Possibility Days

by Mary Ramsey

  Diego smiled at the colorful livery. “‘Sean’s Place’—of course it is. But I think I’m going to ride with Auntie Sara and your nana.”

  I rode in my mother’s car with Cam, both of us watching over Diego and Sara. I met Cam’s eye curiously. “I’ve never seen Angel so quiet.”

  Cam shrugged. “Could be a good thing. All we can do is hope for the best.”

  By the time my mother’s car made it to the house, Johnny and Jen already had the food truck set up in the backyard. Jen made her mother’s recipe for chicken enchiladas, one of the truck’s best sellers. Johnny prepared beans and rice along with a chocolate cake. Shauna and Izzy played fetch with Sunflower.

  Jen left Johnny to serve the party and sat on the porch with a piece of cake. She looked to the cloudless sky. “Are you up there, Sean? Are you watching over us? Are you proud?”

  “I am. I love you, Jen.” I watched as Johnny left the food truck, since all the cooking was complete. “Please sit with her,” I asked, knowing only he could hear me.

  He sat beside Jen, putting his arm around her. “Sean’s safe now. He’s in a place where he’ll never feel any pain.”

  Jen nodded. “I still cry whenever I think of him.”

  “And you always will,” He nodded, looking over to me super-brief, super-quick. “He was just that special.”

  Diego sat down on Jen’s other side, struggling only a little with his leg. “Today is not a day for sadness. I feel Sean watching over all of us.”

  Shauna sat between his feet, holding up the plate of food that they were both sharing. “I miss Daddy. Sometimes I can see him, but sometimes I can’t.”

  “Is there a reason why Sara’s not letting you hold the baby?” Johnny asked Diego.

  “Still not?” I snapped. God, this was getting annoying.

  “Sara told me she would show me how to administer pain therapy at a later time,” he replied. His focus was on Shauna; her joy was contagious. Not quite contagious enough to reach me, at least not until Diego and Angel had done the hugging deed. Damn Diego and his overly patient nature.

  I noticed something strange. Diego’s eyes would fade in and out, as if his soul was leaving his body. His hands would tremble. And he would often grasp at his left arm, sometimes his chest.

  “Shauna, sweetheart, could you help me get my pills?”

  “Okay, Grandpa,” she said as she got up.

  “I should go with her,” Jen said as she put down her plate.

  With both girls gone, Johnny gripped Diego’s hand. “Shit, what’s up?”

  I felt myself going a little cold. Diego had to be okay. After this time … he couldn’t pass away. Just couldn’t.

  Diego shook his head soothingly. “I’m fine—Sara’s just being cautious. And I wanted to say this out of Shauna’s earshot. I’m still suffering vertigo and tremors after the attack.”

  Johnny sighed. “And that’s why Sara doesn’t trust you with the baby.”

  I did not think it was possible for me, as a ghost, to have a headache. “What the hell!” I stalked into the house, ready to find my sister and shake sense into her, but she was talking to our mom, and her face was lit up. Animated. As I got closer, I realized they were discussing her progress at work.

  “So much better,” she told Mom. “The team’s taken a massive step forward, working on the development of a new drug that could boost the immune system of cystic fibrosis patients.”

  Mom smiled from ear to ear. “That is wonderful! Would it be like a daily pill, or …?”

  “It would be a monthly injection.” Sara’s grin broadened wider still. “Yeah, seriously. If it’s successful, it could eliminate fevers, increase energy levels, and even extend life spans.” Sara looked down to Angel, and he wrapped his tiny fist around her finger. “A little late for Sean, though.”

  Both Sara and the baby started to cry.

  “I’m proud of you Sara, and so is your brother.”

  I bit my lip as I touched her shoulder. “It’s true. I am proud. And I was always right—you’re going to change the world.” The baby looked right at me, making my heart flutter. “First, though … you and I have to get your mom to reconnect with the true love of her life.”

  After the party, Diego went to stay in the guestroom. He was doing well to get himself ready for bed, but looked so low. I knew exactly what he needed. I went to the room Jen and Shauna shared. I whispered in my little girl’s ear. “Did you give Grandpa a goodnight kiss?”

