Strong Enough

by Teresa Hill

  “Here goes nothing.” My smile full of fear.

  My first step up creaks loudly and I pause before I take the next one. On stage, the old wood floor shifts and creaks with each step, I take to my stool.

  As I take a seat on the stool, the heat from the spotlight causes a bead of sweat to form at the small of my back. Reaching over I pick up my guitar and slide the strap over my head and adjust it on my shoulder. I adjust the microphone to be closer to my mouth and take one final deep breath.

  The light shining on me makes it difficult to see anyone in the crowd, but I already know there is a packed house.

  “Hi y’all I’m Reece Miller. I haven’t been on stage in quite a while but someone told me it was my calling and I needed to get back to it. So well, here I am. One thing I have learned is that sometimes life isn’t exactly what we want, and we have to accept things for what they are at the moment, but it doesn’t mean that it will always be that way. I heard this song, This is Not the End by Liz Longley and well I guess this is my answer to the future.”

  Leaning away from the microphone I check my guitar to make sure it’s in tune. I straighten back up and place my hands on the fret board and begin to strum. The beat is a rhythmic up down up down stroke. I let my mind go and feel the music as I continue to play and my eyes drift shut. Feeling the emotion of the last few months of fear, hope, and love, I let it all flow through the music as I sing.

  This is the hardest part.

  After we have come so far.

  Which turn to take.

  How do we make it through?

  Looks like we’re holding on.

  To something already gone.

  You got to believe, you got to believe.

  I won’t let this go.

  You know I’ll keep you close

  It might feel like it’s over but this is not the end.

  Could be a start of something

  Call it a new beginning.

  Don’t be afraid that’s just the way it goes

  As the words leave my lips my eyes flutter open and his gaze captures my attention. My chest tightens and I focus on not allowing my words to fill with emotion as I sing. I can see he understands, as I continue to sing directly to him.

  And I’ve got you here with me.

  That’s where you will always be.

  Where ever I am where ever I am

  I won’t let this go

  You know I’ll keep you close

  It might feel like it’s over

  But this is not the end

  This is not the end.

  I’ll never say goodbye

  Those words just don’t feel right….

  I’m watching Zane as I am finishing the song. He moves toward the door with one hand resting on the handle. His head hung slightly, he turns his face towards me as I finish.

  I won’t let this go, you know I’ll keep you close

  It might feel like it’s over, but this is not the end.

  I can’t say goodbye, those words don’t feel right

  It might feel like it’s over, but this is not the end

  This is not the end, this is not the end.

  He leans on the door and the moonlight pushes into the club. As he steps into the doorway, he pauses for a minute. I want him to stop and turn around. I want him to fight for me. I want him to do so much, but at the same time I don’t know what I can offer him. He is pausing longer than I expected and a twinge of hope sparks in me, but fades quickly when he doesn’t turn around but instead walks through the door, and I watch it close behind him along with a part of my heart.

  Zane Bauer