Honey Flavored Tears

by Love N. Joy

  “Can I be honest with you about something?” Quincy asked Zariah.

  “What’s up, bay?” Zariah asked focusing her attention fully on the TV. Not that anything special was on that could catch her attention; she just couldn’t bring herself to look at him straight in the eye ever since she told him about her false pregnancy. Love was starting to take her on a turbulent ride. She always heard the saying that love can make you do some crazy things but she never knew love would have her so far gone…

  “To be honest, I was scared at first of having a child but ever since you told me….having a future with you is all I can really think about every day now.”

  A perplexed look came into Zariah’s eyes as she slowly looked at Quincy and turned the TV on mute. “Q what are you trying to say?” She asked giving her full attention to him now.

  Quincy placed his hand on her thigh and looked her deep in her eyes to show his sincere. “Z I know I’ve put you through a lot for my own selfish reasons. I’ve played with your heart so much because of the fear of really settling down and being content with waking up to someone by my side for the rest of my life. I’m only 24, still trying to get my life in order so commitment was so far from my mind; but it’s time for me to grow up and take care of responsibilities and realize that in life you can’t plan out how you want things to go. We are a prime example of that.” His comment caused Zariah to chuckle a little bit.

  “So what are you trying to tell me Q?” Zariah asked.

  “I’m saying no more games. I’m ready to fully commit to you. I mean that one hundred percent,” he replied. It seemed like forever that Zariah was waiting to hear him say that but now that the words finally came out of his mouth, it gave her a funny feeling, the feeling of guilt. Instead of her listening to her conscious that was telling her to just tell him the truth, she just displayed a pretend smile and said, “I’m glad that we can finally be on the same page together.” With that being said, she leaned in and gave him a kiss. This person that she was becoming, someone who lied and schemed to get what she wanted was something new for Zariah. She was torn in between wanting to tell the truth and saying fuck it why can’t I play with his heart like he has done mine…

  

  The next Monday rolled around pretty quick. Ava was chilling in the living room at Jaidyn and Pierre’s house. Frustration was overwhelming her mind as she was reading a text from someone who wanted to get rid of her although the message wasn’t processing in her head yet. She wouldn’t be able to let go unless she made Jaidyn take the place of the only girl that has had her heart since high school. Until then, she hasn’t seen or heard the last of Ava. She sighed deeply and texted back if that’s what you think, you thought wrong.

  “Wow I didn’t know you would be up so early,” Jaidyn said as she came into the living-room causing Ava to jump and toss her phone under a pillow.

  “Girl, you scared me,” Ava said as she placed her hand over her heart trying to calm her heart rate down.

  “’I’m sorry. I should’ve announced myself I just didn’t think you would be up at 8 in the morning,” Jaidyn replied.

  “My body is weird, I wake up at different hours all the time it’s crazy.”

  “Yeah I can imagine.”

  “Why are you up so early?” Ava asked.

  “Got to head into work early today,” Jaidyn replied.

  “Awww damn, I guess I’m gone be chilling by myself today,” Ava said in a disappointing tone.

  “Girl we’ve been hanging since you got here. You’ve been here the whole time since you’ve been back so don’t trip,” Jaidyn said in a playful matter.

  “Yeah I know, I’ve enjoyed y’all’s company just trying to spend a little bit more time with y’all before I head back down to Georgia,” Ava replied lying right through her teeth. She stood there admiring Jaidyn in her pink and lavender scrubs. It was something about her that drove Ava crazy. Maybe it was those honey brown eyes or that beautiful smile. Ava couldn’t place her finger on it, she just knew for a fact that she wanted Jaidyn and whatever she wanted, she was sure to get.

  “Yeah I forgot you are leaving soon, but don’t worry Pierre and I will plan a fun night that you won’t forget before you leave.” Right then and there Pierre walked through the front door of their apartment.

  “Good morning everyone,” he said as he closed the door behind him.

  “Good morning, why are you back home so soon?” Ava and Jaidyn asked in unison.

  “Well damn, since y’all must know so badly they sent me home for the day because it was over staffed in there.

  “Oh, well lucky you,” Jaidyn said as she grabbed her purse, lunch bag and keys off the counter. “Alright, I’ll see y’all later.” Without giving them a chance to answer she was out the door with the door closing behind her.

  “The bitter sweet hatred of having a job,” Pierre said as he chuckled and walked over to the couch and plopped down on it.

  “Yeah tell me about it,” Ava said as she went and sat on the couch next to Pierre.

