Lives Collide (Collide #1)

by Kristina Beck

  How was my run? “Entertaining.”

  She snorts. “How can running every day be entertaining? Don’t you get bored?”

  “I ran into that girl, Lisa.”

  “Get out!” She slaps my arm. “And? What happened? Was she happy to see you?”

  I divulge the encounter in detail. “Out of the blue, I offered to meet her at Cloud Nine if she wanted. She complained her friends always try to introduce her to different guys. She doesn’t want to date anyone right now. I don’t either. I thought maybe it would help if I’m there with her. Her friends won’t bother her, and other women won’t bother me.”

  “You actually agreed to go out with a girl? This is huge!” She smacks her hands together while jumping up and down.

  I roll my eyes. “We’re only friends, Alexa. There’s nothing else to it. I’ve only seen her two times. I hardly know her.”

  “You hardly know her, yet you slept at her apartment and now agreed to meet her on her birthday. I just think it’s great you are getting out there and socializing. You’re acting more like a human and less like an ass.”

  “Do you want to come with me?”

  “Hell yeah! I love Cloud Nine. Maybe I’ll attract some fresh meat.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

  “Be careful, Alexa. Of course, any guy would be better than the dick you dated a couple of months ago. He was more of a dick than I was then.”

  She tilts her head to the side. “Now that’s the brother I’ve missed. Please keep talking to her. She brings out the old you.” She squeezes my cheek and prances to the bathroom.

  Do I even want to be the old me again? I was too regimented and inflexible. I was so driven by becoming a doctor. I didn’t focus on anything else. Well, until Jessica came along. I allowed my focus to include her. Creature of routine and never willing to change.

  “Shouldn’t you be at work?” I yell to her.

  She yells back. “You know my job. I get to make my own schedule. I only need to check in with my boss and sales team a couple times a month. I don’t have any appointments today.”

  She walks back out, spraying perfume on her neck and wrists.

  “I’m so excited for Friday. I can’t wait to meet Lisa.” She puts her arm through mine. I cough on her perfume cloud. “Let’s go get something to eat. How about our favorite pizza place? Maybe we can even go shopping for some new clothes for you. All your stuff is so old and nerdy. You need a major makeover. You need to show off your muscles.”

  My stomach growls when I hear pizza. “I’m starving, so why not? Don’t push it with shopping though.”

  She sniffs me and waves her hand. “Eek. Go take a shower. You stink!”

  “Do I really?” I panic. My arm was around Lisa when she was limping. I lift my arm up to smell myself. I give Alexa a dirty look. “I’m going to get you for that one.”

  “Just kidding. I thought you didn’t care and Lisa’s just a friend.” She elbows me.

  I punch her lightly on the arm. “Enough. I can’t win with you. Think what you want. I do need to shower first. I’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” I walk away, shaking my head. What have I gotten myself into?

  Chapter 19

  Lisa

  I stare into the closet, wondering what to wear for my birthday gathering tonight. My closet lacks pretty clothes. I search through it, pushing my options to the opposite side, listening to the wire hangers scratch against the metal bar. I choose three possible outfits and display them on the bed. One is a pair of light-blue skinny jeans and a frilly, sleeveless black top. The second is a flowing white skirt and red short-sleeve V-neck shirt. The third is a basic black halter dress. I guess I do have some nice clothes. I forgot I bought them, since my wardrobe lately consists of ugly green scrubs. It shows I don’t go out often.

  This is hard to admit and probably wrong, but I want to impress James. He’s only seen me in pajamas or sweaty running clothes—with puppy slobber. I need to convince myself he sees me as a friend. Nothing else.

  I pull on the skinny jeans that fit in all the right places. The black shirt looks great with it, but I know I’ll sweat my ass off in these jeans. Option one, denied.

  I look at the white skirt and push it to the side. What was I thinking? I can’t wear white when everyone will be drinking colorful martinis. This skirt will look like a rainbow by the end of the night. Option two, denied.

  I slide the black dress on and stare at the mirror. I turn left and right. The dress fits my curves and perks up my boobs. My slender back is shown off with the low V of this dress.

