Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1)

by Audrina Lane

  “Are you practising tonight?” I asked

  “Yes but just for an hour as Mrs Grantley doesn’t want to overwork us and knows we all need an early night” she finished.

  “Ok, take away for tea then, you decide which” I said

  “Thanks Mum” she said, tucking into her food, which was a good sign.

  Reaching the studio I headed in and gave Mark a wave as he was filling in for Paul and would also be doing my Saturday show while I was away. I made us both a coffee and looked through the emails and found one from my secret admirer, this was a change from his normal texts.

  “Morning Stephanie can you play ‘I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder’ this morning and I hope you have a great weekend in London. From your secret admirer.” I read through it again and again. How did he know I would be in London this weekend? This guy seemed to know an awful lot of private things about me. I reached for my phone and quickly rang Jack.

  “Hi Jack” I said.

  “Hi Steph, how’s things?”

  “Fine but my secret admirer seems to know that I will be in London this weekend and I’m pretty sure I haven’t said anything on the radio about the dance competition” I replied.

  “Well, I’ve already told you I don’t know who he is” Jack replied.

  “Ok, I believe you” I replied.

  “Wish Charlotte luck for me” Jack finished.

  “Thanks Jack I will” I replied as we hung up.

  When Mark headed out of the studio I passed him a coffee.

  “Morning Mark” I said.

  “Morning Steph, you’re looking well, so who’s your secret admirer then?”

  “I have no idea and it’s really bugging me as he seems to know where I live and that I’m going to be in London for the weekend” I replied.

  “Oh that might be my fault as your daughter texted in and asked to give her group a good luck wish and play them a song” Mark replied “The email must have come in after that as she mentioned you were her Mum in the text” he finished. At least that helped to calm my nerves as I started my show and played the song he requested and followed it up with ‘Hello’ by Lionel Richie. I also played ‘Lucky Star by Madonna’ for my daughter and her group and asked all the listeners to keep their fingers crossed for their local college dance group. The afternoon passed really quickly and Charlie dropped me a text asking for Chinese for tea, so I called in on my way home and had everything ready when she walked through the door.

  After tea we headed for our respective room and started to pack our bags for the weekend. Sarah gave me a call and checked everything was all ok for the morning. We had a quick discussion about eating out on the Saturday night as Chris knew a good restaurant so I agreed to that. Suddenly Charlotte flew into my room, holding her phone tightly in her hand.

  “Mitch has booked us a ride on the London Eye, isn’t that exciting” she breathed.

  “That’s lovely Aunt Sarah just phoned to say that they would book us a meal in a restaurant I said to book it for five but if you guys want to be by yourselves I’ll understand” I finished.

  “Cool Mum, I can’t wait” she said, running back out of the room a huge smile on her face and all the worries from the morning gone.

  When we eventually finished packing we called it a night and headed to bed. In my room I glanced over at the diary that still lay on my bedside cabinet. I reached out for it and opened it once again at the first few pages and started to read. As I closed the last page I looked across at my clock and realised that it was already one in the morning. I got up and headed down to the kitchen for a glass of water and stood looking out over the garden, bathed in moonlight. All the memories flooded back through my mind as I felt like a sixteen year old again, sure but uncertain, brave but scared, in love but devastated. I hoped that Mitchell would not hurt my baby, sleeping soundly in her bed. I wished that James had never hurt me all those years ago, his words a poisoned chalice that I drank from, his promises shattered around me like my broken mirror on New Year’s Day.

  I crept into the lounge and put the stereo on and listened to all the songs that had made up my relationship, finishing with “Father Figure and Take my Breath Away” and I cried until no more tears would fall down my cheeks. Had my diary taught Charlotte that life was a cruel mistress, one that would crush dreams in her fist, as I thought again of the bitch that ruined my love? Then I slowly turned and walked back to my lonely empty bed, I took one of my tablets and sleep finally claimed me from my dark thoughts.

  In her room Charlotte slept fitfully, tossing and turning as her mind went over all the different steps, turns and lifts in the three routines. Then she was stood waiting for the music to start for her dance with Mitchell. She dreamed that as she stood there her Mum suddenly saw James across the auditorium and stood up. As she did Charlotte saw the piece of jagged glass in her hand and she drew it across her wrists once more. The blood was spraying the people all around her as she fell to the floor. Charlotte remained motionless on the stage as Mitchell walked towards her and they started to dance. The mayhem in the audience seemed to continue around them as they danced the perfect routine. Charlotte woke in a sweat and decided to head for the bathroom to top up her glass of water.

  On the landing she heard music coming from downstairs and she tiptoed quietly down the stairs and peered into the lounge. She saw her Mum sitting on the sofa, the diary in her hands as tears ran down her cheeks. Charlotte hesitated and wondered if she should go in and comfort her Mum. But something stopped her and she quietly headed back to her room. She reached for her phone and tapped out a quick text to Mitchell

  “Mitch I’m scared about tomorrow Charlie x” She lay there in the darkness as the image of her Mum’s tears haunted her.

