Evanescere: Origins

by Vanessa Buckingham

  “So what you are saying is that in a sense they suffered from cultural shock and decided to remain where they felt most at home,” I replied glad to know I was on the right track.

  “Exactly,” he exclaimed.

  I noticed the hour and realized the pubs would be closing soon. We start walking back toward “civilization,” and little by little the crowds began to thicken on the sidewalks. I noticed many could barely stand victims of their heavy drink. It is time to go. Humans are not supposed to stay out all night without sleep. It would seem strange if we stayed out all night. I honestly did not care, I wanted to go out and continue exploring this new world.

  We hail a taxi and make the journey back to the hotel, feigning sleep and exhaustion. Actually another perk if you would call it that, is that we don’t sleep, no snack breaks, unless you count feeding every once in a while, and no bathroom breaks. With all the time that I have at my disposal, I tend to get creative. Jack enjoys the fact that I stay busy. Being busy keeps me from having too much time to think about other things. I could not stop from thinking, wishing that Axel and my children could be here with me. Instead I am here without them. I push the thought aside before I give into to that emotion.

  Our stay in London was short lived by my standards. But I made good use of what little time we spent here. Unbeknownst to Jack I began to make frequent runs to the sewers. I was curious of the old ones and fascinated by them at the same time. Sometimes I would lose track of time before I would realize the sun was rising outside. My time with the old ones is one that I would cherish.

  I am not exactly sure what it was that Jack did these days. I know he would go out and return before the sun rose. I asked him one day and he just told me he was working on business. I was not sure what kind of business he had to attend to. I imagine being alive this long his business ventures were many. So I spent a lot of time alone these days. Being alone is something I am not used to. I tend to get bored easily which is how I began to find myself in the London sewers just about every day. The old ones came to trust me. I was amazed by them and it appeared that they too enjoyed my company. Every so often I would come across someone with evil intentions and I would carry them away to the old ones. I would give them a proper meal, a sort of break from the rats that overwhelmed the sewers. They appeared to enjoy this kindness.

  Although they never left the sewers, they did their hunting in the underground labyrinth of the sewers. Their diet consisted primarily of giant sewer rats that even I found deplorable. As much as I detested the taste of human blood, I hated rats even more. On one of my visits they offered me one the size of a house cat and out of respect to the old one’s I drank it. I hid the disgust from showing on my face. The more time I spent in London’s sewers the easier it became for me. Having some type of companionship was something I craved. I loved hearing the histories of the old ones.

  There was Pullo, an old Roman Gladiator, was turned by a vampire masquerading as a Roman noblewoman. She had risked her own life to save his in the arena and in so doing revealed her true self. She fled with him to Britannica, else the Roman Emperor should himself seek her out to destroy her.

  Then there was Lucius, he was one of the Roman Senators and one of Caesar’s conspirators. Lucius basically sold his sold in exchange for immortality. You can guess what his job was. I was enchanted with Lucius’ tale of revenge and murder. To meet someone who had helped to facilitate the murder of one of Rome’s greatest men was beyond belief.

  Leta, was a young woman, a Viking by her short golden hair. Her heavy accent made it difficult to understand her story, partly because her tongue was cut out of her in battle. Leta preferred to dress in a manly fashion and so it was she found herself near death in the arms of Viktor her creator. Leta’s story is similar to mine. She dressed as a man to join battle and was injured severely. In trying to help her the men found out a woman had joined their ranks and each had a turn with her. As punishment she was left for dead and her tongue removed. To prevent her from telling tales in the afterlife. There were many more vampires down here and each eager to tell me their stories. So it was that I came to visit them every day. Learning more about them and the different things they could do. With Leta, I felt. bonded. We were women whom the world had done a great injustice.

  When I look back and reflect, being in London is something I had always dreamed of back when I was mortal. It was sad that I would be here without the ones I loved. Being here, living a different life, being a different person.

  9. PARADISE LOST

  P

  ERCEPTIONS OF LIFE AND OF ALL things vary. Everyone experiences life differently, as is the case with me. According to Jack, I took to immortal life with ease and finesse. I also took on a new hunger for life, for knowledge. I learned a long time ago that the way people process reality is different in so many ways and that no one version is ever the truth. When I was human I experienced life as a passing blur, now that I was no longer human it was not a passing blur, sadly I had forgotten how to live life and enjoy it. I regret the things I should have done or said. The only thing I can do is look forward and hope that I do not break because that is the direction I was going, I wanted to mourn all I had lost but I could not bring myself to do so. To do so would mean my very own destruction.

  If I could sleep I would dream of them here with me. My children running around on the soft damp earth. I continue to hang on to the ever fading memories and hope that one day I could hear the soft pitter patter of little feet and the excited voices as they find the joy in life. This is my new reality, a reality without the ones I loved. For this moment, I push the idea aside and continue on with life.