  Option three, perfect.

  I can wear the only pair of black heels I have. They will give me some height and make my legs look long and thin. The dress makes me feel comfortable but sexy. James won’t be able to make any short jokes tonight. If he shows up.

  Now on to my hair. I lift some hair up with my hands and turn sideways in front of the mirror. With a halter top, I think pinned up with little strands falling loose will be prettier. If it’s hot in the bar, having it up will be more refreshing. I ruffle my hair while staring at the mound of clothes on the bed.

  What’s happening to me? Most of the time, I don’t want to socialize. Since I met James, I’ve actually felt happy. Other residents at the hospital have commented about how cheerful I have been. Asking me if I’m in love or won the lottery.

  I sift through a box of hair accessories that just fits in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. I find a handful of hair clips and lay them out for later.

  I’ll put all this effort into making myself look beautiful and he won’t even show up. I’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t, but my birthday will be fun either way. I have become my own cheerleader.

  Chapter 20

  James

  I walk into the kitchen and see Lisa and Jessica talking by the sink. What the hell are they doing, and how is it possible they are in the kitchen together? Both turn to me and smile as they walk toward me with their arms open wide. Who do I go to first? My heart races as sweat pools on my forehead. I try to breathe, but my lungs aren’t functioning.

  “Hercules!” I jerk back to reality. The owner of the gym, Tyler, approaches me by the barbells. “It’s time for you to stop. You have been pushing yourself hard since you got here two hours ago.”

  I finish the last rep of bicep curls and drop the barbell to the ground. I wipe my face, neck, and arms off with an already soaked towel.

  “I know you have shit going on in your life, but you’ve pushed yourself way too far this time. I don’t need clients passing out in the middle of the gym.” He tosses me an electrolyte sport drink. “Your face is bright red, veins are popping out of your neck, and you are completely drenched.”

  I glimpse at myself in the mirror. I don’t care.

  “Cool down and stretch, then I want you to go home.”

  I nod and grab a mat.

  It’s true. I’ve been killing myself for the past few hours. I keep replaying the dream I had last night. I woke up covered in sweat and anxious. I needed to burn it off.

  I don’t remember all of my dreams, though I often wake up feeling like I’m having a heart attack. This time I remembered it vividly. I woke up before I chose Jessica or Lisa. Why is Lisa an option in my dream? I plan to keep any relationship with her platonic—no expectations and no romance. Why do I feel like I need to choose, if I only see her as a friend? Because you are attracted to her.

  I finish my drink, then lie on the mat to stretch my muscles. Lethargy kicks in.

  Every day is new and different. I have no idea how I’m going to feel. Yesterday was a good day because I was excited to see Lisa today. Then the guilt kicked in again. I shouldn’t be thinking about another woman. Jessica is the only one for me.

  Guilt is a destructive emotion. It eats away at me like a caterpillar on a leaf. One little piece at a time. I know I need to accept Jessica and the baby are gone. But when I try to move an inch forward, the guilt kicks me back again. This inner conflict sucks
the life out of me.

  I flip over onto my stomach to stretch my quads. Tomorrow I’m going to regret these two hours. My quads are screaming.

  I fell asleep last night holding my favorite picture of Jessica, taken when she was six months pregnant. She has her hand on top of her pregnant belly. Her glowing smile reflects how healthy, happy, and excited she was for our baby to be born.

  Every time I look at it, I beg myself to get better. I dig deep to find a speck of motivation, a positive outlook, or even the slightest bit of hope of ever being happy again. But the pain of losing them is so fucking crippling.

  Spending time with Lisa has been like a breath of fresh air, as if I were stuck in a house with all the windows closed on a hot day without air conditioning and someone finally opened the windows after a thunderstorm. She helps me find pieces of myself I have lost. I’ve smiled and laughed more with her during those two encounters than I have over the past year.

  After stretching, I disinfect the mat and put it away.

  Do I meet Lisa at the bar tonight, or do I stay home like every other night? I feel I owe it to Alexa because she’s ecstatic I said yes. She would be disappointed if I backed out. A part of me really wants to go, but I don’t know what this urge is to see Lisa. Is it because she doesn’t remind me of the past, like everything else does?

