The One That I Want

by Zuri Day

  “I beat you, I beat you!” the boy exclaimed.

  “You did!”

  Alex struggled to his knees, a slight frown racing across his face as he did so. Carol’s heart clenched. You’re trying to hide it, Alex, but that wound is still tender. She fought against rushing to his side. The child looked on, his expression a mixture of triumph and concern. Alex, head down, got to his knees. Then, without warning, he reached out, scooped up the child, and stood.

  “Thought you got me, huh? Huh?” He turned the once surprised, now giggling child upside down. “Now I’m going to get you!”

  Carol’s eyes went from a scene that was doing funny things to her heart to the mother looking on with blatant joy. And something else . . . adoration, desire. A pang of jealousy mixed with possessiveness flashed through her and she admitted how much she’d missed this man. Her comments had hurt him. His not returning her calls had hurt her. Something had to give.

  After lunch, the work continued. Carol finished helping to lay the slate floor in the reception room while Alex helped his roommate, Grant, and other men finish installing the kitchen. They’d shared the same space a couple times, had acknowledged each other with their eyes. Carol had been thankful for the work to distract her from a myriad of mixed feelings while Alex’s anger for Carol had lessened with each strike of a hammer, or cut of a saw. By the end of the day he’d chided himself for letting valuable days pass without their interacting, when he knew he’d be leaving Detroit very soon. He pulled out his phone and sent her a text: Can you give me a ride when this is over?

  The reply came quickly: Oh, you’re ready to talk to me now?

  Smiling, he replied: That is only one of several things I want to do with you and these lips. He wasn’t surprised when he received no answer, nor when Carol walked up to him later, and simply asked, “You ready to go?”

  Chapter 14

  They walked in a silence interrupted only by the snow crunching under their booted feet and the chirp as Carol unlocked her door by remote. She immediately started the car and turned on the heat.

  “Damn!” Alex shivered at the blast of cold air that assaulted him, this time from the car vents.

  “Sorry.” She turned off the fan. “Guess I need to wait until the car warms up.”

  “I’m not going to miss this cold, that’s for sure,” Alex said, rubbing his hands together as he looked at other volunteers spilling out of the community center and heading to their cars.

  “When are you leaving?”

  “I have one more doctor visit, and am hoping he’ll give me the all clear then.”

  “Am I taking you to your friend’s house?”

  “I was hoping to go to your house, so we can talk.”

  “Among the other things you want to do with your lips?” she asked with a shy, sideways glance.”

  “We can just talk, if that’s what you want.”

  Carol nodded, but said nothing as she reached over to turn the fan on low. Blessed warm air covered her hand. She cranked up the fan, put the car in drive, and eased away from the center.

  “How did you find out about the work back there?”

  “My roommate, Grant, told me about it. His girlfriend’s brother works construction.”

  “What’s her brother’s name?” Alex shrugged. “It doesn’t matter; just thought I might know him.” She made a right turn, glancing at Alex as she did so. “Thank you for helping.”

  “You’re welcome. It felt good, to be honest with you; doing something just for the goodness in it, helping somebody else. I’m going to start trying to do that more often . . . when I’m not on the road.”

  “Where are you heading when you leave here? Back to California?”

  “No, I’m going back to Philly to see my family. I decided not to tell my mom about the shooting, but you know how mothers are with that sixth sense and all. She’s called me more in the last two weeks than she has in the last three months. Neil says she’s questioned him, too. So I’m going to go let her see me for herself, so she’ll know I’m all right.”

  Silence filled the car as both grappled with thoughts and words that hadn’t been spoken but needed to be. Carol once again reached toward the dashboard, this time turning on the radio and letting the DJs at Hot 107.5 entertain them for the rest of the ride to her house.

  More silence as she pulled into her garage, and as they stomped off snow before pulling off their shoes just inside the short hallway that led from the garage into the kitchen. As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, however, Alex’s soft voice floated over Carol’s left shoulder.

