All for Maddie

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Silver, you got this for a while?”

  “Mmm hmmm,” she replied engrossed in shaping about twenty paperclips into something. She was so weird.

  “Matt, stop, I’m not going anywhere with you.” I tried as I was being dragged out the back door toward the alley and his topless jeep. Was he crazy? It wasn’t warm enough to drive around with no top.

  “Yes, you are. When was the last time you went out and had any fun? Buckle up.”

  “Matt, I need the money. I need to stay here and work,” I protested as he forced me into the passenger seat taking it up on himself to buckle me in.

  “You’re still on the clock. You’re getting paid, and you’re going to get paid for the next three hours for the most exciting day you’ve had in a while.”

  “I have fun,” I lied.

  “I’m sure you do. I would love to build towers out of logos and sing Yo Gabba Gabba songs.”

  I laughed. “You know who Yo Gabba Gabba is?”

  “Yup, I have a four year old son. He loves that stupid show.”

  “You have a kid?” I was shocked, not that I really even knew the guy. I’d just met him, but he still didn’t seem like the fatherly type to me. I’m not sure why. I guess because he was a college kid working in his dad’s coffee shop and was young. Wait, I was young too.

  “Yes, Griffin. He lives with his mom. I get him every other weekend and every Wednesday.”

  “Oh,” I replied. I wasn’t sure how to react to that news.

  He smiled over at me as I crossed my arms from the freezing chill. “He was somewhat of a surprise,” he explained, reaching behind his seat to grab a thick brown coat for me.

  “Maddie was somewhat of a surprise as well,” I offered, covering my arms with the coat.

  “I figured as much.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’re young. How old are you?”

  “I’ll be twenty-two in a little over a month.”

  “And you said Maddie will be four?”

  “Yes, she’ll turn four a month after me to the day. I am May 16th. She is June 16th.”

  “So you were barely eighteen when you had her. I would say she was a surprise.”

  I snickered a little. “Yes, she was a surprise.”

  I talked to Matt for almost forty minutes about the resort, how I was raised, how Alex and I decided that we needed to live together for Maddie, how there was nothing but her between us, and why I was working. He thought it was sweet that I was working for a birthday present for Maddie. He even understood why I refused to use Alex’s money.

  “Matt, where are we going? I don’t even know you.” I finally asked when he took what looked like a dirt path through a rough terrain, explaining the need for the jeep.

  He laughed. “Are you afraid?”

  “A little, you’re taking me to the middle of nowhere. Why?”

  “You see that rock right there?” he asked, bending down and looking up. “We’re going to climb it.”

  I laughed. I thought he was joking. “I’m not climbing that thing.”

  “Oh, yes, you are. It’s amazing. You’ll love it.”

  “Matt, are you serious? I have a child. I can’t die.”

  “I have a child too. You won’t die. What size are your feet?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “What size shoe do you wear?”

  “Seven and a half. Why?”

  “Perfect, my sister’s shoes are in the back. They’re a seven. You want them nice and snug.”

  “I’m not rock climbing with you, Matt.”

  “Okay.”

  Chapter 13

  I rested my foot on Matt’s thigh while he helped me with the pointed toe shoes. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. This wasn’t a stress reliever. It was causing more stress. I was going to fall. How would I explain my two broken legs to Alex or my dad? I was already crazy.

  “Shouldn’t we have ropes or something?” I asked.

  Matt smiled and took the rolls of rope from the back of his jeep. “Stop worrying, we’re going to climb the backside. It’s not as steep.”

  I groaned as I followed him between the massive set of rocks. There were already anchors in place, stuck in tiny crevices leading to the top. The top where I was going to fall to my death.

  I felt embarrassed when Matt helped me into my safety harness. He tightened the straps around my waist, extremely close to my crotch as I looked around, trying to calm my nerves. He didn’t seem to be disturbed about being that close to my sex at all. He busily talked, explaining that he would be right behind me. Great, I couldn’t wait.

