Falling With You: A Fractured Connections Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He pinned me to the wall using his hips of all things and then worked my shirt up over my head before he had his hands back on me, kissing me through my bra, sucking my nipples into his mouth.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, Sienna,” he whispered, and I blushed.

  He’d seen me naked before. We had done this before, just as hot, just as needy, just as intensely, but he still made me blush.

  He set me down on my feet, so that way he could kneel in front of me, kissing his way between my breasts, unlocking the clasp of my bra in front.

  My eyes widened as he ripped it off me, and I helped him so I wouldn’t dislocate an arm with the straps. His face went between my breasts as he pushed them together, kissing, sucking.

  “I could fuck these tits, suck on them all night until your nipples are red little cherries. What do you think about that, Sienna?”

  In answer, I let out a little gurgling moan and then rested my head on the door as I ran my hands through his hair. He nipped small bites all over my breasts, and I knew I would have bruises in the morning. I didn’t care. I just wanted him.

  And so, he kept kissing me, kept sucking, his lips going down my belly until he licked right along the waistband of my jeans, tugging with his teeth.

  When his hands went to the button, I knew this was going too fast, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him inside me. So, I arched my back just a little so he could pull my jeans over my butt, and then down my legs. I stepped out of them and my shoes and moaned when he kissed me right over my lace panties.

  “Pale peach. Good color.” And then he shoved my panties to the side and put his mouth on me.

  I arched into him, going up on my tiptoes, wanting more of him.

  His tongue flicked my clit, and my knees started shaking, but he had one hand on me, keeping me steady, the other moving my panties out of the way more so he could lick and suck and blow warm and cool air on me. And then the hand that was supporting me went away, and he was inside me, two fingers, then three, stretching me and curling ever so slightly so he could find that spot.

  I came then, right on his face, and I shuddered, my whole body weakening.

  But I didn’t have time to breathe, didn’t have time to thank him or even scream his name. Because his mouth was still on me, sucking my clit in as he twisted his lips just slightly so I came again, twice in a row, something I had never done before.

  Damn, this man.

  And then he was on his feet, and I stood there dazed, my whole body pressed to the door. He still had his shirt on, his shoes, but he had shucked his jeans over his ass, his cock hard and ready, and then his hands were on me again, and he was in me.

  Just one thrust, hard, needy, and bare.

  “Fuck,” I whispered to myself.

  His eyes were wide. “Fuck. Condom.”

  “I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I have the paperwork.”

  “I’m clean too, but I’ll get the paperwork. I don’t want to move out of you. I can’t.”

  “I trust you,” I whispered, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake. Then again, I hoped I wasn’t making any mistake when it came to Aiden.

  He was still in me, his body pulsating against me as he rested his forehead on mine.

  “I’ve never been bare with anyone, I can promise you that.”

  Not even with Allison? I asked myself. But I didn’t say it. Because that name was already between us, it always would be.

  “Move, Aiden,” I demanded, arching into him.

  And then he moved.

  Simple thrusts, in and out so he pulled out all the way and then slammed back home, just teasing me, and then moving so quickly, so hard, that I knew we might break his door. And I didn’t care.

  I clung to him, my nails digging into his skin through his shirt as he pounded into me, needing, aching.

  This was raw, powerful, and something primal. So us.

  I didn’t know if we could ever have soft sex. If we could ever be sweet to each other.

  And that was fine. Because this is what we were, just what we needed.

  I needed him. More than I needed anything else in the world. More than I needed anyone else in the world.

  Because right then, it was just the two of us. No other names, no other whispers.

  And that’s what I craved, what I clung to.

  He slid one hand between us, his thumb going over my too swollen clit.

  “One more time, short stack. One more time.”

  I blinked at him, trying to get my thoughts in order. “I can’t come. I can’t.”

  “You will.” And then he kissed me again, so much in it that I came, his hand still on my clit rubbing so quickly and at such a perfect pace that I shook, my whole body clamping around him.

  He let out a groan, and I could feel him come inside me, his body shaking along with mine.

  And then it was over, and we were both sweaty, panting, and he was still inside me, bare. I really had no idea what had just happened.

  He pressed against me as I slowly cooled, a little embarrassed about what had just happened since he was still dressed, and I was only wearing a scrap of lace that had been pushed to the side.

  “Let me get something to clean you up,” he growled, his voice hoarse.

  I nodded, then winced as he slid out, a little sore. I knew I was going to hurt more in the morning.

  It’d been since the last time we slept together that I had done anything like that, but still, we were rougher than I’d ever been before.

  He didn’t kiss me, didn’t do anything, just walked away as he pulled up his pants and tucked himself inside his boxer briefs before he went back to his bedroom. I heard water running, and then he was out again in the living room with two towels in his hands, one damp, the other dry. I felt so open, so bare, even though he had just been inside me, so I slowly wrapped one arm around my breasts, the other covering myself, not knowing why I was so embarrassed.

