Swing Batter Swing

by Zaida Polanco

  Marty sighed heavily and plopped down on his futon, patting the space next to her. Confused and slightly aroused, Alex sat down.

  “Alright, look,” Marty said, forcing herself to hold his gaze, “you’re a great guy, charming, funny, sexy—”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re breaking up with me?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, there’s nothing to break up. I’m just telling you to save the next girl from a disappointing night.”

  Alex’s face turned grim.

  “Oof, alright, what’s the damage? Do I make weird faces? Did I ask you to call me ‘daddy’? Cause I gotta be honest, I was so into it I don’t even know half the shit I said or did. I essentially blacked out. You were amazing.”

  Marty rolled her eyes, trying not to show any emotion at his slightly objectifying statement.

  “Okay well, no, you did not ask me to call you daddy, though that may have been hot. Anyway that’s not the point. The point is, you can’t just go straight for a girl’s hole without priming the pump first, you feel me?” She waved vaguely toward the bed. “That was only enjoyable for one of us. The inside of my vagina feels like I just put a super absorbent cardboard applicator tampon in even though I wasn’t on my period.”

  Alex looked very confused by this whole thing. “I’m...sorry?”

  “It’s fine, I just wanted to let you know. Next time, use your hands, your tongue, give her a little foreplay.”

  “Her?”

  Marty shrugged, seeing this as her cue to leave.

  “Whoever the next girl is.”

  Alex stood up, trying one last time to get her to stay.

  “I’m sorry it was bad for you. I got super carried away. You’re just so fucking hot. Let me make it up to you?”

  Marty shook her head and got up. She gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

  “You’re not a bad guy, Alex. But I’m tired from work, and I have a date with my vibrator.”

  Alex groaned in frustrated pleasure as he obviously imagined Marty taking care of herself when she got home. He reluctantly walked her to the door.

  “Have a good night, Marty.”

  “See ya around, Alex.”

  And with that, Marty hurried home and into the arms (um... the batteries) of her trusty little Lelo knockoff she had gotten from Amazon after her last breakup.

  It was small, sleek, and purple, but there was no doubt about it, it was powerful and could get her off in two minutes flat. Thank god for online shopping.

  Chapter 17: Jay

  Jay didn’t really need the five-million-dollar commission, did he? He had enough money saved up for even his great-grandchildren to live comfortably off of. Everything else he earned was icing on top. He could afford to lose it. Hell, he would lose it if it meant cutting ties with the obnoxious fuck who was currently occupying space on Marty’s desk.

  That obnoxious fuck was Noah Cabrera, the rookie darling of the MLB and one of most lucrative clients on Jay’s roster. Sure, Noah was talented. And sure, Noah was an advertiser’s dream, raking in endorsements left and right due to his charming ‘boy-next-door with a naughty streak’ persona. On top of all of that, Jay was pretty positive Noah was actually a genuinely nice guy.

  None of these attributes made Jay want to punch Noah any less. Jay watched angrily through his open office door as Noah said something to Marty under his breath that made her giggle. Yes, giggle. Jay was furious. He had never seen Marty like this and it enraged him to know that some other guy was making her fall apart. At work, for crying out loud.

  Over the month and a half Marty had been on his desk, Jay estimated that she had attracted no fewer than 10 new suitors.

  A few were other assistants on the floor, bro-y guys who would walk by her desk and pretend to look important, while she barely spared them a second glance.

  Another handful were other agents, most of whom made excuses to come to Jay’s office when a simple email would have sufficed. None of them understood why Jay wouldn’t make a move on Marty. Jay couldn’t explain it either. Well, not in a way he was comfortable admitting to anyone.

  The last category of suitors was the category that worried Jay the most, as these were Jay’s clients aka the guys Marty seemed friendliest around, probably because it was her job, though it didn’t make Jay less annoyed. Jay typically communicated with his clients via phone or email but, as word got around about his hot assistant, he began getting more requests for sit-down meetings so the guys could come to the office and blatantly lust after her.

