The Missing Pieces

by H. S. Strickland

  Stop it, Sloane! You can’t do this! Job to do, remember?

  I pushed at Ryan’s shoulders to get him unlatched from my mouth.

  “What’s wrong?” He moved his mouth down to my neck, nibbling and kissing.

  “No. Ryan, stop,” I breathed. His mouth on my neck felt amazing, but I needed him to stop and listen to me.

  “Why?” He finally pulled away from me, releasing me from my foggy daze his mouth put me in.

  “Because, I need to leave so I can go to work.” I reiterated my earlier statement.

  “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. I called Mace and let him know that we wouldn’t be coming in today.” He smirked and tried moving his mouth back to mine.

  I held up my hand and laughed when his face collided with it. He pulled away and glared, causing my smile to grow larger.

  “I seriously need this to go slower,” I mumbled, shifting my eyes away from his.

  Ryan set me on my feet, took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I’m not sure I know how to go slow,” he replied.

  “I’ve never been in a relationship, Ryan. Never taken the time to get to know someone. I never wanted to and I didn’t have the time. Whatever is happening between us is new to me. And yes, I’m scared and nervous. I’m scared of the unknown. I’m scared of getting my heart broken. So, as I said before, I need this to go slow.” I looked him in the eyes because I needed him to see me. I needed him to see the real me. The girl that didn’t have any family. The girl that has been scared for the last 16 years. The girl that rarely came out of her shell. For once, I wanted somebody to see who I truly was, not the picture I painted for them to see.

  Ryan stalked toward me until I backed into the bed. He pushed on my shoulders lightly so I landed flat on my back. He loomed over me, his face unreadable, making me nervous as hell.

  “I could give you that, Sloane, but I know that’s not what you need. You want slow and sweet because it gives you time to run away when you want. Gives you time to twist things up in that beautiful head. You need fast. You don’t have a chance to run away if things are fast. You may want slow, but I’m not going to give that to you because I know you need fast. I’m not going to lie and say you won’t get your heart broken, because it could happen. I will try my hardest to make sure it doesn’t happen, but it still could. The unknown is the beauty of being in a relationship. You have to give it a try or you’ll be left wondering ‘what if’ for the rest of your life.”

  The breath that I had been holding whooshed out of me.

  I was pretty sure I was going to die, because I couldn’t take in anymore air.

  How in the hell did Ryan suffocate me with those words? It also could have been because he was looming over me, looking devastatingly handsome. Who the hell cared what it was that robbed me of oxygen. All I cared about were Ryan’s words. Every bit of what he said was true. If he gave me slow then I would run. I would retreat to my mind and find every excuse in the book to keep him as far away as possible.

  But wasn’t that what I needed? Him as far away from my ice cold heart? My mind was so messed up. I came here for a reason. It wasn’t to cuddle up with Ryan, but now I had to. That was the only way to get my job done. The part of me that wasn’t attached to my job wanted to go slow so Ryan couldn’t get into my heart. But the part of me that had never had anything wanted to say fuck it, and let go. Let Ryan go fast with me. Let him do whatever he wanted with me.

  Ryan lifted off me and stood at the end of the bed. He had a contemplative look on his face, as if he was trying to figure out what to do.

  “I can’t go slow with you, but I can take you out on a date. Therefore, you need to get your sweet ass up and go home to get ready.” He gave me a devilish grin and gestured for me to get up.

  I wasn’t sure going on a date was the best idea, but then again, I needed to get close to him so I could get my answers. What harm could it do? I would go home, reinforce the little bit of wall Ryan tore down, and everything would be fine.

  Having made up my mind, I responded, “Okay, but I need to know what to wear.”

  His eyebrows hit his hairline and he looked a little confused.

  “What?” He laughed lightly, “Not that I’m complaining, but why aren’t you fighting me?” He was genuinely confused.

  “What harm could one date do?” I repeated my earlier thoughts as I got up and began putting my clothes on.

