Brief Encounters_The Encounters Series

by Scarlett Hopper

  Just don’t let it be her. Please, god, don’t let it be Anna.

  Will doesn’t need to answer. The sympathetic look on his face tells me everything I need to know.

  Have you ever been stabbed in the chest? Neither have I, but I can imagine it feels something like this. My emotions slap me across the face, and I flinch backward, balancing on the railing.

  “Ellie—” He cuts himself off, clearly not knowing what to say. I mean, what can you say when someone’s boyfriend seeks comfort in the arms of his ex? At this point I can’t even fight the tears welling in my eyes, but I sure as hell won’t let them spill in this house.

  “Just tell him I got the message loud and clear,” I say against the lump in my throat.

  “I’m sure it’s not what it seems. They’re probably just talking.” Will’s attempts to convince me are futile, as we both know the truth.

  I put my hand up, silencing him, not able to hear anything else, because I’m not sure my resolve to hold in the tears will last otherwise.

  I hurt Jess. Now this is me getting hurt right back.

  I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

  God, I want to hate him. But I can’t, because the fucked-up thing is I love him. And the worst part is he knows it. If he read that fucking letter, he would know that. But I don’t even know if he read it.

  If this is what love is, I don’t know if I want any part in it.

  I’m silent the rest of the drive home. Viv doesn’t bother asking me what happened. I think she saw Will at the door and me sweaterless, then put the pieces together that something had happened.

  Without even a goodbye, I exit the car and go straight to my bedroom. I don’t even bother changing. I just hop under my covers and pull them up, blocking out the world and all the pain that comes with it. I expect tears to fall, but they never come. I guess it’s because I’m feeling so numb.

  Rage is a funny thing. One second you’re fine, and then the next you have this uncontrollable, inconceivable anger bubbling inside of you, ready to burst out. I guess there isn’t really anything funny about it. It’s the opposite of funny, actually. It’s terrifying, knowing that there’s something, someone, in this world that has so much power over you to garner this reaction.

  The next week goes by in a blur. Jess and I haven’t spoken since the breakup nearly two weeks ago. The more I think about it, I haven’t really spoken to anyone besides Vivian. I guess it wasn’t just Jess I lost when it all happened.

  I’ve seen him a few times around campus and in class, but both of us have avoided each other like the plague.

  I honestly don’t want to see him. At first, during the breakup, I only felt depression and heartbreak, but the more I thought about it, anger became a prominent emotion.

  I may have hidden my past profession from him, but he never gave me the opportunity to explain. Instead, he fucked his ex-girlfriend after I professed my love for him in a fucking letter.

  Jesus Christ, that fucking letter.

  And now here I am, in bed wallowing in self-pity because the only guy I’ve ever opened myself up to took a chainsaw to my heart. And I let it all happen. I let a guy ruin me.

  I know I should get up, get out of the house like Viv suggested, but the thought of seeing anyone is torture. The only time I leave is to go to class. I may be fucked up in the heart, but I’m not dumb enough to brush off the education I’ve worked so hard for.

  Finals are here, so campus is in full study mode, all students with books and coffee in hand, yours truly included. Except I’m staying far away from the public library and anywhere I could potentially run into Jess on campus.

  The tears have been few, but I’ve found myself in certain moments randomly bursting into them over small things like spilled cereal. Viv doesn’t say anything at this point; instead, she just holds me until the tears subside. I think she’s concerned more than anything. I’ve never cried in front of her, let alone been heartbroken about a guy, so she’s trying to give me the space I need, but not too much of it for fear that I’ll retreat to the girl I was pre-Parker.

  Even though Viv fears that I’ll return to my old ways, there’s something inside of me that just tells me I won’t. I don’t want to go back to being that girl, the one filled with fear and regret.

  I know it’s pathetic, but I can’t even say his name without wanting to stick my head in an oven. To most people it’s just a breakup and I should get over it, but it’s so much more than that for me.

  Jess was the first person to actually see through my bullshit, to actually be there when the going got tough instead of just flat-out going. He helped me grieve for my mom and for the loss of the life I used to lead. I didn’t just lose a boyfriend; I lost a best friend, and that hurts more than anything.

