The One That I Want

by Zuri Day

  “Oh, sorry, Alex. What did you say?”

  “I said our table is ready. Come on.”

  They reached a table for two located in a prime spot not far from the dance floor. As Alex had requested, it was also positioned in such a way for him to see the entrance from where he sat.

  “What was on your mind just now?” he asked, once they were seated. “You were a million miles away.”

  “I was thinking about life, and what you said about being accustomed to the good life. I’m happy where I’m at now, but I’m also very cognizant of the charmed life I’ve lived.” She looked beyond Alex into yesteryear. “Things could have turned out much differently.”

  He leaned forward, speaking so that she’d hear despite the loud music. “Later, you’ll have to tell me what that statement means. But for now, it’s time to shake that sexy behind.”

  They hit the floor and worked up a sweat. One hour became two and still they enjoyed a good time. Around midnight, however, there was a shift in the atmosphere. Carol noticed it at once.

  “What is it?” she asked without turning around, when Alex stopped talking mid-sentence.

  “Don’t look now, but it’s time to go.”

  “Is it him?” Just last night and for her own safety, Alex had told her the name of the man who shot him. Though she didn’t know him, she’d been nervous ever since.

  “No, but it looks like trouble nonetheless.” Alex pulled out several bills to cover the cost of their drinks. “I’m hungry anyway. Let’s go get something to eat.”

  A short time later they were seated in the backroom of Wolfgang Puck Steak, also located at the MGM Grand. They were promptly given menus and had their drink orders taken.

  Carol placed hers to the side, unopened. “Did you recognize them?”

  Alex knew she was talking about the group of four men who’d caused Alex to lose the mood for dancing.

  “No, but I think one of them looked familiar. I think he was at the club that night.” He picked up the menu, a sign that he didn’t want to continue this line of conversation.

  “Do you think he recognized you?” Carol pointedly ignored his cue. “I mean, they were staring at us rather intently as we left.”

  “If you’d taken a look in the mirror you’d know that it wasn’t me they were looking at.”

  “Nice try to change the subject, Alex. But seriously, I’m concerned about you and what all of this could mean to your safety.”

  “I’ve warned you about making those kinds of statements. A brother like me might get the feeling that you really care about him.”

  “A brother would be right in feeling that,” she replied, finally picking up her menu. “I don’t want anything bad going down, anything negative happening to you. Especially not in my own hometown.”

  Shortly afterward their conversation drifted to what they’d order—salad and steak for both, with a huge baker for Alex and rice pilaf for Carol—before other topics mutually enjoyed such as music, sports, and travel. With each passing moment, Carol was more and more aware of how much she’d miss Alex’s company. On the other hand, a little loneliness was a small price to pay if leaving Detroit and all that had happened here would keep him safe.

  Chapter 16

  Alex loved his family, but a little time with his nosey mother went a long way. Which is why when he saw Carol’s number on the caller ID, a woman he missed more than he thought possible after only two days apart, he jumped at the chance to escape her probing talk.

  “Sorry, but I’ve got to take this, Mom.” He hurried out of her living room and closed the guest bedroom door. “Baby, you must have eyes that reach from there to Philly. Thanks for rescuing me from my meddlesome mom.”

  “What is she doing?” Carol asked amid laughter.

  “The usual. Trying to run my life.”

  “Hum, sounds interesting. What’s her advice?”

  “You already know.”

  “Probably, but humor me anyway.”

  “You know . . . that I should stop all this traveling and living so far away from home, that I should settle down, give her some grandchildren, yada, yada, yada.”

  “I thought your brother, Neil, was married.”

  “He is!”

  “Don’t they have children?”

  “His wife just had a baby! Seems like all that did was make my mother want more!” They shared another laugh. “You might not know what I’m talking about. I don’t know if mothers nag daughters as hard as sons.”

  “I don’t know. Mom sends mixed signals. Sometimes I think she’s proud of all I’ve accomplished and sometimes I think she’s envious that I’m not strapped with three kids the way she was by the time she was my age.”

  Silence, as both absorbed this statement. “Does this have anything to do with what you said the other night at the club? Something about life turning out differently if you hadn’t hooked up with Gabriella?”

  “My childhood was interesting, and confusing,” Carol offered at last. “My dad lived with us until I was eight, then left without telling me good-bye. Mom never offered an explanation beyond ‘he’s gone, stop asking questions.’ Visits were sporadic after that.” Alex remained silent, until she continued. “A short time later my mom met my step-father, Rick. He’s my brother’s father; a good enough man. But he wasn’t my dad.

  “I loved my father, didn’t even know until he left how much I was a daddy’s girl. It was hard for me sometimes, helping my older sister handle more responsibilities when my mom found love again. For a while, things were hard financially. Sometimes we lacked money for anything but the basics. When I got the opportunity to sing with Haute Couture, I jumped at the chance. Did I want to be a star? Sure, what child doesn’t think that such would be the life? But really, I was more trying to escape an uncomfortable situation at home.”

  “Are he and your mother still married?”

