The Promise

by Natalie Clarke

  The curtain to my changing room is tugged open and Hayley is standing there.

  “Hey, I might not have been decent,” I say.

  “Would you have cared?”

  “No, but that’s beside the point.”

  She fights back a smile. “What do you think?” Hayley twirls around on the spot, showing me the dress she picked out. A short, floral tea dress that clings to her slim frame.

  “I love it.”

  “Thanks, I like yours too.” She smiles, her eyes scanning up and down my body.

  I look down at the dress I picked out, a simple black dress with short sleeves, a scooped neckline and a flared skirt which ends just above the knee. “I think I’m gonna get it,” I say reaching around to unzip myself.

  “Wait, why don’t we keep them on, it’s your birthday after all. Got to look good.”

  “I don’t look good in my jeans and tank top?” I challenged, feigning offence.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I'm kidding. Come on, let’s get out of here.” I grab my bag and an armful of clothes, including my own and head out of the changing rooms and go to pay for our clothes, handing the lady behind the counter the tags we pulled off the dresses, explaining to her that they are from the dresses we’re wearing, and we head out of the store with our bags in hand.

  “So, how are things going with your dad?” she asks.

  Since the day at the diner, Patrick and I have been spending more time together, still finding new things out about each other. Twenty years is a long time and so much has happened, though he mostly wants to hear about my childhood and what Lucas was like growing up. He and Lucas hit it off immediately, he lights up as soon as Patrick enters the room.

  “They’re great actually. He and Lucas adore each other.”

  “I'm glad you have him a chance, you would have regretted it if you hadn’t.”

  Hayley and I wander through the mall for another hour or so before she leads me into a salon and informs me that her birthday gift to me is to have my hair, nails and makeup done. Quite frankly, my birthday cannot possibly get better than this. I opt for a full face makeover, smoky eyes and red lip to match my freshly painted red fingernails. As for my hair, I’m quite happy with how it is, so I ask to just have a quick trim, a few layers and give it some loose beachy waves. By the time we leave, we are ready for my birthday dinner.

  ∞∞∞

  “It will only take a minute,” I say, heading down the hallway as I fish for my keys in my bag, as I unlock the door to my apartment, Hayley close on my heel. “Just gonna drop off these bags and then I'll be ready to go.”

  I open the door and flick on the light.

  “Surprise!”

  I screech in shock, my bags slipping from my fingers and crashing onto the floor. I place a hand over my heart to steady it and let out a breath as I glance around my living room that is decked out with balloons and a huge banner reading, 'Happy Birthday Gwen', the faces of my friends and family staring back at me.

  “Happy Birthday!” Hayley throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

  “How long have you been planning all this?”

  “A few weeks. You didn’t think all we’d do is have dinner did you?”

  “Dinner was fine with me, you didn’t have to do all this.”

  “Only the best for my best friend.” She kisses my cheek and tugs me further into the room.

  “I see now why you wanted us to keep our new clothes on.”

  “Happy birfday, mommy!” Lucas bounds over to me and wraps his arms around my legs.

  I crouch down and pull him into a hug. “Thank you, baby,” I say, kissing him on his forehead.

  “Twenty-five, do you feel old yet?” Kyle asks, smiling, pulling me in for a hug, kissing the top of my head.

  “Still five years younger than you, old man.” I shove his shoulder playfully.

  “I’m sure Hayley will back me up in saying there is nothing old about me. Everything is working just fine.” He smirks, wiggling an eyebrow.

  “Shut up,” I say, laughing, slapping him lightly on his chest with the back of my hand.

  “Happy birthday, trouble.” I whirl around to find Aaron standing behind me, a wide grin spread across his face as he holds his arms open to me.

  “Aaron!” I run to him and jump into his arms, my arms locked around his neck as he spins me around. “I’m so happy you’re here. I missed you.”

  “Missed you too, it's good to see you, Gwen.” He places me back down on my feet. “Oh, I’d like you to meet Eva, my girlfriend.”

  My gaze lands on the petite brunette standing beside him. He places his arm around her, his hand resting on her waist as he tugs her into his side.

  “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” I say. They’ve been dating for a couple of years but this is the first time he’s introduced her to us.

  “Oh, you too. Happy birthday.” she replies politely.

  “Thank you for being here, both of you.”

  I let my eyes wander around my living room and spot Rose sitting in the armchair by the window talking to Hayley's father, John, along with his partner Trisha. Jack, Hayley’s uncle is also here. Growing up I always considered them my family, just as I did Hayley. Everyone important to me is here, though there’s one person missing.

  Zach.

  I haven’t seen him in over a week, not since we fought. Deep down, I never really thought he would show, not after what happened between us, but even so, my stomach drops in disappointment that he’s not here.

