True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  Desdemona laughed. “I would have needed one definitely.”

  The woman seemed to be relaxing a little more around her, and that was probably a good thing, since she was going to go out on a limb and take one for the Blackhawk team. “It’s one of my fondest memories of all time. Topless Natives doing yard work.”

  “They are definitely brothers. The matching tattoos were hard to miss.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Yeah, they certainly are brothers. I like the ones on their arms, but the raven on Ethan is my favorite.”

  Desdemona noticed she didn’t mention her favorite one on Callen, and she suspected it was the heart with her initials on his back. Yeah, it was hard not to notice the beautiful script inside the heart, and she needed to change the subject, as she felt a wave of jealousy. “Thanks for not telling them about the gun in your face last night.”

  “Girlfriend code strictly prohibits me telling the opposite sex anything like that.” Elizabeth let it hang there in the air between them. She opened the door and was giving the doctor a chance to walk through it or walk away. It had to be her choice, and she figured the woman deserved a shot. It wasn’t only for what she did for her, but because she’d walk on glass for Callen Whitefox, and he asked her personally to keep the woman safe.

  Desdemona didn’t know what to say. In all her life she never had a girlfriend, unless you counted her sister. “Thank god for the girlfriend code,” she said, standing and joining her new friend.

  “Coffee Desdemona?”

  “Absolutely, Elizabeth.”

  * * *

  She stood in her secret hideaway and admired the collection. Lying behind her was the love of her life. He was silent now, and saying nothing, but that would come to an end soon. Shortly, he would be back to his old self, and then everything would be perfect again.

  When she leaned over his body, she patted his dried cheek. No longer were there the horrific smells of decay lingering. His body was past that stage, and soon he’d be ready to be put back together again.

  Piece by piece.

  Part by part.

  Limb by limb.

  “What should be next, my love?” she asked and waited for his reply.

  “Excellent choice, darling. I shall find you some eyes, so you can gaze into my face and see how much I love you.

  * * *

  Elizabeth and Desdemona Adare stood in the kitchen together drinking coffee. Both women were dressed, but completely different. Elizabeth was a creature of habit. Today she was wearing a black stretchy top that was tucked into her well-worn low rise jeans. At Elizabeth’s hip was her gun and badge. She brought her cowboy boots, but wasn’t sure if she’d wear them or not. Something about the boots just gave her a sense of security, and always had since leaving home for the FBI. It was like carrying a piece of home with her everywhere, and she didn’t want to ruin them. It may be a snow boot kind of day.

  Desdemona was going to be in the lab all day working, and she wanted to be comfortable. She was wearing tights with tiny little skulls across them, and a little pleated plaid skirt and simple black sweater. For shoes she went with Mary Janes, only because they had the biggest heel, and she didn’t want to feel too short standing beside Elizabeth.

  Whatever had happened last night between them was monumental. It was as if she fell down the rabbit hole and landed in another dimension. She was still hesitant, but she was pretty sure that Elizabeth was no longer going to be an issue. Already she felt comfortable around her, and welcomed into her circle.

  When Ethan wandered into the kitchen, he was surprised to find the two women bonding over a tech report.

  “Ethan!” She smiled and rushed at him, happy to see her husband. When she went into his arms he hugged her close to his body.

  “Lyzee, are you feeling okay? You can stay here today and we’ll head in,” he offered, and she just smiled up at him.

  “Nope, I’m feeling great.” Elizabeth kissed him slow and deep. Yeah, she knew there was someone in the room, but she loved him so damn much. After all, he rushed into the room in his boxers to save her from some imaginary bad guy.

  “I guess you are,” he said laughing, after she broke the kiss. He hugged her close to his body and felt calmness wash over him. “Morning Doctor, How are you today?” he asked, politely.

  “I’m well, Director.”

  She sat up all night watching over his wife and the least he could do is help heal the group a little. “Please, call me Ethan.”