  Pierre noticed the content smile on Ava’s face and the glow in her face as well. “Hey Ava when was the last time you talked to Promise?” he asked.

  “Huh?” Ava asked as she snapped out of her daze of the blissful life Jaidyn and she could have together.

  “I asked when was the last time you spoke to Promise, you know, your girlfriend?” Pierre repeated himself sitting up now.

  “Oh, I’ve talked to her a couple times now,” Ava said nonchalantly.

  “Wow for you two to be so dangerously in love with each other I didn’t expect you to be away from her this long.” Promise and Ava were always joined at the hip. They had an obsession towards one another. Their love was almost dangerous for one another but at the end of it all love was what kept them together. Hearing Pierre say that made Ava sigh deeply and toss her head back and close her eyes. Pierre waited for her to say something because the pregnant pause she was giving, twins could be born within that time frame of silence.

  “I guess things have changed between us,” Ava finally said as her eyes focused up at the ceiling.

  “Why do you say that?” Pierre asked.

  “We fell in love at such a young age, so fast and so quick. When you move in with someone…that’s when you see them for who they really are. I guess Promise and I thought that we were ready to settle down but in reality we really weren’t,” Ava explained.

  “Well maybe you shouldn’t be here right now. You need to be at home working things out with her.”

  “How can I do that when I just received a text from her saying she doesn’t want me anymore and thinks it’s best if I stay up here in Michigan?” Ava sighed deeply again.

  At that moment Pierre received a text from Kevin saying he wanted to take him out on a date to Bahama Breeze tonight. A huge smile rushed across Pierre’s face. “Now this man knows how to treat a brother,” Pierre said as he replied back to the message.

  “Let me guess, that’s Kevin,” Ava said smiling now.

  “You know it,” Pierre said.

  “I see you are really falling for him,” Ava said.

  “If he keeps playing his cards like this, I just may fall for him,” Pierre said. Ava sucked her teeth in return but she knew why Pierre was so scared to give his heart away. The last guy he fell in love with was ashamed to show his love for Pierre to the world. Pierre couldn’t fathom the truth of someone he loved being content with keeping him in the crack of their closet.

  “Why you suck your teeth, you know how I feel about falling for someone so hard,” Pierre said in return.

  “I know Pierre but dang give the man a chance, don’t hold a wall up forever. Live life to the fullest. Give him a chance. Do it so you won’t look back on life and wonder what if.”

  Pierre gave what Ava said some thought. “I guess you’re right. I’m working my way up to loving again but I can say Kevin makes me happy and comfor
table.”

  “Well that’s good,” Ava said placing her hand on Pierre’s shoulder.

  “So back to this whole you and Promise thing, what are you going to do?”

  “Right now I’m just going to give her some more space until she’s ready for me to come back. I was hoping I could stay here a little bit longer if that’s okay with you.”

  “Girl you know I’m not tripping about you staying here. You are family, besides someone has to stay around and keep Jaidyn’s mind off of her problems since I’m always over at Kevin’s house now.”

  “What’s going on with her?” Ava asked.

  “Men problems. that’s all I’m going to say,” Pierre said. He was usually the type to join into some juicy gossip, but Jaidyn had a special place in his heart. He didn’t want to spread her business around, what stayed between them was their business.

  “Oh,” Ava said not really interested in that category of Jaidyn’s life.

  “Well if you don’t mind I’m about to catch up on my beauty’s rest for tonight. I got to be looking fresh to the left and fine as champagne just so Kevin can know if he ever left me it would be a major loss in his life,” Pierre said being his silly self but somewhat serious. Ava laughed and shook her head, knowing Pierre could be too much at times.

  “Alright get you some rest and thank you for talking to me,” Ava said.

  “Girl, no problem. I’m always here for you,” Pierre said as he pulled Ava in for a tight hug.

  Once Pierre was out of the room Ava laid there on the couch plotting on how she could make Jaidyn hers. If Promise didn’t want her anymore, Ava was fine with that. It was on to the next…

  Chapter 9

  Jaidyn’s P.O.V.

  I came into the apartment that night to find the TV on and all the lights out. As I closed the front door, I noticed a body lying on the couch. I walked slowly over to the couch thinking it was Pierre laying there but when I got close I realized it was Ava. Damn that girl knows how to make herself feel welcome I thought to myself. I placed my belongings on the glass table behind the couch and walked around to plop down on the little space that Ava wasn’t taking up. She jumped up suddenly looking around. I couldn’t help but to laugh at her. When she finally realized it was me, she sighed a sigh of relief and held her heart.