  “Oh, I could do a lot of harm, Killer,” he growled, which caused my pussy to clench.

  Ryan was a dangerous man with a hot body, killer eyes, and an arrogant attitude. I bet he had all the women in the state of Florida panting after him.

  “I need to go so I can get ready.” I had just finished pulling my shirt over my head and tried moving around him. He stopped me with an arm around my waist, bringing my back to his chest-his hard chest. His lips found a path on my neck and started kissing. His path ending, he spun me around and devoured my mouth. He slowly slid his tongue inside, stroking softly. This kiss felt different. It was soft, sensual. A promise of what was to come.

  He pulled away, smirking when he noticed my erratic, heavy breaths. “You can go now,” he winked, turned me around, gave me a light shove, and swatted my ass as I stumbled away.

  He was so damn full of himself, although, I suppose he had a right to be.

  I had been at home for the last two hours.

  When I had gotten to my rental house I sat down on the couch and took in a long, deep breath. So much had changed in the last 24 hours and it exhausted me. Ryan had gotten past some of my carefully structured walls. I wasn’t really sure how. Maybe it was the ease that came with his personality. His sky-blue eyes that seemingly undressed my soul. Most likely a combination of the two. Whatever it was, I didn’t care, I just had to be more careful. Which meant no more sleep overs, or drinking around him.

  Deciding that I needed to push Ryan out of my mind and get ready, I shoved the hair out of my face and got off the couch. After stripping of my clothes I stepped into the scolding hot shower and sighed. The water felt heavenly against my tense muscles. I couldn’t remember the last time I relaxed alone, without all the distractions of my job. The lack of relaxation had started to become apparent.

  I stayed in the shower longer than usual because of the hot water. When the water started getting cooler I got out and wrapped a towel around my body then trekked into my bedroom. I noticed the light on my phone was blinking, indicating I had a missed call or text.

  I hit the power button, and then unlocked it. There was a text from Ryan.

  R: Wear something sporty

  My eyebrows drew together. Where could he be taking me?

  S: Where are you taking me?

  I set my phone back down and towel dried my hair while I awaited his response, which came a few minutes later.

  R: It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you

  Of course he wouldn’t tell me. Of course it had to be a surprise. I finished towel drying my hair, too scared to blow dry it. If I took a blow dryer to it, it fluffed out so much I looked like I stuck my finger in a socket. Therefore, I stayed as far away as I could from hair-dryers.

  When my hair was mostly dried I went to the bathroom to apply my make-up. Since Ryan told me to wear something sporty I kept my make-up to a minimal. I didn’t want to sweat it off after five minutes in the Florida heat.

  I slipped on some shorts, a tank top, and sneakers, and then sat on the couch with my phone in my hand. I texted Ryan, letting him know that I was ready and about to head out.

  R: Stay, I’ll come pick you up

  I immediately started freaking out. Of course Ryan knew where I lived considering it was on my employment application, but I still didn’t want him over. My house was where I hid my real reason for being here. If Ryan happened upon anything I would be royally screwed. Ryan could never figure out my hidden motives. I would have to keep him as far away as possible.

  S: No, that
’s okay. I already left

  Although it wasn’t the truth it would keep him away. I gathered everything I would need and went outside to my car. I set my phone down in the passenger seat and didn’t look at it again. I was flustered. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. The thought of Ryan in my house scared the shit out of me.

  A little while later I was pulling into the parking garage at Ryan’s condo. I rested my head against the seat and took in a deep breath. The entire time I was at my house I was also reinforcing the steel walls around my heart. I could already feel said walls starting to crumble because I knew I was going to be close to Ryan.

  Fuck!

  I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be around Ryan and pretend I was only interested in him because my job demanded it. I was actually interested in him. I wanted to get to know him better without my job forcing me to.

  I was irritated with myself and work. I had always loved what I did. It was the only thing I had. The people there were my only family. But I was beginning to resent it. It made having a real life impossible.

