“It’s cool that they have live music,” Ivan said, his gaze fixated where mine wished to be. But if I looked at the sexy pianist, I’d end up drooling over him the entire night, and that would defeat the whole purpose of me getting Ivan out of the house.
“Yeah, they sometimes have a jazz band here. Once, they had an acoustic guitarist too.”
Brent came over to take our drink orders, spending an awful lot of time ogling my brother, before walking away.
“You have an admirer.” I grinned when Ivan shot me a glare. There was an emotion in his eyes I couldn’t place, though. Something… dark.
“Not my type,” he responded.
“A lot of beautiful women come in here,” I said, motioning to a group of them across the room. They were in cocktail dresses, had their hair fixed up, and were all sporting the long fake lashes, smoky-eye look. “I’m sure one of them is your type.”
Ivan followed my line of sight before shrugging.
“You have to get back out there,” I said, my voice softer than before.
“I’m damaged goods, Jay. Broken. I’m not good for anyone, so why bother?”
“You are not broken. And I’m not saying you have to jump into a serious relationship. Just do a little catch-and-release fishing.”
A smile crossed his face. “Wow. That’s how you refer to casual hookups? Catch and release?”
Brent returned with our drinks. “Here you go. Anything else I can get for you guys?”
“No, thanks,” I said.
The music stopped, and I looked over my shoulder despite the warnings to myself not to do so. Remi had stood from the bench and was approaching the bar. For a glass of water, I was sure. Since he didn’t drink.
I hated how I remembered that.
I never remembered things about men I fucked or planned to fuck. Hell, I still didn’t even know if Daniel was the real name of the fitness guy. It had been something with a D. The only D I had cared about, though, was the one in his pants.
Yet, Remi was different. For some damn reason.
“Who’s the guy?”
“Huh?” I looked back at Ivan. “What guy?”
“The one you can’t take your eyes off, jackass,” he said, his gaze suspicious. Then, he studied Remi closer. “Wait. Is that Mr. Barnett? I recognize him from the Christmas concert we went to for Foss.”
“Yeah, it’s him.” I took a drink of my beer and regretted not getting something stronger. Especially if Ivan wanted to have this conversation. “This is the bar I told you about before. The one he plays at sometimes. Hey, wipe that hateful look off your face. I didn’t bring us here because of him. Tonight is about us. I meant what I said. I’m not going to run off with some guy.”
“You can talk to him if you want to.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, catching Remi’s gaze from across the room. He sat at a barstool. Alone. “It isn’t like he wants to talk to me anyway.”
He’d made it crystal clear last time what he thought of me, even if there’d been a hunger in his eyes when he’d said it.
“Why?” Ivan drained some of his beer, looking more relaxed than I’d seen him in a while.
“He thinks I’m a playboy who just wants to add him to my list of conquests.”
“And do you?”
“Of course I do,” I answered. “I’ve wanted him for months. But I don’t think he’s into casual hookups. Since that’s all I’m into, it’s pretty much a deadlock.”
“Or maybe it’s time for you to settle down.” Ivan brought the bottle back up, taking a swig, his eyes on me. “You aren’t getting any younger. Don’t you want someone you can spend your life with?”
“I thought I had someone like that once. It turned to shit. I’m not doing it again.”
“That guy was a prick,” Ivan said. “He dragged you along for years, saying he was going to leave his wife for you, and instead he dropped your ass.”
“I’m not talkin’ about Andrew,” I snapped. “He’s in the past, and that’s where he’ll stay.”
“All I’m saying is… you can’t let that one bad experience ruin what could be something amazing, Jay. If you like Barnett, why not try?”
“Because it isn’t me,” I answered. “Can we drop it?”
“Sure.”
However, my damn brother got me thinking. What if I could have something great with Remi? I barely knew the guy, but he countered my smart-assery with some of his own. He didn’t say what I wanted to hear like every other man trying to suck up to me. He was sexy as hell, talented, and—
No. I put an end to that line of thinking.
I would never open myself up again. I’d barely survived it the first time.
“Want another beer?” I asked, seeing Ivan’s empty bottle. “With some liquid courage, I bet you could totally take that pretty brunette home. She keeps looking over at you.”
Ivan grinned. “Yes to the beer. No to the girl.”
“Why?”
“If you don’t have to talk about your shit, I’m not talking about mine.”
“Fair enough” I said, standing up. Brent looked to be busy with a large group of older men, so I’d get our drinks myself. “Be right back.”
Remi was still sitting at the bar when I approached. When I came up beside him and leaned forward on the countertop to get the bartender’s attention, he slightly turned his head.
“Two beers,” I told her.
“You got it,” she said. “Let me just help this guy first, and then I’m all yours.”
Then, I was left alone with Remi. Neither of us spoke at first. I wanted to talk to him—god did I want to—but I kept my mouth shut. A true rarity for me.
“I take it you found someone to heal that pain in your heart,” Remi said, finally looking at me head-on.
“Pardon?”
“Last weekend when I gave you that pain in your chest,” he said. “Then you called me cruel.”
Oh. Right.
