Falling With You: A Fractured Connections Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

“No, really, the place is great. I think we came in here before. I don’t know, maybe a year ago or so, I’m not quite sure. It has the same vibe as before, but maybe a little different?”

  I swallowed hard and just smiled. Business. I could do this. “Yeah, when our dad passed away, the bar came to us. We’ve changed a few things but tried to keep it what it’s always been, the Connolly Brewery.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Olivia said quickly, reaching out to grip my hand tightly for a moment before letting go.

  “Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to bring that up. The two of us know better than anyone what it means to try and move on and pick yourself up after you lose someone close.” The two of them shared a look that was so private and filled with pain yet hope that I felt like I was intruding. I didn’t ask what they were talking about, but I nodded. “Thanks, we’re doing okay. We’re figuring things out. But the fact that the place is getting busier is a good thing.”

  “Tell me about it.” Derek just shook his head. “Restaurants keep popping up all over the place down here, and then they fade away just as quickly. I’m glad this place is staying, though. You’re only a couple streets down from my shop.”

  “Which is a good thing, considering I’m still thinking about what my next tattoo should be.”

  “We’re here for you whenever you need us, but we gotta put your name on the waiting list.”

  Olivia bounced in her seat. “He’s full-time now and actually has a waiting list instead of just walk-ins. It’s a big deal.” Olivia did a little booty shake in her seat, and Derek just rolled his eyes.

  “Yeah, it’s a big deal, but the shop and its name kind of helps with that.”

  “And probably your talent, too,” I said.

  “Speaking of talent, we’re getting those nachos that I’ve heard so much about, and the people next to us had when we first walked in. They look and sound delicious.”

  “Then I should probably get back and make sure I make them for you personally.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to.” Olivia shook her head quickly. “I mean, we’d love you to, but if you have other things to do, just do your thing. We’re just here. We just wanted to say hi and thank you for dealing with us at the game. We were sad that you left early.”

  I sighed. “Those assholes in front of us got a little handsy.”

  “We know,” Olivia said quickly. I gave her a look, and she just smiled. “Sienna and I exchanged numbers, and I texted her to make sure that she was okay since you guys didn’t come back, and we didn’t hear from you. That’s why I didn’t ask right when we walked in how things went. But I’m glad you’re both okay, and I’m glad we’re here. I think Sienna said she might be stopping by later, too, right?”

  I tried not to stiffen at the sound of Sienna’s name or mention of any plans she might’ve had. I just nodded. “She comes in often with her sister and friends. Two of them are dating my brothers, so they tend to come here often.”

  “All in the family?” Derek asked. I just laughed.

  “Apparently. Let me get to the back and help out with those nachos for you, and then I have some other things to do. But it was good to see you. I’m sure Sienna will see you guys if she comes in, too.”

  “No problem. Thank you,” Derek said. I nodded at them before walking away.

  Well, it seemed that Sienna had made fast friends, and I did like the pair. I didn’t venture out of my circle that often, considering I had just been in my kitchen before, only worrying about that and trying to move higher up in the ranks. I didn’t have time for friends. I hadn’t had time for my brothers either.

  But then everything had changed, and now my life revolved around the bar, my family, and Sienna.

  I just didn’t know what to do about that.

  I worked up the nachos for Olivia and Derek, then handed them to Beckham directly so I could get back to work since we were getting busier.

  Cameron was behind the bar with Beckham, while Dillon and Brendon were on the floor, keeping everything lively and on track.

  Dillon could’ve been back here with me, but since we were a little busy, it was good to just focus and not have to worry about teaching. Not that I resented that, not in the slightest, but sometimes it took a little too long to train when I didn’t have that time.

  Another hour passed, and I rolled my shoulders back as Beckham came in with an empty tray.

  “Hey, it’s slowing a bit, and the brothers need you out front.”

  He passed me without waiting for an answer. I just shrugged and handed over my kitchen to my staff before going out to the front. I might be the head chef, but I was also part owner, so I had to deal with more than just the back. Even though that might be exactly where I wanted to be for the night.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I asked, keeping the growl out of my voice as much as possible. I was still on edge, cranky, and all I wanted to do was figure out what the fuck was going on with Sienna. But now was not the time.

  “We’re slowing down since it’s only Thursday and there’s no game on tonight, so I figured you could have a taste of this new beer I got.”

  I blinked. “We’re working. I’m not going to drink on duty.”

  “You can have a sip because you’re not going back to that kitchen tonight. You aren’t on duty anymore. Your shift ends now.”

  I folded my hands over my chest. “Excuse me?”

  “You weren’t supposed to work tonight anyway. Remember? You were supposed to take the night off and work with me on inventory and maybe even taste the beers.”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, because I was going to let us all have the night off on a Friday.”

  I tried to think of my calendar and then shook my head.

  “I’m really having an off day it seems.”

  “Yes, you are. So, have a beer, taste it with me. And then let’s talk.”

  I looked down at Dillon, who was sitting at the end of the bar with his textbooks in front of him and a glass of milk. I couldn’t help but smirk.

