All for Maddie

by Jettie Woodruff

  I wanted to be drunk that night. I wasn’t about to do anything in his parent’s house. The looks and the touching was getting to me rather quickly. He wouldn’t touch me if I was drunk. That was a fact.

  We had just gotten done exchanging gifts when Maddie started getting whiny. It was almost ten at night, well past her bed time. Alex carried her into bed, but she didn’t want him to read to her.

  “No, no, Twinton a big person,” she assured him, taking the book from him and handing to her cousin to read. Trenton crawled into bed and began reading the new book that she had just opened for Christmas.

  I went into kiss her goodnight and was pushed away and ignored. I was bugging her. She didn’t want me to bother them. I laughed and kissed her on the head.

  I stopped off in mine and Alex’s room for the night and sat on the bed, digging through my purse.

  “You’re on the pill?” Regan asked, stopping at the door.

  Of course I was on the pill. I wasn’t having anymore Maddie’s anytime soon.

  “Uh, yeah. Duh.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean, why?”

  “You guys really don’t talk do you?” she asked. I looked at her peculiarly as I popped the pill from the package.

  “We need to talk about me being on the pill?” I asked confused.

  “Never mind. Forget it. Come on, Dad’s making us play some dumb card game.”

  I followed, but still wondered what that was all about.

  We played cards until almost midnight. I was barely drinking and almost wished we were home. I was almost sure I would have told Alex that I was ready, that I wanted him to make love to me. I wouldn’t do it there.

  For whatever reason, I didn’t sleep in my full body armor flannel that night. I went to bed in nothing but a night shirt. Maybe I was hoping he would make a move so that I didn’t have to. He didn’t. He did, however, hold me close to him and I loved it. I loved feeling his body against mine and knew without a doubt that I was falling for Alex Wesson. Who would have ever thought?

  Chapter 11

  Christmas morning was probably the worst day of my life. Maddie woke with a fever, had a running nose, and coughed the entire day. Alex and I got up and left when she crawled in bed with us feeling hot. She didn’t care about opening presents when we got home. She just laid on the sofa and watched television or napped.

  Alex had to go out and look for any place that was open on Christmas day to get her more Tylenol. I held her for a bit until she threw up all over both of us and the blanket. I felt horrible for her. She was so excited to get home and see if Santa came but she was too sick to enjoy it. I bathed her, put clean pajamas on her, and laid her back down on the sofa.

  “I cold,” she whined.

  “Okay, mommy will go get daddy’s fuzzy blanket.”

  I walked up to his room and looked for the warm white blanket for her. It wasn’t hanging over the edge of the bed like it normally was. I opened his closet and pulled it from a shelf, looking up at a manila folder as I did. I almost closed the door to the walk in closet trying to tell myself no. I couldn’t do it. I just wanted to see. I’d only take a quick peak. It was probably nothing anyway, something to do with work maybe.

  I’m sure had I looked in the mirror I would have seen a frown when I read the header. ‘Lancaster County Common Pleas Court’ I couldn’t believe it. I signed that paper. That was the paper to have Maddie’s name changed to Wesson. I never signed soul custody over to him. He deceived me. Why would he do that? Mr. Alex Wesson held soul custodial rights to my daughter.

  “Mommy!” Maddie called from downstairs.

  I dropped the folder on the bed, leaving the evidence behind. That son of a bitch. Did he really think I was just going to lie down and let him take my daughter? I may have been a twenty-one year old naïve girl, but I wasn’t stupid. I would die before I let this happen.

  I didn’t know where Alex was. I didn’t know how much longer I had. I took the blanket wrapped Maddie in it and walked out the door with her. It was freezing out and I didn’t even take the time to grab my own coat. I didn’t care about that. I put her in her seat and snuggled the blanket around her in the cold car. I kept watching the street, waiting to see his car as the window took forever to defrost enough for me to see out. It was like a bad movie where you knew the villain was going to show up and kill the victim.

