Careless Rapture

by Dara Girard

  “It was time for her to leave.”

  “How did she escape?”

  “She didn’t escape. I opened the window for her.”

  Jackie kicked a pebble into the grass. “So you encouraged her to go?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you plan to do the same with me?” she asked in a low voice.

  He stopped. “Will I have to?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  His voice became harsh. “Drake will never—”

  Jackie made an impatient gesture. “He’s not my guardian. I don’t care what he thinks.”

  He didn’t believe her, but just for tonight he wanted to. He began walking again. “Is that woman still at your house?”

  “If you’re referring to your mother, yes, she is.”

  “I’ll meet with her.”

  Jackie spun around and grabbed his arm. “Oh, good. We can—”

  He tucked her arm through his. “I’ll meet with her alone.”

  ***

  As Jackie and Clay walked in silence, Bertha stood at the window smoking, regretting her life choices as she waited for Jackie to return home. Bertha hated the silence that allowed her thoughts to weigh on her and welcomed the loud ringing of the phone. She stubbed out her cigarette and answered. “Hello?”

  There was a pause, then a persuasive male voice came on the line.

  ***

  Cassie woke to the sound of movement downstairs. When she glanced at the empty space beside her, she knew what it was. She found Drake in the kitchen. He stood at the stove stirring something in a pot, its sweet aroma scenting the air.

  “It’s two in the morning,” she said, blinking against the bright lights.

  “You’re supposed to be a sleep.”

  “So should you.”

  “I’m not tired.” He turned to her. “You’ve been crying.”

  “I know.”

  He drew her close and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s only partially your fault.”

  His voice cracked. “My fault? What’s my fault?”

  She bit her lip, then said, “About Clay—”

  “He betrayed me.”

  “How?”

  “I invite a man into my home, my family, and he sleeps with my sister.”

  “I don’t see why you’re upset, you’re sleeping with his.”

  He sent her a cold glare. “Are you trying to be funny?”

  Cassie bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning. “No. But if you really think about it, it’s no big deal. They are both adults. What did you want him to do? Ask your permission?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t be absurd.”

  “My intentions for you were always honorable.. From the first moment I saw you, I wanted to marry you, to provide for you. He’s not offering her any of that.”

  “Perhaps that’s not what she wants.”

  He turned off the stove. “But that’s what she deserves. He’s not . . . ” He trailed off.

  “Good enough for her?”

  Drake opened the cupboard and grabbed two bowls. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

  “Then give me a few of your own.”

  He set the bowls down, then rested his hands on the counter. He hung his head with remembered pain. “I saw my mother work herself to death because she had a husband who couldn’t provide. Dad was a good man and he tried, but—”

  “Your mother loved him and I don’t think she regretted her choice. But the point is Jackie isn’t her. She’s stronger than you think.”

  He straightened and poured the green banana porridge in the bowls. “How well do you really know him?”

  “Why is this all of a sudden an analysis about Clay? What if Jackie seduced him?”

  Drake handed her a bowl. “She wouldn’t.”

  Cassie grabbed a spoon, then sat at the kitchen island. “How do you know?”

  He sat beside her. “I know my sister.”

  “You don’t know her as a woman and I can assure you that’s a different thing.”

  “I know her more than I know him.”

  Cassie glanced at the ceiling, amazed. “I can’t believe this.”

  “What?”

  “Are you trying to sound like a snob or is this accidental? Drake, what is this really about?”

  He scooped some pudding, then set it back down. “He deceived me.”

  “You deceived me,” she countered.

  He had the grace to look embarrassed. “I had a reason.”

  “So that made it okay?”

  “No. It was Eric’s secret and I didn’t feel it was right for me to tell you I told him it was wrong, but he didn’t listen.”

  “So did you ever consider that maybe Clay was keeping Jackie’s secret?”

  “You mean she didn’t want to tell me?”

  “I know she didn’t.”

  Drake captured Cassie’s gaze. “So you knew about them and didn’t tell me?” He shook his head. “I never thought our marriage would come to this. To deception and keeping secrets from each other.”

  “It doesn’t have to again.”

  “No.”

  She saw his hand twitch in the odd way it did when he wanted a cigarette. She knew many things about him, yet also knew there was still so much to learn. Cassie touched his hand. “I know Jackie hurt you, but her words were foolishly spoken.”

  “Yet clearly understood.” He turned to his wife, his eyes bright with pain and confusion. “I did everything I could for them. Why do I feel at times as though they despise me?”

  Cassie held his hand to her chest, wishing she could help him understand. “They don’t despise you, but sometimes they come to you as a friend and you treat them like children.”

  “I only give them advice. That’s what I’ve always done.”

  “Sometimes they only want you to listen, to be there, and not try to guide and help them. Drake, you have to let go. Come, I want to show you something.” She led him to the family room and pointed to a portrait they’d had taken last spring: Cassie, Drake, Marcus, and Ericka. “You’re the head of a different family now.”