  To be honest, she does remind me of the past, but a very distant one. The girl in the car accident had similar eyes as Lisa. The girl’s name from the ski accident was Lisa, and she also had a soothing voice. My emotions and thoughts twist like Chinese noodles.

  I haven’t mentioned these things to Alexa. I’m sure she would send me straight to a loony bin. It would sound so outrageous to say it out loud. Maybe I’m just obsessed with big blue eyes and soothing voices. At least Lisa’s eyes do not remind me of Jessica. Actually, nothing about Lisa, as a person, reminds me of Jessica.

  Chapter 21

  Lisa

  Cloud Nine is packed. There is a show next door at 8:30 p.m. I hope several people will be leaving. I have only been here once before, but I love the atmosphere. The lighting is dim, offering a romantic touch. Over the bar tables are small, round, crystal lamps that hang from the ceiling. The shimmering light from the crystals glimmers on the dark-red walls. A big square bar of shiny new mahogany dominates the middle of the room, with matching barstools lining each side. Martini glass after martini glass lines the shelves on the mirrored walls behind the bar.

  At first, I don’t see Emily or Tina. I make my way through the crowd, surrounded by the buzz of conversations. I circle the bar one more time and see Emily there, with Tina behind her. I sneak up to them from behind and tap their shoulders. Both turn with big smiles on their faces and grab me in a three-way hug.

  “Happy birthday, Lisa,” Tina shouts. “Wow, you look awesome tonight. Are you hoping to get lucky?” She leans over and whispers into my ear, “With James maybe?”

  I scan the bar to make sure James isn’t nearby. I pull Tina aside. “Be quiet. He might be here. Also, Emily and the others don’t know about him. I never told them what happened.”

  “What are you two whispering about?” Emily says as she sips her bright-turquoise martini.

  I crinkle my nose and I elbow Tina. “That color reminds me of the antifreeze Dad always stored in the garage.”

  “Ha! That’s too funny. I don’t know why he stored so many containers of that stuff in the garage. I guess it’s a mechanic thing.”

  “It’s a Curacao martini. Blue Curacao makes it this color. Add a little orange bitter, clementine juice, vodka, and gin, and violà.” Emily gestures with her hand. “It’s yummy!”

  “We need to get you a drink to kick off your birthday celebration,” Tina says.

  Emily holds up her hand. “I’ll order it. This drink is on me. What’s your poison for the evening?”

  “I’ll start off with something basic. A cosmopolitan for now. I’ll experiment later,” I say as I tap my fingers together.

  “Suit yourself. It’s your birthday, so you make the rules. We found some tables over in the corner—go say hello to everyone.” She points to a spot not too far from the main entrance. That’s good. I can watch out for James.

  Emily taps my arm. “I brought a friend from work to party with us. He’s really nice, and I told him all about you.” She gives me a devilish smile.

  I roll my eyes. “Please don’t start with me tonight. Let me enjoy my birthday without you trying to fix me up with some random guy again.”

  She winks at me and walks away. I have to give her points for trying. James better show up now!

  Tina puts her arm around my shoulder. “I’m so glad I’m here. A last-minute meeting was scheduled, but I refused and walked out the door. I’ll probably get in trouble on Monday, but I don’t care. I hate where I work.” She squeezes my shoulder to the point it hurts. “I have missed you so much!”

  “It means a lot to me that you came. My schedule is so random it’s hard to plan anything lately. I’m glad it worked out for all of us tonight.”

  I search the unfamiliar faces in the crowd. This bar attracts an older clientele, not the college-age crowd—the drinks are too expensive.

  “Maybe there will be some cute guys for you to flirt with.” I tap her hip with mine. “You look hot tonight. Black sequined shirt, red skirt, and sexy black sandals. Mile-long legs. Gorgeous!” We giggle like little girls.

  She blows a lone strand of hair off her face. “Whatever. On top of hating where I work, my love life sucks. I never meet anyone nice, let alone worth talking to for more than five seconds. They’re always so boring. But that labels my life perfectly right now…boring.”

