‘You make it sound so easy.’
Nick slowly headed towards the lighthouse and sat down on a bench, looking out towards the sea. What was he thinking? Was he crying? Praying? Thinking about happy times with those he’d lost? I wished I were with him to give my support.
He stood up and took a couple of paces closer to the edge, preparing to throw the roses in. Then he stopped and looked back down the pier. I followed the direction of his gaze to see a figure hurrying towards him. No, no, no! It couldn’t be.
‘Is that her?’ Clare whispered.
I couldn’t answer. I watched as Nick and Blonde held each other. ‘Are they…?’
Clare stood up and walked a few paces in each direction. ‘I can’t tell if it’s a hug or a kiss. Wrong angle.’
‘You’d tell me the truth? I’ve heard enough lies already this week.’
‘I honestly can’t see. He’s got his back to us and the sun’s too low. I’m sorry, Sarah. I can’t tell.’ She sat down again. ‘Hug or kiss, are you still going to fight for him?’
I looked at them, still holding each other tightly. ‘Maybe. But not today. Perhaps I’ll have to wait a bit longer for my fresh start.’
‘It’s not a Happy New Year after all,’ Clare said. ‘This is why I hate New Year; too many expectations and too many disappointments.’
‘You’re wrong.’ I stood up and reached for Clare’s hand to pull her to her feet. ‘Things may not have gone as planned today but it’s still a Happy New Year, especially when you compare it to last year. I’m living in a place I love, close to my family. I get to spend six days a week on my hobby and actually get paid for it. I have amazing friends including one who, even though I rudely abandoned her to move back home, has been by my side most weekends helping me build an incredibly successful business. I may not have Nick in my life at the moment but I’d still say it’s a very Happy New Year.’
Clare smiled. ‘Well, when you put it like that, I think it sounds like we have something to celebrate. What time do pubs open round here?’
Chapter 37
A week passed. Then another. Then another. Before I knew it, January and February had whizzed by, signalling four months since my new home, new business, and new life.
I didn’t see or hear anything from Nick. I regularly checked Facebook but he never seemed to update it. Shortly after January’s Bay Trade meeting, I noticed a post from Skye on his timeline saying they’d missed him and hoped he was okay. He replied but all it said was, ‘Sorry. Hopefully back next month.’ There was no reference to February’s meeting.
Skye had sent me a Facebook friend request and, although I accepted, I politely declined her invite to either month’s Bay Trade meeting; it just didn’t feel right when Nick was one of the founder members.
Life settled into a routine. Stevie and I enrolled in the monthly membership scheme at the cinema and made good use of it by going every Tuesday and Thursday. He decided he wanted to lose some weight so we started running along the beach a couple of mornings a week with his dog. It was hard-going at first as we ran for longer than I’d done on my own but I persevered and, within a few weeks, we’d built it up to every other day and slightly longer distances. I kept hoping but we never saw Nick. On the positive side, I found myself back at the weight I’d been when I started at university which absolutely delighted me. I could finally get back into my size twelve jeans although Clare made me put them in a charity bag as they were ‘so a million seasons ago’.
Elise dropped by the shop after school every Wednesday for a cuppa and a catch-up. We also went out for drinks or a meal every other Friday or Saturday and Clare came to stay each weekend in between, fitting visits round her meetings with her northern-based clients.
Flowers & Gifts settled into a routine too. I recruited a new team and Mum gradually reduced her hours as they settled into their roles. I discovered what sold well and found new suppliers to keep a regular turnover of new gifts.
I was awarded the exceptionally lucrative contract at The Ramparts Hotel and anxiously displayed my first arrangements in the hotel in late January to a barrage of compliments. An unexpected bonus was a stack of additional business from hotel guests and business-users after admiring my work.
As promised, Clare patiently trained me in sales and negotiation techniques and she’d been absolutely right; I could do it without being gorgeous, blonde, and Irish. I put my skills into practice immediately, visiting all the funeral directors in town to tout for business as well as hotels, guesthouses, restaurants, and tourist hot spots. I had to take on another two team members to help me keep up with all the extra business I generated.