  Her eyes shot open. “Oh no!” she said sadly. “I forgot. I’ll do it now.” She darted from the room.

  Diego had changed into a t-shirt and boxers to go to bed. He’d been trying to shave, but his hands trembled so badly and the pain in his leg made it difficult to stand. He opened his bag, reaching for his pain medicine.

  Shauna appeared in the doorway. “I can help you.” She motioned for him to sit on the toilet.

  “I need my injection, for my leg,” he explained. “It’s too dangerous for a little girl.”

  “Don’t be silly, I can do it.” She touched her grandpa’s leg, giving an expert prod where the muscles were in spasm. She located the needle and some alcohol to sanitize his skin. She pushed the needle in slightly to get rid of any air bubbles, then injected Diego’s leg.

  He looked genuinely stunned. “Did you learn that from helping your Daddy?”

  She nodded. “Mommy showed me how.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  “Sure,” she said, binning the sharps in his special container.

  “The day I was attacked, I saw your daddy …”

  Diego told her the full story. I was kind of wary at first—it wasn’t exactly a PG13 event—but he got the balance of truth and excitement just right. I sat on the corner of the bed and watched her face as he described the whole rescue. She looked agog. It was awesome.

  “Your daddy smacked the man in the chest like this”—Diego demonstrated a fierce chop in thin air—“and he totally saved my life.”

  “What about your head?” she asked. “And your leg?”

  “Your daddy tried his best to protect me,” he explained. “When it was all over, when the bad men left, he held me in his arms. Do you know what he said?”

  “What?”

  “I won’t let you go.” That last line came out as a croak.

  “Is my daddy really an angel now?” Shauna asked.

  “Oh, for sure.”

  “We should say a prayer, then,” Shauna suggested. She closed her eyes and held her grandpa’s hand. “Dear Daddy, I know you are watching over us because you want us to be happy. Thank you for protecting Grandpa so he could finally come home and be part of our family. I love you, Daddy, amen.” Shauna opened her eyes. “Did you close your eyes? If you didn’t close your eyes, it’s cheating,”

  “I promise you, I closed my eyes,” he said, smiling.

  “Can I help you shave?” she asked stroking his face.

  Diego nodded, now having complete trust in his granddaughter.

  It was hard for me to watch, especially when she started singing “Amazing Grace” while tackling the second half of his face. Her touch was gentle as she glided the blade to his skin, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d done that for me the night I died.

  Shauna stopped. “Grandpa, please don’t cry.”

  “I’ve missed so much of your life.”

  “You’re here now, that’s all that matters. We all love you so much.” She finished shaving her grandpa’s face. When she was done, she’d revealed his strong jaw and high cheekbones. He looked handsome, ready to start his new life.

  “Shauna,” Diego said, his voice wrought with emotion. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

  “A doctor, maybe a musician,” Shauna replied. “From Mommy and Sara, I know how to care for people. From London, I learned how to swim, use makeup and how to play guitar. From Johnny, I learned how to cook and how to babysit little Angel. And from Daddy, I lear
ned how to love. When someone needs you, you can’t help but love them.” Shauna kissed his forehead. “Night, Grandpa.”

  After she left, he headed to bed and fell into a deep sleep. It was nice to see him so peaceful.

  I stayed away from him overnight, finding rest in Jen’s bed, but in the morning I had to go hurry things up. It looked like Diego had at least one bad dream in the night—not really surprising for a guy just out of prison—and he was a sweaty mess sprawled across the sheets. For the sake of his recovery and dignity, I decided to give him a prod before anyone else could see him that way.

  He was beyond grateful to wake in the guestroom, still a free man. He was up and in the shower in no time, and clean and dressed when Shauna came to collect him for breakfast.

  She stood in the doorway, wearing the pendant over her pajamas and holding Angel in her arms. “Come on, Johnny’s cooking, so take a few minutes with the baby, first.”

  I kissed her forehead. “Good job, sweetheart.”