“What would you say if I did find someone after you walked out on me?” I asked, resting an arm on the bar as I turned to him.
“I wouldn’t say anything.” Remi kept a straight face, but I saw the irritation in his blue eyes. “You can do whatever you want with whoever you want.”
“What if you’re the one I want to do it with?” I stepped a little closer, and he tilted his head up to keep holding my stare.
“Too bad?”
“Tease,” I said. It was then I noticed something interesting about his left eye. “Part of your iris is brown in that eye. I never noticed before.”
“Yeah, I have heterochromia.” Suddenly, he seemed a bit self-conscious. He dropped his gaze to the glass of water in front of him, hiding the eye that held my attention. “A lot of people have it. It’s not a big deal.”
His defensiveness made me wonder if someone else had made a big deal of it and made him feel embarrassed. The thought caused anger to coil inside my chest.
“Here you are,” the bartender said, placing two beers down and popping the caps.
“Thanks,” I said to her, grabbing the bottles. When I turned back to Remi, I saw him walking back toward the stage. No goodbye, see you later, or anything.
You really need to learn proper etiquette, Remi Barnett.
I shook my head, a smile tugging at my lips, and went back over to Ivan.
Chapter 6
Remi
My gig that night had been a last-minute decision. The musician originally hired had canceled, and the manager at the 906 had called to see if I was interested in filling the spot. Johnny and the guys had been busy, so I’d taken the gig. With Valentine’s Day being a week away, I’d decided to go more romantic with the songs I played.
And of course, Jay had picked that night to show up with an equally stunning blond who could only be his brother.
Romance was in the air. But so was a huge load of bullshit.
I played a few more songs on the piano, starting with “She’s Got a Way” fr
om Billy Joel and then going into “New York State of Mind.” Each time I looked up, Jay’s back was turned to me. He was fully engaged in conversation with the other guy.
Better this way, I reminded myself for the millionth time. Wanting him was one thing; acting on that want was completely different. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget about Jay Foley. Just when I thought I was over him, he came back into my life, drawing me back in.
Something was about to break. I couldn’t go on like that for forever. My resolve was already cracking.
After my set, I stood from the piano, earning applause from a table of women in the center of the room. They were all dressed up in cocktail dresses and drinking glasses of champagne.
“Thank you,” I said, slightly bowing my head.
“Mr. Barnett,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind me, and I turned to see the man who’d come with Jay. Same green eyes as the insufferable man beside him, a telltale sign they were related. “I’m Ivan Foley. My son, Foster, is in your class.”
“Ah, yes,” I said, shaking his hand. “Please call me Remi. Mr. Barnett is only for my students. Makes me feel old otherwise.”
It also made me feel like my dad.
Ivan smiled. “Nice to officially meet you, Remi. Foster really enjoys being in band. I can see how it’s helped him come out of his shell a little.”
Jay stood beside his brother, his gaze everywhere but on me. Was he no longer interested? Did he have someone else on his mind? He winked, and I impulsively followed his line of sight. It’d been directed at the table of women. They giggled and waved at him, and one returned his wink.
“It was nice meeting you,” I said to Ivan before walking toward the back of the bar where the manager waited to give me my pay for the night. I also wanted to get away from Jay.
Over the years, I’d developed a thick skin. However, Jay had found a way to get right under it.
After picking up the check, I went back into the main part of the bar and headed for the door. Jay and his brother were now standing beside the women’s table, chatting them up. Ivan looked a bit uncomfortable while Jay was being his charming self.
I locked gazes with him before I left the bar, and briefly, his flirty persona faded. He looked almost hurt. Then, he returned his attention to the woman in front of him. She touched his forearm and squeezed, and he smirked at whatever she said.
I hadn’t thought he was into women.
Whatever. Doesn’t matter.
I walked home, fuming the entire way. I had no right to be mad. Jay had practically thrown himself at me and I’d rejected him, so my jealous behavior was irrational. Once inside my loft, I showered, spending extra time beneath the hot water, before changing into lounge pants and plopping down on my living room couch.
I then made the mistake of checking my social media, putting me even more into a funk. I had stayed friends with some of my ex-boyfriends, and it always hurt seeing them get into new relationships. One was going on boyfriend number five since dumping me not even eight months ago. Another was engaged. One even had a baby on the way—he was bisexual.
They had gone on to find love after destroying my notion of it.
Yep. I’m cursed.
“Screw this,” I muttered, as I exited out of that app and clicked on another—one I hadn’t checked in months.
To get somewhere new, I couldn’t stand in the same place. It was time for me to take that step forward and hope the fall didn’t bang me up too bad. It was the only way to move on.
I scrolled through the dating app, not interested in a majority of the men who came across my screen. Appearance only played a small part in it too, because most were very attractive. But none of them drew me in. They didn’t give me that spark.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said, recognizing one of the men. His face was mostly covered in the photo, but I knew him nonetheless. The freckle on his neck, right below his jaw, was unmistakable. I’d stared at it enough.
I typed out a message to him before I could stop myself.
Me: Shouldn’t be surprised to see you on here. This is like your hunting ground.