  Desdemona smiled. “Then lose the Doctor title. Desdemona is fine by me.” She sipped her coffee. That’s when she noticed him. Callen Whitefox stood in the doorway and his hair was still wet from the shower. He too was dressed like Elizabeth, but in a white shirt and the same worn jeans.

  “Is that coffee,” he asked, and then stole Elizabeth’s from the counter.

  “Hey!” She sucker punched him in the side when he walked past her. “You better hope pregnancy never becomes contagious,” she teased, and winked at Doctor Adare. “You’re going to look silly with a baby bump.”

  “Nice, but I don’t think I can pull off pregnant and still be this damn sexy,” he teased back, and noticed that Desdemona was smiling and laughing with them.

  “What’s our plans for today, team?” Elizabeth asked, pouring another cup of coffee.

  Desdemona raised her hand. “Five autopsies.”

  “I’m on missing person reports and AFIS as soon as the doctor gets me some prints,” said Whitefox.

  “I’m going to be monitoring the tech team to make sure they’re taking care of everything,” answered her husband. “What are you doing?” he asked her. Whatever it was, he hoped it involved staying inside and safe.

  “I’m planning on hounding the ME until she gives me what I want.”

  “You're going to wish that room had a lock on the door. Doctor Leonard locks her out all the time,” offered her husband.

  Elizabeth looked over at her very sexy husband. “You seem to forget who you sleep with, Darlin’,” she drawled.

  Callen grinned at her, loving how the southern came out expectantly.

  Desdemona shook her head. “You can harass me all you want. I’m fine with it. I can use an assistant in autopsy today. You can record the data as I do the processing. It’s faster if I don’t have to keep removing my gloves to type in info and fill out the sheets. I don’t want internal goo all over my new tablet. My boss won’t requisition a new one for me.”

  “No, she really won’t,” she said, laughing.

  “You going to be okay dealing with autopsy Elizabeth? You looked a little queasy at the scene yesterday?”

  “What? Are you okay?” Blackhawk nearly choked on his coffee. Elizabeth had an iron clad stomach. She never got queasy in autopsy.

  Whitefox laughed at his brother’s response. “Ethan, it was an eye thing,” he said, covering for Elizabeth. He noticed the women were playing nice, and he was hoping it would be a better day, but he’d learned his lesson and wasn’t going to betray Elizabeth with giving away too much information. It was her not well known Achilles heel. Callen would protect her secrets as well as she carried his.

  “Oh, okay.” Blackhawk visibly relaxed.

  “You have a thing with corpse eyes?” Desdemona asked, curiously.

  Both men looked at her, unsure what she’d say.

  Elizabeth weighed all the options and looked over at her husband and brother-in-law. Both were offering her the same look. She didn’t need to share anything she was uncomfortable with. “Two years ago my partner and I were on a stakeout, and we were both shot. He died in the car, and one of the last things I remember about the entire thing was him staring at me as he died. Since then, dead eyes freak me out.”

  Desdemona nodded, understanding. “My big ick is when I have to take the scalp off and do the cranial exam. Creeps me out every time,” she admitted. “So I get that. I promise no dead eyes.”

  “Deal. I’m okay with scalps and skulls, if you want to walk
me through it. It may come in handy if Callen keeps stealing my coffee.”

  The man snorted. “Just try it, and yours goes too, beautiful.”

  “Then I’ll have to kick your ass,” added Blackhawk laughing. “I married her because of that hair.”

  “Yeah, that’s the only reason you married her,” Whitefox snorted, knowing what lured his brother in, because it was probably the same thing that caught him.

  “We should clear this up once and for all,” said Elizabeth. “He married me for the sex.”

  “Jesus, Elizabeth!” Blackhawk choked on his coffee. “Really?” Now he gave her the look.

  Yeah, that’s pretty much what Whitefox thought, as he gave her a fist bump for tormenting his brother so easily. Ethan Blackhawk was very straight-laced. Callen knew that if he was sleeping with Elizabeth, he’d hire a sky writer. They were complete opposites.