  Her phone rang a few moments later as she lay back against her pillow.

  “Hi Baby, what’s wrong” he asked.

  “My Mum’s downstairs crying over the song that I’m dancing too tomorrow” Charlie replied, trying to choke back her own fears and nightmares.

  “I’m worried that it’s all going to go wrong tomorrow when she realises who your Dad is and then what happens if she tells me I can never see you again” she finished.

  “Hush, now, I’m sure it will be fine and if it’s not we’ll find a way through it” Mitch soothed, wishing he was there to hold her instead of miles away.

  “God, I hope so and at least my Aunt Sarah knows and she will be there too” Charlie finished and then yawned.

  “Try and get some sleep we’ve got a long two days in London” he said “And I need you to have some energy left after all the dancing” he finished.

  “Ok, night Mitch”

  “Night Charlie” and the phone went dead.

  Mitch got up and headed down to his kitchen for a drink and to ponder all the possible scenarios that Charlie had obviously been through in her mind. As he stepped through the door Jester walked over to him and offered his head, as if he wanted to help share the load. Grabbing a glass of water he headed through to his studio and quietly put some music on and started to dance as it always helped to clear his mind. When he finished he turned to find his Dad leaning in the doorway

  “Can’t sleep either” he said

  “No, guess it must be the nerves” Mitch replied

  “Yes, me too. I’m nervous for you guys dancing and I’m really nervous about meeting Stephanie again. Every time I think about her I panic and I won’t blame her if she blows me out I just need to explain everything and tell her the truth” James admitted.

  “Come on let’s just sleep on it” Mitch said, not wanting to take on his Dad’s problems as well as his own and Charlie’s. Why was life so complicated?

  Chapter 50

  As five thirty appeared on the alarm clock I pressed snooze for that extra ten minutes to fully wake up and then I headed for the shower before my daughter could get there. Standing under the warm water I wondered what this weekend would bring, I knew how big the prize mon
ey was for the winners and how beneficial it could be to the college and also Charlotte’s possible career in dancing. I had to admit to being a little nervous about meeting Mitchell’s family; after all this was the first parent of a boyfriend I had met and it normally meant that things were pretty serious between the two of them. I knocked Charlie’s bedroom door at around six and she soon emerged and headed for the shower while I made us some early breakfast.

  I watched as Charlie pushed her cereal around the bowl and then threw most of it away. I quickly grabbed some cereal bars and fruit from the cupboard and put them in my bag for the journey as I knew that she would need something before she started to dance. At ten to seven Sarah and Chris pulled up into the driveway and we were soon on the road. Charlotte handed over her CD for the music system and sitting next to me in the back of the car she closed her eyes and I guessed she was visualising her way through all of the routines in preparation. In between she was on her phone texting Julia and Mitchell in equal measure. I spent the time gazing out as the various different counties passed by the window and trying not to think of James every time the one song looped around again and took me back in time.

  We stopped at a service station and managed to get Charlie to eat something more substantial before we began to see the city of London crowding into the windows as traffic around us built up.

  “Shall we go straight to the venue and leave the hotel until later” I said, as I watched my daughter staring at her watch in anxiety.

  “Good idea, anyway they probably won’t let us in the rooms until later in the afternoon” Sarah replied, as Chris nodded and continued to navigate his way through the traffic and nearer the O2. Pulling into the parking area we were directed to a separate car park which I guessed was for the competitors. As we got out of the car I spotted Julia’s Mum pulling in a little way back and we hung back so that the girls could walk in together.

  While Charlie and Julia managed to locate their practice area and the rest of the girls Sarah spotted a coffee bar and we headed across for the wait until we could take our seats inside. There were twelve different groups competing for the title from all over the country and I guessed that just being here amongst the twelve was an honour. I looked at all the people headed through to the auditorium as I sipped my coffee and then looked at Sarah and Chris sitting in front of me.

  “You look as nervous as I feel” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

  “I’m glad I’m not dancing” Sarah replied, as I watched her look away and continue to scan the crowd. Chris remained quiet too and seemed to be doing the same thing. As we walked in to take our seats I looked at the programme and realised that Mitchell’s group was on first and then Charlotte was about half way through with their first dance. Then there would be a break for lunch at around one thirty before the second dances.

  Looking around at all the other people watching I saw a tall slim bloke with short blond hair taking his seat a few rows below us, next to an elderly couple who looked so familiar but I just couldn’t think why. Shaking my head I reached across and gave Sarah’s hand a squeeze as she smiled at me and the house lights went down and then I saw Mitchell and the guys walking onto the centre of the stage. Their first dance was to a Justin Timberlake track which I vaguely remembered Charlie playing a few times on her iPod. I was blown away at the way he moved and the group as a whole controlled the dance floor and took the audience with them through the tricky steps and turns, somersaults and incredible acrobatics. As the music faded the audience were immediately on their feet and I joined in but worried about how Charlie was feeling back stage.

  As the next few groups came and went some with great applause some not so great I waited with baited breath for my daughter to appear.

  “Charlotte’s next” Sarah whispered into my ear.