  I have no idea what I was thinking. Maddie was sick, we had no clothes, nowhere to go that he wouldn’t find us, and a credit card that he would report stolen before I made it to the next town. At least the gas tank was full. I wondered how far we could go on a tank. He would report his car stolen. Shit. What the hell was I supposed to do?

  I didn’t go the way I knew he would be coming. Instead I darted in and out of side streets wondering where to go. If I went to my dad’s he would find me. That would be the first place he looked.

  Regan! She was my only choice. I didn’t have anyone else. I could have called Kylie, but we were really just acquaintances. I thought we were friends, until I met Regan. Regan was my one and only true friend. Wait, she’s still Alex’s sister. How far would she actually go for me? Blood is thicker than water, everyone knows that. I had to try. I didn’t have any other options.

  “Merry Christmas,” Regan, cheerfully answered.

  “Regan,” I replied in an unstable scared voice.

  “Whit? What’s wrong? Is Maddie okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine, sleeping in the backseat.”

  “Backseat? Where are you? Where’s Alex?”

  “I took Maddie and ran with her. I don’t know what to do, Regan.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I don’t know, just driving. I have nowhere to go that he won’t find me.” I rattled on and on about him finding me, stopping payment on his card, and everything that I had already let flood my mind.

  “Meet me in Starbucks parking lot. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “It’s Christmas. I don’t want to take you away from your family on Christmas,” I assured her.

  “It is Christmas. My daughter opened her gifts as soon as we got home. She’ll be in her room for five days with all of her electronics. My husband will be asleep on the sofa most of the day and my friend needs me. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Turn your phone off.”

  “Why?”

  “He’ll trace it pretty quick. Shut it off.”

  “Do you have any Tylenol for Maddie?” I asked, knowing the chances of me finding some place open for medicine was slim to none.

  “Yes, I’ll bring it. Turn your phone off,” she demanded again. She knew her brother better than I thought she did.

  I waited the longest ten minutes of my life, waiting for Alex to pull in. I just knew he would get to me before Regan did. It seemed more like ten hours than ten minutes.

  Regan finally pulled in and jumped in my car.

  “What the hell happened?” she asked, shivering from the cold.

  “Everything, Regan. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong with Alex. He has forced me by using my daughter to live with him for the last six months. Maddie is here because he raped me. She is a product of rape,” I blurted. I didn’t care. I had to tell someone. “I know he’s your brother and all, but I swear he raped me. He drugged me at that party and raped me.” I hadn’t even realized I was crying until Regan reached over and wrapped me in her arms.

  “What happened today? Why are you picking Christmas day to run?”

  “He tricked me. A month or so back he made me sign a paper to have her name changed to his. It wasn’t that at all. I signed over all my rights to Maddie. I signed her over to him. Oh God, how could I be so stupid.”

  “Didn’t you read it?”

  “No, you and I were going shopping that day. I told him I would read it when I got back. He got really mad and demanded that I sign it. I never thought I was signing over my rights to her. I would have never done that, Regan. Why is he so adamant about taking he
r from me? Why couldn’t he just go marry someone else and have his own kid? He raped me, Regan. He shouldn’t have any rights to her at all.”

  “I know why,” she sadly said.

  “What? Why?”

  “Alex had lymphoma cancer two years ago. He wasn’t supposed to live another year. He was in remission six months later. When we found out that he was sick, it took us almost a month to get him to try. He wanted to die. He refused the treatment. He kept saying that he deserved to die, and he was getting what was due to him. He almost did die a couple of times. He was so sick. The high doses of chemo and radiation killed every chance he would ever have at having kids. We tried to talk him into freezing some of his sperm, but he refused, saying once again that he didn’t deserve to have a family. I never knew why he thought he didn’t deserve to live or have a family. He was referring to what he did to you. I know it.”

