Princess: Nuance Of Love Book 1

by Evida Suntoyo

  Ali realized that he’s not going to succeed in calming Dewi, or will he have any luck reasoning with her. She’s still hurt and sad, just as he is.

  “Dewi, I think I should go home now, you need to take a rest, and we will talk again once you’ve calmed down.” He said this while standing up and walking out.

  “Abang, don’t go. I don’t want you to go. Are you going to her?” Dewi screamed at his back.

  Ali quickly went out, entered his car and drove home. He stopped his car on the side of the road and hit the steering wheel with his fist. “Why is this happening to me?” He thought to himself. After feeling himself calmed, he continued to drive home.

  * * *

  When he arrived, he went directly to his room without greeting anybody, and locked his door behind him. The last thing he wanted was to argue with anybody, like what happened last night.

  He washed his face in the bathroom. Then walked back to his room, and threw himself on his bed without bothering to take off his shoes. It felt like there was a big block of wood on his chest. He closed his eyes trying to sleep, but all the thoughts burdening his mind wouldn’t let him. He needed to talk to somebody, but he didn’t feel that he can confide in his family at this moment. That made him sad, because all his life they always had been by his side, supporting him through thick and thin.

  He reached into his pocket, the cell phone number that Paramita gave him. Maybe he can talk to her, at the end of the day, she’s stuck in this same situation as he is.

  Without bothering to lift himself up, he reached for the cordless phone on his side table. He dialed the number written on the piece of paper, he heard a dial tone. It rang for several minutes before he heard a woman’s voice answering.

  “Hello….”She said it was Paramita

  He hesitated for a minute and couldn’t bring himself to speak.

  “Hello….” She said again

  “Mita. Hi, it’s me...”

  “Bang Ali? Hello, what’s wrong with your voice? Are you okay?”

  “Um, I got back from talking to Dewi.”

  “Oh, and how did she take it?”

  “Not well, I’m afraid. She was heartbroken, sad, and angry.”

  “I can imagine. What woman wouldn’t be after hearing that her boyfriend is going to marry someone else? You need to give her some space to calm down and re-capacitate.”

  “It hurts me so much to see her like that. I spent the last three years dedicating my life to make her happy, and today I had to give her this news, and see her break down in front of me. I couldn’t even hold her and comfort her because, I know that I’m the person who’s causing this. And how can I ask her to forgive me, if I’m going to leave her anyway.”

  “Abang, why didn’t you tell her that we’re not going to really get married, tell her that it's a sham, so you and her can get back together afterward? Didn’t you say it yourself the other day that the two of you couldn’t plan marriage because of her career? Just tell her that it’s only a few months delay if any at all. If you are willing to wait for her to resolve her career, I don’t see why she can’t wait for you to resolve your personal problem.”

  “It’s not that simple, if I tell her, it might lessen her pain, but we won’t know if everything will go the way we want it to go, what happens if in the future something comes up that won’t allow us to divorce? Also I don’t want to keep her hoping for me to come back, maybe it’s better for her to forget me, and move on with her life.”

  “Ah…the perils of love. You see that’s why I decided long ago, that I’m never going to fall in love. Nope, love is not for me. I actually want to be happy.”

  “Ah, so your bitter unrequited love has left you traumatized, hah?”

  “Well, not only that, look what happened to my parents, I mean they had their level of suffering. I suffered and cried a lot, when I loved in the past. And don’t tell me, that now is the only time you felt miserable because of your relationship.”

  “I have, I won’t deny that, but never at this magnitude.”

  “Let me tell you, Bang. And this is something I learned all by myself with the things I’ve been through in life. No matter how painful, hurt or depressed you feel right now, tomorrow is going to be another day. Happiness, sadness, pain, and pleasure, they are all a passing phase. Rather than feel burdened by the unfortunate events that happened today, why not look forward to the opportunities that will come tomorrow. Especially when you’re in a situation that’s out of your hands like this. It won’t do you any good to feel depressed.”

