Niki Slobodian 04 - The Devil Was an Angel

by J. L. Murray

  “I trust you,” I said, my voice oddly flat.

  “You do?” he said. I felt him looking at me.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I do. It just hasn't been easy. Not just this. All of it. Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to break into a million pieces. But sometimes it's like I'm unbreakable. It doesn't make sense. I want you to know, though, that I trust you. I know we haven't known each other long enough for me to make that decision. I haven't exactly had the best judgment about people. But something about you makes me think that...” I stopped and looked at him, studying him.

  “What is it?” he said gently.

  “Nothing is ever really going to be good,” I said. “Not with me. Maybe not for you either. But something about you makes me think that things might be okay. I'm not really the trusting type, if you know what I mean. And you're not exactly a candidate for stability.”

  “I know you must be going somewhere with this,” said Lucifer, raising an eyebrow.

  “I'm not good at this, I told you,” I said.

  “You're saying you trust me,” said Lucifer.

  “I think I might believe in you more than anyone else right now. I know it's not fair to you, with what's going on right now. But you're right. It would be a mistake not to try. The way we are together, it can't be an accident. I know you said the universe is basically chaos, but I have to believe it means something.”

  “It does mean something, Niki,” he said. “We'll see each other very soon. This isn't the end. You need not talk like it is.”

  I smiled. “It's just that when I confide in someone, it usually ends up being the end. Eli went to Erebos and became a demon. Sam was Unmade. Sasha died. I'm a black spot. Maybe you'll go, and I'll never see you again. Or you'll change your mind. But you helped me today. In more ways than one. It's been so long since I've felt anything but sad.” I sighed. “This sounds stupid.”

  “It's not stupid.”

  “Just, thank you,” I said. “I feel like I got a little bit of myself back today.”

  “You're welcome,” he said. “And it's not the end, Niki. Not even close.”

  I nodded and looked down. “I'm going to find Kane. I need you to know that. I'm going to find out who hired him.”

  “He's not going to tell you,” Lucifer said.

  I looked up at him. “I'm going to find out,” I said, my voice hard. “What he's doing, it's evil. But even more evil is that someone paid him so they wouldn't have to do it themselves. I can't let it go on.”

  Lucifer nodded. “I'll help in every way I can.”

  “Keep Erebos going. Get the fighting under control. Try not to kill anyone.”

  “You keep saying that.”

  “Well, maybe I get the feeling that we're sort of the same, you and me. It's like we balance each other out, our craziness. And if it was me and I was going back to Erebos, I'd probably end up killing someone. Even if I wasn't planning on it. And then I would regret it for a very long time.”

  “That sounds quite accurate, actually,” he said.

  “So I'm telling you to try not to do that,” I said. “The guilt really can cripple you.”

  “Indeed it can,” he said. “You'll come to me the instant you know something?”

  “You can count on it,” I said.

  We sat there looking at each other for a long time. Finally he spoke in a low, guttural voice. “Niki.” I felt a twinge in the back of my skull, followed by a sort of scrabbling that made me want to claw at the inside of my head. I lowered my head into my hands and groaned.

  “What is it?” he said.

  “Nothing,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “It's all right,” he said, putting a hand on top of my own. “We can continue this later.”

  I looked up at him. “I can't stop it.”

  He nodded. “I know. It's not an easy thing.”

  “How do I do this?” I said. “I don't know how to do this.”

  “The way everything should be done,” he said. “Tell the truth.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be the prince of lies,” I said. He laughed.

  “Perhaps once,” he said. “A person can change.”

  I thought of Eli, changing from a gentle, kind man to a bitter demon. Sasha had been a criminal but had died to try to save the world. “I believe that,” I said.

  We walked into the bar, which was thankfully warm. I walked halfway across the room before I realized it wasn't empty. Someone was sitting at the bar. Someone big.

  “Bobby?” I said, my eyes wide with shock.

  Gage swiveled around on his stool, a beer in his hand.

