Chasing the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  She tilts her head, narrowing her eyes at me. “Why do you think I wouldn’t be able to ‘help’ myself?”

  I’m thankful to be playful with my girl again. “It’s always rough for you to keep your hands off of me. I’m like one of those magic genie lamps in the sand. You see me and you can’t keep from rubbing your hands all over me to bring me to life.”

  She giggles. “You are one unbelievably smug son of a bitch.”

  I laugh enthusiastically, feeling relieved. Then, the thought of losing her enters my mind again. I’m so stupid. “Sometimes.” Not when I almost lost my reason for living.

  She stares at me; a puzzled look crosses her beautiful face. “Not always?”

  “No. Sometimes I fuck up and almost lose the best thing that’s ever blessed my life.” I came so close to losing her. I don’t ever want to go through that again.

  “Never.” She runs her soft fingers through the start of my beard. “This is the longest you’ve kept your stubble,” she discerns.

  I reach up to the other side of my face and rub my fingers over it. “Yeah. I need to shave.” Cara mentioned that, too. I slept in my contacts, making my eyes too blurry this morning to shave.

  She instantly shakes her head at me. “No you don’t. It’s perfect. I love it.”

  “You do?” Really? How much does she like it? What would she do for me to keep it?

  She self-righteously grins at me and uses my response, “Hell, yeah.”

  I clear my throat while glancing over Becks’ head to Rod, who is still watching us. I drop my gaze to hers. “I need to fix this. I’ll try to make up for last night this weekend. For now, can I take you to lunch?”

  “No.” No? She won’t even go to lunch with me? I won’t see her until Friday. She puts her hand on my neck and tugs, so I lean closer to her. She whispers in my ear, “You can take me, though.”

  Oh, fuck yes, Becks. I whisper in return, “Let’s go to your apartment. I need you, baby.”

  She shoots a look to Rod, who is still observing us like we’re untamed animals in an exhibit. She says, “Give me a minute.” Becks walks over to Rod and talks to him. I need to apologize to Rod and now is probably the best time to do it.

  I go over to them, standing up against Becks. The scent of her hair wraps around me and I have to focus to speak. “Greg, I wanted to apologize for last night. I was way out of line and an absolute asshole.”

  He leaves his arms folded over his chest and replies, “You were, but I’m more concerned with how you treat Hadley. You don’t have to worry about her cheating on you with me. It’s not going to happen. She’s like my sister, so that would be downright disgusting.” I didn’t even know that’s how he felt about Becks. A sister. He could be bullshitting me, but still, that makes me feel relatively better.

  I reply, “I realize that now. I know you’re her friend. I had no right to act the way I did to you or to her. I’m sorry.” I offer my hand to him, hoping he takes it so we can get past this. He’s been a good friend to Becks, and I need to accept that. A small part of me most likely will be suspicious of him, though. Hopefully not.

  “Apology accepted, Wilder. My girl, Hadley, loves you. Take care of her.”

  I nod. “I will. I promise.”

  Rod relaxes against the bench and swings his hand into the air, dismissing us. “Okay. Now, go fuck your brains out, you crazy kids.” He doesn’t have to say that twice.

  “Rod,” Becks objects. What? She doesn’t want me now?

  I smile. I don’t care. I’m going to change her mind about wanting me. “You heard him, baby. Let’s go.” I put my arm around her shoulders, utterly happy to have my Becks next to me and anticipating the time we’re going to spend making up in her bed.

  She lays her head against my arm as we quickly walk to my car. I kiss the top of her head, inhaling her scent.

  How do we keep going like this? I’m in love with this woman, but does she love me as much as I love her? How can we each get what we want, without both getting what we want?

  CHAPTER 19

  Finn eagerly opens the passenger side door of his Mustang for me. Before I get in, I look up at him and see his sun-kissed blonde and brown marbled hair dancing in the light breeze. I smile at him and he flashes a brilliant grin back at me. Despite his smile, he does look tired. I sit down and he swiftly closes my door. He strides around the front to his side and smoothly climbs in. When he shuts the door, he looks over to me, his hair now a honey brown, to say something, but I lean over and grab his suit lapel, yanking him to me. I shove my other hand into his mystifying hair and kiss him mercilessly. His hands fly up to my face as he returns my kisses just as heatedly.