  After a few weeks in London, I finally found out what Jack had been doing. He had surprised me with a cottage outside of Bodmin, England. It was beautiful almost like a fairytale, with beautiful gardens, fountains and a pond with Koi fish. The cottage was so cozy and it was perfect in every way. I was excited by such a gesture from Jack and if my heart could still beat, it would have been warmed by the thought. I realized for the first time in a long time I was happy. I knew it would take time to ease the pain of my loss, but my family would always be with me. If only things had happened differently, then we could have been here, together as a family to experience the beauty that this world had to offer. Maybe one day they would get the chance to explore it.

  I looked into Jack’s mind, he did not block me this time, and his thoughts were pure. He felt that not only would the humans be safer with me in the county (yes he actually thought it and I was grateful for the thought), but that I would enjoy the scenery. I must confess it takes my breath away. For me to be here, in such a beautiful country was overwhelming. I inhaled deeply and I could smell the salty aroma that only the sea could give. I had never seen cliffs before, I would have to explore it in full when I get the opportunity to do so.

  Even though Jack and I had relocated to the countryside, I still continued my nightly ritual of running to London to meet with the old ones. For some time, Jack did not notice my absence, that is until the day he went to seek me out. He walked through the cottage room by room and he walked the gardens and the beach He searched for me inside and out until he came upon my scent in the Cardinham Woods. By the strength of my scent it was less than an hour old, so he followed it.

  I can only imagine he was hoping with all hope that I had not taken to hunting in Bodmin. As he approached the village the scent continued on past Exeter, past Salisbury and on towards London. He feared what a new vampire loose in England was capable of and was hoping I was not out hunting without him. He felt on edge because of my absence and the possibilities, but he also gave me the benefit of the doubt. I had made him second guess me on more than one occasion. If he had been mortal, he would have had a heart attack by such a scare. Fortunately for him he was immortal and incapable of such behavior.

  I smiled at his thoughts. I was amazed that through such a great distance I was still able to hear them. I informed the old ones
of Jacks approach. I gave them a play by play of everything going on in his mind. They found his internal fear humorous and even I joined in the ruckus.

  At the entrance of the sewer, Jack was met by Avitus, an ancient vampire. He was kind hearted and very grandfatherly. Avitus’ pale skin looked so papery and fragile. I guess living in isolation and rarely feeding has this effect on us. I don’t think I was interested in trying an alternative life style. The old one looked to him in passing and told him I spent my nights with the old ones learning their histories. He also told him he needed to trust a little. Jack smiled at him.

  Jack and Avitus proceeded down the winding maze of the sewers and with my hearing focused I could hear him approaching us. His thoughts closer to mine. The old ones continue their stories, for a brief moment reliving the past. At last he reached us and tried to keep his presence secret from me. I struggled with this because I felt compelled to draw him near me, but I was lost in the enchanting stories of the old ones that did not want to lose that focus. I felt something in Jack I had not felt before, it was a new emotion in him. I hear his unspoken thoughts.

  He was captivated by me. He saw my compassion and patience for the old ones. Not many of our kind could treat them as I could. He was surprised when he saw the old ones bow to me with reverence. I felt honored by this action.

  The histories continued on, each one just as fascinating as the last. I did not realize how lost I was in my visions of times long gone. It was not until I saw an armed gladiator charging towards me and Jack falling back, that I realized he was seeing what I was seeing. I did not know how I was able to project the images of the histories so vividly to him. It was as though I had traveled to another time taking him with me. This was a new talent I had somehow discovered,

  I reached out to Jack and he came up to me and sat beside me. His breath caught as he inhaled. The look he gave me was one of curiosity. I took his hand in mine and suddenly, the old one’s voice began, it had that far away, dreaming voice, he began the story of our creation:

  “In the beginning, Genesis tells us that God created the heavens and earth; animals and man. Then one-day God realized that every animal had a mate except for Adam, so it was that with this realization God created woman and named her Lilith. In this the story of our creation is born. Lilith questioned her place in a world ruled by God and Adam. She questioned her duty to submit to Adam and this so angered God and he cast her out of the Garden of Eden damning her to a life of eternity.

  “In this damnation Lilith was changed and was soon unable to walk in the sun. Lilith became a follower of the night. For only in the light of the moon was she safe. She found she could no longer eat the food provided by the Earth, as it no longer appealed to her. Lilith was so lost in her hunger through her wanders of the lands and near starvation when she came upon a village sacrificing a bull. The blood spilled from the bull drove her to near frenzy and she made herself known to the human race. These early humans believed a Goddess had come from the heavens and they fell to their knees in worship.

  “In this realization, Lilith learned she could only drink blood, the life’s source of mortality. The humans built a temple to Lilith where she lived and they worshipped her. Once a month a young maiden was brought to her as sacrifice. This would appease her thirst for short periods of time, but it would not completely satiate it. Soon she realized Adam was no longer in the Garden of Eden and she began to search the world for him.

  “Years passed and she found no trace of Adam in the world. The world began to change people began to live in communities, villages and farms. The world now has kings and queens and the land was divided. There was war, famine, and other natural disasters. The world was slowly changing and humans were slowly destroying it. The world became full of hungry, greedy, murderous humans, so much so that God cast them out and destroyed the world by raining fire and brimstone over it.