  “Hey, sis,” he said. “What the hell took you so long?”

  “Son of a bitch,” I said.

  SIXTEEN

  “Where in the goddamn hell have you been?” I said.

  Gage seemed to register my anger and slid off his stool, still holding his beer.

  “Whoa, Niki. Easy.” He was backing away from me. He looked bad, but not as bad as the last time I had seen him. His black eye was healing into a sickly brownish color and he had made an effort to sew up his ripped sleeve. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

  “I've called you,” I said, still advancing. “I've come to your house. I've tracked you all over the state. I even went to that shithole crazyhouse they sent you to.”

  “You know about that?” he said, forgetting his trepidation for a second.

  “Goddammit, Bobby!” I said. “Did it ever occur to you to pick up a phone?”

  “Oh,” he said. “I think I lost my phone somewhere. Wait a sec, why were you trying to find me? Is everything okay? I figured you needed some time. Didn't want to bug you.”

  I laughed and it came out half-crazed. “Bug me? I've got a dead guy haunting my brain and telling me you're in a shitload of trouble.”

  “Really?” he said, his face lighting up with interest. “Who's haunting your noggin?”

  “Guess,” I said.

  “Sam?” he said. “No kidding. Well, I am in a lot of trouble, actually. But it ain't life or death. At least not my death.”

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Sit down, Bobby,” I said, nodding to the stool he had just come from.

  “Why?” he said.

  “Just sit.”

  “Okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands in surrender. He took a swig of his beer as he sat down, then pushed the empty bottle away from him. Lucifer was behind the bar pouring whiskey into two glasses. He handed one to me and sipped one himself.

  “Who are you?” said Gage.

  “This is Lucifer,” I said.

  Gage looked at him for a moment. Then he shrugged. “You're taller than I imagined.”

  Lucifer raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

  “You're Sam's brother, ain't you?” said Gage, not seeming to notice the exchange.

  “Yes,” said Lucifer.

  “And you were helping Niki find me?”

  “I was,” he said.

  “Why?” he said.

  “Bobby...” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “She helped me with a situation,” said Lucifer smoothly. “So I helped her. Is that a problem?”

  Gage snorted and looked at me. “Always with the angels, Slobodian. I don't get it.”

  “Bobby, you know I'm one of them now,” I said.

  “Well, not totally. Right?” I looked down into my hands. Gage straightened. “Sis?”

  “Niki is no longer human,” said Lucifer. “She burned away her humanity when she drank the angelwine. When Samael gave her part of his soul to bring her back, she became half Archangel – like Samael – and half Watcher, which she inherited from her father.”

  “That Pineme guy?” said Gage. “What does that mean exactly? If she ain't human any more...what are you, Nik?”

  “I don't know,” I said finally. “Apparently Watchers are the most powerful of the angels. So I'm some kind of badass.” I tried for a smile, but it faded on my face. Gage wa
s staring at me. “You know what I am now, Bobby,” I said.

  “What, the Death thing?” said Gage.

  “Yeah, the Death thing.”

  “I didn't know that would stick.”

  “It stuck,” I said. “It's all I do now. Well, that and search the world for your sorry ass.”

  “We have been looking for you quite thoroughly,” said Lucifer. He took a sip of his drink. “Niki was worried.”

  Gage looked from Lucifer to me. He shrugged. “I don't get why you were looking,” he said. “Why would Sam's ghost tell you I'm in trouble?”

  “That remains to be seen,” said Lucifer, looking at me. I took a long swig of my whiskey.

  I looked at Gage, putting my glass gently on the bar. “Bobby, we know who you are,” I said, my voice quiet. “I know your real name isn't Bobby Gage.”

  Gage stared at me for a long time. He swallowed with some effort, the muscles in his throat working. “Oh,” he said after a long time. “Shit.”

  “Bobby, you should have told me,” I said. “Or should I call you Paul?”

  “Hell no,” he said. “I always hated that name. Bobby Gage suits me better.”

  “I'd have to agree with you there,” said Lucifer.