  “So, I was thinking we could take a study break and hit up Viper tonight,” Viv says almost too casually as she flips through her econ textbook.

  “Is that your sly way of telling me I need to leave the house?” I laugh, but it sounds forced and we both know it.

  Viv gives me a smile and shrug as she closes her textbook and throws it onto the ground. “I just think it would be fun. We haven’t really been in a while, and I know Claudia would love to see you.”

  Shit, Claudia. Some friend I am. I haven’t seen her since my breakup with Jess and have been pretty vague on the phone as to why I’m suddenly so busy. I just fear seeing her and Wren will remind me of everything that’s gone to shit in the past few weeks.

  My stomach knots as the horrid feeling of guilt begins to eat me up. Even in the worst of situations, Claudia manages to have a smile on her face.

  “I don’t think I’m up for Viper tonight, but why don’t you invite Claudia over here for dinner tomorrow?” It’s a compromise, and it’s the best I can do right now.

  “Okay, Ellie, that sounds like a good idea.” I can tell she wants to say more but is holding back.

  I think back to the night at Jess’s place and the look on Will’s face as he tried to break up the fight between Jess and me. I’ve been so wrapped up in myself the past two weeks that I keep forgetting to ask Vivian the one question I’ve had since that night.

  “Will knows, doesn’t he?” I say slowly. I pause, looking at Viv for confirmation, but I don’t really need it. Her crystal-blue eyes tell me everything.

  “I told him after our fight at Dina’s. But I didn’t mention you, I swear. He just put the pieces together after everything that went down with Jess, but I didn’t confirm anything,” she says reassuringly and almost frantically. I can tell her mind is racing and she’s fretting, but it’s for no reason.

  “Viv,” I say with a laugh, “calm down. It’s okay. I’m glad you told him, and I’m even more glad he understood. I think I kind of figured it out when he defended me to Jess.”

  Relief flashes in her eyes, and she gives me a warm smile. “I’m glad he understood too. And I don’t want you to think I didn’t tell you because I didn’t trust you. I just didn’t want you to feel pressure to tell Jess.”

  “It’s okay, really, it is. Will’s a great guy, Viv.”

  “Yeah, he is,” she says, smiling to herself. She pauses, looking as if there’s more to say. “And Ellie, if the reason you don’t want to go to Viper is because of Jess, he won’t be there. Will says he hasn’t really gone out since everything happened.” Her tone is cautious, as if the mention of his name will cause me to suddenly combust.

  “He’s probably just staying in and spending all his time with Anna.” I mean for it to come out like a joke, but my voice is filled with bitterness.

  “I don’t think he is, Ellie. He’s not doing well. Will says he’s really hurting.”

  “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”

  I glance up at Viv, her face filled with sympathy and something else I haven’t seen before: pity. It isn’t a look I enjoy seeing from anyone, but especially not her.

  “Whatever.” I shrug casually, pretending to be unaffected. “I’m gon
na finish studying in my room, then go grab some food from Dina’s. Let me know if you want anything.” I give her my best smile, but we both see through it.

  Twenty minutes later, “All These Things That I’ve Done” by the Killers blasts from my phone, pulling me out of my studying haze. Looking at the caller ID, I don’t recognize the number, but I answer it anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Eleanor. It’s Dean.” He doesn’t even need to tell me it’s him. From the way my skin crawls at the sound of his voice, I already know.

  “What the hell do you want?” I don’t even bother to sound remotely kind. It’s not my job to suck up to this asshole anymore.

  He lets out a bitter laugh. “You’re still as pleasant as ever, Eleanor. I expect nothing less.”

  I roll my eyes, ready to hang up before he continues.

  “I’m gonna be honest with you. The business isn’t what it used to be. Ever since we lost you and Vivian, well, let’s just say our other girls haven’t been up to our clients’ standards.”

  “So?” I say, not sounding even remotely interested.