  “Carol.” She turned around. “Can I have a hug?”

  She nodded and stepped into his embrace, softly, carefully, always mindful of the gauze wrapped around his abdomen.

  “It doesn’t hurt that much anymore,” he whispered, just above her ear, before squeezing her close. “I missed you.”

  She looked up at him. “I missed you, too.”

  Simultaneously, each went from looking at eyes to lips as their heads moved closer of their accord. The kiss was gentle, at first, a mere soft brushing of flesh against flesh. Quickly, it deepened, when Alex opened his mouth to cover Carol’s and she opened hers to receive his thick tongue. It was as though a dam of emotions had burst. Her arms went up and around his neck as Carol relished the feel of his mouth on hers, the urgency with which his hands rubbed over her shoulders, back, and rounded behind. Her nipples pebbled and need—raw and unapologetic—surged to her core. Carol was surprised, almost frightened at its intensity. She’d never considered herself as sex-crazed, had almost gone two years before Alex reopened that side of her. But ever since that night just two short weeks ago she’d longed for this man’s presence, had craved his touch.

  The feel of Alex’s hard sex against her stomach showed that he felt it, too.

  Instinctively, she went to her knees, shaky hands fumbling to undo his belt and clasp and let down his zipper. Once done, she reached inside smiley face boxers and pulled out the object of her desire.

  Wrapping her lips around its tip at once, she smiled at Alex’s sharp intake of breath, moaned as he gently rocked his hips and encouraged her actions. She licked, sucked, massaged, and squeezed until he was rock hard and she was soaking wet.

  “Baby,” he croaked, as she tickled his scrotum while sucking anew. She looked up to see his eyes hungrily taking in her actions, as hungrily as she took him in. Firm hands grabbed her shoulders as she grasped his thighs. “Stop,” he harshly commanded, before gently adding, “I want to do this right.”

  Wordlessly, they climbed the stairs and continued to the master suite. Ridding themselves of clothing happened in seconds, slowed only by Alex retrieving a condom from his wallet before tossing the jeans aside. She climbed on the bed. He sheathed himself and quickly followed, covering her with his body before demanding a kiss.

  “Your wound,” she breathed into his mouth.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he answered, before his tongue went on a search for the inside of her throat.

  She spread her legs and raised her hips. He positioned himself between them, rubbed himself against her opening, and then thrust himself inside her. Over again he rose and fell, pushed and plunged, meeting her frenzied grinding stroke for delicious stroke. It was as if he wanted to touch her very core, and as if she couldn’t wait for the connection. Silently, fervently, they mated, desperate for the singular connection that only lovemaking could provide.

  They loved, until a sheen of sweat broke out over their bodies, until the slapping sounds of flesh against flesh competed with that of their moans, groans, entreaties, commands.

  Loved, until the dusk of evening gave way to the darkness of nightfall; until short, rigorous pumping gave way to deep, languid strokes.

  Loved, until Alex forgot why he hadn’t called her and Carol forgot that she’d ever been mad.

  And once he’d wrung out one final orgasm, and she’d squeezed out the last drop of life’s seed, the
y cuddled into each other, spoon-style, and went to sleep.

  When they awakened, it was midnight.

  Alex stirred first. “You asleep?”

  Carol turned to face him, though she couldn’t see him in the darkness. “No.” Alex’s stomach growled. “You’re hungry.” It was not a question.

  “A little bit. If you’ll remember, when I arrived at your house, food was the last thing on my mind.”

  “I’ve got some chili that I made yesterday. You want some?”

  “That sounds good.”

  Carol threw back the covers. “I’ll be right back.”

  “We’re eating in here?”

  “Why not? It’s the favorite place to enjoy a late-night snack.”

  Less than ten minutes later, Carol came back up the stairs with a tray bearing two cans of soda, a sleeve of saltine crackers, a small bowl of grated cheese, a bottle of hot sauce, and two piping hot bowls of chili. She set it in the middle of her king-sized bed and then walked over to sit on the other side.

