Break Me

by Amanda Heath

  Rachel rummages around for a second before closing her locker door. “No. Believe it or not, I like you. I don’t need you to make my brother happy, because you make me happy. If I was just into this because of him, I would have stopped talking to you the second you sent that text message.”

  Well that’s nice to know. We walk out of the school together and I notice Kellan Dean standing by her car long before we get there. “Ummm…do you want me to meet you later?”

  Rachel scowls when she notices him there. “Hell no. He cornered me in the girl’s bathroom during second period. He can wait till tonight.”

  When we get to her car, the look on his face is priceless. He looks at me then at Rachel. “No Kellan, you didn’t smoke too much weed during lunch. Wesley here is my new best friend. She doesn’t ask anything of me and she listens when I have something to say.”

  “Does your brother know this?” he asks, disbelief still written all over his face.

  She rolls her eyes. “Duh. He would notice when I bring home a tiny cute blonde. Not when I sneak a hot brunette through my window at night.”

  Kellan swallows hard and I want to laugh. He is really scared of Royal. “Well then. I’ll call you later, princess.” He walks over to her, not caring about who can see him and wraps his arms around her waist. He nuzzles her cheek and my heart melts. “Don’t have too much fun without me. I’ll be missing you till then.” He whispers all this, but since my elbow is still linked with Rachel’s, I hear it all.

  She sighs all dreamy like. “I’ll miss you, too.” Then they share an altogether hot kiss, which shouldn’t have been in public.

  Later, when we are sitting at a back booth in Selma’s, this beautiful café in Meadows, she tells me, “Okay, I promised I wouldn’t force you to talk to Royal, but I am going to force you to talk about him.”

  I knew this was coming. I take a bite out of my cinnamon roll and look her in the eyes. “I really care about your brother. I really want to be with him. But it’s one of those things that will never work out. I’m always going to be in love with Trey. It’s not fair to him to start a relationship and put him through shit. I don’t want him to hurt because of it.”

  Rachel’s mouth drops open and anger darkens her eyes. “Are you really that dense?” Then she smacks me in the arm. “Oh my god! We all know you are going to love Trey forever. That’s not something you ever get over. Yeah, if he had cheated and dumped you for a slut, you’d be over him by now. It’s the fact he was still with you that makes it okay. It’s okay to always love him, Wesley. No one will ask you not to love him. But are you really going to go the rest of your life alone? Because that’s what this means. You won’t give your heart to anyone else because Trey has a piece of it? Royal has a piece of it too or you wouldn’t be worried that you’re going to hurt him.

  “Royal knows you still love Trey. He wants you to love him too.” Then she pauses and chews on the inside of her cheek. I don’t know about you but I really wanted to hear the rest of this. “He loves you, Wesley. He would give you the world if you let him. He talks about you all the time. He has for weeks. I even remember when he saw you dressed up as a duchess. I think he’s been smitten ever since.”

  My breathing became labored at some point and I stammer out, “What?”

  Rachel grabs my hand and holds it tightly. My own foul-mouthed anchor. “He. Loves. You. He won’t come out of his room unless he has to go to school. Channing comes over to see him and stuff, but that’s it. He sits in there and writes music on his guitar and plays stupid love songs day and night. I’m actually surprised Channing hasn’t been to see you. You don’t hurt his Royal without payback.” Then she leans in close and whispers, “If those two were gay, they would be the perfect couple.”

  This shocks me so much I laugh and snort at the same time. “Do you think I could love him, too?”

  She pretends to think on this for a moment and grins. “I think you’ve been in love with him since the first time he called you Duchess. You just don’t want to see it because that means a dead guy and a guy full of life are sharing your heart. But that’s okay. No one gets to dictate how you divide your heart. Love is love no matter what form it comes in.”

  “You should really think about a career in what your mom does,” I tell her, laughing at her expression.

  She waves me off with a flick of her hand. “Please. I want to write romance novels. There is nothing better in this world than love. I want to write a story that shows someone how love can change your entire life. I want people to see my books and know they are going home with a great story that shows you what real love looks like.”