I was sure he was still at the bar with his brother and wouldn’t see the message until later, so I turned on the TV and waited. And waited some more. Maybe I should’ve added my name to the message? My profile made it fairly clear who I was. I had one black-and-white photo of my face, taken while in my favorite fedora, then another of me at the piano.
Maybe he went home with someone.
The thought dropped into my gut like a pound of lead. I didn’t want to imagine Jay rutting against someone else. It was stupid to think he wouldn’t, though. Guys like him fucked like rabbits.
Just as I was falling asleep to a cooking show, my phone dinged.
BlondBastard: And I shouldn’t be surprised to see what you chose as your username. Jazz Guy.
Me: Yours is interesting.
BlondBastard: Well, at least you think something about me is.
I smiled and then tried to force it away. This infuriating man didn’t deserve my time or attention, yet I couldn’t stay away. He was like a light in a pitch-black cave that I couldn’t help but notice, one I inched toward slowly. Little did I know that light was attached to a damn pair of sharp teeth that would devour me in an instant.
And, still, I ventured forward.
Me: I’m sorry for being rude earlier. I hope you and brother had a nice night at the bar.
Talking to Jay online was a lot easier than face-to-face. It made me less irritable. Probably because I wasn’t constantly trying to resist his many charms. He seemed more like a normal person this way.
BlondBastard: My mission to get him laid was a bust. I think he had fun though. Just dropped him off and I’m headed home.
Me: Those women looked pretty damn interested in you guys when I left. None of them took you up on your offer?
I hoped my bitterness didn’t come through in the message.
BlondBastard: Is that jealousy I sense, Mr. Barnett?
Okay. I was wrong. Talking to him online could be just as annoying. As I was debating on how to respond, another message came through.
BlondBastard: Just to make it clear. I didn’t want any of those women. The only person I wanted tonight was you.
Why did that make my stomach flutter? He was sweet-talking me. I was positive he didn’t mean it. Yet, it made my smile resurface.
I couldn’t resist him anymore.
Me: Was? Past tense? Because the night isn’t over yet, Mr. Foley.
The die had been cast. Even though I knew Jay was only interested in sex, I decided to go for it. Because avoiding him was out of the question. Forgetting him was too. I needed to bang him to get him out of my system. He would then stop pursuing me, and I’d hopefully stop lusting after him.
Win-win. I’d just have to throw a chain over my heart to keep it from getting involved.
BlondBastard: What exactly are you suggesting?
Me: That you come over here and fuck me.
Right after I sent the message, I had a small panic attack. My throat got tight, and my heart pounded against my ribs. I had never been so bold before. What if Jay turned me down this time?
What was I thinking? Casual hookups never worked for me. I was sick of it all—craving romance and being constantly disappointed when the men showed their true colors after leading me on.
Jay, on the other hand, had never pretended to be something he wasn’t. Even when we first met, he’d never made false promises or got my hopes up for more. He might’ve been a slut, but he was an honest one.
BlondBastard: As tempting as that is… are you sure that’s what you want?
His response couldn’t have been any better. Maybe there actually was a decent man beneath that cocky attitude.
Me: I’m sure.
BlondBastard: You know it’s just sex with me. I’m not a roses and commitment kind of man.
Me: Then I guess it’s a good thing I
hate roses.
***
Fifteen minutes later, a knock sounded at my door. Inhale. Exhale. I stopped pacing the living room and went over to open it.
“Are you tellin’ me you lived this close to the bar this entire time?” Jay asked. “We could’ve done this weeks ago.”
Even when dressed in jeans and a regular T-shirt, he still screamed sex. Maybe even more so now.
“I didn’t want you then,” I said, opening the door wider so he could walk inside.
“Bullshit. You’ve always wanted me.”
“Cocky as ever, I see.”
“And you’re just as sassy. I like it.”
I crossed my arms as we stood in the living room, not sure what to do. This wasn’t new territory for me—I’d had hookups before—but it wasn’t common and certainly not ever with someone as attractive as the cocky bastard smirking at me.
“You look…” Jay’s gaze roamed my body. “Tasty.”
I hadn’t bothered putting on a shirt, since it would just be coming off soon anyway. I was in sleep pants and nothing else—not even boxers. I’d somewhat fixed my hair, though, and put on deodorant.
“Tasty? What are you, a vampire?”
“Not a vampire, no.” Jay came toward me, his gait sexy and slow. Blond hair fell into his face, and his emerald eyes seemed to darken. My heart beat faster. “But I do have a fondness for sucking.”
When he licked his lips, my quickening heartbeat hit warp speed. My body moved before my brain could catch up. One second I was looking at Jay, staring at his mouth, then I was charging forward and crushing our lips together.
He grunted before grabbing the back of my head, pulling me closer against him.
No kiss had ever turned my brain to mush, but kissing Jay did exactly that. He took away all reason and tore down my barriers.
“Damn,” I said, breathless, as he moved from my mouth and kissed down my neck. “Touch me.”
He nipped at the base of my throat and smoothed his hands down my sides. I tingled from head to toe, each featherlight touch of his lips to my skin acting like a conduit that sent electricity through my veins.
His Surrender Page 6