  “What do you expect when you’re a brilliant software developer and website designer? Everyone just stares at the computer and ignores each other.”

  She nods in agreement. “Let’s talk about you. Are you sure you didn’t dress up for James? You’re looking pretty exceptional tonight yourself. You haven’t looked this good or smiled so much in years. I’m so thrilled to see you this happy. I know it has something to do with him.”

  Her comments make me smile even more. “No, I didn’t dress up for him. Well, not really. Okay. Maybe just a little bit. The other part of me is sick of wearing scrubs that smell like disinfectant and stale urine. And I still have four more years of this.”

  She plugs her ears. “I don’t want to hear about what you experience or smell in the hospital on a daily basis. No more talk about our jobs.” She tugs me toward our table. “You need to say hi to your friends. Let’s have fun.”

  We arrive at the table, and I scan for James as I check my watch one more time. It’s after eight. My heart sinks. I have to admit, seeing him is a big reason why I’m fired up tonight. But if he doesn’t show, I can’t let it bother me. No man will bring me down again. This is the start of a new year for me, where I change things for the better. No matter what happens, I will enjoy this evening with my friends. If he comes, he needs to look for me. Good motivational speech. It better work.

  My friends scream “Happy birthday, Lisa!” and then start to sing. All eyes are on me. Once they finish singing, the crowd starts clapping. I want to crawl under a table. I’m never in the spotlight.

  Emily hands me a cosmopolitan. She lifts her glass. “Happy birthday, Lisa. We all wish you a great night and year ahead. May all your wishes come true.”

  We lift our drinks.

  “Cheers to that,” I yell and take a sip of the cold martini. One of my secret wishes is for James to show up.

  “Lisa, let me introduce you to my friend from work.”

  I plaster a smile on my face and follow her. He looks pretty cute. Black hair and blue eyes, wearing glasses like Superman. I can talk to him for a few minutes.

  “Lisa, this is Bert.”

  Bert? Where’s Ernie?

  “Hi, Bert. Nice to meet you.” I sigh to myself. Hopefully, Tina will pull me away from him within a few minutes. Sisterly intuition
.

  Chapter 22

  James

  “Alexa, it’s 8:15. We need to go! What the hell is taking you so long?” I yell as I pace back and forth in the living room. “How much hairspray could you possibly need?”

  “My hair is done. I’m changing my outfit,” she responds nonchalantly from her bedroom.

  I rub my temples. “Again? You looked fine with the other two outfits. Come on now!” I growl.

  She walks out of her bedroom. “I’m just kidding. I’m trying to get a rise out of you. I see it’s working. Relax. I don’t know why you’re so nervous. The martinis aren’t going to run out,” she remarks as she cleans the lipstick off her teeth.

  “This is my first time going out in over a year. I want to go, but I also want to stay here. You can’t possibly understand.” I let out a big breath as I turn away.

  Alexa walks up behind me and puts her arms around me. “I’m sorry, big brother. If you think I don’t understand, you are correct. I hope I never do. My wish is for you to relax and enjoy yourself tonight. You deserve it more than anyone I know. Maybe you will actually have a good time.” She squeezes me extra tight. “Keep an open mind. Forget everything that has happened, and relax. If it becomes too much for you and you want to leave, just say the word, and we’re out of there.”

  She plays with her hair one more time. “Let’s get going. Lisa awaits.”

  We are out of the door by 8:25. The bar is two blocks over, so we arrive within a few minutes. There is a big crowd in front of the theater, so we have to squeeze our way through to find the entrance of Cloud Nine. I feel so out of place. Going to a bar to socialize is not what I do. During the past year, I’ve only gone to bars to get drunk and be antisocial.

  I had my hair cut a couple of days ago. Why do I care? I’m not trying to impress anyone. As part of the makeover Alexa gave me, she suggested solid color T-shirts that are a little snug to show off my shoulders and arms. Even though this is not my typical attire, I followed her advice and wore basic blue jeans and a plain gray T-shirt. I pat down my shirt before I walk through the door.