  A voice behind me pulls me out of my thoughts. “Happy birthday sweetie.” I turn to find Ellen and Nate stood behind me.

  “Thanks.” I wrap my arms around them both, Ellen pressing a kiss to my cheek.

  “Are you alright? You seemed lost in thought.”

  “Yeah, I’m all good. Just a little overwhelmed with all of this.” I gesture around the room.

  “You deserve it.” She smiles.

  For the next hour, I make my way around the room, making sure to speak to everyone, in between making a beeline to the buffet every five minutes.

  “Hello, love,” Rose says, coming to a stop beside me.

  “Hey, Rose, thanks for coming.” I pull her into a hug and press a kiss to her cheek.

  “Are you having a good time, darlin’?”

  “It’s amazing.”

  The doorbell rings and I excuse myself, weaving my way through my crowded living room and answer the door. The door swings open and Zach is stood in the doorway, his gaze fixed on me.

  He came.

  My heart speeds up as I take in the sight of him. He’s wearing a plain white buttoned shirt, the top two buttons undone, with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, dark blue jeans, and combat boots, carrying his leather jacket in his hand that hangs at his side. His coffee coloured hair wild and messy in the best way, he must have come on his bike.

  “Hey,” I say with a small smile.

  “Am I welcome here?” he asks. I can see the uncertainty in his eyes of whether he should have come here or not.

  “Of course you are,” I breathe out softly. I take a step forward and wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head against his chest, the scent of his cologne drifting into my nostrils. It takes a few seconds before he responds, it’s as if I’ve caught him off guard. His arms tighten around me as he drops his head to my shoulder, burying his face in my neck before lifting me off the ground, clutching me tighter.

  “Happy Birthday Gwen,” he says, his voice muffled.

  “Thank you.”

  I hear him release a deep sigh, his warm breath tickling my neck before letting me go, placing me back on my feet. I look up at him to see him smiling, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

  I take his hand and guide him into the room, closing the door behind him.

  “Zach! Zach!” Lucas calls as he comes barrelling towards us.

  “Hey buddy.” Zach crouches down and Lucas leaps into his arms. My hea
rt skips a beat as I watch them together. He releases Lucas who goes running over to Nate, and comes to stand beside Kyle.

  “Hey man. Glad you came,” Kyle says, clapping him on the back. Something passes between the two of them that I can’t put my finger on.

  “Thank you for coming,” I say.

  “Wouldn’t have missed it.”

  ∞∞∞

  A short while later, I’m presented with the biggest birthday cake I think I’ve ever seen, three tiers of chocolate cake, and had to endure the embarrassment of having ‘happy birthday’ sung to me, something that hasn’t happened since I was eleven.

  “Okay, everyone, gather around the TV please,” Hayley shouts, killing the music. “Gwen,” she skips over and takes my hand and leads me over to the couch and sits me down, her on my left and Aaron on my right.

  “What is this?” I eye her suspiciously.

  “You'll see.” She smiles knowingly.

  The entire room circles the couch around us, and we turn our attention to the screen. The chorus to Push it by Salt-n-Pepa begins and the screen fades from black to reveal Hayley and I, fifteen years old, singing on the karaoke machine Hayley used to own, at her birthday party.

  “Oh my God! No!” I cover my face with my hands, heat rising into my cheeks. I reluctantly drop my hands and watch as we spin into the rap and Hayley and I copy the dance that took us hours to learn.

  Pictures from over the years flash across the screen to make a collage of memories; Hayley, Aaron, and I at our high school graduation and prom, water fights, Christmases, the time when we dressed up as Sandy and Rizzo from Grease for Halloween when we were thirteen.

  Next is the video that Hayley and I took while insanely drunk, well, Aaron and I were anyway, the video shows Aaron dancing to Jump by Girls Aloud, doing Hugh Grant’s dance from Love Actually as Hayley and I secretly film him, the camera shaking as we try to contain or laughter and our snickers. We've never told him that we filmed him. I guess he knows now.

  “What the-? How did I not know about this!” Aaron leans across and buries his head in my shoulder, his cheeks reddening a little.

  More photographs flash across the screen, like the time when Hayley’s dad taught me how to ride a bike for the first time without stabilisers when he let go of the seat without me knowing.

  The video then switches to me blowing out the candles on my tenth birthday cake, Hayley, her mom and dad and my grandmother sat around the table, clapping as each candle fizzles out into smoke and the screen fades to black.

  I don’t realise until the video ends that I’m crying. Tears are streaming down my face, the memories of when we were younger seeming a lifetime ago.

  “Happy Birthday Gwen, I love you,” Hayley says, taking my hand in hers, her eyes welling with tears.