  Marty’s usual MO when a client flirted with her was to smile and wave them away, gently letting them know that she was not to be fucked with. Which is what made her reaction to Noah Cabrera all the more alarming. Jay knew this wasn’t an act and, worse, he knew that Noah was used to getting all the women he wanted, so it was only a matter of time before Marty ended up in his bed.

  At that thought, Jay bolted from his chair and strolled out to Marty’s desk. He raised his eyebrows in what he hoped was a casual but questioning look as he shook Noah’s hand.

  “What’s up, Noah? Didn’t think we had a meeting today.”

  For emphasis, Jay shot Marty a pointed look as if asking her to confirm his schedule. She opened her mouth to speak but Noah cut her off with a chuckle.

  “No meeting, boss, was just driving by and wanted to see if I could take Marty out for lunch.”

  Noah winked at Marty who, honest to god, blushed a little before looking away. She blushed. It was hot and adorable and sexy and Jay wanted desperately to be with her and make her blush like that for him again.

  Since that one night over a month ago, when she had basically admitted to being horny and wanting to fuck him, their relationship had been nothing but professional. If anything, it was almost too formal, and Jay yearned to joke around with her like before.

  Before Jay could say something stupid to Noah like ‘no she can’t go out with you’ or ‘you keep your filthy hands off of her,’ Noah continued. “But, she said lunch wouldn’t fit in with her work schedule. I guess her boss is demanding or something.”

  Marty gently shoved Noah, who faked like he was injured.

  “Hey! I didn’t say that! Don’t put words in my mouth!” Marty playfully swatted at Noah again as he reached up to pull one of her curls. They locked eyes for far too long for Jay’s liking, so he cleared his throat and pulled Noah’s attention back to him.

  “Since you’re here, Cabrera, why don’t we catch up for a bit? Grab a bite around the corner?”

  Noah jumped off of Marty’s desk, not taking his eyes off of her as he smoothed his t-shirt and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Jay noticed that Marty was basically looking up at Noah with heart eyes, and he was so close to yelling and causing a scene.

  Jay watched in slow-motion horror as Noah bent over Marty to whisper something in her ear. He whispered. into. her. ear.

  WHISPERED.

  Noah’s lips were probably brushing up against her skin. Jay could literally feel his blood boiling and he tried to take deep breaths. He didn’t own Marty. She wasn’t his anything. This was fine. Everything was easy breezy. Totally.

  Still, as Jay watched Marty blush even more at whatever sweet nothings Noah whispered, he all but physically pulled Noah away, forcefully putting his arm around the other man’s shoulder and steering him away from Marty.

  “Text me when you’re finished?” Noah asked Marty, looking entirely too earnest and hopeful for a guy who had his pick of literally every single girl in the country. Marty nodded, looking flushed again, as Noah tipped his head to Jay and headed toward the elevators.

  Jay hung back for a beat and unfortunately didn’t miss the look on Marty’s face as she smiled to herself while watching Noah walk away. She must have felt Jay watching her, so she quickly busied herself with work.

  Jay and Noah were settled into a booth at the old-school diner around the corner from the office. Jay often liked to bring clients here, as it was unassuming and unpreten
tious but the food was amazing and they served up a great old fashioned. Which Jay currently downed way too quickly, earning him a curious look from Noah.

  “You okay there, boss?” Noah asked, while sipping on his Coke.

  “Yep, just having a rough week,” Jay clipped back, hoping he could bury his annoyance under a layer of whiskey and burgers.

  Noah’s phone dinged and he looked down at it, smiling to himself as he responded to whatever message he had received.

  “One of your admirers got you smiling like that?” Jay choked out, not sure he wanted to know the answer to this and yet powerless to stop himself from asking.

  “Nah man, I wish though,” Noah replied, shaking his head like something had him messed up in there. He hesitated for a moment and then worked up the courage to spill the beans to Jay. “So, your assistant... Marty?”

