Lives Collide (Collide #1)

by Kristina Beck

  “Well, that’s original. I’m not sure if it’s a compliment or a joke.” I shove him with my hand. He pretends to fall backward.

  “It’s a compliment. You have beautiful electric-blue eyes with a tinge of purple in them. Quite unique, actually.”

  A smile peeks out. “Thanks. I never heard someone describe them like that.” I massage the back of my neck.

  He looks at the path and then at me. “Seriously now. Are you feeling better?”

  I massage the back of my leg. “Not really. My hamstring is screaming right now. I don’t think I should run anymore. Maybe it’s a sign I’m getting too old. Friday is my twenty-eighth birthday. Next time, I’ll run with a cane, like the elderly.” I laugh at myself.

  “Happy early birthday. Have anything special planned? Hopefully you don’t have to work.”

  “No, I don’t, which is a nice surprise. My friend Emily wants me to celebrate with our friends that night. My sister, Tina, might come. We’re going to a bar called Cloud Nine. It’s a martini bar that has a menu with near fifty different types of martinis. It’s a great place. Emily says I need to let go and have some fun. I was excited when she first asked, but now I’m not sure.”

  He crinkles his eyes. “Why not?”

  I groan. “She tries to fix me up with different guys all the time. I have a feeling she’ll try again that night. She knows I’m not interested in dating right now. The night I was at the bar with you…I went there because I was sad about my relationship with Bryant and life in general.”

  I stop speaking for a moment because he dropped his head as soon as I mentioned the bar. I continue anyway. “Strangely, that was where our first date was too, and on the day of my orientation at Clarion. I find everything so ironic. It’s been a long time since Bryant and I have been together. I really missed him at first, and I was a bit lonely the night you and I met.”

  I take a drink of water from my bottle. “When you spoke about Jessica, you gave me a whole new perspective of what love could feel like. I’ve never had a man talk or feel about me the way you do about her. It really made me think about my relationship with him differently.” I hope I’m not pushing this subject too far. But if I never see him again, I will never be able to say this to him.

  “The way he broke up with me was as if I wasn’t enough for him. I hate that I wasted years of my life on him. But after meeting you, I feel better somehow. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m better off without him. I’m really glad I saw you today, because it’s my turn to thank you. You really helped me that night.”

  His facial expression changes into one I can’t read. Did I say something wrong? Oh! If I think about what I just said, it means his state of misery helped me feel better.

  “I’m sorry, James. That didn’t come out right. I don’t want you to think your grief helped me. I just wanted you to know that your love for Jessica was an eye-opener.”

  He remains quiet and stares at the ground. Awkward. I take a step back. “So. Okay. Well, I guess I’ll head on home. It was nice to run into you. No pun intended,” I joke. “If you still have my phone number, give me a call. Maybe we can meet up for a run again. I promise I’ll stretch an hour beforehand.” Still no reaction. I guess I’m not all that funny.

  I turn away, but he mumbles something. “I’ll go with you if you want.”

  “To my apartment? Now?”

  “No, to Cloud Nine.”

  “Really? You want to go?” That came out of left field. A tick of excitement runs through me. I twirl my ponytail.

  “It’s just a couple of blocks away from where I live. It’s right next to City Theater. A lot of people who attend a show go to Cloud Nine for a drink first. Neither one of us want to be involved with anyone. Your friend will hopefully back off because I’ll be there with you. Not that I’ll be there as your date. But you know what I mean. Right?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Sure…I guess.” Why do I feel a tad disappointed he won’t be there as my date?

  “I promise I won’t get drunk this time. It’ll give me a chance to say thank you again for saving me the other night. My sister and parents will be thrilled I actually want to go out for once.”

  “It would be great if you stopped by. Besides, I like hanging out with you, so it’s easy for me to say yes. I’ll make sure you have a good time without the need to drink.” I can’t stop grinning.

  He puts his baseball hat on backward. He needs to stop making himself look so damn yummilicious!