  “No, they divorced a long time ago. My mom hasn’t had the best track record with relationships, which is probably why she doesn’t hold much hope for her children finding ones that last.”

  Alex was quiet as he digested this news. He’d had the nurturing experience of growing up in a loving, supportive, two-parent family. His father was his hero; his mom, the first woman he ever loved. He and his brother, Neil, were best friends. Displays of affection were common, and the entire family enjoyed dinner together most nights; homemade meals that their full-time working, Crock-Pot–using mother, lovingly prepared. Belatedly, he realized that living the high life isn’t the only thing that he’d taken for granted.

  Carol spoke into the silence. “Now, I have a question for you.”

  Alex had retreated to the guest room and now lay on the bed. He stretched out, his body growing hard while imagining Carol’s soft booty. He adjusted himself and shifted his attention to what she was saying. “What’s that?”

  “When is the last time you were in a relationship?”

  “It’s been a while.”

  “What’s a while?”

  “The last one ended a couple years ago.”

  “How long had it lasted?”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  “Is there some reason I shouldn’t know?”

  “I have nothing to hide, but there are some things I’d rather not remember. My ex is one of them.”

  “I guess I can understand that.”

  A brief silence and then, “We’d dated off and on since high school, would break up and then get back together. For two years before the breakup, though, things got more serious. We even talked marriage. Then I went on the road and everything changed.”

  “How?”

  “She started seeing someone else, then lied about it for months. That was my last sad love song.”

  “Until you fell for Gabriella, who then married Troy.”

  “That was neither sad nor a love song, just an innocent crush.”

  “Hm.”

  “I need to say this, Carol, and I need you to hear me
good. With Gabriella, I was attracted to an image, infatuated with someone who is larger than life. With you, I’ve come to know the real thing, the person. And regarding who I’d rather be with, you win hands down.”

  He heard a relieved sigh as Carol processed this brave revelation, both of how he’d felt about Gabriella then, and how he felt about her right now. “I guess I needed to hear that more than you know,” she finally admitted. “Gab is my girl, my best friend and my sister. I’ve never been jealous of her; never wanted to snag the spotlight that she claims has her due. I never even felt that I played second fiddle; probably because men bypassed us and clamored for her attention. That’s how it has always been with us from the time I was ten years old. So . . . thank you for saying what you did.”

  “I meant every word.”

  “I know. That’s why it means so much.” A moment and then, “You know what? You were only here in Detroit a few weeks. I really shouldn’t miss you this much.”

  “So you admit that you’re missing me.”

  “Definitely.”

  “Good, because I miss you, too.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  “It’s been awhile since I’ve been in a committed relationship. Being on the road as much as I am, it makes monogamy difficult.”

  “What exactly are you saying, Mr. Worthington?”

  “For starters, I’m saying you’re the kind of woman who will make a man change his ways.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I don’t know how to describe it other than saying that you make me feel good, Carol. And when I think about not being with you or your being with some other dude . . . it doesn’t feel good at all.”

  “Why not?”

  “Somebody else rubbing their hands all over that soft body, appreciating what I believe is mine? Let’s just say I’d take another bullet from anybody who’d try and get between us. You’re special to me, sexy Carol. I hope that by now you don’t doubt that for a minute.”

  “I’m beginning to believe you.” He heard her change positions, could tell by the rustling of material that she, too, must now be lying down. “So, how’s your brother doing? How’s the family?”

  “Everyone is fine.”

  “Have you heard anything else about the case?”

  “They’re still holding the guy they arrested on outstanding warrants and they’ve arrested one other guy who they believe played a role in the shootings. Have you heard anything on the streets?”

  “No, but I haven’t hung out much since you left.”

  “Miss me that much, do you?”

  “Please. Don’t get big-headed. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the center. We’re trying to get everything wrapped up before the opening next month.”

  “When is that again?”

  “February seventh. Do you think there is any way you could make it back here for that? I’d love for you to be a part of it.”

  “There’s quite a bit of business I need to wrap up before heading out on the tour in March, but I can try.”

  “Okay. Let me know as soon as you can.”

  “Why? So you can get my replacement if I don’t show?”

  “Exactly!”

  “Ha! At least you’re honest.”

  “Life’s too short not to be. So if you don’t want anybody else rubbing on your booty, you’d better get your butt back to the Dirty D.”

  Chapter 17

  “Hey, girl!” Carol had just been thinking about Gabriella and wasn’t at all surprised when her phone rang with her best friend on the other end. It had been this way with them for over a decade. “You know I was just thinking about you.”

  “That’s why I called.”

  “Ha!” Carol went into the room that was now her office at the community center and closed the door. “We received your incredibly generous donation at the center last week. Gabriella, I can’t even begin to thank you for helping us out like that.”

  “It was my pleasure, Carol. One day in the future, I’d like to do a toned-down, perhaps acoustic concert there, too. As a future fund-raiser.”

  “Jeremy will be thrilled! Can I share this?”

  “Absolutely. When is the opening again?”

  Carol told her. “Can you come?”