  “Milk, young one?”

  Dillon flipped me off without letting anyone see him. I just laughed.

  “Beckham’s the one that poured it for me. I could have gone with like a soda or something or even water. But no, I get milk.”

  “And as soon as your balls drop and you get that chest hair you’ve always been wanting, you’ll be able to get something other than milk,” Beckham said with a wink as he went back to help another customer.

  “He’s getting better with those zingers,” Cameron said, smiling.

  “I agree. Thankfully, it’s only with us and not the rest of the staff.”

  “Well, he’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole,” Brendon said.

  “I feel like that needs to be the family tagline,” Dillon said, laughing.

  “Yeah, well, that might be right.”

  I sighed and went to one of the back tables where we could all sit. It had been slowing down, and that meant I could take some time off and let my staff do what they needed to do. Considering that no one had told me that I had said I was taking the day off just meant that they were used to my moods. I didn’t know how I felt about that, but I was head chef. It was sort of what I did.

  All three of my brothers came and sat down next to me, Brendon helping Dillon with his books while Dillon carefully brought over his glass of milk while rolling his eyes.

  “Oh, good, don’t waste the milk.”

  “Yes, apparently, it’s good for my bones.”

  “And we want you to keep growing, little one,” Cameron said, pinching Dillon’s cheek.

  “The family love here is just so much, it’s making me want to throw up,” I said, laughing.

  “Good to see you laugh,” Cameron said, leaning into me.

  “So, what the fuck’s going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re in a huff, you forgot that you weren’t going to actually work in the kit
chen today, and you keep acting like you’re a bear with something in its paw.”

  “I am not.”

  “You are, too,” Brendon said.

  “Is it Sienna?” Dillon asked, looking straight at me.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “It’s Sienna,” all three of them said at once, looking at each other and not me.

  I hated them. I really did. And the fact that Dillon fit in with us so well, just said that he was indeed a Connolly and we were all fucked.

  Or maybe we were just a family, and everybody was happy, and I just needed to get over myself. But…whatever.

  “Everything’s fine.”

  “Lie,” Brendon said, sipping his beer. He looked up at Cameron and tilted his head. “Good. Not too hoppy. Nice and refreshing. Maybe this should just be a seasonal one, though?”

  Cameron nodded, taking another sip of his. “I agree. Something a little more limited so that way it drives up the sale. And something we can taste some more. I don’t know if it’s going to fit into our regular stock.”

  “Seriously?” Dillon asked, looking between us. “You’re going to talk about beer instead of the fact that Aiden is stressing out over Sienna?”

  “Beer’s important, it’s kind of our livelihood,” Cameron said, his eyes filled with laughter.

  “No, food is our livelihood,” I snapped.

  “Okay, so food is your livelihood, that’s great. What’s wrong with you and Sienna?” Dillon asked, throwing his hands up into the air and almost spilling his milk.

  “Women are complicated.”

  “Well, that’s an understatement,” Cameron muttered.

  “Well, if you ask me…” Dillon began.

  “No one asked you,” I snapped.

  “Listen to the kid,” Beckham said as he dropped off a plate of nachos that I did not make but still looked really good. “Seems like the only one of you who knows what he’s doing when it comes to women, or at least talking about them.” He winked and then went off to go do whatever the fuck he was doing.

  “I hate him,” I muttered.

  “No, you don’t. Now, why don’t you tell us what’s wrong with Sienna? Or what you did to make things wrong with Sienna,” Dillon corrected.

  “Fuck all y’all.” I sighed and then told them exactly what had happened. Brendon and Cameron just kept shaking their heads, and Dillon gave me such a disappointed look that I felt like I needed to cower in my seat.

  “What?”

  “She was working, Aiden.”

  “I know. And I realize it was stupid. I just didn’t realize it at the time. I thought she could take a break. Like I do.”

  “But she doesn’t walk back to your kitchen and talk to you. She waits ‘til you come out here. Plus, the whole food thing.”

  I shook my head. “Okay, that was wrong. I just... I can’t... I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  “Start with that,” Dillon said, tapping his fingers on the table. “Tell her you don’t know what you’re doing. That way, you can actually figure out what you need to do together. Relationships are hard.”

  “I still don’t know where you’re getting all this information,” Cameron said, tossing his hands up into the air. “How and why do you know things like this?”

  “Like I said, I read romance novels. I watch TV. I listen to women.”

  “What women?”

  “Your women,” Dillon said, rolling his eyes.

  “If you actually listen to what they’re saying, sometimes, you can figure out what you need to do. Or if you don’t know, you ask.”

  “Seriously?” I asked as I shook my head and then pointed at Dillon. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about Sienna, but one day, you are going to meet the woman of your dreams, and you’re going to freak out and try not to fuck it up. And then you’re going to come to us not knowing what you’re supposed to do, and we’re going to just throw back all of your advice to you. So, it’d better work.”

  “Oh, it will work. But I’m not coming to you for advice.”