  “Great, well, how would you like to do this? Do you want me to meet you there?” He tosses his water bottle from one hand to the other.

  “I already agreed with Emily we should all meet there at eight p.m. You can meet me there any time after that. If you change your mind, I’ll only be a little offended. At least come to wish me a happy birthday. Even if you only stay for five minutes.”

  “It sounds like a plan. Can I bring my sister, Alexa?”

  “Yeah. Sure. You can bring your sister, your friends. Whomever you want. The more, the merrier!”

  I bend over to stretch again. “I need to leave now. It’ll take me a little while to walk back home with this leg of mine.”

  “Wait. Let me go get my car. I can drive you home if your leg is really bad. I told you already—I’m only a five-minute run from here. Do you mind waiting? Do you have time?”

  “Thank you for the offer, but you don’t need to.” Because I hate being in cars. But I really want to go with him anyway.

  “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”

  “You win… Um, are you going to be all right driving me back to my apartment? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” I cringe as I wait for his response.

  “I’ll be fine. I need to deal with these things. If I wanted to avoid everything that reminded me of Jessica, I shouldn’t live in this city.” He takes my hand and puts it through his arm. “Here, let me help keep some weight off your leg.”

  Goose bumps prickle on my skin like bubbles in champagne, and I shiver.

  “Are you cold? Should I bring you a sweatshirt even though it’s eighty degrees out?” He laughs.

  “I just got a chill from the light wind. No sweatshirt needed. I’ll survive.”

  We walk—well, I limp—toward a bench about a hundred yards away, near the street. “Are you always such a gentleman with girls you hardly know?” I shouldn’t say things like this. He doesn’t want to be with anyone. It’s also clear he hasn’t been with another woman since Jessica.

  He frowns. “No, I’m not. Alexa says I’ve become a real asshole. Gentleman is the last word she’d use to describe me. I told you it’s been a long time since I’ve been around another woman. You seemed to have changed that.”

  “Why?”

  He cocks his head to the side with a slight smirk. “I have absolutely no idea.”

  “I usually analyze everything by nature. Maybe this time we shouldn’t. Let’s just go with the flow and enjoy each other’s company. No pressure. No romance. No expectations. No analyzing. Nothing.”

  He gives me a thumbs-up. “Sounds good to me.” He motions to the bench. “Sit here while I run to get my car. It should only take about ten minutes, depending on how fast I run.”

  I sit down and rest my sore leg on the bench. I wave my hand. “No problem. You don’t need to hurry. I have time. I can enjoy the warm sun.”

  “Good. I’ll be back soon.” He salutes me and runs off.

  Even his backside looks good.

  This screams trouble.

  I raise my face to the warm, morning sun. Cars zip by in the distance, but the noise doesn’t distract me. I could get used to this. What does distract me is something wet tickling my ankle. I shake my leg, thinking it’s a bug. There it is again. I crack one eye open and see two wet noses from blond Labrador puppies sniffing my ankle. I’m in complete heaven. Carefully, I stand up so I won’t scare them. I scan the park, looking for their owner. No one is in sight. How can someone let two pup
pies run around by themselves? They could wander into the street.

  They follow me as I sit on the grass. “Come here, cuties.” One puppy paws at me. I reach out and scratch behind his ears. His tail wags as fast as hummingbird wings. “Aren’t you the happiest puppy?” I guess the other one is jealous because he jumps on me, which makes me fall backward. They climb all over me, smelling and licking my face profusely. Their fur is soft like pussy willows. I learned in medical school that playing with baby animals lifts your spirits. As a psychiatrist, I completely agree. Forget being a doctor. I want to play with puppies all day.

  “Having fun?”

  James’s voice distracts me.

  “Is this what happens when I leave you alone for ten minutes?”

  “This is the best. Come and play with us.” I encourage him.

  He kneels next to me. One licks his hand. He laughs as he picks up the puppy. It proceeds to lick his cheek.