  “Here, let me help,” he whispered, and then slid the wet cloth between my legs. I winced, and he froze. “Was I too rough?”

  I shook my head. “No, just not used to that. But it’s fine. It was good.”

  He just looked at me, his eyes going dark before he looked back down and finished cleaning me up, then slid my panties back over me.

  It was such a strange gesture, one that was caring yet a little off. I had no idea what I was going to say next, no idea what I could say. It just felt…different. Like we were different.

  I bent down and quickly pulled on my bra, and then my pants. He had my t-shirt in his hands, and I took it from him without saying anything. What was there to say after you fucked someone hard against a door and then it looked like he was embarrassed or a little ashamed of that fact?

  “I guess we scared Diego off,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

  Aiden just squared his jaw and gave me a tight nod.

  “What’s wrong, Aiden? Talk to me.”

  He didn’t say anything, just looked down at his hands.

  “Talk to me, what’s wrong?” I repeated.

  “We just had sex, Sienna. What more do you need?” He growled out the words, sounding nothing like himself. I had never heard that voice or tone from him. I had never heard that type of cruelty.

  Something was wrong with him, and I wasn’t leaving. He would just have to deal with it.

  “No, you don’t get to do that. What’s wrong with you?”

  He gave me a casual shrug, and his face went neutral. “I can go again, short stack. Just give me a minute.”

  And then he moved forward, cupping me between my legs over my jeans. “Unless you want my mouth. I could use a little syrup from my short stack.”

  There was no humor in his eyes, and I just blinked. I pushed at his chest, and he took the two steps back, folding his arms over his chest.

  “Aiden Connolly. What the fuck is wrong with you? That wasn’t a good joke. That was horrendous. What is going through that head of yours? Don’t think you
can just act like an asshole and push me away. We don’t get to do that to each other. You get me?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “No, you’re lying. Because you’re making cruel jokes and acting like what we did meant nothing when I know it did. So, don’t fucking act like this right now. Talk to me.”

  “I’m fine, Sienna. I don’t need to talk about everything.”

  “Really? Because you’re the one who told me I needed to talk about what happened. I’m in therapy for God’s sake. And you seemed happy that I was going. But you’re not going to talk at all? You’re just going to treat me like this? I don’t think so. You don’t get to just fuck me against the door and then treat me like I’m a whore.”

  His eyes widened at the word, and then he took another step back before sinking onto the chair. He buried his face in his hands, and I took a couple of steps forward. “Talk to me, Aiden.”

  “I don’t know where to start,” he growled.

  “Don’t treat me like that again, Aiden. That’s where you can start.”

  He looked up then and reached for me. He pulled me onto his lap and buried his head against my chest. I slid my hands through his hair and held him close. “Aiden.”

  “I’m sorry, Sienna. I was an asshole. I’m always an asshole, but sometimes, I’m worse. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t even know why I did. It was stupid. I don’t think you’re a whore. Seriously. I really don’t think you’re a whore.”

  “I didn’t really think you thought I was a whore. But you made me feel cheap just then, and I didn’t appreciate it.”

  “I just don’t want to talk about anything, so I wanted you out of my house. But I know you’re just as stubborn as I am, so you’re not going to leave until I tell you.”

  “I’m not going to pressure you into telling me something you don’t want to, but I’m also not going to leave after what just happened. So, we can just sit here and talk about nothing, but I really hope you trust me enough to know that I’m going to be here for you no matter what. So, talk to me.” I paused. “Is it about your mom?”

  He looked at me then and barked out a laugh.

  “Jesus Christ, there’s so much wrong with me that it really could have been about just about anything. No, I’m really over my mom. I promise. I’ve been over her for a while now. Dillon and Cameron and Brendon and I are just fine. It really has nothing to do with them. No, it has more to do with me.” And then he looked at me and told me about Allison. Told me about the baby. About why they’d broken up. About it all.

  And I just sat there, shaking.

  He didn’t cry, not a single tear, but I cried. I cried for everything.

  I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do. So, I cupped his face and lowered my forehead to his. “Aiden.”

  “I know. Sucks right?” He let out a laugh, and I heard the pain there, the rage. “I don’t know what to think. Because it’s just too much. It could’ve been why. It seriously could’ve been why.” He let out a breath. “But what was I supposed to tell everyone? That I thought maybe I knew why Allison killed herself?”

  “You don’t know that. We don’t know anything.”

  “I know that we lost a baby and we didn’t talk about it.”

  “We can talk about it now if you want.” I paused. “Unless you don’t want to. I don’t want to pry, even though I’m already prying.”

  Aiden let out a breath again and then looked at me. “I always used to be able to talk to you, Sienna. And even when we fight now, I talk to you. So, it’s not that. It’s never been that. I knew it was going to be complicated, it’s always complicated when it comes to old friends. It just threw me for a loop. Seeing the sonogram, having it all come back to me. I just don’t know.”