  He stared at the portrait a long moment, the pleasure of what he had warring with the pain of letting go. He turned to Cassie, surprised that his love for her continued to grow and change with each new year. He pulled her into his arms, Holding her close, feeling the new life inside her move. She was right. He had to let go.

  ***

  Jackie absently typed her proposal, trying not to think of how Clay and Bertha’s meeting would be. She was imagining a number of scenarios—most of them bad—when the phone rang.

  “Drake was right,” Eric said without preamble. “I should have told Adriana. She’s furious.”

  “She won’t speak to you?”

  “Worse.”

  She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Ouch. No sex. Sorry. I know how much you like that.”

  “Yes,” he said grimly. “Unfortunately, so does she.”

  “For how long?”

  His voice rose in surprise. “Does it matter? Next time I’ll risk worrying her and give myself a reason to comfort her. Anything is better than this.”

  “You’ll survive.”

  Eric gave a world-weary sigh. “I’m almost a shell of my former self.”

  She slipped out of her shoes and wiggled her toes.

  “Does your brain still function?”

  “Partially. Why?”

  “I need your advice.”

  His tone changed. “You didn’t have to hurt him, you know.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I just…He made me so angry and he had no right to mention your chest pains.”

  “I don’t need a champion. I can fight-my own battles and that wasn’t one of them.”

  “He can be such a bully.”

  “He loves us,” Eric said. “An annoying, aggravating fact at times, but it’s true.”

  “I doubt he’ll ever talk to me again.”<
br />
  “At least not this century.”

  “Don’t be mean,” Jackie said.

  “Then stop feeling sorry for yourself. He has every right to be mad at you. He needs time.”

  She sighed. “You’re right. Besides, Drake’s not my only problem.”

  “What else is there?”

  “Clay’s mom. She’s here in the States and she wants to reconcile with him. Since she’s staying with me, I don’t know what I’ll do if things fall apart.”

  “It’s getting crowded?”

  She rubbed her forehead. “You know how it is with visitors.”

  “Expensive.”

  “This is not about expense, this is about family. They’re meeting today and I’m not sure everything will go well.” She pulled on her shoes again. “I want things to work out.”

  “Stay out of it.”

  She sighed. “I can’t. If he just gave her a chance, I think—”

  “Stop thinking and listen. Are you listening?”

  “Yes.”

  “Paper and pad ready?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Eric!”

  “No need to get testy, pest. Here’s my advice. Leave things alone. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll be in the same position I’m in.” He paused. “I suggest cold showers.”

  “How come you don’t feel the same way about Clay as Drake does?”

  “A simple equation. One, because I’m not Drake, plus one, I know you, which equals Clay didn’t have a chance.”

  “You make me sound devious.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  Jackie laughed. “Only sometimes. Bye.” She hung up.

  A few moments later, Patty peeked her head inside the office. “You have a visitor.”

  Jackie checked her calendar. “Who?”

  Kevin entered and spread his arms wide, looking very much like the wealthy playboy he was. “Me.”

  She stood and hugged him. “This is a nice surprise.” She hadn’t seen him since she and Clay had visited his house.

  “I’m glad. I want to talk to you about my decision. Grab your bag. We’re going out.”

  Jackie soon found herself in the backseat of his Lexus as the driver took them around the city. “I was impressed with your program,” Kevin said. “I read your materials and did a little research. I even met with your boss.”

  “And?”

  “I can’t donate.”

  Her face fell. “Why not?”

  He tugged on the cuffs of his sleeves. “I didn’t like her shoes.”

  She blinked, confused. “Why?”

  “They didn’t match her job.”

  “What are you talking about? What do her shoes have to do with anything?”

  “You’ve never noticed Faye’s shoes or the earrings she wears?”

  “I know they’re very nice, that’s all.”

  He patted her on the hand as though she were a misguided youth. “Oh, yes. I keep forgetting you were poorly educated. Here’s a little lesson. Her shoes cost eight hundred dollars.”

  “Shoes don’t cost that much,” she said in disbelief.

  “Of course they do. Her earrings were perhaps three hundred, which isn’t much by itself, except when you consider her salary.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything. She comes from a wealthy family.”

  Kevin thought for a moment, then shook his head. “I bet she checks price tags.”

  “Is there anything wrong with that?”

  “When you’re rich, you don’t have to. If you want something, you buy it. So how can she afford those shoes in a job like that? Does she have a boyfriend?”

  “No.”

  He shrugged. “It’s none of my business, anyway.”

  “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,” she said in defense.

  “Perhaps.”

  “But it’s the reason why you won’t contribute?”

  “Sorry, babe. I don’t like questions when it comes to money. I’ll give you a little something to put a smile on your face, but I can’t be an investor.”

  Jackie drummed her fingers on her knee. “Damn.”

  “Is that the best you can do?”

  “I could call you a dirty name.”

  “Say it with conviction and I’ll take it as a compliment.”

  She made a face.

  Kevin stretched his arm the length of the seat. “Let’s go to lunch. How about the Blue Mango?”