  “There you are,” says a woman, marching toward us. “You both run too fast for Mama.” A woman in her fifties joins us, a smile on her face. “Sorry about that. I should have them on their leashes. I hope they didn’t bother you.”

  I stand up and wipe the dirt off my shorts. “Not at all. They made my day. They’re beautiful.”

  “They definitely keep me on my toes. Thanks for taking care of them. Have a nice day, both of you.” She puts leashes on them and walks away. I hear a puppy bark in the distance. I giggle and spin toward James.

  I press my fingers on my arms, noticing how sticky they feel. “That was awesome. I think I will be smiling for the rest of the day. I have a lot of puppy slobber on me, but it was totally worth it. I’m sticky and stinky.” I crinkle my nose when I smell myself.

  My eyes wander back to James, and he smirks.

  “Do I want to know why you are smiling like that?” I chuckle.

  “It was fun to watch you play with them. You were in your own little happy puppy bubble. They loved you. You must taste good with the number of licks you received.” His laser-green eyes burn through me.

  “I don’t know about that,” I respond, not knowing how to take the comment. “One big salt stick, maybe from sweating so much. I definitely need a shower when I get home.”

  He turns in the direction of his car. “Shall we go, petite one?” He peeks over his shoulder and flashes his dimple.

  I limp toward him. “Hey. So you do remember some things from the other night. No short jokes today,” I command with sweetness.

  He turns around and runs up to me. “I’m sorry, little one. I should be helping you. Not a gentleman anymore, am I?” He puts his arm around my waist again.

  So much for not visualizing him touching other parts of my body. I need to get home fast and take a cold shower.

  “I’m only playing with you about being short. You shouldn’t worry about your height. You are a cute little package.”

  I’m too busy replaying how his hands feel on me when I realize we are walking to an old silver Honda Civic. I freeze in my tracks.

  He stops in response. “What’s the matter?” he asks.

  “I hate riding in cars. I wanted you to drive me home since I’m having trouble walking. Now that I see your car, it makes me think differently.” Just get in the damn car! “Please don’t drive fast. I’m known to panic.”

  He unlocks his car. “Why?”

  “I was in a car accident once, and it scarred me for life, mentally and physically.”

  He nods but doesn’t press me for more details.

  He opens the passenger side. I slide in and buckle my seat belt with shaking hands. He starts the car and pulls out slowly at first but then presses the gas.

  My blood pressure escalates as my heart starts pounding. “What the hell are you doing?” I screech as I put a death grip on his arm.

  He starts laughing but stops as soon as he sees my panic-stricken face.

  “I was serious about being afraid in cars.”

  He slows to the normal speed limit. “I’m really sorry. I thought you were joking.” He peels my hand off his arm and squeezes it. I pull it away even though I like it there, and stare out the window.

  “It’s fine.” I rub my hands on my thighs. I look at his arm and see I’ve left nail marks.

  “Sorry about your arm.”

  “I think I’ll survive. Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shake my head. “Nope.”

  “Ooookay. That was a big fat none of your business if I ever heard one.” He bursts out laughing, of all things.

  I belly laugh for no reason as well.

  “We are mental cases. A match made in heaven.”

  “Hey, we agreed. No pressure or romance, petite one.”

  We joke around and laugh until we arrive at my apartment. I like his laugh. I like a lot of things about him.

  He parks in front of the complex. I need to make this quick so he doesn’t freak out. Before I take hold of the door handle, he’s already opening it for me.

  “I can take it from here. No worries. I know you don’t like being here.”

  “It’s not a problem. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think I could handle it. To be honest, I have no idea why I’m able to.”

  My arm is hooked around his as we walk to my apartment. I let go to search for my keys in the jogging sack around my waist. I unlock the door. “Thanks a lot for driving me home. It was great seeing you again. It made my day. Well, the puppies did too.” I chuckle. “I look forward to seeing you on Friday if you can make it. See you soon.” I’m talking too much.