  “Her parents know now. So that’s something.” I paused. “And I think you need to tell your brothers. And maybe the girls, too.”

  “I do. And we will. I just need some time to myself with it.”

  I nodded and tried to move off his lap. “Aiden, I can go.”

  “I meant with you. You know. You know pretty much everything about me now. I don’t want you to go.” He swallowed hard, and I watched the long lines of his throat work. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

  And that was when I fell in love with Aiden Connolly.

  Because he asked for help. A man that never did.

  I loved him, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

  So, I just held him and let the tears fall as I thought about my friend who was no longer with us. Thought about everything the two of them had gone through. And then I cried a little bit more about what might happen in the future, and at thoughts of how we would figure out this new normal.

  But we would. I had to have faith.

  Because without faith in that, I wasn’t sure I’d have faith in anything.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sometimes I wish it had been me. But I love her, so I forget that wish. I have to

  -Sienna, age 17

  * * *

  Sienna

  I rolled my shoulders back and smiled at Jefferson. He smiled back, his eyes bright and practically bouncing. Today was one of the good days with Jefferson, so I had to count that as a win. Considering that we hadn’t had as many good days as bad days when it came to the former quarterback’s therapy for the past month or so, I figured today was going to be a good day all around.

  “Okay, you’re doing good today. You want to work on the next set?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips so I could take a look around the room to make sure that we had everything prepared. I was still a little off from everything happening all at once, but I was doing better. At least I was able to mask my emotions and exactly what I was thinking from my clients. They didn’t need to know that I was still a little shaky from the attack, even though my bruises had long since faded, and I felt physically fine.

  They didn’t need to know that just thinking Allison’s name made me tear up. And now it made me think of Aiden and everything they had lost together.

  It hurt to think of everything he had gone through, and how he’d had to hide it because it was so personal between him and Allison. And then losing Allison on top of it all?

  No wonder he was angry all the time and constantly pushed others away.

  No wonder we always got on each other’s nerves, because honestly, we were so much alike sometimes it wasn’t even funny.

  “I’m ready, Miss Knight. Just tell me where you want me.” Jefferson winked, flirting again, and I just shook my head, waving him off. He was having a good day, and he never went too far with his flirting, so I planned to just ignore it. For now.

  Jefferson and I got to work, and even though I knew we were both getting tired, we only had a few more minutes together before we could move to the cooldown and he could go home, thankfully with his mother coming to pick him up.

  He hadn’t missed an appointment in the past month, and I counted that as another win.

  I just hated the fact that this was his normal now. And even though we were helping his physical strength in order for him to actually be able to walk without as much pain as he had been in before, some things would never get better.

  But there was nothing I could do about that, so I just did my job, something I was actually good at.

  We were just finishing up when the door opened, and Aiden strolled in, a smile on his face, and a bag in his hand.

  Other than when he had come in for his hand, I didn’t think he’d actually ever been to where I worked. He hadn’t told me he was coming, and I wasn’t really excited that he was here.

  Sure I loved looking at him, loved the way he looked at me, but this was work.

  And I had no idea how to handle this. I really wasn’t good at this.

  I made sure the smile on my face wasn’t too bright, considering that I was at work, and not only were my coworkers here, but my clients were, as well.

  “Hey, short stack,” Aiden said as he walked
up and kissed me on the cheek. I straightened, taking a step back. I didn’t miss the hurt in his eyes or the confusion, but it wasn’t like I could tell him to just go away for a minute.

  This was where I worked, where I did my best to act professionally in a world where mostly men got the promotions and the respect. I had to work twice as hard, and I knew I even had my own privileges.

  I just didn’t know how to say that to Aiden just then. I hoped he would understand.

  But from the way he looked at me, I didn’t think he did.

  Because I hadn’t told him.

  But he should have understood it anyway.

  “Hi, Aiden, I didn’t know you were coming in.”

  Jefferson stood behind me, towering over us all, and I held back a wince. This was not something I needed. This wasn’t something any of us needed.

  “Who’s this?” Jefferson asked, his voice a growl.

  I cleared my throat. “Jefferson, this is my friend Aiden. Why don’t you get back to that cooldown, and then we’ll work on what we need to do for the next session.”

  Jefferson just folded his arms over his massive chest. “Not leaving you alone with someone I don’t know.”

  “Excuse me?” Aiden asked, rolling his shoulders back so he looked slightly bigger.

  This was definitely not what I needed. Not in the slightest. Now people were looking, and I was the center of attention. Again.

  “Aiden, why don’t I meet you up front? Jefferson? Go do that cooldown. We’re almost done.”

  I looked at Jefferson. “Please,” I pleaded.

  “Fine. But I’m watching you.” He narrowed his eyes at Aiden and then stomped off to do his cooldown.

  “What the hell was that?” Aiden asked, staring after where Jefferson had gone to the mat.

  “No, we’re not doing this here. Go up to the front, Aiden. I will talk to you later.”