  “No, I’m not going to be able to make an appearance until next year.”

  “I thought so. What else is up, chick?”

  “This and that. But you first. How are you and Alex?”

  “We’re good. He’s back in his hometown of Philly right now; spending time with his family and handling some personal business before he goes back out on the road with Marlon.”

  “How do you feel about him leaving?”

  “How do you think I feel? I don’t like it at all!”

  “Did you tell him that?”

  “He knows that the reason I left the road was to have a more settled, established life. And I know that he feels most alive when he’s working someone’s tour. It is what it is.”

  “So what does that mean in terms of your having a relationship with him?”

  “I guess we’re still trying to figure that out. We’re taking it one day at a time and enjoying the journey.”

  “That sounds good. Is Alex going to be there for the community center opening?”

  “He’s going to try and make it. It means a lot to me, and he knows that.”

  “Then I imagine he’ll be there. It sounds like you’re doing more than enjoying him, Carol. You sound like a woman headed for love.”

  “I don’t know about all that. Love is a big word.” Silence. “So, what’s going on with you?”

  “I’ll tell you, but don’t think that I don’t know why you’re changing the subject. You’re afraid. You’ve been this way ever since your parents broke up and you lost the daily presence of your dad in your life. Afraid to let go, afraid to love, afraid to be hurt. I know because not too long ago that was me feeling the same way. But let me tell you something, girl. Finding true love is worth it. Worth all the fear and even worth the hurt, if it comes to that. If you’re feeling Alex the way I believe you’re feeling him? Let down the wall around your heart, Carol. It’s the only way his love can come in.”

  “Thank you, Iyanla.” Carol said sarcastically, but both Carol and Gabriella knew that truth had been spoken. “How does it feel to be off the road? Keeping busy enough to not get bored?”

  “For the first time in my life, I’m really loving it, Carol. Troy is too. He’s able to be more hands-on at his company and training new employees. I’m working on the new album, as you know, but filming the movie has been put on temporary hold.”

  “Oh, no! I’m sorry, Gab. You’ve been so looking forward to your acting debut.”

  “It’s okay. There’s a very good reason for the delay.”

  “What?”

  “Hmm, how can I say this? You’ll be able to hold the reason in about seven months.”

  “What?!” Carol’s voice had raised two octaves. “Quit playing!”

  “I’m not playing!”

  “You’re pregnant?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Eight weeks along.”

  “Two months. That means you were pregnant when Alex and I were there over Christmas.”

  “Yes, but we didn’t know it then. I’ve had no morning sickness, actually no pregnancy symptoms at all.”

  “So how did you find out?”

  “I missed a second period. Hadn’t thought much when I missed the first one because being stressed has caused that from time to time. But when Miss Flo didn’t show up last month I bought an in-home pregnancy test. It came back positive. So I bought another one. That one came back positive, too.” Carol laughed. “After that I decided to go to the doctor’s. They made it official. You’re about to be a godmother!”

  “Really? I’m so excited! I would be happy just being an auntie.”

  “Oh, you’ll be that, too. Just get ready to babysit because three months after dropping this angel we’ll start sho
oting.”

  “The movie?”

  “Yep.”

  “Are you sure that’s enough time, Gab? You’re in shape and all, but you don’t know how much weight you’ll gain or how easy it will be to lose?”

  “The studio has already agreed to pay my personal trainer double his rate to whip me in shape.”

  “Wow, this is crazy! Are you really ready to be a mother? Oh, and wait? What about Gary? Have you told your parents yet?”

  “No, we’re still trying to get over the surprise. This was just confirmed by the doctor last week. I’ve been on the pill, but these past three, four months admit to getting sloppy. One time, when Troy and I took a quick trip to New York, I forgot to pack them all together. Still, getting pregnant was the furthest from my mind. I still haven’t wrapped my mind around it. Besides Troy, of course, you’re the first person I’ve told.”

  “Well, I’m happy for you, Gabriella. Really, I’m thrilled! And after they get over the shock, I’m sure your parents will be, too.”

  “You know . . . this would be a perfect time for you to think about having a baby.”

  “Oh, hell no!”

  “Come on now, Carol. Don’t you remember how we said we’d get pregnant at the same time, and have our children grow up together . . . like cousins?”

  “Girl, please. We said that mess when we were twelve, thirteen years old.”

  “But if I remember correctly, we made a pinkie promise. I’m not trying to sit here and get fat all by myself. I’m going to hold you to it!”

  The besties continued to talk for over an hour. They laughed and shared and reminisced. During it all, totally unconsciously and unsuspected, the ice around Carol’s heart began to melt just enough for love to slip through.

  Unbeknownst to the women, an eerily similar conversation was taking place on the other side of the country.

  “It’s nice to see you happy, man.”

  Neil and Alex were in Neil’s man cave, talking smack over a friendly game of dominoes.

  “You know how we do it,” Alex casually replied as he studied his bones. “Try and not let anything get us down.”

  “Even a gunshot?”

  Alex looked up and met Neil’s eye. “Especially a gunshot.”