Only Two Of Us

by Cassandra Russell

  Trying to anticipate his reaction, I was soon firing:

  "Mother, you will not believe me ..."

  "I know," she cut my lip sharply, without changing her back to face me.

  "And you're not going to congratulate me?" I murmured, half shrinking.

  "Congratulations," he said in a bitter voice, turning from the front.

  I could see she was trying to wipe a tear from the right corner of her eye.

  - But why? I did not understand. Did not you like it? What did I do wrong?

  "Wrong question," she said harshly. - The right question is: what did I do wrong?

  "Mother, what are you talking about?"

  I could understand that she was upset that she was not the first to know, especially because

  we lived together, I just did not think the drama was that bad.

  "You really do not know?" Well, I'll try to refresh your memory ... You do not seem to have

  more family, at least not a mother. I do not see her at all during the day. I do not get good morning, good afternoon.

  or at least a good-night kiss. I know I have to respect your privacy, but, as

  things are going, we are becoming complete strangers! It hurts to know for others that my daughter

  won prizes, changed course, refused dating ...

  She started talking like a machine gun.

  "Now, for instance," he went on, "you knew you nearly knocked me down when you opened the door and ran

  to your room? I went upstairs trying to figure out what would have happened to get you to

  and found out from the conversation he had with his father that he won that newspaper award. No

  I want to be jealous and I do not like listening behind the doors, but I have not been here for some time.

  there is another way to know something about you. What did I do? Speaks! Or was it something with Otávio?

  that I do not know If it is, I ...

  "No, Mother, it was nothing to anyone, I swear!" I interrupted. - Actually, I can not even say what

  happens to me. But it's not your fault. It's ... mine, "I admitted. Sorry, I have not been very attentive.

  lately, is not it? Maybe it has something to do with hormones. Perhaps...

  "Stephanie, I've been your age. I know that there are things difficult to share with the

  own mother. I also know you're an adult. I'm not asking for satisfaction from every sigh you give during

  Just give me the right to be your mother. I want the right to embrace it with every conquest

  worry about when you're hurt and even give some advice, even if you

  do not go. I just want to be part of your life. It's not asking too much, is it? Damn it, daughter! I love you! - stated that

  a form so painful that I began to feel myself a real monster.

  Mom did not deserve it. Not even.

  She had no idea she felt that way, but then something changed. At

  her tears moved me deeply. They made me think about how much I missed, sort of

  ghost that inhabits the same environment, only in a parallel dimension, place where only I fit.

  The fact is that it has always been easier to deal with my defects by being isolated from the world, not

  there was no denying it.

  But silence also removed good things, could camouflage and take away the perception of what

  really mattered. I missed her, even more so than I supposed. Just did not give me

  of the time I had lost under an affective quarantine regime imposed on myself.

  And for that reason, I hugged her almost involuntarily, as if my legs were

  anticipation that the brain has not yet commanded.

  It was a huge relief when I could cry. It seemed that a small knot had finally

  untie I had wondered for a long time whether I had become insensitive, and fortunately I was wrong.

  Her heart was still there. Somewhat hidden, I admit, but still beating.

  - Mother?! Faninha ?! Why are you so crying? "I could see the innocent little eyes of my

  little brother with a trace of worry in the middle of his forehead.

  - Not at all, Juninho! Or rather, her sister won an award for being the best photographer in the world,

  did you know - said my mother, expressing the pride I felt, finally allowed.

  - The rumble? Damn it!

  - Mother, do not exaggerate! So he will believe.

  - But you're the best! You are the best sister in the whole world ... Want to play doll

  with me? He asked, looking like a puppy.

  This was a blackmail of the brabas, however, who would resist his appeals as he pleaded with

  That whole sweet thing?

  - Okay. You can go up and separate our armies. Only today will not be easy, no! -

  i warned "Oh, and the white army is mine.

  - Okay, okay, okay! He left, shaking his head and complaining as if I had discovered

  its weak point. It looked like a male miniature of Mom, except for her green eyes, which

  possibly they would be an inheritance of the father, although also could be a legacy of my grandmother.

  No sooner had I recovered and the bell rang. It was Otavio, who had forgotten to

  take the keys and hurried inside with the newspaper under his arm. He had a beard and the

  his creepy black hair spattered by the thin rain that had begun outside.

  - Hey, hey! Took the first prize! Congratulations girl! I think I will require participation in this

  joking ... "he said in a half-convinced voice, and at the same time making it clear that

  really happy.

  I bowed my head in thanks and grinned at my mother. She reciprocated the same

  way, but nodding so I would not forget someone waiting for me with

  anxiety in the upstairs of the house.

  Octavio showed that he did not understand anything when he saw us with watery eyes, but neither did

  no mention of asking anything in front of me. Of that I could not complain. He

  never interfered in our mother and daughter relationship. I never had reason to have any kind of aversion to him,

  because he always treated me very well.