  Deciding to ignore the war raging inside me, I picked my phone up and texted Ryan to let him know I was here. A few minutes later he was knocking on my window. I opened the door and stepped out, smiling at him.

  “You ready to go?” He smiled back.

  “Yeah, let me lock up real quick,” I told him, turning to lock my car.

  I turned back and began to walk away. I could feel Ryan’s eyes burning a hole in my ass for a few seconds before he caught up to me and grabbed my hand. He intertwined our fingers together, causing my heart to flutter faster than it already was.

  We had been on the interstate for 15 minutes before I had gained enough courage to speak again.

  “So, where are we going?” I squeaked out. Yes, squeaked. Since when did a man unnerve me enough to make me fucking squeak?

  “Not telling you,” he replied, a smirk evident on his face.

  “You know, I really hate surprises,” I informed him.

  “Well that’s a damn shame because this is a really good surprise.” His excitement was rolling off of him in waves. I really wouldn’t have been surprised if he started bouncing in his seat.

  I rolled my eyes at his kid-ish excitement; it was contagious. It also made me that much more curious as to where he was taking me.

  Two hours later and Ryan was handing me a blindfold that he pulled out of his back pocket. I looked at him sideways, my skepticism evident.

  “I’m not putting that on,” I told him, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly.

  “Oh quit being stubborn and put the damn thing on,” he jested, although there was a hint of seriousness in his tone.

  “I told you, I hate surprises, hence the reason I am not putting on that blindfold.”

  “Would it kill you to listen for once?”

  “Probably,” I quipped back at him.

  “Alright smartass,” he smiled devilishly while veering over into the emergency lane.

  “What the hell!” I yelled, taking a hold of the ‘oh-shit-handle’.

  “You won’t put it on, so I’m gonna pull over and put it on you,” he told me nonchalantly, as if pulling over to put on a blindfold was the norm.

  He was out of his ever-loving-mind!

  Ryan slowly hit the brakes and put the SUV in park. He opened the door and jumped out. He rounded the hood, opened my door, and turned me around to face him. He took the blindfold from my hands and put it over my eyes.

  The sad thing? I was too dumbfounded to stop him. I just stared at him (until the blindfold was on) with my mouth gaping open.

  “Ryan!” I yelled, again, even though it fell on deaf ears. He kissed me lightly and turned my legs back around so I was sitting properly in the seat.

  I heard the door shut and it must have snapped me out of my stunned state. I reached up to untie the blindfold, but stopped when Ryan said, “you take it off and I’ll turn the car around and go back home.”

  I grumbled. I wanted to tell him to go ahead, but I kind of wanted to know where he was taking me.

  “Fine,” I sighed.

  “I never pegged you for one to give up so easily,” Ryan teased.

  “Do you want me to fight?” I asked, incredulously.

  “No, not real-wait, yes. I like it when you fight. Gets me hard.” Even though I had the blindfold on I could practically see him moving his eyes of the road for a second to waggle his eyebrows at me.

  “I think I know you too well already,” I mused.

  “Why do you think that?” Ryan asked with amusement lacing his tone, startling me considering I hadn’t realized I had said that out loud.

  “Because I’m pretty sure you wiggled your eyebrows at me.” I told him with a little laugh.

  He was quiet for a minute. The only noise filling the SUV was the soft music coming from the radio.

  “Yeah, I was,” he spoke quietly.

  The rest of the drive to wherever was in awkward silence. I couldn’t see Ryan, but I could feel the tension rolling off him. I could only think of one reason he would be filled with tension. That being my saying I knew him too well already. Maybe he was thinking that we were going too fast if I could already read his expressions without seeing them. But maybe it was for the best. Maybe it would make him back off, not want to be with me as much. Somewhere deep down I wasn’t sure that that was what I wanted though. Of course I knew Ryan was bad for me, or rather I was bad for him, but telling that to my heart and body was a tough endeavor.