  “There a reason you're still here, angel?” Gage said.

  “I want him here,” I said. “Be nice. He's not very much fun when he's angry.”

  Lucifer smiled at Gage and raised his glass.

  “Well, can I at least get another beer if we're doing this now?” he said. “It's been a damn long night.”

  “I know the feeling,” I said.

  Lucifer handed Gage another beer. “Thanks,” said Gage, popping the cap on the bar and taking a swig. He looked at me. “How much do you know?”

  “I know about Kane,” I said. “I know you worked for him a long time ago. I know he killed your wife and your son. And I know you'd do anything to find him and kill him.”

  “You know a lot,” said Gage. He frowned at me. “How do you know all that? Who'd you talk to?”

  I looked at Lucifer who shrugged as if to say it was my call. I looked at Gage, who was starting to fix me with a suspicious eye. I couldn't keep it from him any longer. Lucifer had been right back in the car: the truth was the best way to go. Promise or no promise.

  “Bobby, I know because I talked to Sarah.”

  “Sarah my dead wife?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “She was in your house.”

  “Jesus,” he said, scratching at the formidable beard that had grown on his face. “How long have you known she was there?”

  “Since the first time I was in your house,” I admitted. “I'm sorry, Bobby. She made me promise not to tell. She thought it would break you if you knew.”

  Gage smiled. “That sounds like Sarah. She could be tough when she needed to be, though. She was a damn sweet girl. So I guess you sent her over, eh? Being Death and all.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I had to. And she was ready to go.”

  “Was she peaceful?” he said.

  “Very,” I said.

  “Good.”

  “Wait,” I said. “You're not pissed?”

  Gage shrugged. “Why would I be? It's your job, ain't it?”

  “Well, yeah, but I didn't tell you. You should be mad about that.”

  “Nah. Everyone's got secrets,” he said. “You figured out some of mine.”

  “But my secret was that your dead wife was haunting your house,” I said.

  “You made a promise,” he said. “I get that. You know, it makes sense. I kept feeling these bursts of cold air and sometimes I thought I could hear her voice. Real faint, but it was there. I thought I was just going crazy. Good to know I wasn't.”

  “I really don't get you sometimes,” I said. “That secret's been tearing me up for months.”

  “No reason why it should,” he said. “'Sides, you've told me now. It's fine. Really.”

  “You are a curious man,” I said.

  “What about Kane?” said Lucifer. “Did you find him?”

  “Couple of times,” said Gage. “His sidekick or whatever he was gave me this one time.” He pointed at his blackened eye. “Another time he smashed my head into a wall and ripped my coat. I think Kane was just messing with me, though. He'd just pop up and laugh at me. That's why I got arrested. Bastard disappeared when the cops came, then he popped up right when I was talking to them with this stupid smile on his face. I just lost it. Started screaming at him. And then – get this – you know what he did?”

  “He showed up at the jail as the shrink,” I said.

  Gage looked disappointed. He took a swig of beer. “Way to take the wind out my sails, sis. Ever hear of dramatic storytelling?”

  “Sorry,” I said. “He rode with you to Birch Springs, too?”

  “Yeah,” said Gage. He shook his head. “I was damn lucky I had the foresight to put a concealment casting on that badge. Double lucky that it still worked.”

  “I would have gotten you out of there,” I said.

  “Well, I didn't know that at the time, did I?” he said. He looked at Lucifer. “So why's Hell taking such a personal interest in this?” He nodded to me. “Besides the obvious.”

  Lucifer eyed him drily. “Kane is killing again,” he said. “I have been...indisposed the last few years, give or take a century, and I was not aware that he had been...well, alive.”

  “Abaddon told Lucifer that Kane died in the Pit,” I said.

  “Well, that's not accurate,” said Gage.

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” I said. “Anyway, Kane's been killing Outsiders. All over the world. I keep finding whole families. It's his handiwork.”

  “Outsiders, huh?” said Gage.