  I hug her neck and say, “I think you’d be perfect at that.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Wesley Ann Bridges!” My named being screamed, instantly wakes me up. I fell asleep on my hand and as I lift up my head, I shake my hand to relieve the tingling. Then I start rubbing sleep out of my eyes as I hear footsteps stomping up the stairs. Annabella walks into my room a moment later. I’m only wearing one of Trey’s shirts so I quickly throw my bedspread over my exposed legs.

  “What?” I say, grumpily.

  The look on her face makes me instantly alert. That’s Annabella’s “I’m fucking pissed at you and you are going to die” look. “You better explain and you better explain fast. Why the fuck is Royal Sanders sending you flowers?” Her voice is sharp as nails and cuts my skin with every word.

  I gulp, so not ready for this at ten in the morning. “I have no idea, Annabella,” I mumble, all but ready to lie my ass off. There is nothing between Royal and I anymore.

  “They are pink roses!” she screams, throwing one pink rose at me. I let it fall to the bed so I don’t get pricked. “How did he know you liked pink roses? Huh?” She shoves her hands on her hips, her face more red than I have ever seen.

  The one thing I hate the most about fighting with Annabella is that we know each other too well. In a minute she is going to start hitting below the belt. Then I’ll start hitting below the belt, and I know Pierce is around here somewhere. This is going to get ugly real fast.

  I climb off my bed and get a pair of yoga pants out of my dresser. I moved back into my room once the mirror was replaced and my room looked more like my own. I shove my legs through the pants and pull them up. I shove around Annabella and run down to the first floor. There is a vase of pink roses sitting on the end table placed in the hallway. I pick the card up and read it before Annabella snatches it out of my hand.

  Wes,

  You might think it’s over but it’s not. I won’t let you go without a fight. So be prepared to be courted like those English ladies you like so much.

  Love,

  Royal

  “Oh my god,” I say out loud, my mouth hanging open. My heart wants to beat out of my chest in happiness. He remembered when I told him I had always wanted to be courted like the women in my novels. And he remembered my favorite flowers. Well he has that on Trey. Trey couldn’t remember small things like that.

  “Why would you do this? You know how much we hate them!” Annabella screams and I wince, hating how the sound scratches around my skin.

  I turn toward her and take her in. Long, honey-colored hair pulled up in a high ponytail. Feather earrings that reach her shoulders and a matching necklace, but it hangs in-between her breasts. Her red long sleeve blouse Donovan bought her for Christmas last year matched with skinny jeans and black leather boots. This is something I have always found annoying about Annabella. She always looks nice. She gets up at the crack of dawn every day just to get ready for school. “That’s the problem with you Annabella. You hate everyone.” My voice is almost a whisper and I worry she didn’t hear me. I don’t have the courage to say it again.

  “You hate them, too! You’re always talking shit about them with us!” She is still screaming and I’m worried everyone in my house is about to witness this show.

  “No, Annabella. I don’t hate any of them. I love Ash, don’t
get me wrong. But her shit with Channing is not our problem. If Channing wants to be cut off from his sister, then I imagine he has a good reason.” I spy Pierce walking up the sidewalk from the window in my front door. “I know you don’t want to hear me say all this, but I’m sorry, I can’t keep pretending with you.”

  Pierce sees us standing in the entryway and quickly opens the door after noticing the way both of us are standing. “What’s going on now? Can’t you two go a couple years between fallouts?”

  Annabella turns around to face him. I close my eyes because I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face or the hurt. “Wesley has been seeing Royal Sanders behind our backs!”

  “Wh-what?” Pierce sputters. I keep my eyes firmly closed. I feel him brush past me, heading for the flowers. I hear him growl and the noise makes me shudder. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I haven’t heard Pierce this mad in a really long time.