Business was booming, I had a great team round me, I saw my best friends regularly and I had so much to be thankful for. As I cashed up each day, I couldn’t help but feel proud of everything I’d achieved at work. It had seemed like a constant battle to find recognition and fulfilment in my previous role at the bank and now I had it in spades every day.
But, every so often, I’d have a pang of loneliness and long for Nick by my side. Feeling melancholy, I’d get home from work, put on my PJs, then cuddle Mr Pink as I cried my way through a couple of romantic movies, berating myself for throwing my movie-perfect opportunity away.
In early-March, I picked up a large last-minute booking for a medieval-themed wedding.
‘That’s stunning,’ Cathy said.
I inserted the last piece of foliage into the bridal bouquet and stepped back from the counter to admire my handy-work. ‘Do you think it looks medieval?’
‘I’m no expert but I’d say so. That ivy looks gorgeous.’
‘Doesn’t it? Must use it more often.’
‘I’ve just done that last posy so is that everything finished now?’
I clicked onto the order on my PC to double check. ‘I think so. Bridal bouquet, three adult bridesmaid posies, a headdress, three flower girl baskets and, of course, the stack of window and table arrangements I did at Sherrington Hall last night.’ I looked at the clock. ‘Half an hour to spare, too. Not bad going.’
‘What time did you finish last night?’
‘About half one this morning.’ I yawned at the thought of the four-and-a-half hours of sleep that I’d had.
‘Sarah! You should have let me help you.’
‘It was your wedding anniversary. I wasn’t going to ask you to cancel your plans for a last-minute booking. To be fair, I could have finished a lot sooner but, as it’s my first wedding, I was being a bit of a perfectionist. Did you have a nice meal?’
‘It was perfect, thanks. You’ll never guess where he took me.’
‘Where?’
‘The Apple and Peach.’
‘Wow! It’s supposed to be amazing there.’ The Apple and Peach was a Michelin-starred restaurant about twenty minutes up the coast.
‘Oh, it was,’ she gushed. ‘You should get Nick to take you if…’
‘If we ever get back together,’ I said when she tailed off, looking horrified at what she’d said. ‘I don’t think that’s going to happen any more, Cathy. It’s been too long.’
‘Er… Shall I just go to The Outback and pop the kettle on then get a box for this lot?’
I nodded. Poor Cathy looked relieved to make her escape. I fiddled absent-mindedly with a small piece of discarded ivy as I gazed at the bouquet and wondered what the bride was doing at that very moment. Hair? Nails? Make up? Sipping champagne with a huge grin on her face? I wished it were me getting married today. I wished I was the bride and Nick was the groom. I knew he looked gorgeous in a morning suit. I closed my eyes and tried to picture us at the altar together.
The bell tinkled as the door opened and closed. I reluctantly opened my eyes. A tall slim woman walked slowly towards the counter. I gasped as I recognised her. None other than Blonde. Eek! She’s a potential customer. Be friendly and professional ev
en if you have just been fantasising about marrying her boyfriend and really just want to slap her about with a long stem of gladioli. Still in it’s metal tub, of course!
‘Morning!’ I said a little too brightly.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘Are you Sarah?’
She knew my name? ‘Er, yes.’ My stomach clenched. Did she know about Nick and me? Had she come to warn me away? I studied her face for some sort of clue and noticed that she wore minimal make-up. I could see that she was naturally very pretty, but she looked tired. Large bags under red-rimmed eyes indicated someone who’d either been burning the candle at both ends or crying. Maybe she’d split up with Nick. He was certainly worth crying over. I should know!
‘Great,’ she said. ‘Nick said I should ask for you.’
‘Nick Derbyshire?’ I had to be sure.
‘Yes. He recommended you. He said you’re the best and nicest florist in town. He obviously thinks very highly of you.’
I didn’t know what to say. Was that a dig or a compliment? ‘Is there something I can help you with?’
‘I’d like to order some flowers for a funeral, please.’ She ran a slender hand through her long hair. Her hand shook.
‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I said gently. ‘Someone close?’
‘My husband, Alex.’
Husband?
Her pale eyes filled with tears. ‘He lost his fight with cancer on Tuesday. He was only thirty-three. It’s too young isn’t it?’
I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat that always formed when I heard about bereavements. Regularly encountering death was a big downside to my new career and I hoped it would get easier with time although I suspected it never would.
‘Do you have a date for the funeral?’ And tell me why you were kissing Nick if you had a dying husband.
‘Next week. Monday.’
‘Do you want a wreath or something else?’
A tear slipped down Blonde’s cheek. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, voice cracking. ‘I thought I was strong enough to do this but I don’t think I am just now.’ She dropped her bag on the counter and started rummaging. I watched in alarm as more and more tears flowed and she became more and more agitated.
‘Are you okay?’ Stupid question as she clearly wasn’t but it was the first thing that popped into my head.
‘I can’t find my tissues.’
‘Here.’ I grabbed a box from under the counter and offered it to her. ‘Help yourself.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Would you like to sit down for a moment? Can I get you a glass of water?’
‘Yes please. To both. If you don’t mind.’
I led her to a wooden chair near the entrance to The Outback and removed a few teddy bears displayed on it. Cathy appeared with a couple of mugs of tea. ‘Cathy, you couldn’t get a glass of water for this customer, could you?’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Blonde handed me the empty glass a short while later. ‘I don’t normally lose it in front of complete strangers.’
‘It’s okay. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose your husband.’
‘It’s agony,’ she said. ‘I hope you never have to go through it. Are you married?’
‘No.’ My eyes flicked to the bridal bouquet on the counter. ‘Always hoping.’
‘I always wanted to get married,’ she said. ‘When I was little, I was obsessed with weddings. I had all my dolls and teddies married to each other. Made my mum mad when I got hold of her veil and cut it into several pieces so all my girl-bears could have one.’ She smiled at the memory. ‘I was so desperate for my day to come that I nearly married the wrong person. He was more like a friend, though. The chemistry wasn’t there and I realised I couldn’t keep trying to create it just so I could have my big day. The hardest part was that the person I did marry — Alex — was his best friend and that was the end of a brilliant friendship for the two of them.’
Oh my God! She’s talking about Nick. She’s his ex-fiancée! ‘Are you Lisa?’
‘Yes. How did you…?’
‘Were you talking about Nick just now?’
Her eyes widened. ‘He told you about me?’
‘Bits. I know about the wedding.’
‘Did he tell you he was with Alex when he died?’
‘I… I haven’t spoken to him recently.’ He was with Alex when he died? That must mean he knew about the cancer. Which must mean Lisa told him. I wonder when she…? ‘Do you mind me asking how he knew about Alex? I thought they weren’t in touch.’
‘They weren’t but I went to see Nick just after Christmas. Alex told me not to but I knew what it would mean to him to get Nick’s forgiveness before…’ She wiped her eyes again. ‘I knew it was a big ask. I must have driven round his block a dozen times before I had the courage to knock on his door. I braced myself for a scene but I should’ve known I had nothing to worry about. He’s not that kind of man. I didn’t even need to beg him to visit. As soon as I told him about Alex, he asked to see him. After everything we did to him, he just came straight out with it, no excuses, no hesitations. He’s visited every day since and…’ Her tears started again. ‘I don’t think he’ll ever know how much that meant to us both. We knew we had to be together, but regretted every day that we hurt Nick in the process. Watching Nick and Alex has been just like old times. I’d have understood if he’d been nice to Alex’s face and blanked me but he’s been amazing with me too. I don’t know how I’d have got through it without his support.’
My throat constricted again. I tried to imagine how Nick would have felt when given the news that the man who’d stolen his fiancée was about to die and how he was feeling right now, knowing that he was with him at the end. I longed to be there to comfort him. I was also acutely aware of the huge mistake I’d made about him and Lisa, which had kept us apart at a time when he could probably have used my support. No wonder they’d hugged so tightly on Lighthouse Point on New Year’s Day; they’d had a lot to comforting to do.