  Shauna waited for Diego to sit on the edge of the bed, then handed Angel to him. Angel babbled as he rested his chubby face against Diego’s heart. Diego caressed the baby’s soft face; the child was calm, the huge brown eyes smiling. He held the baby close. “You are truly Remy’s son.”

  “Since Remy was your special friend, he would have wanted you to be Angel’s Daddy.”

  Sara knocked on the already open door. “Hey, Diego. I see you guys are getting along.”

  Diego nodded, rocking the baby in his arms. Angel started to shiver. “Are you cold, little one?”

  I watched as Diego took off his shirt, using it to wrap the baby in a warm embrace. The baby cooed as he rested his head to Diego’s bare skin. Cam appeared at the side of the bed, leaning over, a goofy smile on his face.

  I looked to my ghost mentor. “Cam, that’s not Remy, right? Please tell me that this baby is not a reincarnation of that holistic asshat.”

  “Sometimes, Sean, a baby is just a baby. And if anyone’s buried inside Angel, I choose to believe that it’s Emily.”

  While Diego was busy with Not-Remy, Sara was studying Diego’s leg, placing random pressure points. She didn’t seem to notice how much discomfort she was causing him.

  “There’s a study going on right now regarding the use of electronic implants to stimulate nerve endings,” she suggested. “Your leg would require more surgeries, but the possibilities for fuller movement are there.”

  It felt strange that Sara was talking to Diego like a student discussing a medical mystery with a college professor roleplaying a patient. There was a distinct lack of passion. “Cam, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

  “You mean what you’re not seeing?” he asked. “The fact that my father’s half-dressed, and she’s barely gone near him? Not that I want to see my father getting it on with your hot blonde sister, but—”

  I slugged Cam in the arm. “But I thought Diego was what she wanted.”

  “Shauna, let’s give your grandpa a chance to get dressed and join us for breakfast,” Sara said. “Only if you’re feeling up to it, of course. If not, I can bring you something.”

  “No, I’ll come. I need to learn to function on my own.”

  “Okay.” Sara took Angel from his arms, making the baby wail. “Hush, little one. He’ll be out soon, and I promise I’ll let him hold you all day.”

  I followed Sara as she left with Shauna and the baby. Johnny had set up a buffet table of items from sunny-side-up eggs to cut-up fruit, to bacon and sausage, and even handmade biscuits. He really outdid himself. When Diego emerged, my mother helped him to a seat.

  “I’m so glad you were able to join us. Can I make you a plate?”

  “I want to make Grandpa’s plate.” Shauna pouted. “I asked Johnny to make salsa so I could make a happy face on your eggs.”

  “Of course, my angel,” Diego replied. He took a seat on the sofa next to Jen.

  “Dad, will you lead us in prayer?” Jen asked.

  Diego nodded. Mother and Jen held his hands. Shauna sat on her grandfather’s lap as he lowered his head. “On this day, we give thanks for our blessings. We look towards the future—with love, hope, and possibility.”

  I sat in on Diego’s medical appointments that day. Diego’s remaining brain damage was treatable; with time his headaches and vertigo would fade. All good news.

  At around ten, Diego met with Sara’s friend, Dr. Addison Reyes, the woman running the nerve reconstruction study. She was a stunning forty-something redhead with hazel eyes, and also a single mom who’d taken Sara under her wing.

  “You must be Diego,” Addison said shaking his hand. “Sara tells me you’re Jen’s father? Your daughter’s is such an amazing chef. You must be so proud.”

  “I am, thank you so much.” As usual, the mention of Jen made him smile.

  I watched as some warrior-class flirtation unfolded right in front of Sara, who didn’t bat an eyelid.

  Addison pulled the curtain closed. “Sara, have your friend undress and lay on the examination table. I’ll be back in five. I’ll just take a quick call.”

  “Are you comfortable doing this?” Diego asked Sara.

  “Of course,” Sara said, “I’m a doctor.” She helped him onto the table. “Put your weight on my shoulder.”

  Diego chuckled. “To me, you’ll always be the little girl who showed me kindness when I truly needed it.”

  “And I always will be,” she said as she unbuttoned his shirt. “Anyway, Addison’s awesome.”