  “So, I want you girls back. I’m pulling the business from everywhere but New York and know the clientele there would love you girls. I’m willing to pay for your apartment and give you both top choice in clientele. Let’s just say the other cities don’t have what we need anymore.”

  I laugh. Is he serious?

  “No.” I state it simply.

  I hear him let out a frustrated breath, something he does when I piss him off.

  “This is a onetime offer, Eleanor. Don’t fuck this up because you’re too fucking careless. You owe me for everything I’ve done for you,” he says, voice nearly a growl.

  “No, Dean. I don’t owe you shit. You’re probably the one who owes Viv and me. Without us you wouldn’t have a business. So here is my answer: fuck off.” I don’t bother waiting for a response. I hang up the phone.

  A small smile plays upon my lips as I sit in bed. For five years, I’ve wanted to tell him to fuck off. Now I finally have, and it feels great. This is the best I’ve felt in the past two weeks, and even though I know it’s only momentary due to the adrenaline rush, I still relish it.

  I won’t tell Viv about the call. There isn’t any need; Dean is officially out of our lives for good, and he doesn’t deserve a second thought.

  Standing in line at Dina’s for my to-go order, I try to preoccupy myself with thoughts of school so I don’t have to acknowledge the nagging thoughts that pop into my mind about all the times Jess and I spent here.

  I swear the guy is everywhere I go. Maybe not physically, but in some form or another, he’s around every corner I turn. I’m just grateful winter break is nearly upon us so I don’t have to see him on campus for a full three weeks.

  I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him around with Anna. There’s a chance I’d either just go batshit crazy or burst into tears. I really have no clue what’s worse. Thankfully, after I told Ash the shortened version of my breakup with Jess and his past with Anna, she was more than happy to change my schedule. I haven’t seen Anna once since my party.

  Now, as I stand here in Dina’s, it lacks the comfort that it once brought. Instead, I’m thrown into a whirlwind of memories and emotions I would really rather forget for now.

  “I heard he was with Tiff again,” the girl in line in front of me says, catching my attention.

  “No way. Jess is staying single after his disaster of a breakup. I mean, we all knew it wasn’t going to last. I just feel sorry that he wasted all those months with whatever her name was. From what I’ve heard, he was seen with half the cheerleading team the past week, you know, making up for all that lost time.”

  My face warms, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I can’t hear this. I don’t want to hear this.

  How could he move on so quickly?

  I knew about Anna, but I guess a part of me didn’t want to believe he had fully moved on. Oh, how wrong I was.

  Swallowing down the bile rising in my throat, I exit Dina’s, not even bothering to collect my order. Food is the last thing on my mind right now.

  I punch Viv’s number into my phone as I get into the car, then speed away from Dina’s as fast as I can.

  “I think you’re right. Let’s hit up Viper tonight,” I say before either of us can speak a hello.

  “Ellie, are you okay? You sound kind of frantic.” I can tell she’s concerned, but it isn’t needed. Tonight I’m forgetting about all things Jess Parker related.

  “I’m perfect,” I lie. “Just suddenly feel like going out. I’ll meet you there at eleven.”

  She pauses, clearly not knowing what to make of my sudden behavior change, but luckily for me, she agrees.

  “Okay, I’ll meet you out front at eleven,” she says reluctantly.

  “Perfect.”

  Viper isn’t as crazy as it has been some nights, but for Viper a slow night can be another club’s busiest. After running home and changing into a skintight black dress and heels, I’m out the door faster than if it were on fire.

  After hearing those girls in line at Dina’s, I knew staying home would be a horrible idea because all I would do was dwell on shit I can’t change.

  I have a fire running through my blood tonight, a desire to prove that I’m unaffected by all things Jess Parker. Too bad I picked the one place he was also at tonight.

  “To being single,” I say as I raise a tequila shot up to Viv. “Well, I mean for at least one of us,” I joke. She lets out a little giggle as she downs the shot and almost simultaneously makes a gagging face. Tequila has never been Viv’s friend. More for me, I guess.

  “Will?” Viv says with a questioning look on her face.