  I lean over and wrap my arms around her and cry into her shoulder and she on mine. “I love you too, babe. So much.” I look over my shoulder at Aaron, reaching for his hand. “Come on, you too dickhead.” I tug him over and he wraps his arms around us, sandwiching me in the middle.

  “Just so we’re all clear, you two are dead for filming me dancing,” Aaron says, and Hayley and I burst into laughter.

  “Love you guys, so much,” I say, in the arms of my best friends.

  Best birthday ever.

  ∞∞∞

  I wave everyone off. Ellen and Nate take Lucas for the night for a sleepover, something he loves even more than Toy Story. Sleepovers and Grandma and Grandpa’s house have his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. Hayley and Kyle are the next to leave, leaving just Rose, Zach and me.

  “I should probably get going too,” Zach says, running a hand through his hair as he stands in the corridor just outside my front door.

  “Okay. Well, thank you for coming, Zach.” I step forward and plant a light kiss to his cheek. His hand presses into the small of my back, holding me to him for a brief moment before he drops his hand and steps back.

  He pauses, opening his mouth as if he wants to say something but doesn’t know how to and he closes his mouth and clears his throat. “I’ll see you around, Gwen,” is all he says. Not waiting for a reply, he heads down the hallway, disappearing from sight as he rounds the corner to the stairwell.

  I lean against the doorframe as a hand lands on my arm. “Who was he, love?” Rose asks.

  “Zach, he’s a friend.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Is that all he is? I know that look on both your faces, seen it a million times. It’s the same look he had on his face when I saw him here last year.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He came by here lookin’ for you, said he was desperate to see you, to apologise for something or other. I told him you were out at the bar around the corner. He seemed sad, somewhat agitated. Did he not tell you?”

  “Oh my God.”

  A year ago. He was here a year ago and I wasn’t home. That was the night I met Josh.

  Zach came here? He came back for me?

  I break into a run, charging down the narrow corridor and down the stairs.

  I have to get to him.

  Chapter 31

  Zach

  The engine of my bike rumbles to life as I reach for my helmet on the seat behind me. It’s raining now, that fine rain that feels like mist but soaks you through in about three seconds flat.

  I had to get out of there. I was so close to telling her everything, but I bottled it like the coward I am.

  I’m just about to kick the kickstand when the door to Gwen’s apartment block flies open and she steps out, panting for breath as if she’s been running. I kill the engine and step off the bike, pulling my helmet back over my head. “Gwen?”

  “A year ago, did you come looking for me? Rose said that you came to find me, but I wasn’t home, is that true?”

  I drop my gaze, nodding slowly. “Yeah I did. I saw you at the bar… you were with Josh.”

  “Answer me this, if I’d been home, what would you have said to me?”

  “It doesn’t matter now,” I say, shaking my head.

  “Of course it does.”

  “I would have said I was sorry! I came back to apologise about that night. But then I saw you with him…”

  “Why did you never tell me?”

  “Figured you’d moved on.” I shrug.

  “Zach,” she breathes out, taking a step towards me but I step back. “None of this makes any sense. I’m not with him anymore, you know how I feel, so why do you keep pulling away from me.”

  “Because I can’t be the man that you want me to be. I won’t be the guy you fall back on...” I take a deep breath and lower my voice. “Because I can’t be your second choice.”

  She stands staring at me for a moment, trying to process my words. “So that’s what all this has been about? Why you keep holding back? Because you think you’re my rebound guy after Josh? Jesus Christ!”

  “You were with him for a year, you loved him. It’s natural to need someone to fall back on, but I can’t let that be me.”

  “I never loved him!” she shouts and we both fall silent.

  I can see the tears forming in her eyes as she looks away from me, wrapping her arms around her body, hugging herself against the cold and the rain that has soaked through her shirt.

  “I never loved Josh, I know that now,” she says, her voice softening. “I thought that I did, but I didn’t, I was only in love with the idea of being in love and being loved in return. I wanted the life. A cosy family, a father figure for Lucas... so I convinced myself that what I felt for him was love, but it wasn’t.”

  A tear trickles down her face as she gazes back up at me. “How could I love him, when I’d already given my heart to somebody else?” She chokes back a sob. “I don’t know what makes you pull away from me, but I can’t do this anymore, it hurts too much. Goodbye, Zach.” She turns and heads back into her building and starts up the stairs.

  I’m stunned into silence. I stand there trying to wrap my head wh
at I’ve just heard. I’m frozen. Whether it’s shock or just from the cold rain that has seeped into my clothes and into my bones, maybe both, but I’m rooted to the spot.

  How could I love him, when I’d already given my heart to somebody else?

  It’s then that it hits me.

  Me. She means me.

  She loves me?

  It takes a while for my brain to catch up to my body, but before I know it, I’m tearing through the door of her building and racing up the stairs to her floor.