  “I think it’s time you both left.” Shock races down my body when I hear Bentley speak, his voice wise beyond his years. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to this bullshit. Wesley has been through enough. She doesn’t need either of you giving her a hard time about Royal. She feels like shit enough because she gave him up. Because of you two!” I open my eyes and turn around to see him descending the stairs. He isn’t wearing a shirt, only plaid sleeping pants, so I assume we woke him up. His face is beet red, just like Annabella’s. “Get the hell out! I’m not playing around. This is our house. You’re not going to yell at my sister like you fucking own the fucking world. You two need a goddamn wake up call. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone is going to follow your every move.”

  Pierce and Annabella wear matching shocked faces; their mouths dropped open staring at Bentley. I grab Bentley’s hand and squeeze it, letting him know I am thankful. But I have to handle this on my own. “He’s right, you need to leave. I’m not going to listen to both of you putting me down for a relationship I’m not even in. And if I want to be with Royal or whoever, then you can’t say shit. It’s my decision. Neither of you have anything to do with it. Plus, you need to remember what relationships you’re in to begin with.” With those parting words I head up the stairs, pulling Bentley behind me.

  I don’t watch them leave and I refuse to feel bad about anything I have done.

  ***

  Thanksgiving is coming up this week, and right now I’m not looking forward to it. I haven’t heard from either Pierce or Annabella since this morning. It’s freaking Saturday and I’m bored. Rachel texted me earlier this afternoon inviting me to a party at her house. I don’t know if I’m up for all that. No doubt Royal will be there and that will make everything just awkward.

  A few hours later, I’m so bored I don’t care who I see at the party. I pull out some jeans and a blue shirt. I’m not sure it is even clean. When have I ever cared what I look like?

  I knock on Bentley’s door but he doesn’t answer. I open it a crack and find he isn’t even here. I wonder when he left as I make my way down the stairs. It saddens me to realize I’m the only one home. Mom and dad went into Dallas for dinner hours ago. That’s fine because they hardly get any time alone together. I have no idea where Bentley went. I kind of want to text him to find out, but he might be on a date and that’s just too weird for me.

  I find my car keys buried under junk mail in the kitchen. I lock all the doors before I head out the front door. I’m just letting go of the doorknob when I feel someone behind me. God I hope its not Pierce or Annabella.

  I slowly turn around and find who I was dreading the most. Annabella hasn’t changed since this morning, but she redid her makeup. Pierce has on a dark grey t-shirt and leather jacket. They both have their arms crossed over their chests and I feel like I’m about to get arrested. “Can we do this later?” I squeak out.

  Pierce steps out first and the porch light shines on his face. He looks beaten down. “I’m really sorry, Wesley. Ash sat both of us down and had a talking to us. Apparently Bentley called, the little traitor.”

  I shrug. “He was always more loyal to her than you two.” Which makes me so proud. It was really hard for Bentley to get close to the three of us because we have always been the three of us. Ash though, she took him right under her wing. She might appear meek and timid but she is far from it.

  Pierce flinches and I kind of want to smile. I don’t know why it feels good to see him figure out his mistakes. “It might take me a long time to get used to it, but I will…agree to disagree…about your boyfriend. I don’t like him but Bentley told Ash he was the one there for you when we got stupid.”

  I don’t reply right away. I wonder about his words and then I decide to forgive him. Pierce has spent his whole high school career pissed off at Channing. He doesn’t even know him or Royal. He had no right to be mad that I was seeing him. But that doesn’t matter in the long run because I’m not going to see him anymore. “You’re forgiven. I just want you to know, I didn’t do it to piss you off or hurt you. He’s a really good guy, he made losing Trey easier. But that’s all over now.”

  Annabella steps forward, uncrossing and re-crossing her arms over her chest. “Are you sure? That note seemed like he wasn’t going to let you go.” She chews on her lip like she wants to say more but doesn’t know how. Then she takes a deep breath and says it anyway. “I thought that was pretty awesome of him. He doesn’t want to let you go, so he’s going to act out one of your fantasies. One I have always found to be odd and stupid, but then again, it’s yours not mine.”