  He grinned. “Are you trying to play cupid?”

  “What do you mean ‘play’ cupid?” She winked at him.

  It struck me, a little while after Diego and Angel had done their huggy thing, and after Sara and Diego redrew the lines of their relationship, that I still hadn’t gone anywhere. I sat with Cam on a bench near the food truck, wondering what the hell it took to cross over.

  “Damn it. Couldn’t someone give us a clue? Even Remy got his damn wings.”

  “And your mom,” Cam said in an equally depressed tone. “I think she was tethered to this world because of Jayden. Now that he’s found happiness … well, who knows? Maybe she’ll come back as London’s kid.”

  “Please, no. That would just be complicated.” I got up. “I’m gonna go stand next to nice food. The smell’s good, at least.”

  As I moved next to Diego’s new squeeze in the queue, Johnny was working on a green stew with what looked like tofu cubes while Jen took orders through the main hatch.

  “That smells awful!” She laughed over her shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re trying to push tofu.”

  “Does not smell awful. And it’s not tofu, it’s Paleek Paneer—a kind of cheese.”

  “The cowboy cook made Indian food?” Addison said with a laugh. “I’m game.”

  Johnny ladled a spoonful of the dark green stew into a paper bowl and stuck a wedge of flatbread inside. “Come to the front of the line—here you go.”

  “What do I owe you?” she asked as the other people in line glared at her.

  “Nothing.” He raised his voice for everyone else’s benefit. “Anyone who wants to try something outside of their North Dakota comfort zone is free to come to the side entrance!”

  Addison laughed as she met him at the door. “Well, aren’t you just the sweetest.”

  Sara and Diego arrived shortly after. Sara was pushing him in a wheelchair while he held Angel, resting the baby’s head to his chest.

  Jen handed her father a special plate covered in foil. “Chicken enchiladas, the way Mom used to make them. And if you say you’d rather have spinach and cheese curds, I’m going to punch you in the leg.”

  Sara and Addison walked away to give Diego a chance to update Jen on his day’s appointments.

  “You weren’t kidding about his stunning eyes,” Addison said. “Jen definitely inherited his beauty.”

  Sara laughed. “Yeah, you were so focused on his eyes during the examination.”

  Addison
took a seat on a bench. “You could’ve warned me he was hot. All he had to do was take the shirt off, and I couldn’t stop talking rubbish for the rest of that appointment. Your fault.”

  “That’s my best friend you’re talking about,” Sara replied. “Seriously, just go talk to him. He’s the sweetest person.”

  “Best friend?” I said out loud.

  Cam shrugged. “It’s freewill.”

  We sat at the end of Sara’s bench as Addison went to the truck and waited for him to be done talking to Jen. Once he was served, Addison and Diego wandered off, heads together, laughing. After the lunch rush had died down, Jen bounded over from the truck’s side door, giggling.

  “Sara, did you just set my dad up on a date?”

  “Is that okay?”

  Jen gave Sara a lopsided smile. “It’s very okay.”

  I watched as the pair of them sat and talked like they’d never stopped being the best friends who’d taken over my hospital room when I was a teenager. This incredible pressure lifted off of me. I smiled, looking towards the sky. “I think I’m ready.”

  That night, I saw Johnny and Jen on the steps again, talking in low voices, bickering. Giggling.

  My feet felt lighter, like I had to press them to the ground. I laughed, heading straight for Diego’s room. With every step, the air around me grew brighter and thinner. I knocked hard on his door, making a real, solid sound. When he opened up, holding Angel in one arm, he was bathed in a heavenly glow. Over a dozen angels stood around me, I realized. I was the only one without wings. Not for much longer.

  “Do you remember when you said on my wedding day?” I asked.

  Diego nodded. “I remember like it was yesterday. I asked you to take care of my girls.”

  “I need you to continue that for me, now. Jen, Shauna, Sara … and don’t forget my mom.” Tears stung my eyes, then flowed. I didn’t care. I was about to be free.

  Angel peeped up at me, his eyes huge.

  “And as for this little miracle, make sure he grows up brave, strong and always surrounded by love.”