  Stealing his lips from mine, he utters, “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

  I kiss him before replying, “I’m sorry, too, Finn. I love you.”

  “I love you more, Becks.” He kisses me, a hand dropping from my face down to my hip.

  I move and kiss his jaw. “Drive your stick so I can drive your stick.”

  He squeezes my hip and whispers, “Oh, baby, you got it.” He hurriedly verges away from me, lifts his ass from his seat to dig his key out of his pocket, and starts his car. He speedily pulls out of the lot and onto the road. I instantly tug on my seatbelt and he curiously glances over at me to see what I’m doing. When he again looks ahead, I grip his jaw and kiss down his sideburn. “That was so fucking hot what you did back there,” I confess, thieving the words he said to me on the dance floor. I can hear him swallow and feel his jaw muscles constricting against my chin and under my fingers.

  “What did I do?” he asks as his breathing picks up.

  “You apologized to him. That was so fucking hot, baby.”

  Without looking my way, he asks, “It was? How hot was it, Becks?”

  I lick his jaw, my tongue trailing through his deliciously rough bristles, up to his ear. “I want you to fuck me hard, Finn Wilder.”

  His lips noticeably part and he moves his head to check for traffic, my lips not leaving his skin. He shifts gears and speeds up, merging onto I-64. He lets go of the gear shift and puts his hand on my leg, squeezing gently through my skirt. I reach down and run my fingers along his thigh, reminding me of last night, but now my fingers drift between his legs, feeling how much he wants me.

  He sucks air sharply through his teeth. “Becks,” he utters, sounding somewhat astonished that I did that. I clutch him vigorously through the material, feeling him harden more from my touch. “Fuck,” he imparts, breaking into a moan. His hand drifts down to my knee and he tries to pull my skirt up, but can’t since it’s longer than the one I had on last night. He licks his bottom lip. “You’re driving me crazy, baby.”

  Still hovering next to his ear, I whisper, “Good.” He deeply inhales and I drag my tongue down through his prickly stubble as my fingers play with his zipper.

  Breathless, he asks, “Becks, what are you doing to me?” Really?

  I smile against his jaw. “I’m taking a walk on the wild side, Mr. Wilder.”

  He swallows loudly, “I’m not going to make it home and inside you if you keep doing this.”

  “You have staying power,” I tease. I unbutton his black pants and slip my fingers into his open fly, stroking him through his underwear.

  “Oh, fuck.” His head fleetingly falls backward before he quickly looks back to the road. He shifts in his seat. “Becks, I have to drive. Come on, baby.”

  “I want to feel you, Finn.”

  “We don’t have a lot of time to wait for your birth control.”

  Remembering the hurt, I shift back and mutter, “Last night you didn’t care.”

  He inhales and nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have said that to you. Sometimes I get carried away and just don’t care about the risk.”

  “I don’t either.”

  He looks at me and stares for as long as he can. “I know you don’t, Becks.”

  What is that supposed to mean? Does he thin
k I’d deliberately try to get pregnant on purpose? I would never do that. I wouldn’t want it to happen that way. I’d want him to be a willing participant.

  He pulls into my apartment building’s parking lot and mumbles, “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  “Okay. Don’t be too long.”

  He leans his head back against the headrest. “I’ll try not to, baby.” I shut the door and pace over to the building’s front door, through the small lobby and to the newly-fixed elevator, tapping my foot as it creeps slowly up to the third floor. Once I make it up to my apartment, I kick my shoes off and head to the bathroom.

  When I walk out, I run right into Finn. He readily bends and impatiently kisses me. I put my arms around his neck and he picks me up. He starts walking us down the hallway, but then stops and sets me up against the wall. Our lips are on fire, and our kiss burns as if they actually are. My hands shoot up into his hair and I hold him close to me as we lose ourselves in our kiss. With me gripping his waist with my thighs, he moves a hand to my leg and pushes up my skirt, his thumb brushing along the edge of my underwear. His fingers graze against my skin, sending sharp tingles up my spine. Impatiently prying the material away, he strokes my hot skin. He groans and lifts me from the wall, walking us back to my beige bedroom until he hits the side of my bed. His tongue glides in and out of my mouth as I suck on it.