  “You know about Outsiders?” said Lucifer.

  “I worked for Kane a long damn time,” said Gage. “Casting and whatnot. One of the things that didn't fit with that psychopath was that he would smuggle kids out of Hell. He'd take them to families that wanted to adopt them. But he never asked for a single penny from the parents. I never did get that. He never told me much, and his reasons for the kids was no different. My job was to cast on the kids so they could blend in with humans better. You know, like hide little patches of scales, or make their ears or their noses more human-like. The spells didn't last forever, but I was pretty good at what I did. They should have lasted at least to adulthood. By then the kid would be old enough to hide it on his own.”

  “What else was Kane into?” I said.

  “Petty shit,” said Gage. “Anything to make a buck. Which was weird because the guy lived like a monk. When I met Sarah, I'd just had enough of being a criminal. And she was just the kind of girl that made me want to be a better man.” His mouth turned down like he had tasted something bitter. He tipped his bottle up and finished the last half of his beer in one drink. “He killed my wife, and he killed my son. And I'm going to kill him.”

  “Niki, I should be going,” Lucifer said after a long, tense moment. “I've stayed away as long as I dare to.”

  I nodded. “I know.” He walked out from behind the bar and I met him in the middle of the room, very aware that Gage was watching us with a look of grim amusement on his face. “I'll come see you as soon as I find out anything. Stay calm.”

  “I'll do my best,” he said with mock sincerity.

  “I'm serious,” I said.

  He smiled, but his face turned more serious after a few seconds. “Stay safe,” he said. “You're strong, but you don't know yourself yet. Don't do anything foolish.”

  “Now you sound like your brother,” I said.

  “Then he must have been right about some things,” said Lucifer.

  “I'll do my best,” I said, matching his sarcasm from before.

  Lucifer sighed. “I deserve that. But if you need help, don't hesitate to call.” He reached out and took my hand. “I was quite serious about that before. I will always go to you when you need me, Niki. Always. Unless I just absolutely ca
n't. In which case, I'm probably in more trouble than you.” He smiled, but I couldn't return it. I didn't want him to go, but I knew he had to.

  “Thank you for your help,” I said.

  “I'll see you soon,” he said. He looked at me, holding my eyes for a time. Neither of us spoke for a moment. Then I remembered Bobby, and looked down. Lucifer let go of my hand. I felt the familiar inaudible rip, and I looked up just in time for my head to be clouded with black smoke and Lucifer disappeared in a crack in reality. He disappeared just as the smoke in my head did. And he was gone.

  I stood there watching the spot he had disappeared from. Then I looked over at Gage. He was watching me with a grin on his face. I cleared my throat awkwardly.

  “What the hell are you looking at?” I said.

  “Niki, you're so damn obvious,” he said, laughing. “You never want to admit it when you have a thing for some guy. Or, lately, some angel.”

  I went behind the bar and poured myself another drink. “I don't have things for people,” I said, pouring the whiskey in my glass.

  “Whatever you say, sis,” he said. “I'm in no place to judge.”

  “You think I should be mourning Sam,” I said.

  “I think you just lost the last parent you ever had,” said Gage. “And if that guy makes you feel better, there ain't nothing wrong with it.”

  I nodded and took a drink. “Sometimes I wonder how well any of us knew Sam,” I said. “And how much of what we thought we knew was just what he wanted us to know.”

  “He was that way,” said Gage. “Had a way of getting what he wanted. That's why I didn't think he was right for you. I never got the feeling he was being straight with me. Or with anyone, really.”

  “So the fact that he was Death didn't figure into your disapproval at all?” I said.

  “Well, maybe a little,” he said. “But it's too late for you now.”

  “Too late?” I said.

  “The damage is done, ain't it?” said Gage. “You had to take over for him when he was gone.”

  “That didn't have anything to do with my relationship with Sam,” I said.

  “Think what you want, Niki,” Gage said. “But it does seem pretty weird that he just happened to hire the only other person in the world that could take over for him. Doesn't it?”