Shattered

by Pamela Sparkman

  And so the morning went…

  Joe wanted to get together with everyone so I called Lily and Cooper, Hayden, Beth, and Ms. Sophie, and we arranged to all meet up at the bar. Beth had come by a couple of weeks ago to see Joe and bring him some brownies, and other than that we hadn’t really seen much of her lately. When I called her she seemed excited to see everyone and said she would meet us there. When we got to the bar, Joe placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me inside. Beth ran over and threw her arms around Joe’s neck, nearly knocking him over by the sheer surprise of it.

  “I’ve missed you too,” Joe said with a chuckle.

  “I feel awful that I haven’t been around more, just awful.”

  “Hey, no worries. I wasn’t in a very good place before anyway, and those brownies you brought, they make up for pretty much anything. Come on, let’s go sit down.”

  Beth hugged me too before marching us to a booth in the corner.

  “Wait,” Joe said. “I need to talk to these guys for a minute,” he said, tilting his head toward the bartenders. “I’ll be right there.”

  Joe had been back at work on a part time schedule for a couple of weeks. He was still using the walking cane, but was getting better without it.

  Soon after Beth and I had sat down and began catching up with one another, Ms. Sophie arrived.

  “Hello, dear. How are you doing?”

  I hugged her and answered, “I’m good. Really, really good.” I then gave her my best smile, like an exclamation point at the end of a sentence to emphasize just how good I was.

  “I’m so glad, dear. You know, I came over once when you were gone to the store. I needed to see my Joe, but he was telling Cooper he didn’t want any company.”

  “Really? He told his sister the same thing. I didn’t know that.”

  “Well, Joe had some things he needed to work out on his own, and in his own time, dear. He was struggling to stay positive. I broke his rule and came to visit him one day anyway.” Ms. Sophie laughed. “He thought he needed to put on a show for me when I showed up unexpected, acted like he was fine. And I politely told him to ‘knock that shit off.’ Isn’t that what the young people say, dear?” Ms. Sophie looked at me expectantly and I stifled a laugh.

  “Yes ma’am, I suppose they do say that.”

  “Yes, well, I let him know that he need not pretend with me. I’ve known that boy since he was in diapers for Pete’s sake.”

  I tried imagining how Joe must’ve enjoyed that conversation. “So, what did he say?”

  “Nothing. He let me hug him, and then he cried.”

  My eyes watered hearing that, and I had to look away.

  Ms. Sophie placed her hands on mine. “He needed to get it out, and he didn’t want to do it around you, dear. You know, you are the reason he’s walking today.”

  I shook my head at that. “No. Joe did all the work.”

  “But you were the reason he did it. I didn’t think anyone could love someone as much as Cooper loves Lily. Even an old lady like me can be wrong from time to time. Joe loves you with everything he has. It’s a beautiful thing to witness, dear. A beautiful thing indeed. I am a lucky woman. I get to witness two of my boys who love with their whole heart, and two ladies who are every bit deserving of receiving it.”

  “Thank you,” Ms. Sophie, I said sincerely. “Thank you for being there for him when he needed you. And thank you for saying that. It means a lot.”

  Ms. Sophie patted my hand, and then turned to Beth. “Now, Beth dear, how are you?”

  “I’m good, Ms. Sophie.” Beth smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. During my conversation with Ms. Sophie Beth had been quiet, though she had been listening intently. Her eyes darted up towards the door. I turned in my seat and saw Hayden standing in the doorway. He was looking around the room and when he spotted us he headed our way.

  Hayden leaned down to hug Ms. Sophie and then he scooted into the booth next to Beth. “Maggie, it’s good to see you. I would hug you too, but you’re way over there and my arms can’t quite reach that far.”

  I chuckled. “I’m sure we’ll get a chance to hug it out before the night is over.”

  Hayden smirked. “You bet.”

  “Well, you can certainly reach your arms around to hug Beth since she’s sitting right beside you,” Ms. Sophie said mildly.