  While still holding me, he lowers me against his hips and presses his erection between my legs. I break our kiss to gasp. He smiles and kisses me again, leaning to put me down on the bed. He stands and shrugs out of his suit coat and I sit up to work on his buckle and zipper. He steps over to toss it over my desk chair and I pull out my ponytail, tossing the band onto the floor. He moves closer to me and I pull his waistband down.

  Once his pants are off, I enfold my arms around his waist and tug him so he’ll climb on the bed with me on top of my cream-colored bedspread. Our lips eagerly reunite and he reaches behind me to unzip my skirt, while I start unbuttoning his shirt from the bottom. He breaks our kiss to take his shirt off and I flick my eyes up to his. Watching me intently, his sexy brown eyes are dilated and his full lips are gaping. All of his earlier smugness is long gone. I have my Finn back. The one I only get to see, not the wild and cocky, ready-for-TV version of Finn Wilder, but my sweet and modest, reserved Finnigan Wilder: the greatest love of my life.

  I precipitately push on his chest and he lies down on the bed. I kiss him, my tongue possessing his mouth, and I feel his responding smile against my lips. I stray and suck on his bottom lip. His hot breath is quick over my face. When I finally release his lip, it’s red and slightly swollen. I smile as he stares at me with an odd expression on his face. I think it’s desire, but there seems to be something more to it. What is Finn Wilder thinking? Do I turn him on, or would just any woman do?

  Suddenly, he pushes himself up and he pulls at my skirt. I raise my hips as he takes it down over my legs. He tosses it onto the floor with his pants, and when he turns back to me; his eyes are dark and wanting. He drags his hand slowly up my leg, his fingers swiftly setting my world on fire.

  My eyes drift down to his neck and I angle my head to kiss him there. Sighing, his hand on my leg moves up to my underwear, but his fingers don’t stop there. They slide up to the bottom of my blouse and he pushes it up until it’s over my bra. He lifts up both sides of my shirt, taking it off of me. His eyes drop to my chest and he licks his bottom lip. His chocolate brown eyes return to mine before drifting down to my lips. He kisses me and with one hand, he unhooks my bra. When he moves, he takes my bra with him. He again looks down to my chest, his eyes raking over my breasts and then down to my legs. The look in his eyes is seriously sexy, like he’s ravaging me with his gaze.

  Needing to taste his skin, I incline closer to him so I can kiss his chest, feeling his pounding heart singing beneath my lips. Trailing my fingers over his skin, he inhales and picks up my key charm over my naked chest.

  “Your heart is racing, Finn.”

  He toys with my key. “It only beats for you, Becks.” I smile against him. Impulsively, I push him down onto his back, taking him by surprise, I think. I lick his skin over to his nipple, where I lightly bite him. He gasps and clutches my breast, his thumb slowly circling my nipple.

  “Baby,” he says. I put my hand on his face and stroke his jaw as I kiss him over his heart. I trace his smiling lips with my finger and draw them down to his throat, his chest, then down to his hard stomach. I feel his abdominal muscles violently tightening and his breathing dramatically increase as I move closer to his waistband. He moans in anticipation as I tuck my fingers into it and pull them down, taking them off. I drag my nails up his leg and he loudly groans. I pause when I get to the top of his leg before I slowly slide my fingers over to his erection, roaming around him, and making Finn pant as I move my hand up and down.

  “Fuck!” he ardently gasps. I stroke him steadily and he angles his head back. His body stiffens all over and his hands ball into fists.

  “Becks, I love when you touch me. I want more of it. I crave your touch, baby. I need you,” he frantically pleads.

  I squeeze him firmly and increase my moves. “I’m right here, baby. I love touching you, too. You have me.” I feel him hardening more under my fingers and I watch me bringing him to life. I smile thinking about his supercilious genie comment earlier. He’s right. Once my hands are on him, I don’t want them to be anywhere else. I do love bringing Finn Wilder to life. Hopefully, I’m the only one that does it for him.

  “Becks, slow down,” he begs.

  I glance up at his face. “Why? You don’t like when I ‘bring you to life?’”

  Between his heavy breathing, he moans, “You’re going to make me come.”

  I dubiously smirk. “Isn’t that the point?”

  He shakes his head. “Not yet.”

  “What do you want, Finn?”

