Somewhere In-Between (Breathless #1)

by Izzibella Beau

  Max opened his eyes and gazed upwards. He looked at the sky then to me. “I did. I really did at one point. But now, I just don’t know.” He sat up and pulled me closer to his side. He nestled his nose along my neck and softly kissed my cheek. “What if we both were able to go back, but then we wouldn’t be together? Who knows how long it would take to find one another again.” He leaned his head on my shoulder and put one hand on my thigh.

  “We know each other’s names, where the other lives, so why wouldn’t we be able to find one another again.”

  “What if only one of us goes back and the other can’t?”

  I had no idea where he was coming up with all these emotional thoughts. Usually, I was the deep thinker but Max sort of surpassed me on all of these questions he was asking. “I—I don’t know. Max, what are you getting at here?”

  He sat upright and lightly touched my cheek, so I would follow his hand to look up at him. “It’s just when I think I’ve found the person that I’ve spent my whole life looking for, and it happens to be somewhere in-between life and death, I’m not quite sure if I want to go back to the way things used to be.”

  I was surprised that he thought I was the one. I mean, I thought the same way too, but it was shocking to hear him admit it. “I know the feeling. Part of me wants us to go back, I mean we have our entire lives ahead of us. But then, I don’t want to leave what we have here.”

  “Mara.”

  I looked over at him and once again was taken back by this gorgeous guy seated next to me. “Max.”

  “I love you.”

  The breath that I didn’t need was taken away. The stomach that hadn’t had food in it since, well like since forever, turned over a hundred times. His eyes were searching mine, waiting for the answer that I knew I’d felt the first time that I saw him. “I love you, too.”

  Our bodies met with such a heated passion that it nearly tumbled us back over the cliff. It was as if we had waited our entire lives for just this one moment, the one moment that only a few get to share. That one moment when you know, that you’ve found that one and only person that you were willing to follow wherever the path may lead.

  Max leaned me back against the softness of grass and fallen leaves. Our clothes had somehow magically disappeared, and we were lying together in a puddle of nakedness. Neither one of us wasted any time as our bodies joined in a way that only longtime lovers could experience. It was as if we knew the needs and desires of the other without any words spoken. He knew what to do to bring me the greatest pinnacle of my deepest desires and I so graciously returned the pleasure back to him.

  Afterward, Max fell onto the bared space beside me. He leaned up on one arm, and I could feel him staring at me without having to open my eyes. His fingers lightly traced the outline of my face, along my collarbone, softly grazing my breast, and then rested on my stomach.

  “Max, do you think we were the only ones ever to have experienced this here in the in-between?”

  He chuckled at my odd question. I know he knew what I meant, but he was just laughing at my inability to say the word of what we’d just done. Or maybe, he was laughing at me being the only one who would think of such a question after such an incredible moment. “If you meant sex, or making love, or fu—”

  I put my hand over his mouth so that he would say the last word. “Yes, that’s what I meant.”

  Max took my hand away and locked his fingers with mine. “I’m not sure. If there hasn’t been, we could always make it two times that something like that happened here.”

  He kissed my neck while his hand moved downwards on my stomach. “Or three times.” Max’s touches were becoming more intimate. His hand was now between my thighs again, pressed tightly against my pleasure zone. “Or maybe four times.”

  A soft breeze of fingers swept across my heated point of desire, and I arched my back begging for more. Max didn’t leave any inch of my body untouched as he sensually loved me from head to toe. I screamed in pleasure as we both sent each other over the edge once more. I felt him come inside of me and that made this orgasm more erotic and rawer than the first. It was as if I could feel everything in a more heightened manner.

  We went through this moment time and time again. Both of us never tiring from the action or tiring of each other. We molded together perfectly in body, mind, and soul.

  * * *

  More time had passed, or at least, I think it did. Max and I spent more time doing all the activities that had captured our attention. I thought I could lay there forever wrapped up in his arms, not worrying about anything else except us being together.

  Then one day, it all seemed to be changing. I felt some distance coming at us. It was like something was pulling at me while he stood still. He was beside me, but I couldn’t feel his emotions or thoughts anymore. His touches were becoming less sensitive and felt like numbness had replaced the prickling feeling that I usually felt. I sensed him fading away, and I scrambled to get back to my comfort that I only had with him.

  “MAX!” I screamed as loud as I could.

  “Mara!” I heard Max yelling through the distance, but the image of him was slowly fading. “Come back. Don’t leave me here all alone again. I need you. Mara, I love…”

  I was falling and I didn’t know where to. The images of the car crash kept circling around in my head. I saw Van with Tori’s mom. I saw my car driving down the street. I saw a big truck coming towards my car. There was someone standing on the road. It was a boy. He stood perfectly still as my car lights shined through him. I looked more attentively as my car got closer to the figure. It was Max—he was there. He’d been there when I crashed. My car swerved over to the side into the path of the truck that was coming my way. I must’ve seen Max and that’s what caused me to swerve. The bright light, the crashing of metal, and then dull silence. I remembered it all, even the pieces that I wasn’t supposed to.

  Chapter Seven

  “Mara. Mara. Mara, honey can you hear me?”