  “Hmm... ?” Jay kept his face calm and serene, as if he was bored by Noah’s line of questioning.

  “Do you know... well you probably don’t talk to her about this but... do you know if she’s single or what?”

  “Why would I know that?”

  “I don’t know, just wondering if she was with anyone or not. She said she’s single but she might be trying to play the field. I have been pretty obvious about wanting to take her out but she doesn’t seem all that into it.”

  Atta girl, Marty. Jay’s heart soared just a tiny bit with the knowledge that Marty wasn’t eating out of Noah’s palm... yet.

  “She’s fucking hot, man. But it’s more than that, you know? She’s hilarious too. And gives me shit, which I love.” Noah got another text, which interrupted his Marty worship. “Oh shit, she finally agreed to have dinner with me. Fuck yes.” Noah beamed at his phone before Jay cleared his throat, bringing him back to Earth.

  “Sorry bro, I’m just... this is so fucking exciting.” Noah grinned like a kid on Christmas morning. His enthusiasm for Marty would have been sweet if it wasn’t slowly twisting a knife in Jay’s chest.

  In that moment, Jay wished an earthquake would strike and wipe everything out. Instead, he had to sit there and play nice while his biggest client made the moves on his beautiful assistant. Fuck that.

  Jay hurried through the rest of lunch and sent Noah on his way, strongly discouraging him from coming back upstairs to see Marty by saying she had a meeting

  Which wasn’t a total lie. Because the moment Jay reached Marty’s desk, he called her into his office.

  Chapter 18: Marty

  Marty slowly followed Jay into his office, wondering how she could possibly be in trouble now. Jay sunk into his desk chair and Marty took the seat across from him. She hesitated before glancing up at him and noting the frighteningly intense look in his eyes.

  Jay exhaled violently and set his jaw, not lessening his intense gaze on Marty. He considered her for a moment before finally clearing his throat. “Marty, what are you doing?”

  Marty couldn’t pretend to understand what he was talking about. “I... what do you mean? I’m really sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Jay sighed again and Marty grew frustrated with how dramatic he was acting. “Can you just tell me what you’re talking about?”

  Finally, Jay spoke up, seemingly troubled by his own words. “Marty... do you... are you...,” he trailed off, much to Marty’s frustration. “I’m sorry to ask this but I have to. Jesus. Are you sleeping with Noah Cabrera?”

  Marty had not expected that. She choked, completely taken by surprise. “I... no, no, we haven’t... I swear.”

  Jay nodded at this confession, appearing slightly relieved. “Okay, good, that’s good.” He gazed at her again and carefully chose his next words. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do but... I can’t stress enough how bad of an idea that would be. For you to... embark on any sort of relationship with him.”

  Marty blinked back in surprise. “Oh... I, um, I mean... we’re just friends. Last time he was here to meet with you, he mentioned he was moving to Miami and I told him I spent summers there with my grandparents, so we kind of started texting and stuff. I didn’t know he was in LA or would be stopping by today.”

  Marty hoped Jay believed her, but at the same time, she was also very pissed. She couldn’t lie to him or to herself and say she didn’t like Noah that way.

  Because the truth was, she did like Noah. He was hilarious and hot and a professional freaking baseball player. More than that, he seemed genuinely into her in a way she hadn’t experienced with any guys she had dated in LA. How could Jay tell her not to pursue anything with him?

  “Look, I obviously can’t tell you who to date or sleep with. But I can say that... if you were to have any sort of, ah, relationship, with Noah, or with anyone else on my client roster, for that matter, you wouldn’t be able to work as my assistant anymore.” Jay looked almost apologetic, as if he hoped it wouldn’t come to that point.

  All of a sudden, Marty felt an intense wave of shame wash over her. She dropped her head into her hands, feeling like a foolish little girl.

  Jay interrupted her from her self-pity. “It’s just that, it would appear as a conflict of interest if you were dating or sleeping with one of our athletes. Let’s say Noah got some endorsement deal over another client and that client got pissed. They could easily complain that Noah only got the deal because he was fucking my assistant, and thus had greater pull and access to get you and by extension, me, to make him our top priority.”