  Pierce scrunches his face up in disgust. “I wouldn’t say fantasy. More like a dream. Fantasy implies sex and I don’t want to hear about their sex life.”

  Annabella and I both laugh at him, but in a good naturedly kind of way. “Well if it makes you feel better, the sex was amazing.” I grin real big as Pierce turns green.

  Annabella walks up the steps and hugs me tightly. “I’m sorry we went psycho on you. Sometimes it just takes an older, wiser person to put you in your place.” Then she giggles. “Or a younger, wiser person to kick you out. It doesn’t matter how we came to our senses, it just matters that we have.”

  Annabella passes me to Pierce once we get to the bottom of the steps. His arms wrap around my shoulders and I smile, breathing him in. “I just want you to be happy. And if Royal Sanders makes you happy, I don’t give a shit if you’re with him.”

  “I’m glad you said that, because we are headed to their party. I feel like crashing tonight,” I tell him, moving toward my Kia. They both hate my driving so they groan when I climb in the driver’s seat. “Let’s go, dickholes!”

  ***

  This was the stupidest idea I have ever had. Royal is shitfaced and sitting on the couch just staring at me. At least Kellan and Rachel are flirting near him and he’s not trying to beat Kellan up. Kellan’s cousin, Brody, and his girlfriend, Lola, are damn near having sex on the couch. But if you share a class that they are both in, this isn’t anything new. It’s a wonder they haven’t had a baby yet. “Do you feel weird? I feel weird,” Annabella mumbles to Pierce behind me.

  Pierce doesn’t say anything, but I can see him in my head nodding his head. Good. After the scene this morning, they need some payback. Though I’m starting to realize that I’m making myself feel weird, mainly for the fact that Royal won’t stop staring at me.

  “What the fuck did we just walk into?” Ugh. That voice! My thighs instantly tighten and I kind of want to hit him. But I can’t, considering I think he’s pretty cool.

  “I don’t know, baby.” I turn to see Paisley Vaughn shrug her shoulders while standing next to Channing.

  He leans down and moves her sweater a little off her shoulder. He bends over it and kisses her bare skin. If I’m not mistaken, I think she has a bite mark there. Gross. “I’m going to go talk to Royal. You take care of Wesley,” he tells her after lifting his head. Then he presses his forehead to hers. “Don’t get tired. I’ll be keeping you up all night.”

 
; My face wants to scowl but I don’t because that was kind of hot. Channing winks at me on his way to Royal and I refrain from laughing. I’m starting to realize Channing is a sneaky bastard.

  “Hi, Wesley,” Paisley says to me, holding out her hand. “I’m Paisley.”

  I roll my eyes before taking her hand. “I know who you are. The Cinderella of Meadows.” Pierce snickers behind me and she glares at him.

  Then she’s scowling at me. “Look, I don’t know you, you don’t know me.” She crosses her arms over her chest and looks over my shoulder. I assume to peer at Royal, who is still shitfaced drunk sitting on the couch staring at me. I know because I can feel heat wherever his eyes touch me. “I do know that Royal is like my brother, and you’re hurting him. Which is hurting me. So we have a problem.”

  At first I’m a little ticked off. So is Pierce, who I know is tense behind me. I can feel the waves of anger. He really needs to see someone about that. Then I realize she might have a little insight, considering she is dating Channing. “How do you do it?” I question, adding a look like pleading to my eyes. If there is one thing you should know about Paisley, she has a huge heart. She might act like a badass, but if someone is hurting, she wants to fix it.

  “Do what?” She asks, uncrossing her arms and leaning closer to me.

  “Be with one of them? I mean, I have money too, but my money isn’t good money. They have old money. They have trust funds that were set up before they were even thought of.” I pause and look down at the floor. “I know you are like that now, but you weren’t raised that way. You’re from the wrong side of the tracks. And Channing is a freaking god.” I feel myself blush when I look over at Royal. “So is Royal.” This is all total bullshit because I have no problem with my money or his money. This is just me trying to play on her heartstrings.