  “I don’t understand. If he felt so bad for what he did, doesn’t he know that this is a million times worse than being raped by every man on earth? I love her. I’m not about to lie down while he takes my daughter, because he can never have another child.”

  “I don’t know how Alex thinks, Whit. I do know that Alex doesn’t do anything half ass. He is asinine when it comes to detail. Especially something that he feels strongly about.”

  “What am I supposed to do Regan? He’s not taking her. I’ll kill him first.”

  “This is what you’re going to do,” she said, barking orders, going down the line, and making phone calls. I was dumbfounded. How the hell did she do that?

  “Holy shit, Regan. You act like you’ve done this before,” I exclaimed.

  She smiled as her biker friend Red pulled up in an older Cadillac Eldorado. “My parents have owned a movie chain my entire life, I’ve seen a lot. Stop and buy a Tracfone. Text me your number. Now get out of here before I start crying and you end up in jail for kidnapping.”

  I laughed but it wasn’t really funny. She was right. As absurd as it was, I could actually be arrested for kidnapping Maddie.

  “I’m going to pay you back?” I promised.

  She hugged me as I fastened Maddie into the back seat, leaned in and kissed her sleeping head while I turned to hug and thank Red.

  “Get out of here,” Regan demanded, removing her coat and giving it to me. She literally just took the shirt right off her back for me.

  I got into the old car with the white leather seats, praying that it had heat. I took the folded map that Red already had outlined for me and headed to Sarasota, Florida. What the hell was I doing? I didn’t need to answer that. I knew what I was doing. I was doing it all for Maddie. I had to. I was afraid of losing her for good.

  It would take almost two days to arrive at our new destination. Would this car even make it that far? Red assured me that it would. I drove for two hours with my mind going crazy. Maddie slept, still not feeling well as I thought about every scenario possible. I knew Alex had to know I’d taken her and left. I left the evidence right on his bed. I wanted to call my dad. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to worry him, and I didn’t really know how much Alex was capable of. Could he have put a trace on my dad’s phone too? I wasn’t taking the chance. It was going to be me and Maddie living in a state I’d never even been to.

  I was thankful that my dad had called first thing that morning to wish us all a Merry Christmas. He would have had an APB put out on me had I not talked to him or let Maddie talk to him on Christmas.

  I was almost to 61 south, almost three hours into my journey when Maddie finally woke.

  “I hungry,” I heard from the backseat.

  “Hi, baby. Do you feel better?”

  “My tummy hungry.”

  I smiled. She felt better. Thank God. “Okay, mommy will stop in a minute and get you something to eat.”

  I was a horrible mom. I didn’t pack anything. I just ran. Maddie didn’t make it to the little truck stop before wetting her pants. She had to stay in them until they dried. I would stop and pick us up a couple of things before we stopped for the night. Thanks to Regan’s credit card and my 600 in cash that I took from my own bank account.

  “Where my daddy go?” Maddie wanted to know.

  “Daddy is at home working.”

  “I have a open my presents now,” she remembered.

  “We’ll open them tomorrow,” I lied.

  “One sweeping time?”

  “A couple sleeping times. Let’s stop and get you some clothes and some gummy bears. How does that sound?” I asked, wanting to help her forget the presents that she never opened.

  “I have a gween one.”

  We got a room in a nice little town in Missouri, stopped at the local Walmart, and bought a few things to keep Maddie entertained during our long trip. I wanted to drive into the night before stopping. I couldn’t. She was tired of riding and her three year old energy was wreaking havoc on my nerves. I knew I didn’t have the extra money, but I couldn’t help it. She didn’t get any of her new toys. I spent almost three of my six hundred in cash on a portable DVD player, movies, clothes, pajamas, and shoes. She didn’t even have shoes on her little feet. Of course they had to be cowboy boots. She insisted.

  I ran a tub of water in the hotel room and opened the new tracphone. I needed to know what was going on. What was Alex saying? What was his action plan? I knew he had called Regan. She would have been the first person he called. Shit, what if he called my dad looking for me? He would be worried sick.