  Hayden cleared his throat. “Right.” He turned to face Beth and spoke to her for the first time since sitting down. “Beth, you doing okay?”

  “Uh huh,” Beth answered while picking at a napkin.

  “I don’t see any hugging going on,” Ms. Sophie prompted.

  Hayden then reached over and pulled Beth into his arms and squeezed her in a tight hug. He whispered something in her ear, and when he let her go she had a grin on her face, one that said she liked whatever it was that Hayden had said to her. It must have been contagious because Ms. Sophie and I were wearing the same grin.

  Soon, Cooper and Lily showed up and Joe finally made it over to us, making everyone shift around in their seats so he could sit next to me.

  “Damn, Joe,” Hayden said, “next time sit down next to your girl before everyone else arrives so we don’t have to play musical chairs.”

  Joe grinned at him. “Hey since you’re up, why don’t you go get us some drinks?”

  “Ass.”

  “You love me.”

  Hayden started to walk towards the bar and then stopped. He nodded his head contemplatively, and quietly said, “I do.” He made eye contact with Joe, letting him know he meant it.

  Joe reciprocated the nod and said, “Me too.”

  Hayden left to go get the drinks and Beth chimed in, “Me three!”

  “Me four,” Lily said.

  “Me five,” Ms. Sophie said with a chuckle.

  “Ah hell,” Cooper said. “Is this what we’re doing?”

  “Yep,” Joe said. “Come on, Coop. Tell me you love me.”

  Cooper shook his head while looking down. “You’re one of my best friends. I love you like a brother. You know that.”

  “I do know.” Joe looked around the table. “I love all of you too.”

  Beth giggled. “Maggie didn’t say it.”

  Joe looked over at me, pretending to be wounded. “She’s right. You didn’t say it.”

  I held Joe’s face in my hands, and locked my green eyes with his blue ones, kissed his lips, and whispered, “Me seven.”

  Joe

  What do you say when you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted, and ever needed? Are there any words for that?

  Just about eight months ago Maggie Malone came into my life, and my head has been spinning ever since. I can truly say that I have enjoyed every minute I’ve spent with her. Every last one. It’s all the minutes I had spent without her that I regretted. I wish I had known her sooner, but fate is what it is. She came into my life when it was meant to be, I guess. All I know is that she’s here now, and I’m eternally grateful for that.

  I’ve had plenty to battle, and I won’t say it’s been easy, although, it has gotten easier. Sometimes you just have to decide to be happy and then… be happy. If I waited for my life to be perfect, then I would be waiting forever. And the truth of it is, I would rather choose messy and complicated over impossibly perfect any day. At least this way, I know that when things are at their worst, Maggie and I can make it through. If anything we are stronger for it. So yeah, I choose happy, so that was what tonight was all about.

  “Hey son.”

  “Well, it’s about time you and Mom got here. I was beginning to think you’d never show.” Kate had gotten to the bar a few minutes earlier, dropping the girls off with their dad. I hated the bastard, but as long as he was good to the girls I wouldn’t beat his ass again. Kate had filed for divorce and so far, the asshole had behaved in a civil manner about it.

  “We got caught in traffic trying to get here,” Mom said.

  “It’s okay. I was only joking. I would get up and
hug you but as you can see, there’s no getting out of this corner.” We were all packed into the booth like sardines in a tin can.

  Hayden and Cooper grabbed a couple of chairs from an empty table and placed them at the end of ours. Mom and Dad sat down and seemed anxious to get reacquainted with Ms. Sophie, and again the table was bubbling with small talk and laughter.

  “Hey,” I said, “Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?”

  I received the usual eye rolls from Cooper and Hayden. Lily, Beth, Maggie, and even Ms. Sophie loved my stupid jokes. My parents and my sister have learned to love them over the years I suppose.

  “No,” everyone said in unison.

  “She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue.” Then I began to tell jokes in rapid fire succession… “Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.”