  “You, baby. I want to make love to you.”

  I increase my strokes a little more and he again dissents, “Becks, no. I want to be inside you.”

  I smile and whisper, “What’s stopping you, Finnigan?” His eyes fly open and he promptly sits up, sends a hand into my hair and kisses me hard. I continue to pump him and he encloses his other hand around mine, steeply slowing me down as he reigns in his harsh breathing between our kisses. His fingers then glide over my hand and he reaches over to my shoulder and pushes me down onto the bed, our lips frenziedly moving together.

  Taking my left breast in his hand, he heatedly massages his fingers around it. I whimper and he pilfers his lips from mine to run his tongue in circles over my nipple, before he takes in as much of the mound into his mouth that he can.

  Moving to my other breast, he sucks on my skin, his tongue darting over that nipple. He then takes it between his teeth and tugs. I yell and like ivy, my hands climb into his sexy hair, my fingers digging in and taking root. My body is throbbing to be engulfed in him.

  I beg, “Finnigan, I want you.”

  With his fingers, he roughly pushes the crotch of my underwear over, pushing a finger inside and rubbing me.

  He lifts his mouth off of me to say, “Becks, you’re so fucking wet.”

  “All for you, baby.” I tug on his hair and listen to him pant harder.

  He licks my nipple before asking, “How much do you want me?”

  “I’m aching for you. I miss you.”

  “I’ve missed you too, baby. You’re all I ever think about.” I am?

  I whisper, “Do you want me?” I hope so.

  “Every second.” He kisses me and then kneels up so he can pull my underwear down. Once he has them off, he throws them over his shoulder and gazes at me with a fixated stare, making me suddenly feel self-conscious. I anxiously squeeze my legs together in a frail attempt to hide myself.

  He blinks and his eyes skim up to my face. “Becks, what are you doing?”

  I look up to the ceiling. “Nothing.”

  Finn slips his hand up from my ankle
to the top of my thigh, his eyes following the path of his hand. “Don’t hide from me. You’re gorgeous.”

  I scoff and move my hand down to my stomach, but he pushes it away. “Becks, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Your body is perfect. I want your perfect body wrapped in mine. I want that connection with you.” His hand slides back down and he gently pulls my thighs apart. His eyes float all over my very vulnerable body as he keeps pressure on my legs so I can’t close them again.

  “What?” I ask shyly.

  Finn swallows, his Adam’s apple strongly dipping and rising. His intense gaze locks onto my worried one. He says, “You’re stunning.” He grabs my hand and places it over his demanding arousal. “Feel how much you turn me on. This doesn’t happen for just any woman. Only for you, Becks.” I fondle him and his eyes close as he groans.

  Capriciously, he covers my body with his, kissing me. Abruptly, he pushes up, reaching over to my nightstand. I tug at his arm and he looks down to me.

  “I got it already.”

  He grins. “You did?” I nod and lift my head up from my pillow to kiss his lips. When he stops, his eyes piercingly sparkle as he hovers above me. “Baby, let’s make up.”

  I look at him questionably. “I thought we did?”

  “Huh-uh,” he mumbles against my lips as his kiss coerces my head back down to my pillow, taking him with me. Brusquely, he robs me of his lips and his shining eyes flicker over my face. There’s an inner turmoil ostensibly raging in his stare. He looks so serious. He slides his hands to mine and interlaces our fingers together.

  “You mean the world to me, Becks. I’m so deeply and eternally in love with you. My heart is yours and beats just for you. I hurt you so much last night and I’m sorry. I pray that you can forgive me.” He nervously glances down to my lips as he licks his own. His eyes return to mine. “You’re my soulmate. Without you, I’m nothing. I don’t exist. With you, I’m complete. I only want you. Forever, baby. I’ll shout it from countertops, rooftops, treetops, mountaintops, from the top of the world; wherever you want and how ever often you want me to. We are a couple and I want everyone to know it. I’m sorry if you thought I was ashamed of you or that I wanted women to think I was single. That wasn’t why I kept you to myself. You’re my most prized possession. I just wanted to keep you as only mine and to protect you. I took it too far and I’m so sorry. I’ll never do that again. You deserve to be shown off by my side as my partner. You’re the only woman I’ll ever want. I’m committed to you, Becks, for the rest of my life.”