  She narrowed her eyes, knowing what he was up to. “No.”

  He tapped her on the shoulder. “Oh, come on. I like irritating your brother. I’d love him to see you with me.”

  “I don’t think he’s there anyway.” She sighed. “Right now I think he dislikes me as much as he does you.”

  “Impossible. He loves his family.” He removed fun from his trousers. “How’s Cassie?”

  “She’s fine.” She slanted her eyes at him, unable to ignore the certain note in his tone. “Do you still--”

  “Love her? Probably. I don’t think about it much.”

  Jackie glanced out the window, then said, “Of all the women you’ve met, why her? She’s pretty and funny, I know, but—”

  “Isn’t that what love is? Loving someone for reasons you can’t explain?” He cupped her face. “Don’t look so tragic, little one. I’m not suffering.” He flashed a devastating grin she was forced to return. “I’m happy for her. I think your brother’s a jackass, but he’s the perfect man for her. I could have offered her money, but not a family life. I don’t want to get married and have kids.” He shivered at the thought. “I enjoy my life. Truly.” He paused. “But I can see that love is making you suffer.”

  “I’m not suffering.”

  “At least trying hard not to.” He looked out the window and shook his head. “Women get it all wrong. They fall in love with unsuitable men. Clay is the wrong man to fall in love with.” He turned to her. “I, however, make a better alternative.”

  She looked doubtful. “Why?”

  “I’m better looking, rich, classier, and I like to be loved.”

  “Don’t you mean adored?”

  “Yes, that, too.” His hand fell to her shoulder. He lowered his voice. “How would you like time away?”

  She lifted a sly brow. “Is that an invitation to something that would get us both in trouble?”

  “Yes.”

  She tilted her head flirtatiously to the side. “Where would you take me?”

  He leaned toward her “Where would you like to go?”

  “Into Clay’s mind.”

  Kevin frowned and sat back. “That sounds like a dull place.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Come away with me. Think about it. A vacation on a Greek island.”

  Jackie narrowed her eyes. “You do like to cause trouble. I bet your mother gave you everything you wanted.”

  “And more, but this isn’t about me. Some shaky waters could spur Clay into action.”

  She shook her head. “Tempting, but no.”

  “Why not? You could make Clay jealous and Drake would be thrilled you’re seeing Clay and not me.”

  “I don’t want to play games.”

  “Games can be fun.”

  “I’m too old for games.”

  He rested a hand on his chest and released a sigh. “I suppose the problem is I’m not. Perhaps that’s why I’m all alone.”

  “I’m not going to feel sorry for you.”

  Kevin made his face look like that of a hurt puppy. “I’m a poor, lonely bastard—I mean, bachelor—in need of sex—excuse me, love. Lots and lots of love.”

  Jackie laughed and playfully hit him until he smiled. “You’re dreadful.”

  “I try.”

  “We could never work. You remind me too much of Drake.”

  He stared. “What?”

  “That’s why you can’t stand each other. You’re the flip side of the same coin.”

  “I offer you a weekend getaway and you insult me?” he said, of
fended.

  “You’re both used to commanding subordinates, you both like to help when you don’t need to, and you both would spoil me rotten.”

  He held up a hand. “Enough. I may be sick.”

  “Don’t be angry.”

  “I’m not. Life’s too short. I may never speak to you again, but I’m not angry.”

  She smiled and turned away.

  “So what will you do?”

  “About funding?”

  “No, about Drake. What are you willing to risk?”

  “Risk?”

  “If you had to make a choice and lose either Drake or Clay for the rest of your life, who would you choose?”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The long days of spring settled over the city in a sun-soaked breeze that washed the leaves and grass a brilliant green and polished the stone buildings. Bertha and Clay sat under a tree eating lunch he bought from a street vendor.

  “Thanks for seeing me,” Bertha said at last, breaking the silence that had stretched between them since he’d picked her up.

  “Hmm.” He watched her light a cigarette while he took a bite of his hot dog.

  “Nice weather.”

  “Can be until it hits May, then the city is a humid monster.”

  “You hate the heat. Why do you stay?”

  He shrugged. “Cassie.” He said her name though it caused pain.

  “Family’s a good thing. I was seeing a bloke with five kids.”

  Clay leaned back on his elbow. “He dumped you for his wife, did he?”

  Bertha glared at him. “I don’t see married men anymore.”

  “You’ve made a lot of wives happy.”

  “Will you continue to be my judge and jury?”

  Clay sat up and stared at a passing jogger. “Why did you want to see me?”

  She hesitated, then said, “I’m lonely.”

  He turned to her, surprised. “Honesty. Wow. That’s a nice change.”

  “I’ve changed a lot.” She inhaled, then shook her head. “Well, maybe not a lot.”

  “So after he dumped you, what happened?”

  “Sorry?”

  “You’ve been dumped before and you’ve been lonely before—that has never sent you running to me.”

  “I bet you’re a successful investigator.”