  Grimaces.

  “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!”

  Groans.

  “What do you get when you cross the godfather with an attorney? An offer you can’t understand.”

  Eye rolls.

  “Did you hear about the new corduroy pillow cases? They’re making headlines.”

  Grins.

  “I know some jokes about unemployment, but they need some work.”

  Laughter.

  I picked up my beer. Everyone was laughing and wiping their eyes. It helped to wait until this group was slightly intoxicated. It made my jokes seem funnier.

  Setting down my beer I said, “Okay last one.” I made a gesture with my hands to illustrate I needed their attention. “Now, this one is only for Maggie, so no one else needs to answer.” I turned in my seat so I was facing my girl. You ready?” I asked her.

  Maggie nodded enthusiastically, unable to wipe the smile off her face. Good. I love it when Maggie smiles.

  “Knock knock.”

  “Who’s there?”

  “Marry.”

  “Marry who?”

  “Marry me?”

  I watched Maggie’s face go from happy-smiley to a look that contorted into utter disbelief. She blinked, and then looked around at every face seated around the table one by one. The bar was loud and noisy but you could hear a pin drop at our table. No one even dared to breathe too loudly. Maggie was center stage and her silence was making me nervous. Beyond nervous.

  You know that moment when you plan to do something in public, how it sounds like a really good idea at the time, but then, right after you do that thing, you are immediately hit with…shit, what did I just do? That was me.

  Too late now, the question was out there. I waited in uncomfortable silence while Maggie clicked all the pieces together inside her head.

  I took her hand, brought it up to my chest, placing it flat over my heart. “Remember that night when you asked me to tell you something I’d never told anyone else?” I leaned in, brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Maggie nodded. “You’re my Evangeline,” I whispered to her.

  The whimper I heard from her was tiny, but the emotion that spawned it was deep and all-encompassing. I knew that because I was consumed by it as well.

  “You heard that?” she asked softly.

  “Every word.”

  Maggie’s bottom lip quivered, and her eyes began to water. “You heard me talking to you when you were in the coma?” she asked again as if she needed the confirmation.

  “I did.”

  “I knew…I knew you could hear me.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

  “I remember the important stuff.”

  Tears cascaded down her face, and I wiped at them with the pads of my thumbs. I tilted my head down, and drew my eyes up to hers. “I kinda need an answer, babe.”

  She responded with a nod that started out slowly, and then it quickly progressed into one that resembled a dashboard bobble head. “Yes! The answer is yes!”

  Thank God!

  I fist pumped the air and shouted, “Halleluiah, Amen!” The very words I had said to Maggie the night of Cooper and Lily’s wedding reception when she agreed to dance with me. That night started off with a question; tonight it ended with one.

  “Halleluiah, Amen!” Our friends and family cheered, lifting their glasses to us.

  My dad slid a little black box across the table to me. The same one I thought I had lost forever. When I was still in the hospital in Colorado, one day Maggie and Mom had left together to get some coffee, and my dad had pulled it out of his pocket to show me he had it. “Where did you get that?” I asked him when he produced my wallet, placing it on the table next to my hospital bed.

  “A nurse gave it to me. She said this was also in your possession when they brought you in.” He pulled a small black box from his other pocket. “She gave it to me along with your wallet while your mom was signing some paperwork on your behalf.”

  “Has Maggie seen it? Does she know you have it?”

  “No. Not even your mom knows. I figured it wasn’t my place to tell. Something like this,” he said holding up the box emphasizing the ring, “is something you tell when you decide to tell it. I would never take that away from you.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  He tried to give it back to me. “No,” I said, holding up my left hand. “Hold on to it for me.” I pulled at my hospital gown. “These things don’t come with pockets.”

  Dad chuckled softly. “Well, they should.”

  “I agree.”

  Dad patted my shoulder. “Okay, son. I’ll hold on to it for as long as you need me to.”