  “Um, smells delicious, babe. I thought you said you didn’t cook.”

  “Don’t get too excited. I make a decent pot of chili, a mean spaghetti, a nice garden salad, and a credible omelet. Beyond that, I’m the takeout queen.”

  Alex reached for the bowl handed to him and immediately took a bite. He nodded, chewing. “This is good.” Reaching for the bottle on the tray, he added, “How did you know I’d want hot sauce?”

  She smiled, crushing saltines into her bowl of goodness. “You like things hot.”

  They ate in silence. The moment felt right, comfortable, as though it wasn’t the first time they’d shared a casual bedtime snack. The warmth of the food seemed to thaw out the rest of what their lovemaking had not, the icy chill that had existed due to hurt, anger, and misunderstandings.

  After opening his soda and taking a drink, Alex said, “I’m sorry for not returning your calls.”

  “You were angry. I understand.” Carol placed down her bowl and reached for her can of soda. “In that last conversation, what I meant and what I said didn’t exactly meet up.”

  “Then why’d you say it?”

  Carol placed her bowl aside and turned to face him. “Uncle Frankie.”

  “Huh?”

  “My mother’s brother. He was caught with drugs and convicted of intent to sell. My uncle maintained his innocence, claiming he was just holding the drugs for someone else. Prison life changed him, something that has deeply affected my mother. They were very close before he went in but now . . . not so much.”

  “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but what does your uncle’s imprisonment have to do with what happened to me?”

  “It’s why I snapped at you that day, why I shared the perspective about the man who shot you. I’d just gotten off the phone with my mother who reminded me of why no one voluntarily cooperating with law enforcement should be trusted; that the goal is to get our men off the streets. It’s a skewed outlook, observed through her pain. I know firsthand that not all cops are bad, and not all men behind bars are good. The man who shot you shouldn’t have done it and deserves to go to prison for what he did.”

  Alex gazed at her a long moment. “Thank you.” And then, “There’s something I should probably tell you, too; why I was maybe a bit touchy that night myself.” At Carol’s raised brow he continued. “The word on the street is that some of his homies are looking for who ID’d the man who was arrested for shooting me.”

  “Oh, no, Alex. Is there any chance they’ll find out it’s you?”

  “Everything’s possible.” He shrugged. “I can’t worry about it. What I can do is get the hell out of here, which I’m going to do just as soon as the doctor gives the word.”

  They talked awhile longer. At his insistence, Alex took down and washed their late-night snack dishes. He returned to the bedroom where they agreed that the acrimonious air between them had been cleared and that they would focus on enjoying each other for the few days Alex remained in Detroit. They made slow, heartfelt love and enjoyed deep, peaceful sleep. The next morning she drove him to Grant’s house. They kissed good-bye. Walking away, he smiled and waved. She missed him before the car door closed and again noted that if she had it this bad, with plans to see him later that night, what would she do when he left the state?

  With a sigh Carol reached for her phone, deciding to drop by and see Brandi and her kids. Having Alex in her home made her realize how nice it felt to have someone else there, to not wake up alone. She wasn’t ready to go back to her casa without him.

  Chapter 15

  For the next five glorious days, Alex and Carol were together as much as possible; he even moved over to her place. During the day Carol met with the community center director, continuing to help flesh out activities that could benefit the entire city, not just the surrounding neighborhoods. Her idea for a weekly talent show was a hit, along with a bingo night for seniors and organized sports teams. The director’s satisfaction had been underscored when she asked if Carol would be interested in coming on full time. Carol had responded by agreeing to think about it. She felt such a position would allow her to employ all of her very best skills and give back to these aspiring neighborhoods in the process. She’d had some of the best years of her life traveling with superstar Gabriella as her personal assistant, but these few months she’d worked on rehabbing houses and developing the community center had given her a personal satisfaction that she hadn’t felt before.