‘I’m keeping you from your work.’ Lisa wiped her eyes again and rose from the chair.
‘It’s no trouble,’ I assured her. ‘Quiet day.’ But, the minute I said it, the door opened and a couple of customers came in. Cathy was able to help one but the other loitered by the counter.
‘I’d best do what I came in to do,’ she said as we walked to the counter. ‘Can I order two wreaths please? A large white and purple one from me and a smaller yellow and orange one from the kids.’
I’d forgotten they had children, poor little mites. I noted down the messages Lisa wanted on the wreaths and discussed delivery arrangements. She thanked me for my kindness. ‘Nick’s a great guy,’ she said as she turned towards the door. ‘You’re not an item are you?’
I shook my head. ‘We were. Briefly. But I messed it up.’
‘You will be again. I’m sure of it.’
‘What makes you think…?’
‘The way he lights up when he talks about you. You did the same when you said his name. I don’t know what happened between the two of you but, if it can be repaired, repair it. Life’s too short. I should know.’
‘A twenty pound bouquet when you’ve finished gossiping.’ An angry male voice drew my eyes away from the door for a moment. When I looked up again, Lisa had gone.
‘For now or collection later?’ I muttered.
‘Now. Be quick.’
Yes sir! I quickly set about selecting flowers. To my dismay, the door opened again and another couple of customers came in and loitered by the counter. No chance of me reflecting on Lisa’s revelations, then.
Chapter 38
* To Stevie
Do you have time for a drink before the cinema tonight? Blonde came into the shop today! She’s not seeing Nick. Big misunderstanding. Not sure what to do next. Would welcome male perspective xx
* From
Stevie
Sounds intriguing! Will have to drive straight there rather than pick you up as I have a meeting. Meet you in The Anchor at 7pm :)
The Anchor, five doors along from the cinema, had become a regular haunt for pre- or post-cinema drinks with Stevie. It was a bit of a dive but the staff were friendly and it was convenient. After an invigorating walk down to the seafront, I held my breath as I opened the door and braced myself against the mix of stale beer, old socks and, a bit randomly, egg mayonnaise sandwiches. They didn’t even serve food so I’ve no idea why it always smelled like that.
I looked to the right then the left. I recognised a few regulars but no Stevie. Maybe his meeting had run over. I headed to the bar and ordered our usual drinks. The door creaked open. I turned round, expecting to greet Stevie. But it wasn’t Stevie. It was…
‘Nick?’ I felt as though my heart was going to leap out of my chest.
He looked just as surprised to see me. ‘Sarah? What are you doing here?’
‘Meeting Stevie for drinks before the cinema. What are you doing here?’
‘Meeting Stevie to discuss some business,’ he said.
‘Really?’
Nick nodded. ‘I smell another set-up.’
‘I think you may be right. The cheeky little… not that I’m disappointed to see you, of course.’ I looked deep into his eyes. ‘It’s actually really great to see you, Nick.’
Nick held my gaze. ‘And you too.’
I indicated Stevie’s drink. ‘It’s your favourite too. Care to join me?’
We took a seat in a secluded corner. ‘How’ve you been?’ I asked.
Nick shrugged. ‘It’s not been the greatest start to the year.’
‘I know about Alex. I’m really sorry.’
Tears formed in Nick’s eyes. ‘How?’
‘Lisa ordered flowers for the funeral today, but she got upset and it all came out. It must have been hard on you seeing him like that after all this time.’
‘Hardest thing I’ve ever done. I just keep thinking of all those wasted years. We used to be inseparable, you know. Lisa and I weren’t right for each other and we’d probably have divorced within a year. When I realised that, I could have got in touch and wished them well but, instead, I held a grudge and I nearly let him die thinking I still hated him.’ Nick rubbed his eyes. ‘Sorry. I’m being a wimp. Grown men aren’t meant to cry, are they?’
Searching for Steven (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 1) Page 31
