into the hall but before she left she turned and glared at Gavin. “For what it’s worth, your girlfriend didn’t believe a word I said. She thinks you’re the most amazing man in the world. A real prince.” She laughed. “I guess the joke’s on her.”

  “Considering you just lost a well-paid position with the potential to have a long and prosperous career over something that’s none of your business, I’d say the joke’s on you.”

  She pushed past security and headed down the hall.

  Good riddance!

  “Ignore her.” Brody joined him by the door. “She’s not worth our time.”

  “Do you think she’ll keep quiet?” Gavin asked.

  “Does it really matter?” Brody shrugged. “We have a family secret. Who doesn’t?”

  “Most secrets aren’t like this one.”

  “I don’t think she’ll say anything to anyone who really matters. I left a document on her desk explaining all the legal ramifications if she violates the NDA again. That and the fact that she’ll never work anywhere significant again if she blabs should be enough to keep her quiet.”

  “If it isn’t we’ll deal with it.”

  “As a family.” Brody nodded. “We’ve gotten through the hard part. I have my brother back.”

  “I’m glad to be back.” He patted Brody’s shoulder. “I guess time does heal.”

  “Speaking of healing, have you heard from Justine?”

  He shook his head. It had been a few days since she’d left his house. He’d wanted to go to her but what would he say?

  “Time can heal that too,” Brody offered. “If you mean as much to her as she does to you I’m confident you can work this out.”

  “Thanks.” Gavin stepped into the hallway. “I have to make a few calls.”

  “Good.” Brody smirked. “Get back to work. That will heal you much faster than time.”

  “You would think that way.”

  Gavin headed down the hall, turning the corner just in time to catch Jason running toward him at full speed. “Whoa, little man. What’s the rush?” He held him in his arms. “You’re getting so big.”

  “Gavin!” Jason squealed.

  “That’s Uncle Gavin but I’ll take it.” He laughed as he threw him in the air. “What are you doing here?”

  “Jason?” Claudia came toward them. “He’s so fast.”

  “I see that.”

  “All he talked about in the car on the way here was coming to see you and Brody, and the boats.” She smiled at Gavin and for the first time in years, he didn’t see the dread in her eyes. “I’m glad he found you.”

  “Me too.” Gavin gave the boy a hug. “I needed to see him today.”

  “Down!” Jason pointed to the floor. “I want to run.”

  “Oh boy.” Gavin looked at Claudia. “Are you ready to chase him?”

  “What choice do I have?” She kissed Jason’s cheek. “You’re going to keep me busy today.”

  “Maybe you could stop by my office before you go and I can take him out to see the boats?”

  “He’d like that.”

  “Great.” When Gavin placed Jason on his feet, he took off toward Brody’s office. “Thank you.”

  “Anytime.” Claudia smiled at him before chasing after Jason. “I’m gonna get you.” She laughed as she ran down the hall.

  Gavin watched as they ran around the corner. He couldn’t help but think Brody was right. Maybe time did heal. Maybe they could start moving forward as a family and put the past where it belonged. Now it was time for him to get back to work. When he turned, his gaze connected with Justine’s. She stood at the end of the hall
appearing as breathtaking as the first time he’d seen her. No, she was even more beautiful now that her belly was full with life. Carson was a fool to walk away from her.

  “Justine.” He moved toward her but stopped before he got too close. If he was too close, he’d want to touch her. If he touched her, he’d have to kiss her. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “You, ah...” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. Seeing you with Jason, it...”

  “Come on.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her into his office, shutting the door behind them. “Don’t be upset. I’m lucky enough to have Jason in my life.”

  “I guess but I...” She rubbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t come to talk about that.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I came because of this.” She reached into her bag and took out the envelope with his attorney’s name on it. “I can’t accept this. You have to stop whatever you put in motion here.”

  “I can’t do that.” He pointed for her to have a seat. “How are you feeling? How’s little?”

  “We’re fine.”

  “Good.” He sat next to her on the couch. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

  “You’ve been on my mind too.”

  “If you’re ready to talk I’d like to explain. There’s no excuse for me keeping that secret from you all that time. I have no defense.”

  “Gavin.” She sighed. “This is a lot for me to process.”

  “I know.” I’d give anything to make this right. “You’re here because of those papers.” If he hadn’t sent them would she have contacted him at all? “I didn’t send them so that you’d come to me but I’m glad that was the result.”

  “Who needs this much money a month?”

  “I wasn’t sure what the right number would be.” He’d set up a monthly payment to help her raise her child. He’d also established a trust for the child’s future.

  “I’m not your responsibility. Neither is this baby.”

  “If things had worked out the way I had hoped you would have been mine. I would have set up the trust for little either way.”