  For Alex, the daytime hours couldn’t pass soon enough. This was the most downtime he’d had in the past three or four years; sitting around didn’t jive with his personality at all. Grant had weights, so after running a mile or two in the mornings, he’d added thirty minutes of upper strength training to his repertoire. Aside from a couple phone calls from the detective, searching for additional information regarding the club shooting, the incident that had happened on Christmas Eve was becoming a mere memory. His brother’s contact had not been able to gather any information regarding what Neil had told him about retribution; no leak within the department that would indicate that Alex’s cover had been blown. He’d talked to Marlon, who’d confirmed that a ten-show tour was scheduled for March with two weeks in Japan. One side of Alex couldn’t wait to get back on the road. The other side tried to think of how his life would be without Carol in it. It was the craziest thing, but he was having a hard time imagining it.

  In the evenings, it was all about enjoying each other. Tonight they were headed to the V Nightclub at the MGM Grand Detroit. The January weather was crisp, but the lovebirds were prepared. Alex wore black jeans, his bomber-style black leather jacket and a black and white twill sweater, a Christmas gift from Carol. She was looking fit and funky in red leather pants, a white silk shirt, Gucci red and black python booties, and a black faux mink short jacket. Carol was driving. Both were in a good mood. But it was Alex’s first time in a club atmosphere since “the incident” and Carol was worried.

  They dropped their car off with the hotel’s valet. “Are you ready for this?” she asked as Alex reached for her hand and they entered the lobby.

  “Ready to get my groove on? Absolutely, woman. I’ll dance you into the ground.”

  She gave him a side-eye. “You know what I mean.”

  He shrugged. “In March, I head out on a tour with the Prez. So I guess it’s about time that I get back into the mix. I can’t have any fear or trepidation and still be at the top of my game.”

  Carol nodded. She was very well aware of what Alex did for a living, but somehow she’d never focused on how truly dangerous his job could be. A bit naïve, considering what had happened with the fanatic who’d attacked Gabriella last year. Knowing Gab had given her so much: a wonderful friendship, comfortable bank account, and now, indirectly, a good man. There was one thing that had been bugging her, though; something she remembered from a past conversation. They’d talked about what happened. But the deeper her feelings ran for the man beside her, the m
ore she realized she needed to be assured that Alex didn’t still harbor an attraction for her best friend, or anyone else.

  But not now! Tonight was all about hanging out and having fun. Alex was leaving tomorrow, so all Carol wanted to do was enjoy being in the company of such a good man.

  They reached the club. The dance floor was packed and the music was pounding. The DJ was known for putting together stellar mixes that could keep you dancing through many songs. After paying the doorman a tip to get them a good table, Alex led Carol through the throng to the equally crowded bar. They ordered drinks and then turned to watch the revelers, kicking it up on a Friday night.

  “How do you like it?” Carol wasn’t much into clubs but knew that Alex liked the party life.

  “It’s all right.”

  Carol’s face showed her surprise. “Really? Just all right? I thought you’d love this atmosphere.”

  “I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I’ve grown accustomed to a more exclusive type of setting. You know how it is rolling with the stars.”

  Carol nodded. Indeed, she did know. After returning to Detroit, she’d been surprised at the initial discomfort felt in living an ordinary life. Never one to be caught up in the materialistic trappings of success, she’d nonetheless grown used to being pampered, to having every convenience at her fingertips, and to experiencing the best that life had to offer. She’d become accustomed without even knowing it, a fact that hit her the first time she’d gone to a store in the hood with her good friend, Brandi. The lack of cleanliness, smell of questionably safe meat, and paltry-looking vegetables was a real wakeup call to just how blessed she’d been. Living where she now resided was further proof. It was why she was so determined that the community center succeed. She wanted those less fortunate to have the chance to experience a sliver of the quality of life that for years had been her ordinary life.

  “Carol!”