  The box sailed across the table and right into my waiting hand. I had called him this morning and told him to bring it with him tonight. He’d asked no questions – just said okay.

  “Thank you, Dad.”

  I opened the box and pulled out the ring, holding it between my fingers and thumb. Maggie offered her left hand to me, and as I slid it onto her finger, I said, “For the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the only girl I ever will.”

  So, what do you say when you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted, and ever needed? You close your eyes, lift your face up to the heavens, and say, “Thank you.”

  Maggie

  “So, husband, can you believe we’re married!”

  “I can, and I can’t.” The corners of Joe’s mouth lifted into a goofy grin. “It still feels like a dream to me. If I am dreaming, don’t ever wake me up.”

  He placed his key card on the table and walked over to me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and laid his forehead against mine. We swayed together to the music in our heads and I felt like him holding me like this would never last long enough, especially when there was a time not so long ago neither one of us was sure he ever would again.

  Joe had booked us a suite in one of the nicest hotels in Nashville for our honeymoon night where we would stay through tomorrow night, and then we would be off to a quiet little cabin in the Smoky Mountains for a few days.

  “I’ll be right back, love. Nature calls.”

  “Okay, hurry back.”

  Taking out my earrings, I opened my purse to toss them inside and saw the envelope. I sat down, pulling the envelope from my purse and remembered I needed to open it. My father and Caleb had come down for the wedding and my dad walked me down the aisle. Right before that he handed me an envelope and said, “I wanted you to have this. Open it later when you’re alone… or not…it’s your call. Just don’t open it now, Poppet.”

  I didn’t know what I expected to find, however, I was surprised to find a worn wallet sized picture of Mom and me. Peeking out of the envelope was a note.

  Poppet,

  I’ve held on to this picture for many years, as you can tell by the worn edges. I’m giving it to you now. I imagine that after today, I’ll be carrying a different picture of you with me, but this one will be stored in my memory instead of my back pocket. The picture of your wedding day; that’s a picture I�
�ll keep forever.

  Why am I telling you this in a note instead of saying it to your face? Because I knew that the minute I opened my mouth I would be too choked up to say anything. It’s not every day we are given second chances, so I don’t intend on screwing mine up. I know how important the right words can be at the right time, so I’m choosing to say them to you the best way I know how.

  I love you, Poppet.

  All my love,

  Dad

  “Hey babe, what are you reading?” Joe asked walking over to me.

  “A note from my dad.” I handed it to him.

  “You sure you want me to read it?”

  “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

  Joe read the note and when he got to end he said, “Have I told you lately how glad I am that you and your dad have a relationship again?”

  “No.” I winked at him. “But I know you are. You’re a big part of that. Thank you, by the way.”

  “Don’t thank me for that. Seeing you happy is thanks enough.”

  I flipped the picture of me and my mom over in my hand and tried to make out whatever had been written on the back, but it was all smudged and faded. I couldn’t read it. I held the picture up to Joe. “Wanna see a picture of my mom and me when I was little?”

  Joe took the picture and stared at it for long minutes. “This is your mom?”

  “Yeah. What? What’s with the face?”

  “Maggie...” Joe sat down on the bed like he’d just had the wind knocked out of him.

  “What? What is it?”

  He held the picture for me to look at. “This was my nurse… in Colorado. I would swear on a stack of bibles this is her.”

  “I met all of your nurses. None of them looked like my mom.”

  “Not look like her, this is her. I’m telling you, Maggie. This is … wait…what was your mother’s name?”

  “Faith.”

  “The nurse who came into my room, she told me her name was Faith. She told me how you had not left my side even once since you got there. You were asleep in a chair next to my bed. The second time I saw her was right after I found out I couldn’t move my legs. I asked you all to leave, remember? I needed to be alone for a while and that’s when she came in. She…she…” he trailed off, trying to put it altogether. “Those were the only two times I saw her, and both times, it was only me who saw her. I never gave it any thought until now. Don’t you think that’s a bit strange?”