  “One day during her travels, Lilith came upon a familiar scent a scent similar to that of Adam. A musky almost earthy scent. A scent so warm and spicy she could recognize it from anywhere. After years of being Adam’s wife it was a scent she knew all too well. So she followed it. At the end of her trail in an open field she found a farmer who looked like Adam. A young Adam. An Adam of youth. Her throat burned from thirst and her body yearned for him. As she approached him, she knew this was not Adam. This man was the son of Adam. In a jealous rage she pounced upon him and from him she drank his life source. Before taking his life she found the strength to control her hunger and feed the son of Adam her own blood. Lilith had been alone for centuries and had never created another creature such as her. She was unsure if this would work or if the man would die.

  “Lilith took flight with Caine in her arms. For three days she held him and witnessed his change. For three days she waited and her plan began to grow. Her hatred for Adam and for God so filled her with rage that it consumed her thoughts. In her state she could taste the vengeance on her lips. On the third day Lilith unleashed Caine on Adam and his mother Eve.

  “It came to be that Lilith’s plan worked beautifully for Caine so hated his brother Abel. Abel, who had the love of his father and the love of God. Caine’s unknown hunger and hate combined and he could not help himself. He killed his own brother by drinking his life’s source. Unknown to Caine his father and mother came to seek out Abel for they had not heard from Caine. Adam and Eve screamed in their horror and in their anguish fell to their knees and beckoned God to seek vengeance against their son. God heard the cries of Adam and Eve and so cursed Caine to forever mourn his brother. After several years Caine became King Consort to Lilith, and Adam and Eve soon passed and were no more. In their grief God allowed Adam and Eve to become one with the Earth and suffer the death of Abel no more.”

  I read the old one’s mind and I could see the images his mind created, and these images I projected to Jack. So lost was I in the tale that when I finally did blink I noticed Jack was staring at me and so were the others. I saw Jack smile, really smile for the first time and I finally understood, in his human life he had loved and lost as well. I remembered in my past that I was loved by everyone and I loved them too. Maybe I was special and I just did not realize how special. It was this moment that I knew I could love him more than just as my maker. He stirred in me a feeling I thought I would never feel again and apparently I did the same to him.

  This new emotion terrified me. I never thought I could love another. I still mourned the family I left behind and this is a cross I will always bear. I was unsure if I was willing to share that cross just yet. I was not yet prepared to let Jack know how I felt and I knew he too was not ready to love. We were together, yet we were so alone. We craved each other’s company, but I feared giving into this one emotion. It would either damn me to hell or absolve me, either way I could not have the best of both worlds. I wanted Jack and I wanted my family. I could never have both.

  I was lost in my own thoughts that I did not hear Jack or the others speaking to me. My eyes were glazed over in thought. I was a child lost and afraid in a new world. My eyes blinked for a minute when Jack’s voice broke through my concentration.

  “That was interesting, Salome,” he began. The way he said my name was like a soft caress.

  “Salome, are you with me?” he asked, concern written on his face.

  “Oh! I’m sorry. I just get lost in my thoughts sometimes,” I explained,

  “This night proved to be an interesting revelation for us both,” he stated.

  I was unsure what he was asking me and looked to him for clarification. He shut me out of his thoughts. I respected this and gave him the privacy he needed. I guess it is safe to say his thoughts were on me. I just was not sure I was ready to know.

  “I mean the way I can see the images that your mind creats. I don’t know anyone else that could create such vivid imagery. The old ones here are unsure what to make of it either?” he clarified. They find you fascinating and enchanting. I have never seen them open up to such a
young one like yourself. I am sorry I ever doubted you, Salome. In my experience with new vampires they have always been blood crazy, mad with the hunger, but you. You baffle me. You have never been mad with hunger. You have a craving for knowledge. I believe being a mother in your human life allowed you to overcome the insanity. You see humans as more than just food. You detest human blood and even when you feed on the evil doers I can tell it pains you. When you feed off of animals it pains you just as much. You suffer with the hunger for your own reasons,” he explained.

  “Salome, I envy you,” he began again ever so softly. “You had a world that was perfect for you and only now you are realizing how precious it was to you. I wish I could take the pain away from you. I wish that life would have been kinder to you, fairer. Alas, it was not so.”

  While Jack spoke, I sat there beside him stunned by his words. They meant so much to me. I felt a silent tear escape my eye. Again I ran through my thoughts and remembered that as a human I had a deep love for reading and had read several books in which in my mind I was so lost in the story that I felt I as though I had been sucked into the story itself. I could picture everything vividly, from the imagery to the aromas described. It was a though the words came alive in my mind. I did not know how to explain this to Jack but in the end I tried and succeeded. It took reading a book for several chapters before he was able to comprehend what I was telling him.

  “I can only make the assumption that since we are bonded by the blood and as maker and creation that our connection is strong. Stronger that some of the coupled vampires who have been together for centuries,” he explained.

  “Salome, there is only one who may have the answer but I am unsure if it would be wise to try to wake him this early,” he left off in mid-sentence. I was intrigued by this sudden mystery.

  “Who?” I asked.