  “You know, you’re quite mature and deep for a kid.” He said his voice sounded more upbeat than before.

  “Well, thank you.”

  “So the press release is tomorrow, which means that we will be officially be engaged to each other.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Then there’s all the preparation for the wedding.”

  “On my part, I have to leave it to Permaisuri Farida, whatever she wants, it’s not really my wedding per say.”

  “You should show some interest, otherwise people will think it’s strange that you’re not happy or excited.”

  “Oh yeah, I can do happy and excited, I could even go so far as thanking Ayahnda for making me marry you, the most handsome and fantastic man in Jothar.”

  “Ha…ha…ha…Hearing it from you it doesn’t feel like a compliment.”

  “You’re right, the lucky one is you. Because, I’m young, beautiful, intelligent, noble-hearted, and kind, daughter of the reigning monarch, plus you get additional career enhancing benefits by marrying me. You must have done something really important in your past life to deserve a reward in this.”

  “First of all, our religion does not believe in reincarnation.”

  “It was a figure of speech.”

  “Second, young, beautiful and intelligent, you definitely are. Noble hearted and kind? Maybe a little. You forgot to add, hot-headed, have an overactive imagination, and crafty.”

  “What? You already know me that well in two days?”

  “I’d like to get to know you more.”

  “We have time for that.”

  “Oh well, it’s getting late. Thank you for talking to me, I feel better now.”

  “Of course. I see us as partners in peril. So you can count on me for anything." She said jokingly.

  “Partners in peril? That’s a good one. Good night, Mita, sleep well.”

  “You too, Bang”

  Paramita pressed the red button to end the call, and put the heavy hand phone down, she got up from her desk, walked to her bed, and laid down.

  “He’s not such a bad person.” She thought.

  She felt bad about coming in between Ali and Dewi. They seemed very much in love. But there was nothing she could do. Paramita never wanted to be with him, she was a victim of the situation too. It’s not like she purposely seduced him to snatch him away from Dewi. If she had the power to choose over her own life, she wouldn’t be here. She would probably have an internship in a construction company in Dubai by now.

  “Well, Romeo and Juliet will have to sort out their own problems. I have my own to worry about.” She said to herself, she’s no superhero to be trying to help other people, or solve their problems for them. She had to keep steady and focus on her own goal. Besides, it’s not like she didn’t offer Ali any solutions.

  She yawned feeling her eyes getting heavy. That night her dreams were plagued by images of Raden Burhanuddin Ali.

  Chapter Eleven

  The banquet hall was decorated with flowers and coconut leave in the traditional way. There was the stage and on the stage, were six seats. Arranged in a circular position with a small marble table in the center. On the four seats, the parents of the bride and groom to be, are sitting. Sultan Abdul Kadir sitting on the largest of all six, to his left is his queen Permaisuri Farida, on his right side, was Raden Hamza and his wife.

  The sounds of men and women chatting filled the air in th
e palace banquet hall, their voices were happy and cheerful. The women were dressed in formal gowns and beautifully sewn Baju Kurung. Jewelry adorned their ears, neck wrists, and fingers. And the men dressed in their best formal wear.

  Paramita stood in the corner alone trying to stay out of sight, the peminangan ceremony is the equivalent to an engagement party. She knew that this is all a ceremonial procedure, because ever since the press release last week, practically the whole country know that she was going to be married to Ali. But it didn’t matter to her, because she thought that she would get the chance to eat new foods that she never ate, was interesting enough for her. That’s why she loved the parties and gatherings in the palace. They mostly serve delicious traditional cooking for the daily meals, but parties have a variety of cakes and special cooking that she doesn’t see in her daily meals. Apparently she was wrong. Since she’s the protagonist of the party, she had to spend the whole day standing beside Ali, smiling and thanking random people for their best wishes, people who according him, are their extended family, she and Ali are actually third cousins, after all.