  “Yes I know, I feel sick” I replied.

  “She’ll be great, I just know it” Sarah replied as the start of Umbrella filled the hall and the backdrop on the stage depicted the falling rain as the group appeared on stage. I held my breath all the way through and at the end I knew from their faces they had been practically perfect. Another standing ovation occurred and I spotted Mitch standing just in the wings as they left the stage. By the time the tenth group were performing Charlie had appeared and found the spare seat next to us.

  “That was fantastic” I breathed “You were definitely the best group” I finished.

  “Stop it Mum, you’re just saying that” she said, smiling at the comment.

  “Mitch and his group were better” she continued.

  “So when do we get to meet his family then?” I asked. I couldn’t help but notice a strange look of panic cross her features and it seemed to be mirrored by Sarah next to me. What was going on?

  “I’ve spoken to Mitch as we’re going to meet after the final dance today in the foyer if that’s ok” she replied. We had bought some sandwiches so after a quick bite Charlie headed off again to change and get ready for their second dance of the day. I spotted her down at the front near the stage talking to Mitchell as they headed out into the corridor.

  “I’m just off to the ladies” I said to Sarah.

  “I’ll come too” she replied, as we left the hall at the back and headed towards the rest room.

  All the way Sarah seemed to be nervously checking all the people that were buzzing around. As we joined the queue the elderly lady I had spotted earlier passed by and seemed to start and then smile at me. Perhaps she thought she knew me too, perhaps it was one of the other girl’s grandparent who had maybe realised that I was on the local radio, and had seen me on the website or at some of the previous dance events.

  “Do you have any lipstick?” I asked Sarah, as we stood at the mirror “I think I packed all mine in my other bag”

  “Sure” she replied, handing me some light coloured gloss.

  “How do you think they’re doing?” I asked

  “Well, I would say it was close between them, Mitchell’s group and that mixed group from London” Sarah replied “But hey what do I know about dancing” she finished, linking her arm through mine as we headed back to our seats.

  The second half seemed to fly by even quicker than the first, I enjoyed Charlie’s bond theme dance to Skyfall and once again the crowd did too as the roof lifted to the sound of applause. I was secretly pleased to note that the London group were slightly out of sync with their music and I think they did as they filed silently off the stage. As the final two performed I turned to see Charlie and Mitch headed towards us, he slipped into the row of seats a bit further down and Charlie was soon next to me.

  “We nailed that one” she breathed, her face still flushed from her exertions on the stage.

  “It was fantastic, the best in this half” I replied “So what’s the plan for later?”

  “Well, once you’ve met Mitchell’s family our two groups are just going to have an hour’s practice for tomorrow as we decided it would be great for the girls in mine and the guy’s in Mitchell’s to be like the end of the scene in the movie and just join in from each side of the stage. We’ve checked with the organisers and they are going to let us do a couple of practises once the place is empty so I’m afraid you’ll have to hang around a bit before we go to the hotel” Charlie said.

  “That’s no problem” I replied as the last group took the stage “I’m sure we can have a chat with Mitchell’s family as we’ll all be waiting” I said, as I again noticed the worry flit across my daughters face, draining the colour away. The same look that was on the face of my best friend and Chris too.

  With the final group finished, the lights came back on and we started to move and stand up.

  “I’ll just go and get Mitchell” Charlotte said, as she headed through the crowds in the aisles. I stood up and stretched my legs and waited for the people to disperse until there were just a few groups still hanging around. I stepped into the aisle with Sarah and Chris behind me and saw Charlie and Mitch just ahead. Then as if in
slow motion the tall bond guy who I had spotted earlier stood up and turned around so that I could see him. My heart leapt in my chest as he smiled that all too familiar smile that I had never forgotten and he started to close the gap between us. I closed my eyes and then opened them again as my world started to spin and my legs began to buckle. The last thing I remembered was hearing the sounds around me begin to fade in my ears as the memories from twenty four years ago spilled over me like a waterfall as I fell.

  Eventually I came too and as I opened my eyes I found I was staring into the worried green gaze of my daughter. I tried to sit up but felt dizzy again and I fell back into the arms that cradled me. I couldn’t see who held me but as I blinked a couple more times and then sat up I saw Sarah, Chris, Charlie, Mitchell and of course the elderly couple who I now knew to be Pam and Peter, James’ parents. A couple of other people were stood to the side and looking at their attire I realised they were the stewards for the arena.

  “I’m ok” I said, quietly as I tried to move but the arms that held me against his firm body wouldn’t let go. I looked down at them, they were slightly wrinkled but the nails were clean and I knew they were connected to the only man I had ever loved completely. My mind tried to clear a path through the cords of my thoughts that linked today with the past, my past, James’ past, and a past that had somehow collided with the present.

  “Mum, are you ok?” Charlie finally said.

  I nodded in her direction as she reached over and I saw her take my hand in hers “You fainted” she finished.

  “I know” I replied as I wondered what I should say next but nothing was coming into my mind other than the questions ‘How?’ ‘Why?’

  One of the stewards stepped forward