  Rock climbing was hard work. You were practically relying on your fingers and toes. Matt made it look easy. I knew I was slowing him down, but I couldn’t help it. He was a lot stronger than I was. It also took longer to get up than I thought it would. By looking up you would have thought it was a five minute climb. It wasn’t. We’d been climbing for at least thirty minutes and still had another thirty feet or so to go. I was tired and my legs were starting to shake from my overworked muscles.

  “Okay, you need to move over to the right. You see that half inch crevice right there?” he pointed.

  I stepped horizontally, trying to maneuver my body sideways up the cliff. Slipping, I screamed as I fell to my death.

  Matt laughed, enclosing my body between his and the massive rocks. “You’re fine, keep going.”

  “I don’t like you very much, and I quit. I’m not working for you anymore. You’re going to get me killed.”

  “You don’t quit. Just wait until we jump out of an airplane.”

  “I assure you, I will not be doing that.”

  He laughed again.

  We finally made it to the top and I fell to my back exhausted.

  “Sit up,” he demanded.

  “Why? I can’t. I’m too tired. How the hell are we getting down from here?”

  “Climbing. Sit up.”

  “Why do I have to sit up?” I said, moving to a sitting position. He didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. We were on top of the world. “Oh my God, Matt,” I exclaimed, looking out. It was almost worth the climb. It was breathtaking.

  “Magnificent, isn’t it?”

  “Maddie would love this.”

  “We’ll take her sometime. I take Griffin right over there,” he pointed to a rock not near as steep as the one we had just climbed. “He loves to get harnessed up and climb that thing.”

  “I’m sure her dad would protest that.”

  “Yeah about that, explain it to me. You guys live together in the same house, but aren’t really a couple? That’s so weird.”

  “Yes, but our families think we are a couple.”

  “Why? What kind of life is that? Do you actually think it’s healthy for Maddie?”

  “No, not at all, I don’t have a say in it.”

  “Yes, you do. You don’t have to live with him. That’s your choice.”

  “Not really, let’s not talk about this. Look how low the clouds are. I feel like I could touch them.”

  “You don’t want to be there?”

  “Matt, I’ve known you for two days,” I reminded him, letting him know that he was being too personal. “You’re my boss, I’m not discussing my life with you.”

  “So you don’t even sleep in the same room?”

  I laughed. He wasn’t letting it go. “Nope.”

  “Do you like, date other people?”

  “No, not really. I mean he goes out and I know where and what he is doing, but I don’t really go out, haven’t been out in a while anyway. I have friends back home, but not really here.”

  “You have me. I’m your friend,” he smiled.

  “You’re not my friend. You gave me a job so that I could buy my daughter a zoo.”

  “Whoa, hang on a second. I think we had a misunderstanding. I’m paying you eight bucks an hour, not eight thousand. You’re buying a zoo?”

  I laughed again. I need
ed to laugh. I liked Matt. He made me feel…I don’t know, happy, I guess. “Yes, I am buying her a zoo. She saw it in a magazine and hasn’t shut up about it. She wants it for her birthday, and I wasn’t about to ask Alex for the money. I want to get it for her on my own.”

  “You’re a good mom,” he smiled.

  Matt and I sat on top of the world talking about my screwed up life. I told him more than I should have, not mentioning how Maddie came into the world or anything like that. I didn’t tell him that I was being forced to live with him or lose my daughter, but I did tell him things that I shouldn’t have. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. The only person I had was Regan, and I still didn’t feel right bringing her into the middle and coming between her and her brother.

  “I need to head back, Matt,” I finally said, knowing Alex was going to be livid, wondering where I was.

  I was right. He was in the front lawn with Maddie waiting for me to get home. He never played with her in the front. I knew he was waiting for me.

  “Where were you? How the hell did you get so dirty?”

  I ignored him as Maddie ran to me. “Come and see what I did at school today,” she exclaimed, dragging me inside.

  “Whitley?” Alex coaxed.