  I felt the SUV stop then heard Ryan’s door slam shut, causing me to jump since I had been completely lost in my thoughts. Seconds later my door was being opened. Ryan placed his hands on my hips and lifted me down from the vehicle. Ya know, since I was blind for the time being and couldn’t see to get down. My hands naturally fell to his shoulders when he gripped my hips. And oh Lord, what nice, broad shoulders they were. I could have moaned at the feel of them, but didn’t want to embarrass myself further.

  Ryan, keeping his hands on my hips, turned so his front was to my back. He bent and whispered in at my ear, “Start walking.”

  Why those two words turned me on, I hadn’t a clue. I started walking, despite being blindfolded and not knowing my surroundings. For some reason I trusted Ryan to take care of me. He guided me the way he wanted me to go, causing my skin to tingle from his body heat. I was glad he didn’t know just how much he affected me. I was worried he would use it against me in some way or another.

  A few steps later he stopped me by gripping my hips tighter. He began working at the blindfold to undo it, but told me to keep my eyes closed until he told me otherwise. The blindfold fell away and I wanted so badly to open my eyes. My interest was more than piqued. Ryan’s heat left and I immediately felt the loss of it.

  “Open up your eyes, Killer,” Ryan said from somewhere in the distance.

  I did as I was told and gaped at the sight before me. I was sure I looked silly. My hand was at my chest, feeling the rapid speed of my heart, and my mouth was hanging wide open. I was probably drooling a little, too.

  Ryan shifted on his feet nervously, “Was it too much?”

  I shook my head silently. I finally snapped out of my stupor and ran full force, straight into Ryan’s arms. This was one of the nicest things somebody had done for me. I wanted to kick myself for not agreeing to the blindfold sooner, making the trip here faster. I was honestly thinking about going back to the car to have a quick fuck as a thank you.

  When I opened my eyes just moments previously, the first thing that greeted me was the bright sun. When my eyes finally adjusted, Ryan was standing a few feet in front of me with two tickets. I hadn’t understood the tickets till I gazed behind him. The big bridge that read “Universal Studios” shocked the hell out of me. This was the last place I had expected Ryan to be taking me.

  In the last 16 years of my life I had never stopped to have fun. To slow down and appreciate all that life had to offer. That being said,
I was so glad Ryan was giving that to me. I couldn’t think of a better person to spend the day with.

  “So, I take it you like my surprise?” Ryan chuckled softly when I squeezed him tighter around his middle section.

  I tipped my head back and smiled a huge smile. “I love it. You’re the best!” I kissed him loudly on the cheek and gazed at him. He was truly happy to see me happy.

  I pulled away from him and tugged on his arm to get him moving toward the entrance. I had a little extra pep in my step from the excitement. I was so happy to get the thrill of a roller-coaster. Although I had never been I had heard stories. I was an adrenaline-junkie and I knew this theme park would offer me plenty adrenaline rushes.

  We went through the gates, stopping when a staff member asked for our tickets then put wristbands on us. When we got into the park I gazed around me, curiously.

  Everything around me was so large. I could see the top of some roller-coasters, accompanied with the occasional scream. I couldn’t wait to experience some of the rides as the others were.

  “Which one do you want to get on first?” Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck.

  I looked around until I spotted a green ride and pointed at it. “That one,” I said, bouncing on my toes.

  Ryan let go of me and took my hand. I gazed down at our intertwined fingers and wanted to cry. My entire life, all I had wanted was someone to share my life with. Someone to tell my problems to. Someone to hold my hand. Now I had that, but it was forced. It was fake. Ryan liked the person I was paid to be, not the real me. I would never be able to show him the real me. As soon as I was done with my job here I would leave and Ryan would never see me again.

  I shook away the painful thoughts and gripped Ryan’s hand tighter. For now I would enjoy what I was given.