  She also was feeling uncomfortable wearing the tight-fitting Kebaya, it was making it difficult for her to breathe let alone move. She peeped down at the three stone diamond engagement ring on her finger. “Well, at least there’s a slight payoff.” She thought to herself.

  Suddenly she felt a tap on her left shoulder. “Here, try some of these.” It was Ali handing her a small fork while holding up a plate of bit size traditional sweets.

  “Thank you, I thought I was going to faint from hunger, or suffocation from this tight belt they tied around my waist or both, I don’t really know.” She replied while putting one in her mouth, she could taste the sweet, starchy goodness.

  “I bet it’s the first one, I saw how you were staring at the refreshment table.” Ali smiled, “Try this, this is one of my favorites, it’s made of sticky rice flour rolled into small balls, but before that it’s filled with palm sugar, poached, and served topped with grated coconuts.”

  “Wow, I’m impressed, you know your way around the kitchen.”

  “When I was living in the states, I liked to volunteer in cultural events, most events that took place on weekends, have to do with gastronomical festivals, so I had to be prepared to answer any cooking questions.”

  “Ah, so you are a theoretical cooking expert.” She said while pointing at him.

  “Is that even a real word? But not really, I love to cook also, I didn’t live in a dorm, you see. I rented a small one bedroom, so I had to learn to cook for myself.” He explained.

  A lady came up to them while smiling, “Oh, what a beautiful couple, you both look good together, such a well-suited couple, the groom is handsome, distinguished, intelligent and gallant, and the bride, so beautiful.”

  “Thank you, Auntie Sri.” Replied Ali, “Mita, this is Auntie Sri, she is the sister-in-law of my mother Raden Nabilla.”

  “How do you do, Auntie?” Paramita shook her hand and smiled cordially.

  “Well, it was nice to greet the two of you, I’m going to find your mother, and I will talk to you later.” She said then disappeared into the crowd.

  “So why is it that you’re all; handsome, distinguished, intelligent and gallant. While I’m only beautiful? How is that a well-suited couple?” Paramita said jokingly, once she was sure that the older lady was out of sight.

  “You're right.” Ali responded, “She should have said, “The groom is handsome, and the bride is beautiful, the groom is distinguished and the bride is beautiful, the groom is intelligent and the bride is beautiful, and he’s such a gallant and she’s so beautiful.” Like that, right?”

  “You’re so full of yourself.” She laughed.

  “Let’s go and get something to drink,” He said while leading her to a table filled with all types of fruit juices and soft drinks. Seeing that she had trouble walking in her tight long skirt and high heel sandals, he put his hand on her back to help her balance herself.

  She looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you!” she said, understanding his good intentions.

  “My big brother and my sister-in-law to be, you both look very happy together.” A voice behind them said. Paramita felt her heart thump at the sound of it. Both she and Ali turned around almost at once.

  “Hafiz, how are you?” She asked him, “Long time no see.”

  “I’m doing fine. I see that you are too.” He answered.

  “Yes, I am.”

  Hafiz looked at his brother for a few seconds, he said, “Excuse me. I’m going to greet some of our relatives that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

  After Hafiz had left, Ali asked her, “So now that we’re officially engaged, you can tell me why you punched Hafiz, back at the UK. And don’t think that this is talking bad about him behind his back, but consider me as your fiancée and I do have the right to know everything about you.”

  Paramita looked at him for a few minutes, she was hesitating, but decided to come out clean. “He made my best friend pregnant.”

  Ali was surprised to hear this, “Wh…what? I….I, do I have a niece or nephew somewhere out there?”

  “No, no you don’t. My friend Laila, she had an abortion, I was with her when she had the procedure. It was horrible, for both the fetus and the mother.” Her voice softened, she was trying not to cry.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Answered Ali, “That’s….I’m so sorry…….how could he….uhm why didn't he go with her, to get the abortion, I mean, why did you have to go with her?”

  Paramita took a deep breath, “It’s a long story, and I don’t think this is the right place or time to be talking about it.”