  “I’m busy with my daughter right now,” I said, brushing him off and following Maddie to her room.

  She led me to her little desk and to a long sheet of construction paper.

  “See, its monkeys,” she excitedly explained. She had fuzzy little monkey cutouts glued to the paper with wooden sticks glued and painted black, keeping them in their cages.

  “You didn’t do this,” I teased.

  “Uh-huh, I did it all by myself.”

  “Maddie, it’s wonderful. Do you want to hang it up?”

  “No, Daddy say it’s too heavy. It’ll fall off the wall.”

  “I think thumbtacks would hold it. Do you want to try?”

  “Yes,” she giggled.

  The thumbtacks held it just fine. Her entire wall above her desk was covered in preschool artwork. Most of them consisting of some sort of animal or fish. I loved it.

  “I have a make a snake cage a marrow,” she explained.

  “I have to make a snake cage tomorrow,” Alex corrected from the door. “Say it again.”

  Maddie said it the right way as I scowled at him. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? I liked her baby talk.

  “Why you all dirty?” she asked.

  “Why are you all dirty?” Alex once again corrected.

  “Jesus, Alex, give it a break. Mommy was climbing some rocks with some friends today. I’m going to take a shower and then I’ll start dinner,” I said, moving her hair from her face.

  “Climbing rocks?” Alex asked as I passed him.

  “You can hear?”

  “What do you mean, climbing rocks?” He asked, ignoring my sarcasm.

  “You don’t have custody of me. It is none of your business what I was doing.”

  “Maybe Dr. Pierce should know about this.”

  That pissed me off. I turned on my heels and got right in his face. “I’m sick of your threats, Alex. You do what you have to do. I’m not letting you dictate my life anymore. You got what you wanted. Leave me the fuck alone.”

  “Whitley, what do you want? I don’t know how to make you happy.”

  “I want to take my daughter and go home. Are you going to allow that to happen, Alex? Are you going to let me leave here so I never have to see your face again? I didn’t think so.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to say a lot more. I didn’t. I turned and walked away when Maddie walked out of her room.

  Maddie and I went for a walk right after supper. I knew I should stay away from Matt. I didn’t want him to think I was coming in there to see him. Maddie wanted a chocolate smoothie. I promised her we would go, she wasn’t about to forget it.

  “Hey, little Daisy, how are you? I bet you could use something chocolate. Am I right?” Matt teased. She nodded with a big smile.

  I got a plain coffee and we sat at a booth when Matt got busy. He joined us as soon as he was freed up.

  He was so silly with Maddie. I loved it. She giggled several times at his funny comments. I briefly wished that we had met under different circumstances. I was doomed. Alex would never let another man around his child, not that I even had to worry about that. Who in their right mind would want to date a girl living with her baby daddy? Nobody.

  <><><>

  Matt, Silver, and I became pretty good friends over the next couple of weeks. I was probably spending more time with Matt than I should have been. I knew where it was leading. I couldn’t help myself. I needed a friend, and he was my friend. I laughed with him more than I had laughed since Alex Wesson unexpectedly showed up in my life. I didn’t climb anymore rocks with him, although he tried to get me to. I loved it once I was at the top, but I wasn’t interested in getting there again.

  I hardly spoke to my dad at all. I knew that he was talking to Alex to get the scoop. I was hurt by it. He let Alex come between us. He trusted Alex over me. Of course, my lack of communication was due to my illness. He understood. That was what he told me. He understood. He didn’t understand anything. He was wearing blinders. He believed what the noble Alex Wesson told him. Half the time I didn’t even know what was going on. They didn’t tell me. Like my dad and Dana showing up Easter weekend. I didn’t even know they were coming.

  My dad and Alex took off as soon as they arrived Thursday morning. My dad didn’t golf. I was sure he had never even held a golf club. I stood in shock, sipping my coffee as Alex shook my dad’s hand and they discussed their golf outing.

  “Alex, I have to work. You knew that. Who’s going to keep Maddie?”