  It was my mom’s voice. I could plainly hear her, but I couldn’t speak or see her very clearly. My eyes were beginning to focus, and I could see my mom, dad, and someone that was in a white lab coat with a stethoscope draped around his neck staring down at me.

  “Okay, Mara,” the older man with the graying hair spoke to me, “I want you to blink once for yes and twice for no. Can you do that?”

  Well duh, of course, I can do that. I blinked once, and my mom let out a small scream of joy.

  “Do you remember what happened?”

  I blinked once again. How could I forget what happened? Car accident, Max was there, and now¸ he’s completely all alone. I felt like the other half of me was missing. I felt lost without his touch, the sound of his voice, and just having him near me.

  “Oh honey, are you in pain?” My mom grabbed a tissue from the Kleenex box that was on the nightstand beside me. She dabbed at my eyes that obviously had tears coming from them.

  Of course, I’m in pain, my heart is like completely broken here, without having Max near me. My body felt okay, I guess. I saw there was a cast on my arm, and a few needles stuck in my other arm. I couldn’t move too well, speak, or see what I looked like, but overall I guess I’m doing okay since I was nearly heading to the other side.

  “I’m going to order some more testing to be completed tomorrow morning. I think she may be on the road to recovery.” The doctor or whatever he was patted my leg.” “I will check up on you a little later. And Mara…welcome back.” He shook my mom and dad’s hands then walked out.

  Both my mom and dad sat down on the chairs that were beside me. Each took hold of one hand and just continued to stare at me. My mom had tears streaming down her cheeks, and my dad looked as though his eyes were watering profusely. I wanted to scream at them that I needed to go back. I needed to find Max. I needed to bring him back. I needed him here with me, but I just couldn’t get any words out. I closed my eyes and could picture him oh…so clearly. His long brown curls that I ha
d to brush regularly back out of his eyes. His dark eyes that always shined with excitement. Our exclusive talks where we would hold onto each other and never let go. And our moments together where we became one. Where we were as close as two people could be with one another. I needed to see him, and I needed to find out how and why he was there the night of my accident.

  * * *

  I found out I was in a coma for almost six months. The summertime had come and gone, as did my high school graduation. Mom informed me that instead of being at our town hospital, I was in some huge medical facility in Boston. It seemed they were better equipped to handle complicated situations, such as my condition. My mom kept telling me that it would be soon when we would all be able to get back home. Dad had already gone back home and came back to visit on the weekends. Mom stayed in the hospital’s family rooms which most out of town guests stayed in that had family in long-term care.

  I was still in recovery waiting for that monumental moment that I could speak, but my voice box still hadn’t recovered from the trauma it endured. The doctors were optimistic about my ability to do so; I just had to wait until my body healed enough. I was growing more impatient by the day, and it had been almost two weeks since I woke up, I needed to ask about Max. I needed to know if he was here and how could I get back to be with him.

  I’m sure if I came out with this whole big story about what I’d seen and done; they would probably mark it up as some brain injury, but it was real—or, at least, I hoped it was.

  “Mara. I would like you to try and say the first thing that comes to your mind.” Dr. Peterson, the first doctor I’d seen when I had woken up was standing beside my bed with my mother. She was squeezing my hand encouraging me to try.

  There was only one thing on my mind, and I was trying like hell to get my voice and mouth to work together. “Mmm,” I managed to get one sound out.

  My mom’s eyes shined with tears, and the Dr. Peterson looked pleased that I was trying.

  Well no shit, why wouldn’t I want to talk? It’s not like I’d been holding back because I loved lying in a hospital bed for so long. I had an agenda, I had a goal, I had to find Max.

  “C’mon honey, I know you can do it.” Mom squeezed my hand even tighter, willing me on to keep trying.

  “Mmm.” Fuck, his name is not mmm. Focus and try again. “Mmmm-ax.” My tone sounded all scratchy and hoarse, but I was able to get Max’s name out.

  Mom looked all confused about what I’d said. Dr. Peterson questioned her with his eyes and she just shrugged her shoulders.

  “Max.” I tried to say it slower and more pronounced.

  “Max?” Mom questioned me about the name I was saying. I nodded my head that she was correct.

  “Does she know a Max or is there one in the family?” Dr. Peterson marked something down on the chart he was carrying around.

  “No, not that I can remember. I know there’s a Van, who’s her boyfriend, but I don’t even remember a Max at her school that she talked about.”

  Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Van my boyfriend. Ha, that’s a joke! If you only knew what I do about Van, you wouldn’t want me anywhere near him. “Max.” I willed myself to say his name out loud once again.

  Mom patted my arm. “I’m not sure what you mean, sweetheart.”

  “Well, I’m just happy to see that Mara can use her voice, and as it continues to strengthen, maybe she can explain this Max mystery.” Dr. Peterson patted my head like I was the family pet, then walked out of the room.

  “Max,” I said his name once more just to get my point across that there was no Van anymore in this picture.

  “Yes, okay dear. Just let your voice rest, so you don’t overstrain it.” Mom brushed back a strand of my fallen hair.