  “You’re right, it’s not.” Ali agreed. “Here, drink this orange juice.” He brought the glass to his mouth and drank it nervously.

  “I thought that drink was supposed to be for me! Your hands are shaking.” She said to him.

  “I know, I’m a bit shocked by this.” He was silent for a while. “Umm…., so the unrequited love that you had, was for my brother?”

  “Ummm….yeah, it was.” She replied.

  “Oh.” He hesitated, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

  “No, I don’t. Well, I won’t lie to you, my heart did thump a little when heard his voice a few minutes ago, but I don’t lose sleep over him, or miss him, or anything like that.”

  He took her hand, “I don’t know what happened between my brother, your friend and you, I gather that there is some history there and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but on behalf of my brother I do apologize to you. And I want you to know, no matter what happens between us because of this marriage arrangement, you have a true friend in me, and you can tell me anything, and count on me for anything.”

  “Thank you, I’ll remember that.” Looking into his eyes, he seemed sincere to her.

  Suddenly there was a flash, followed by the sound of people clapping hands and cheering. Paramita turned looked up to see that a photographer had taken a picture of them holding hands and the group of people around them were clapping their hands while cheering at them. In the background, the elders were looking their way and smiling.

  “My goodness, I don’t want to even imagine what they’re thinking.” She whispered, pulling her hand away and feeling embarrassed.

  Ali smiled and waved his hand to them. “They probably think that you’re the luckiest woman on the face of the earth.”

  “You’re modesty never seizes to amaze me.” She said while pinching his arm playfully. “Hey, by the way, how did it go between you and Dewi, have you talked to her again?”

  “No.” He said with a sad tone, “I tried to call her, but according to her manager, she’s been busy starting her promotional activities for her new album.”

  “Well, there’s a positive side to it. At least she has something to keep her mind off the situation.” She answered full of sympathy. “I’m sure you guys can work it out.”

  �
�Okay, it’s time to get back to our duty and greet the rest of the family.” Ali changed the subject, not wanting to stress himself at that moment over his love life.

  “Oh, do I have to?” She sulked.

  “Don’t be such a baby, put on a smile! Come on, this way” He said while gently pushing her on the back.

  He led her to where their parents were sitting, they were smiling happily with the guests as they were congratulated on their children’s engagement.

  Sultan Abdul Kadir smiled at them, “I’m glad that the two of you are getting along well,” he said. “Ali, I want you to start learning and understanding state matters. Next week, report to the palace, so we can assign your tasks. I will have my office contact Karya Bhumi to inform them, that you will be reassigned.”

  “I understand, Royal Uncle.” Ali responded

  “From now on you have to call me father.” The Sultan said with a friendly smile.

  “Yes, father.” He answered.

  “Ananda Mita,” The Sultan said while turning to his daughter.

  “Yes, Ayahnda.” She replied.

  “I hope that you comply with your responsibilities, as the future wife of a government official, make sure you behave yourself accordingly, and please, don’t embarrass your future husband by not showing up to events and functions.”

  “I understand, Ayahnda.” Paramita’s face turning red.

  “Oh, and make sure your fiancée agrees on what you’ll use the money that you asked me for your wedding gift. It’s important that between husband and wife, both sides are always transparent regarding money matters. This is important to create a Sakinah family.”

  Ali gazed at Paramita through the corner of his eyes, then smiled knowingly.

  “Your Father is right, Ananda Puteri. A wife’s duty is to obey and honor her husband. A wife should always be ready to sincerely sacrifice herself for her husband and tolerate her husband. But also she must be wise, supporting and loving, because whenever she sees her husband turning to the wrong path, she should never be afraid to show him the right way. Remember that you will be the mother of Raden Ali’s children, you will be responsible for making sure that they become future leaders for the country and for the religion.” Added Permaisuri Farida, “There is nothing more valuable for a man than a Salihah wife, a wife that is pious and faithful.”