  Desdemona was thoroughly entertained by the three of them. They obviously had a good relationship. They teased each other, but were incredibly close. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear she was married to both of them, equally. That was the vibe they gave off, as one working unit. Yeah, she was jealous as hell.

  “Back on topic, please,” suggested Blackhawk.

  “I’ll take the help, Elizabeth, and then this should only take eight hours instead of ten,” she laughed, placing her cup down. “I’ll go get my things ready,” she said, and headed out of the room.

  “Okay, Desi,” Whitefox answered.

  As he went to take a sip of the coffee, she timed it just right. “I spit in the coffee today, Cal.” She started laughing when he choked on it and his eyes watered.

  Blackhawk kissed her on the head and walked away. “God, I love you,” he said grinning, and then whispered in her ear. “It was absolutely the sex and how mean you can be.”

  Elizabeth winked at him. She was well aware.

  It looked like his family was back to normal again. “While you two torment each other, I think I’ll go call Gabe and get him to push the lab people.” He picked up his coffee and carried it with him just in case she wasn’t just teasing him. From the difference in energy in the room he figured everything was better, but they needed time to work out the previous evening.

  “Evil,” Whitefox stated laughing, as he wiped coffee from his chin.

  “I try,” she replied, grinning at the man.

  When Callen reached for her, she didn’t evade. The hugs they shared were a common occurrence between them. Elizabeth truly loved him, and when Callen picked her up off the ground, she whispered in his ear and caught him off guard.

  “You have part of my heart, and I love you too, Callen. I promise to keep her safe, just for you. There’s plenty of room under my wings right beside the men I love.”

  Whitefox froze. She’d heard everything he’d said to her and she understood. “Thank you, Lyzee,” he whispered, burying his face in her hair and neck, as he just held onto her. He meant what he said. Elizabeth Blackhawk would always live deep within his heart. She was magic and he was lost in the spell.

  “She’s mine now too, Cal. If this is what you want me to do, I’ll do it. Nothing is going to happen to her and for the record,” she continued whispering. “You definitely have my blessing. Don’t walk away from her because of me. I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if I caused you to not to take a chance at happiness. I love you too much to ever ask you to do that. I support you, and am here for you no matter the outcome.”

  He looked in her eyes and his cheek twitched. “I'm an idiot to believe I have a chance. She isn't Native and granddad will have a stroke. He gave me everything I ever had in life, and I can’t disobey him. It’s the one thing he always made me swear. I promised Lyzee, and I can’t break a promise to him.”

  Elizabeth stroked his cheek and braced his face between her hands before giving him a kiss on the lips. “Do you trust me, Cal?”

  “You’re my best friend next to my brother, I trust you with my life,” and he did. He also trusted her with his heart, and she was probably the only woman that he ever would one hundred percent. Truth be told, Callen knew that Elizabeth was the one, but reality reminded him that boat had sailed.

  “Then you leave Granddad up to me. I have your back,” she said, patting him right over the tattoo on his shoulder. “Take your chance Callen, and worry about the rest later. Let me carry this one for you,” she offered, leaning against him and wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. “I want you to be happy and fill the rest of your heart with more love, and I really like her.” And she did.

  Tears filled his eyes, and he fought back the overwhelming need to let the emotion escape. She had no idea how much she meant to him, and how much just having her by his side mattered. “Thank you,” he whispered, a tear slid down his cheek. Whitefox sensed they weren’t alone, and he looked up at his brother standing in the doorway.

  Elizabeth wiped the tear away with her thumb, and looked over her shoulder at her husband.

  Ethan observed the two most important people in his life, and his heart clenched. Something was obviously bothering his brother and his wife was working on healing the wound. Some men would be insanely jealous to have their wife hugging another man, but his wasn’t just some other man or woman.

  This was his family and he trusted them both.