  I just glared. “Really? We’re your big brothers. Who are you supposed to go to?”

  “I’m going to your women,” Dillon said, like it was the most rational thing in the world. It didn’t mean that it wasn’t the most rational thing in the world, but still. “They’re better at this than you guys are.”

  “He is not wrong there,” Brendon said, nodding.

  “I hate all of you.”

  They just gave me a sad look, and I nodded, knowing I had been in the wrong. But that didn’t mean I knew what I needed to do next. As soon as the door opened and I looked up, I knew my time for mulling it over and trying to figure out what to say and do was over.

  Sienna stood there, her face set in straight lines, and her chin raised.

  The time of my reckoning was here.

  I just hoped I didn’t fuck it up.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Don’t forget to say what you mean and don’t back down

  -Sienna, age 19 in a conversation with Violet about her grades.

  Sienna

  I didn’t have to wait long at the door before Aiden was pushing Brendon out of the booth and coming towards me. I knew I looked stern and ready for anything, but I was literally shaking in my shoes.

  I didn’t want to lose him, I didn’t want to mess this up, but I was still so pissed off.

  We got angry with each other all the time, we liked yelling at each other. It was our thing. But it was our thing when the yelling didn’t matter, and it just led us to the next step of whatever we were doing.

  When the words mattered, when they hurt, that was when I got scared. Because what if we messed up? What if we were wrong?

  What if we couldn’t fix this?

  I took a step back out of the doorway, and suddenly Aiden was right there in front of me, the front door to the place closing behind him. He cupped my face and kissed me hard, his lips pressed firmly to mine. I couldn’t catch my breath, and I almost fell into him. Instead, I put my hands around his forearms and held on, letting his tongue touch mine, letting myself feel every inch of him.

  “I’m sorry,” he rushed out, leaning his head against mine. “I’m so damn sorry.”

  “Okay, that’s a good start. But I had a whole diatribe I was going to go through. Can you let me do that?” I didn’t like how flustered I sounded, but at least we were on the right track. Maybe.

  He nodded and let my face go, but slid his hands down my shoulders and arms to grip my hands.

  “This isn’t how it’s going to work. Okay?”

  His eyes shuttered. “You mean us?”

  “Not exactly. We are working great. I’m not breaking up with you.” I said the last part fast, and he just nodded.

  “Good, because I’m not breaking up with you either.” He nodded again.

  That made me laugh. “Okay, good. We really need to get better at this communication thing.”

  “I know we do. My brothers tell me that often. Especially Dillon.”

  “Dillon’s the sage one.”

  “So he thinks.”

  “But we’re getting off track here. I was working, Aiden. I don’t own my own place, and I have to be professional. Plus, these guys trust me to touch their bodies and be professional. I can’t flirt with some random dude in front of them.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not random.”

  “Oh, fuck off, Aiden. You are random to them. Get over yourself and see what I mean.”

  He tightened his jaw but nodded at me. “I know. I shouldn’t have shown up like that. I should have waited in the hallway, or at least seen when you had time off. I’m sorry. But I wanted to see you. And I’m not good at this whole thing. You know that. You’ve known me forever.”

  “I do know that. But we need to figure out how to make this work for us and not just pile things on top of everything that we had in the past. Because we aren’t those people anymore. We aren’t the people
that we were when we knew each other so well. We’ve had time apart, and that means we’re different people now.”

  “And I like the person you’ve become.”

  That made me smile.

  “Well, good. However, while I like the person that you’ve become, we also need to figure out how we fit into each other’s lives now. And that means if we want to see each other, maybe we shouldn’t just show up at each other’s places of business.”

  I winced and looked up at the bar I was standing in front of. “Well, if we do, then maybe not go to where we’re actually working. I mean, I can be standing in front of your bar, and that’s fine.”

  “I get you. Like you don’t come into my kitchen, and I won’t go back to where you’re actually working with clients. But if I want to stop by and you’re busy, I’ll leave a note or something.”

  “Or text me. I might not have my phone on me all the time, but I want to see you. And I know our schedules don’t always work, and sometimes you’re working late, or I need to get up early, but we’re going to make this work. ‘Cause I want to do this. We’re doing this. And you don’t get to get all huffy if I need to be at work.”

  “Fine. And I wasn’t huffy.”

  “You definitely huffed. You huffed and stormed out, and then I had to deal with everything at work after.”

  He cupped my face and sighed, kissing me softly.

  “I’m sorry about that. I won’t do it again. It was stupid, I just wanted to see you, and I didn’t think about anything else. It’s just been a long time since that sort of thing happened. And I’m not good at this.”

  “Well, we’re going to get good at this.”

  “Sienna?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry about the food. I thought you liked it before. I was wrong.”

  “I liked it because Allison did,” I said honestly. And then I leaned into his chest for a hug before pulling back. “We’re very complicated, so yeah, it’s going to hurt sometimes. We’ll figure out exactly what my favorite food of yours is so that you can bring it to me. Or you can bring a variety of things as long as you don’t think it’s my favorite because it was Allison’s.”