  “I have been worried sick about you. I meant stop and buy a phone right away, not at eight o’clock at night. How’s Maddie?”

  “She’s feeling better. Still a little warm, but she ate well.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I don’t know. Somewhere in Missouri. Have you heard anything?”

  “Oh my God, Whit. He’s livid. I’ve never seen him so mad in all my life.”

  “He doesn’t know that you helped me, does he?”

  “No, he’s clueless. He doesn’t understand how you could just disappear. The cops found your car and phone two hours after you left.”

  “He called the cops? Did he call my dad?”

  “No, but he did make mom do it. She pretended to call to wish them a Merry Christmas. He was happy and cheerful, like he didn’t know anything.”

  I could see Alex pacing the floor. I knew he was outraged without even seeing him.

  “I’m going to pass your number on to Red. He knows someone that owns a little diner there. He said he would talk to him and get you a job under the table waitressing until you figure out what you’re going to do.”

  “What am I going to do, Regan?”

  “I don’t know, sweetie. He is making you out to be crazy.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He told me that you went off the deep end, ranting and raving something about him raping you and plotting to murder you. I knew it was all lies, but it’s what he is telling the cops.”

  “Are the cops looking for me?”

  “Yes, and Vince doesn’t think there is much you can do. You don’t have a leg to stand on. He called his sister who is a divorce attorney in Chicago. She thinks you waited too long to contest your parental rights.”

  “I didn’t know I was giving up my parental rights.”

  “I know, but it’s like the rape. She doesn’t think that would ever stand up either. You waited too long for that accusation too.”

  “Yeah, my own attorney pretty much told me that. What am I going to do, Regan? Maybe you can talk to him. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

  “He won’t. I tried. He is deeming you crazy and wants Maddie.”

  I was never going to see my family again. It was going to be me and Maddie. I couldn’t take that chance. He wasn’t taking Maddie from me. I would kill him first.

  “Don’t call me anymore, Whit. I’ll call you from the theater phone or something. I don’t trust him. He is the one acting crazy right now.”

  “You believe me, don�
�t you, Regan?”

  “I believe every word you disclosed. Don’t worry. You’ll be okay. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I was beyond tired as Maddie and I continued our journey the following morning. I didn’t sleep a wink. I was sure that the door was going to be busted in at any second. Every little noise had me jumping out of bed with Maddie and going to the window.

  Maddie on the other hand was back to being her silly little self. The cold medicine helped and the DVD player was a Godsend. She was so happy, singing and talking to the cartoon, hanging from the back of the seat, oblivious to what was going on around her. I wished that Mommy could say the same. Every time I passed a police cruiser, my heart sped to an unhealthy beat.

  I didn’t want to stop nor did I want to spend another eighty bucks on a room, but I didn’t want to arrive in the middle of the night either. I wanted it to be bright and sunny, so that I could see what I was getting into. Red and the other bikers from the bar were down right humble. They would have pulled the devil out of a ditch. I didn’t know anything about these guys. I was a twenty-one year old single mother. I still had to be cautious.

  I did sleep that night with Maddie nestled right next to me. I think the emotional exhaustion won. I didn’t wake until Maddie woke me the next morning flushing the toilet, washing her hands, and singing her ABC’s out of order. I smiled as she climbed back in bed beside me.

  “Where my daddy go?” she asked. I smiled. She missed him. It broke my heart.

  “Daddy is working,” I lied. I didn’t know what else to say to get her to understand. She was three, she didn’t understand any of this. Hell, I didn’t understand any of this. How could I go from being happy, living at the resort in my own little house with my own little river beach to this? It was crazy.

  We were only four hours from Horizon trailer park, where we would stay until I could figure out what to do. I tried to interact with Maddie as much as possible as I drove, anticipating what was ahead for us. My mind couldn’t stay focused for long.