  He closed the distance between them, and threw his arms around them both. Whatever the pain, he was willing to help shoulder it, even if his brother wasn’t ready to share it. When his wife was abducted his brother kept him sane, comforted him, and kept him focused until she was back with him.

  Elizabeth wrapped her arms around both men’s waists and just held them together. They were her family, and she’d do anything to keep them intact.

  Callen allowed the emotion to swamp him, and his brother and sister to stabilize him. With them he was stronger. “I love you both,” he whispered, choked by the emotion. “So damn much.”

  “We love you too, Cal,” answered his brother. “You’ll never be alone again,” he added, dropping his forehead against his brother and wife’s. Together they were strong and they’d fix whatever was hurting his brother. “We can work through anything as long as we stick together.”

  “I need you both,” he said, unsure if he was going to be able to carry it alone.

  “We’re here, Cal,” Elizabeth said, kissing him on the cheek. “Ethan and I will help you, I promise.”

  Blackhawk braced his hand on the back of his brother’s head. “Anything you need is done, Callen. I’ve got you.”

  Whitefox just nodded. If he spoke he’d break. He had to put his faith in them, and hope that they would lead him through what was coming. Inside he was a scrambled mess, and he had to believe they would help him clean it up and find his way to happiness. The tears were also for the guilt. The feelings he was having towards Ethan’s wife ate away at his soul.

  Desdemona Adare stopped just outside the doorway, hidden in the shadows of the other room. She watched the three family members as they hugged in the kitchen. It was beautiful and poignant, and wondered if she’d ever have that kind of happiness and people to always have her back. Desdemona watched the three embrace and offer strength to Callen Whitefox. Although she was lost as to what was the burden he was obviously carrying, it wasn’t lost on her that he wasn’t carrying it alone.

  Everything she’d heard in the rumor mill was both wrong and right about her bosses. The Blackhawks were an unstoppable force, and that was true. What wasn’t true was they were cold. These three people were probably the warmest people she’d ever met in her life. Just watching them close rank around the part of their family that was struggling proved it. Emotion was shared between them easily and again she felt the closeness of that of a single couple.

  Desdemona stepped back, and gave them the privacy they deserved, even though she wanted to run in and join in the warmth they were so easily sharing.

  God what she wouldn’t give to have
a family of her own. In that moment she believed she’d give up anything to be part of their circle. Desdemona would sacrifice love to just be part of what they shared.

  Family.

  They drove into town in one Denali, and left the second one in their driveway. Elizabeth and Ethan Blackhawk sat in the front, and Callen and the doctor in the back, as they discussed the incoming tech reports. They needed a jumping off point to focus the investigation, and before they rolled into the sheriff’s department.

  “Did they find any trace?” asked Elizabeth.

  Callen Whitefox leaned into the papers sitting in Desdemona’s lap and scanned the information. “Blonde hairs.”

  “They put a rush on it to FBI West to find the DNA, and as soon as we get the results later, I can tell you sex. But with long blonde hair, I think we can assume woman.”

  Blackhawk looked up in the rear view mirror. “Female serial killers are a possibility, but honestly they don’t happen often,” he added, throwing it out there.

  Desdemona considered his words. “I had to do the psych rotation in medical school, and I remember some of that.” She was having a hard time focusing. Callen Whitefox’s leg was brushing hers and he smelled incredible.

  Elizabeth leaned back in her seat. “Did you start your base line profile, Ethan?”

  Blackhawk nodded. “I need some more information before I can call it official. It’s going to come down to whether the men we found were sexually assaulted.” Part of him was infinitely grateful that the killer wasn’t going after women. At least his wife would be safe.

  The papers resting on Desdemona’s lap slid off and Whitefox caught them, and he placed them back on her lap. The entire time he was beside her he was completely aware that the doctor smelled really good, and he wondered if it was her perfume or hair.

  “Thank you,” she said to him, looking at him from behind her glasses.

  Callen smiled warmly at her.