  I enter my apartment and turn around to close the door. James is frozen in place, looking at me with his eyebrows squeezed together.

  I walk back to him and push my finger between his eyebrows. “James, what are you thinking about? I’m the one who thinks too much. Are you like that too?”

  “I haven’t smiled or laughed during the past year until I met you two weeks ago. It feels both good and bad. I want good to win. Thank you for lifting my spirits. I’m glad we saw each other today.”

  My heart does somersaults. “You’re welcome. Don’t feel bad about being happy or showing signs of it. There’s nothing wrong with being social.” I place my hands on his cheeks. Should I be touching him like this? “I don’t know what happened to you or what you have experienced that brings you so much pain and sadness. I can only say, you are allowed to have fun, no matter what’s happened in your past.” Maybe I should follow my own advice. “If you want to get out of your apartment and smile a little more, come to the bar on Friday. Take baby steps. I think we both deserve some fun. I’m sure my friends will entertain you.” I pull my hands away from his conflicted face.

  He nods. “Put some heat on your hamstring. It will help loosen it up.” He waves good-bye and turns on his heels.

  I’m such a hypocrite. I don’t even follow my own advice. It’s time to change that. Maybe James and I can do it together. This is going to be an interesting birthday.

  Chapter 18

  James

  I glance down the long hallway toward Jessica’s old apartment. I encourage myself to walk to it. Once there, I stand to the side with my hands in my pockets. I close my eyes and block out my surroundings. Memories of this apartment resurface. Our first kiss…our first Thanksgiving, when she burnt the turkey. I can still remember the pungent odor that lingered there for weeks. My heart squeezes tight when I replay our engagement, but the nightmare that came after brings its own pain.

  Should I feel guilty to be here with someone else? It isn’t like we’re dating. But I don’t feel guilty, and that makes me feel guilty. No matter what, I feel guilty. Something is going on with me, and I don’t know what. Maybe I’m finally waking up; it feels as if I were in a deep sleep for a year.

  When I met Lisa at the bar, it changed me for the better. She saved me. I never thought it would be possible to meet another woman who could make me feel alive.

  I rub my hands up and down my face and take a dee
p breath. I turn around, and with a heavy chest, I leisurely stroll to the car.

  I pull out of the parking spot, exhausted from thinking too much. I’m surprised I agreed to meet Lisa on Friday night. I have only seen her twice. It’s just a favor, right? There are no memories of Jessica at Cloud Nine. That makes it safe.

  Lisa helps me forget. Is that wrong? It’s strange I saw her at the park. I was running behind her—well, a young woman I didn’t know was her—and checking her out in ways that made my hormones come out of hiding. I noticed her thin waist, perfect backside, and toned legs. It has been a long time since I’ve been aroused by another woman. My hormones are tired of my dry spell. When I saw the woman almost fall, never in a million years would I have thought it was Lisa. We never met one another with our parallel lives, but now we’ve met twice within two weeks.

  When I squeezed her hand to help her stand up, I played it off like I didn’t feel anything, but I did. It felt like a bolt of lightning zapped my arm, sending heat through my neck toward my face. My face flushed, but it wasn’t from exertion.

  Running with Lisa seemed natural. It distracted me from my constant depressing thoughts. She didn’t ask what happened to Jessica. When or if the time is right, I’ll tell her. She didn’t want me to talk about her car accident either.

  I drive on autopilot through the streets.

  When I saw Lisa playing with those puppies, the armor around my heart cracked. The happiness that beamed off her opened my eyes. For a split second, I remembered what complete bliss felt like. The surge of heightened pleasure and happiness that connected Jessica and me. Will I ever experience something like that again?

  I park my car and walk into my apartment building. Should I tell Alexa? Well, I need to because I’m going to ask if she wants to go to Cloud Nine with me. I open the door and see she’s on the phone. She says good-bye and then looks up.

  “Hi, James,” she says as she hops off the couch. “How was your run this morning?”