  In a way, Mom was lucky: she was always loved intensely by someone who

  love.

  After an afternoon of "intense emotions" with guerrilla soldiers from the northern border and playing

  Combat - also a war game - with Juninho, I took him off to bed and ran to the

  my room, immediately turning on the computer. While the machine was booting, I found a

  ticket on the bedside table.

  "Bruno called and asked you to come back," he said, in my mother's handwriting.

  - Ugh! Is not this guy ever gonna get off my feet? I complained on my own, rolling my eyes,

  practically crying out to heaven for this miracle.

  I crumpled the paper and tossed it into the trash lightly, returning to the main screen. Of course

  There would be zillions of errands waiting for me in my emails, especially Anne, whose patience

  it had never been one of his virtues.

  I opened the Messenger page and immediately it appeared:

  - At last! Jesus, where have you been?

  "In the last hours?" Let's say I was in the middle of a confrontation, "I typed.

  "Causing a battle with Caesar of Pre-II?"

  She referred to a preparatory course kitten I said flirt lately, though, to tell the

  Truth, I was not really interested. In fact, I never was.

  - No baby! The battle was with Juninho himself. I played Combat with him, "I explained.

  - Combat? This is a game?

  "It's a military strategy game, why?"

  - Speaks seriously! But what about the guy? Did not he get soft on you all week?

  "You look like you need glasses." That's what you can trust a myopic friend ...

  "What
was the ruffle?"

  "The frill is that this illustrious gentleman practically swallowed Silvinha in the side parking lot.

  I made a justification, hoping he'd stick again. - You could see the guy's tongue.

  touching her brain.

  - It can not be! That wild one? I was even disappointed with it now! How could he?

  like that?

  "There seem to be flip-flops for all kinds of feet, even for those in the wild." I just hope

  My slipper does exist. As luck would have it, he's going to run into me on the street and confuse me

  with a post!

  "I wish I were a post like you!" You are very lucky to be able to eat everything. No

  I can not even look at a lettuce foot that calories invade me by default! Argh, what hate! -

  whined

  I had to pause to laugh. She was right.

  Anne was kind of cute. I've lost count of how many times she's started on an infallible diet, such

  which only start on Monday ... and end on Wednesday. I complained with my mouth full.

  "Stephanie, you've been complaining about life ..." She paused to think that almost all the boys

  drag you to your feet and you live giving an excuse? I do not even know why you're interested

  by Caesar. He spent a long time in the greatest hope and you, as always, nothing.

  "I do not know what you're talking about." - I took the body out.

  - Oh no? What about Mário, André, Augusto ...?

  - Exaggerate yours. They did not like me, I guarantee.

  "You do not like them and pretend you do not understand." What is your problem? Looks like

  continues to see herself as a prickly teenager! Do not you think it's time to end

  this complex? You grow up! Do not look in the mirror?

  "I see very well, that's the problem.

  Instinctively, I looked at my reflection reflected in the small mirror hanging in front of the

  computer desk Why did not I surgically remove this annoying black spotted chick

  from my lip when I had the opportunity? I asked myself in my thoughts, giving a sigh of

  discouragement

  - Many girls would like to have half the beauty that you have and yet, my friend there

  continues to dodge. What are you afraid of? Of falling in love?

  Anne had no reason to speak to me as if I were attractive and she was not. Except for the

  small, overweight, had a very handsome face, flushed, and short brown-red hair.

  modern also attracted like no other boys.

  - Give up. I typed. You can lose hope. You'll never see me in love, melosinha

  or any of those "inhas" with which the girl there dreams so much. The romantic one here is you. If I

  finding someone who understands me is already very good.

  "You're the one who wants too much." The guy might even be in love, but understand you? Only if he

  do not be human! He sneered.

  - Ah, ah, ah! I typed ironically.

  "I can bet you're going to be a gambler for someone before me," she teased.

  - It's easier for a donkey to fly.

  - How much? He asked, offering a challenge.

  "Ask for what you want, you'll miss it ..."

  - A carousel at Tanaka's.

  - Done. I'm already with my mouth watering! I accepted, convinced of the victory.

  "Should not you want to lose that bet?"

  - You are crazy? And miss a round at Tanaka's?

  - Really! If you continue like this, you will never stop being a virgin ...

  - Better secure virgin than sorry repentant! I snapped.

  There was a pause for a few seconds. I think I went too far.

  But also, damn it! I hated when they made jokes about my intimate life, mainly

  on this part.

  Then I typed again:

  "It was bad, I did not mean it.

  "Okay, but I only forgive because I know you well.

  Anne lost her virginity in a very sad way.

  I thought you liked the guy. He even consulted with a gynecologist before he stayed

  unprepared, did hair removal sessions, bought a sexy underwear for the long-awaited day and ...