  She was right. I needed to stop pushing to get his name out. My throat felt like it was ripping apart and the last time I said his name barely came out as a whisper. I closed my eyes and saw his perfect face show up once again. I felt my eyes burn with the tears that I willed back, and my body felt a hundred times heavier as sadness weighed me down.

  * * *

  For the next few days, I was only able to get the name Max out before my throat felt as if it was going to collapse. The therapists who were in charge of my case kept urging me to try other sounds, but that was the only name that I wanted to hear. They kept giving me some liquid medication that was supposed to speed up the healing process and for the first few days, I had given up all hope of it working. Then it was on day seven of me being able to say that one word and when I spoke it didn’t hurt so bad. In fact, it felt as if I only had a sore throat like a common cold.

  “Okay Mara, were going to try this again. You know the routine. Let me here some more words, all right.” My therapist, Beth, was probably drained of hearing me say the one and same word over and over every time I spoke. She sat in front of me and my mom was behind her. Both looked like they were waiting for some magical miracle to occur, which I think right now, I could make happen.

  “I want to see Max.” That was the first sentence I was able to get out since I started therapy to get my voice and speech back to normal.

  “Well, Mara you will have to tell us who Max is.” Both Beth and mom seemed overjoyed that I got more than one word out.

  “His name is Max Carter.” I took a small break as my voice started to crackle. “I h-have to find him.”

  “Mara, I don’t remember anyone by that name from back home. Are you sure you’ve met him?” Mom seemed concerned that Max was the only one that I wanted. “Do you remember your friends from home?”

  “Ashley.” That was about the only person that I had a genuine friendship with, everyone else was sort of on a ‘hey, what’s up?’ association.

  “What about—?”

  I held up my hand for mom not to say the name that I knew was coming next. “Van, yes I remember him.”

  Mom nodded her head. She must’ve gotten the hint from my look and tone of disgust when I said his name.

  “What can you tell me, about this, Max Carter?” My therapist seemed quite intrigued about knowing this person that I've never spoken about before. Maybe she was being skeptical about me coming out of nowhere with a name that neither of my parent’s had ever heard, or maybe she was interested in what occurs when one is in a coma and what’s on the other side.

  “Max was in an accident at the Old Granite Quarry in Becket, Massachusetts. I don’t know all the details, but he supposedly slipped on something and fell over the highest cliff there. He has dark brown hair that lays in curls down to his shoulders. His eyes are the same color, and he has an English accent.”

  “I remember a guy like that being here, I think. There are so many that come and go, but unless I have direct contact with them for speech issues, I don’t get the chance to follow along with their case.”

  “He’s here?” My energy level sparked up about one hundred percent when I realized that Max may be here at the same place that I was.

  “I’m not sure. It was awhile ago that I had heard about his accident.”

  “Maybe you had heard about or saw something about him on the news?” Mom knew how to bring me down.

  Why couldn’t she believe that I had met Max?

  “The items that you described about him were general, so maybe all that was on some report that you’d seen.”

  “He has a small scar from a dog bite. It’s on the backside of his thigh on the left-hand side.” Gee, is that specific enough? I’m sure something like that wouldn’t be on some damn news report.

  Mom and Beth looked at each other. Both seemed to have no reply for the detail that I’d just given to them.

  “Well, Mara. I am so happy with your progress today. You are doing remarkable. I’m going to get with Dr. Peterson and your physical therapist and maybe we can have you out of here by the week’s end.” She stood up and patted my leg.

  “You mean we may get to go back home?” Mom was a bit more ecstatic about this news than I was.


  “If everything comes back positive, then I don’t see the issue with you returning home and finishing therapy closer to where you live. Mara, get some rest.” And she was out the door onto her next client.

  “Isn’t that great, baby? You are coming home!” Mom kissed me on the cheek and sat down on the bedside chair. It seemed that this was the best news she’d heard in a long while as the smile stayed on her face for a long time.

  * * *

  I was finally able to move around pretty well. I still had little aches and pains, but I could go down the hall by myself and not have any issues with walking. My speech had gone back to normal, and all of testings’ came back normal. That meant I was ready to go home.

  I had my speech therapist coming in this afternoon and hopefully, she’d found something out about Max.

  Mom wouldn’t ask anyone, and she still believed that I had heard all about it on some news channel. I even gave her another particular on him, like he hated when I tickled him and was most ticklish when I kissed him along the neck. She just blew it off as if I were making this all up in my head, but I knew that Max was real. I just had to find him.

  I was by myself when the therapist came knocking. Mom had stepped out for a bit, which made me happy. She needed to get out for a while, and hopefully, I could get some good news here soon about Max.

  “Mara. Aren’t you looking so alert and awake.” Beth and her assistant came in and sat down.

  “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good.”

  “That’s good to hear. You sound great, too.”

  “Thanks. My mom likes to talk a lot, so there are lots of questions that I need to answer."

  Both ladies chuckled at my comment. It seemed that they had also picked up on the fact that when my mom got to know you, she was quite the chatterbox. “I have some news for you before we begin. But whatever you hear, you didn’t hear it from me.” Beth winked at me and smiled.