  “No, Viv.” I laugh as I feel the tequila running through my veins. “I’m Eleanor.”

  “No, Ellie,” she slightly slurs. “Will’s here.” She tips her head toward the other end of the bar, where Will is talking to someone whose back is toward us. Ice coats my body because I know whom he’s talking to without him even needing to turn around.

  Fuck, I won’t let this ruin my night.

  “I didn’t invite him,” Viv says, putting up her hands.

  “It’s fine, Viv. You can go talk to him; he is your boyfriend.” Viv scratches her head, debating what to do, but it’s no use. Looks like Will has made the decision for us. As we speak, Will and Jess round the bar toward us. Will has an uneasy expression on his face, and Jess’s face is just unreadable.

  Against my better judgment, I let my gaze wander over his body. He’s wearing a blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top few buttons open, along with a pair of black jeans, just like the first time I saw him at Viper. He looks hot, and I can’t help but notice the way my body reacts to him. It’s been over two weeks, and yet he still makes me feel this way.

  Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with me?

  “Hey, babe,” Will says as he pulls Viv in for a hug before turning to me. “Hey, Ellie.” Since the breakup, I’ve distanced myself from all the guys, so instead of our usual hug, Will just gives me a smile, something I’m perfectly fine with. Physical contact is not on my radar right now.

  I don’t bother looking at Jess, because I refuse to let him see how broken I really am on the inside. And he, out of all people, would be able to.

  “Hey, Viv,” Jess says before turning to me. “Eleanor,” he says with a tight smile.

  “I’m gonna get drinks,” Will says, attempting to break the tension. He wanders over to the bar, pulling a sullen Jess along with him.

  Twenty minutes later, some postgrad is chatting me up about financing. Riveting.

  I’ve managed to keep my gaze away from Jess’s for the most part, but it occasionally finds its way to the table he’s sitting at with the blonde on his lap.

  I’m doing my best to feign interest in what this dude is saying, but my usual charm is faltering tonight.

  Just as Dan or Dave, whatever the hell his
name is, is getting us another round, my neck tingles at the awareness of he who must not be named.

  Jess pushes in between Dan/Dave with a sick smile as he looks at him. “Piece of advice, dude. No need to chat her up. Slip her a Benjamin, and you can even take her home for the night.”

  Dan/Dave awkwardly looks between Jess and me before getting out of his seat and running for the hills. I, on the other hand, am frozen in place. The cruelty behind Jess’s words cuts me deeper than any knife could.

  I don’t notice I’ve started to cry till a tear rolls off my cheek and onto the back of my hand. Jess, clearly expecting a reaction out of me, waits for a comeback, but I don’t have one because all I’m feeling right now is complete and utter hurt.

  I turn to Jess, not even bothered by the fact it’s obvious I’m crying. “Screw you, Jess,” I manage to say before pushing off the stool and heading for the exit.

  I hurry to the front of the club, cursing myself for letting him see me cry. This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go down. I was supposed to prove to myself I didn’t need him, and now look at me. A teary mess in the middle of the street, what a cliché.

  “Eleanor,” a voice calls from behind me, a voice I’m far too familiar with tonight. I ignore Jess and keep walking down the street, refusing to let him taunt me more. The one thing I hate about the new Eleanor Ivy is that she’s vulnerable, one thing the old me never was. I didn’t take shit and I fought back. Now look at me.

  “Eleanor, wait,” Jess says, pulling on my coat and causing me to stumble. I spin around angrily and look him dead in the eyes, but instead of the spite that filled them only moments ago, he now looks like the old Jess, my Jess.

  “Els,” he says breathlessly, “I’m sorry.” He looks at me helplessly, as if asking me—no, begging me—to fix whatever has gone wrong with us.

  “It’s fine,” I say coldly, disregarding the helpless look he’s giving me. I begin to turn around again, but he grabs my arm and doesn’t let go this time.

  “Eleanor, I’m so sorry. That was beyond out of line. I’m hurting, but that doesn’t mean I can talk to you that way.” His confession takes me off guard, and I stop in my tracks to face him.