  And at hour H, he regretted it.

  Except that his regret was in vain at that moment, for he refused to back down. Did not have the

  to understand that it was not ready yet, and instead

  invest heavily.

  Initially, he tried to force it with soft words, then physically, and after having thought

  momentarily in the aftermath, he played dirty: he said at the foot of her ear that he knew who had been

  his mother in the past and who could release the news to the four winds by the school.

  Her mother was a program girl when she was younger and Anne, raised by her grandmother. Father daughter

  unknown - or anyone, as she used to whine - she always had real panic

  that anyone would know about this story. So he thought that there would be no other way than to yield.

  This was a terrible mistake, not only because of the trauma she had caused to her physically - he treated her brutally

  - but psychologically.

  Since then, Anne has begun to eat compulsively, losing her most enviable form - an act

  of defense, I suppose -, failing to make any kind of effective love encounter any longer. The

  her loves were more on the imaginary plane, perhaps out of fear that this would happen again. In addition,

  fortunately she started doing therapy and she had improved in many ways.

  I also could not say much about this. He even occasionally flirted with boys and

  them to me, but I felt something very strange when I approached them.

  The kisses were insipid, without any emotion ...

  Several times I caught myself wiping my mouth unintentionally, as if I was feeling disgusted to be

  kissed Very uncomfortable situation, I can assure you. I think the men thought me somewhat

  odd, or perhaps even pedantic, for always keeping a certain detachment from each

  relationship that began and that, inevitably, the very next day, I would finish it myself. This when

  did not close immediately so as not to prolong the problem.

  He kept asking me what I was waiting for ... or who.

  I did not know why, but the fact is that I could never imagine myself loving someone, marrying or having

  children. Romanticism and love seemed not to be part of my dictionary; these words sounded

  totally subjective, had no real meaning.

  - Are you still there? Anne interrupted my thoughts.

  "Yes. I was daydreaming, that's all," I said.

  - The question is: with whom or with what?

  "With what, Anne, with what ..." I replied again, already irritated by her questions

  malicious

  - Then say. What?

  - I won the contest. I typed with pride.

  - Too much!

  "Thanks," I said.

  - When?

  - June, I think.

  - Already? Oh, what envy! If I had not spent my money on the new computer, I might have

  buy the tickets to go too.

  - That would be perfect.

  "Yes, but now it was," he lamented.

  "We'll still go there together someday," I said.

  - Will take. If you fix some cat in the States, promise to tell me!

  - Right. And you, do not let go of therapy, "I warned.

  - Will stay long?

  - I think not.

  - I will miss you.

  - Me too, you fool! But let's talk every day, "I promised again. - Got a

  computer in my room in Miami.

  "Are you going to have time to go to Sawgrass Mills?"

  - Because? You want me to bring something there?

  Oh, no!

  Now I had no time to
regret it. I knew I should not have said that. Because of this

  she would be forced to bring a whole suitcase full of beauty products.

  I could even imagine the list ...

  Not to mention the other suitcase that would come back full of intergalactic dolls, soldiers and

  all kinds, although this one even made a point of bringing Juninho.

  I would have a little more than a month to organize, verify documents, passport, etc.

  And it would be worth it.

  I was quite sure of that.

  Chapter 3

  The trip to Miami was a bit tiring. The flight suffered some delays and had a lot of turbulence.

  As usual, I took my medicine prescribed by the doctor to sleep and literally quenched,

  almost the entire path. I was interrupted only occasionally by a man visibly terrified,

  of those who have a real plane panic. The poor man has gone ill two or three times, having to be

  monitored frequently by a cardiologist who, to his relief, had come on the same flight.

  I arrived at the airport lobby around ten in the morning, a delay of almost two hours on time

  foreseen.

  And there he was ...

  My father was standing, extremely impatient, next to two ladies of origin

  Nipponese who chattered on and on. It was still the same. She did not even have a strand of white hair.

  Tall, thin, and he looked as though he was not aging. Who knows, perhaps it was not really him that I pulled?

  Well, taking away the fact of having a stature that barely reached his chest - if I can

  to call a little more than five feet tall - at least as far as chocolate hair is concerned

  and flat, I was absolutely sure, as well as my dark brown eyes. As for white wires,

  wait a bit to know

  - My God! At last! I was getting worried! He exclaimed, relieved, hugging me

  then.

  - Wow! I miss you, Dad! I returned his embrace with enthusiasm.

  - You look beautiful! It must devastate the heart of those cariocas all! I'm already getting pity

  their!

  "You do not even know how much." I gave a burst of sarcasm, practically inducing him to

  think that this would be impossible.

  - Dating, getting or do I know what you say?

  "No, I do not think I'm very fortunate in this department," I said with dismay.

  - Impossible! If you have not found this kitten yet it is because there must be some outbreak of blindness