  “Connie and I are taking her and Trenton to the aquarium today. Alex said he talked to you about it. Did you forget, sweetie?” Dana asked. What? My stepmother was taking my daughter to the aquarium with Connie.

  I snorted and walked toward the kitchen. “Yeah, I forgot.”

  “I go to see the fish?” I heard Maddie ask.

  I held my finger up waiting for it.

  “Am I going to the aquarium?” Alex corrected. I smiled. Un-fucking-believable.

  I hoped Alex was knocked into his afterlife by a golf ball.

  “Regan wants to talk to you,” Alex said, handing me my phone, leaving my family to join me in the kitchen.

  I hung up on her. “Are you kidding me, Alex? You never told me my dad was coming. You never told me your mom and Dana were taking Maddie anywhere. I wanted to take her to the aquarium.”

  “You can go to the aquarium, Whit.”

  “No, Alex, I can’t. I am scheduled to work. I can’t just go to the aquarium.”

  “You don’t even need that job.”

  “I do need that job, and I need to get away from you before I go insane for real. You could have at least had the decency to tell me they were coming.”

  “They’re taking Maddie home with them too. They’re going to bring her back Sunday for Easter dinner.”

  “See, I would have liked to have known that too. I could have gotten the time off and gone home with her.”

  “I wouldn’t let you. I’d be afraid you would take off and do something stupid with her again.”

  “Get out of my face, Alex. Go play golf with my dad and leave me alone.” That was it. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take it for one more second. There had to be something I could do.

  I squatted to Maddie and hugged her. “I love you so much. You have fun with Trenton and I’ll see you when you get home from Papaw’s.”

  I walked out the door and down the sidewalk without one word to my dad, Dana, or Alex. What the hell, I was crazy after all. I’m sure they were all talking about how crazy I was as I walked toward town. Happy that at least I had that.

  “You okay?” Matt asked as I entered and walked straight past him without a word.

  “Whit?” he questioned as I punched my timecard.

&nbs
p; “Don’t ask me if I’m okay. If one more person asks me if I am okay, I am going to scream.”

  Matt placed both hands in the air, letting me know that he was backing off. I shook my head in frustration as he left me alone. I didn’t mean to snap at him. He was the only one who seemed genuinely concerned about me.

  “Sorry, I was in the middle of ripping your brother a new ass,” I told Regan, answering her call. I wasn’t mad at her either.

  “Yeah, I just talked to my mom. They said you were a little distraught this morning. You okay?”

  That’s it; I am going to scream. “I’m fine Regan, I’ve got to go. I’m at work. Did you need something?” I asked a little colder than I meant to.

  “Don’t go getting your panties in an uproar with me. I was just calling to see if you wanted to go to Blue Moon tonight. Rowdy and the boys are playing.”

  “Sorry, and yes I would love to. It seems as though my daughter is going home with my dad.”

  “And you don’t want her to?”

  “I don’t care. I would have at least liked to have known about it before they just showed up here, unbeknownst to me.”

  “You didn’t know they were coming?”

  “No, they don’t really talk to me. They do all of their consulting with Alex. I’ve got to go Regan. What time you picking me up?”

  “Not until like eight. Is that okay?”

  “Yes, I’ll see ya later.”

  We really didn’t need two people in the shop. We had only seen one person in two hours. I pretty much kept to myself, cleaning up around the place.

  “You can take off if you want,” Matt offered.

  “Nah, you can take off. I don’t really have anywhere to go. What the hell is that noise?” I finally asked, looking up. It sounded like the apartment upstairs was falling down. I’d noticed it several times already.

  “Wayne, he’s moving out this weekend.”

  “Moving out?”

  “Yeah, he’s getting ready to graduate. He’s heading back toward Wyoming, I guess.”

  “Is the apartment for rent?”

  “It will be. My dad wants to paint it first. Wayne’s lived there for almost four years now.”

  “How much would the rent be?”