  Marty nodded as she understood everything Jay was saying. In that moment, she felt every bit of their age difference. She considered herself to be pretty mature, which is why she felt even dumber for not considering the optics of a romantic relationship with Noah.

  “If you do decide that you want to pursue this thing with him or whatever, I understand. Just please don’t lie to me. Let me know as soon as it happens, and I will have you transferred to a different desk. No hard feelings, okay? Just promise me you’ll tell me.”

  Marty shook her head. “There’s no need to promise to tell you, I won’t pursue anything, you have my word. I’m sorry I let you down. It won’t happen again.”

  She hated the way her tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over at any time. Still, she resolved to get her head back in the game and prove to Jay that she was serious about this. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t taking this job seriously. I promise that isn’t true.”

  Chapter 19: Jay

  Well shit. Jay felt like an asshole. Though his reasoning for telling Marty she couldn’t date Noah Cabrera were 95% legitimate and only 5% fueled by his own jealousy, he still felt like the jerk of all jerks when he looked into her eyes and saw that she was trying not to cry.

  For some reason, Jay had never considered the possibility that Marty even did cry. She seemed so badass and in control all of the time. He certainly wouldn’t think less of her if she did lose control. But he also didn’t think he could handle it if she did start crying in his office.

  He already felt an overwhelming urge to take care of her constantly. An urge that surprised him on the best of days. But if she started crying, he might do something dumb like confess his undying affection for her, and that would certainly be inappropriate.

  Jay cleared his throat and tried to push past the thoughts of holding Marty in his arms to soothe away any pain. “Hey, it’s alright. I didn’t mean that I thought you weren’t taking the job seriously. I know you do, and I love that about you.”

  Shit, was that too forward? He didn’t mean it like that, but it came out much more tender than he wanted it to.

  Still, he went on, hoping Marty didn’t notice. “I only meant that, because you’re new to the business, you might not be thinking about how something like that would look to other clients or potential clients. Obviously, I should have mentioned something before, that one’s on me.”

  Marty responded with a confused look. “Why is that on you? This isn’t your fault.”

  Jay sighed and leaned bac
k in his chair. “No, I mean... I should have seen this happening. Jesus, Marty, look at you. You’re smart, hilarious, and to top it off, you’re fucking gorgeous. Of course my clients would be interested. It was up to me to set that boundary and I fucked up. It’s not something I usually have to think about with my assistants.”

  Marty’s face contorted into a wry smile. “Just another reason you prefer male assistants, hmm?”

  Jay shook his head. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

  At this, Marty finally allowed herself to smile her genuine smile. The one Jay felt in his body like lightning across a summer sky. “So,” she said, “does this mean I’m not getting fired?”

  “Of course not. I need you too much.”

  If only she knew the half of it.

  Marty nodded, suddenly a little solemn as she got up from her chair. “Okay, well I appreciate you giving me another chance.”

  She headed toward the door but stopped just as she put her hand on the knob. “Also, thank you for saying all those nice things about me.” He quirked an eyebrow. “You know, that I’m smart and funny and fucking gorgeous? You didn’t have to say that but it’s nice that you did.”

  Jay shrugged, needing to end this conversation before he said something he couldn’t take back. Unfortunately, Jay’s mouth and his brain weren’t always in sync. What he should have said was something like “no worries” or “it’s all good” or even “it’s true. ”

  But that’s not what Jay said, of course. He didn’t shut it down like he should have; instead he pushed further.

  “Yeah well, I know I didn’t have to say it, but it’s the 100% truth. I’m not a bullshitter. You’ve been turning heads since you got here and lord knows everyone has noticed. You are absolutely the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”

  Jay put his head in his hands. Oh fuuuuuuuck, what was he doing?? What was he saying?? Could this be classified as a ‘fugue state’?