  “Jaidyn you don’t understand how quickly your life was about to be over waking me up like that,” she said causing me to laugh even harder.

  “Oh girl, whatever, if I was really a stranger breaking in you would’ve been dead right away, sleeping all comfortable,” I replied as I demonstrated her sleeping so comfortably. She chuckled in return and said, “Fuck you,” in a playful way. I laughed and hit her with a pillow.

  “Girl I’m just joking with you.”

  “Yeah I know you are,” she replied looking at me out the corner of her eye. Maybe I was tripping but it seemed like she was giving me a somewhat seductive look too. I shook the thought from my head and decided to change the subject.

  “So where is Pierre at?” I asked looking around the apartment noticing he hasn’t announced his presence yet.

  “Oh he’s out with Kevin again,” Ava said.

  “Damn, again?” I asked. Ava nodded her head yes. “Wow I guess he’s really feeling this one.”

  “Yup, you can say that,” Ava said. “So you know what that means…no more of the clubbing Pierre who pimps these hoes as he would say.”

  “I don’t know if I can get use to this Pierre just yet,” I said as I rested my back against the couch.

  “Well damn, that sounds pretty selfish of you,” Ava replied with a little defense in her tone.

  “I mean don’t get me wrong, I want Pierre to be happy. Lord knows he hasn’t been happy in a long time. I’m just saying it’s going to be a lot of lonely nights for me here now that he’s spending so much time with Kevin.”

  “Awww don’t worry about that. Pierre left it up to me to keep you company.” Hearing Ava say this caused me to suck my teeth. I looked straight at her and said, “It’s not your responsibility to keep me company. I’m grown I know how to take care of myself. Besides you’re here to enjoy yourself and spend time with friends and family. Speaking of family have you even had any time to spend with your family?”

  “Damn, you must be getting tired of me or something,” Ava said.

  “No I’m just saying I know you came up here to spend time with them too and we have been taking up most of your time since you been here.”

  “Oh…well I don’t mind spending time with y’all, besides I went to go visit them today after Pierre left,” she replied.

  “Oh ok, well how long will it be before you leave and go back to Georgia?” I felt like me asking that question was wrong because right then and there Ava’s mood went downhill. She leaned back against the couch and sighed deeply. “I don’t even know,” she replied.

  “Why the change in your mood, did I say something wrong?” I asked.

  Ava shook her head no and silence fell upon her.

  “What’s wrong?

  She looked at me and asked, “Jaidyn have you ever done something you regret?”

  I sucked my teeth and said in return, “Shit for the last two years I have known someone I regret even meeting. But why do you ask?”

  “I feel like me moving to Georgia was a bad idea. Thought I was ready for change but it’s not too comfortable with me just yet,” she replied.

  “Yeah change is hard to compromise with at times,” I replied referring that comment to my own situation.

  “I know right, tell me about it.” She became quiet again. I observed her, it seemed like something was on her mind that was dragging her mood down. I wasn’t use to seeing her like this so I decided to change the subject. I’m pretty sure if she wanted to talk about whatever was on her mind she would eventually tell me.

  “So what you watching?” I asked.

  “Oh I fell asleep watching snapped on the Oxygen channel.”

  “How can you watch a show about women letting love make them go crazy and convince them to kill their partners?”

  “Hey sometimes people don’t know what the power of love can do to them. It has you doing things you probably never thought you would do before,” Ava replied. Hearing her say that made me realize she was right. I never thought I would allow or even give Quincy all the chances I gave him. Usually I don’t put up with the love games and bullshit but there was something about Quincy that had me stuck in a trance. Words couldn’t explain how I feel when I’m around him, I just know right now, not being near him is killing me but I have to learn to move on and let him live his life. I can’t allow him to be in my life watching him enjoy a chapter with another woman that I feel I should be enjoying with him. Life…never gives us what we really want.

  “Why you so quiet?” Ava asked snapping me back into reality.

  “Oh girl, I was getting into the show,” I lied. I was hoping she didn’t ask me what was going on because I really wasn’t paying attention.

  “And you said you didn’t like the show, yeah okay if you say so,” Ava replied laughing. I just smiled. As I went to stretch it felt like I pulled a muscle in my back but I knew my body was just sore from standing all day.

  “OWW!!!” I screamed aloud.

  “What’s wrong?” Ava asked in a panic tone of voice.

  “My body feels tense.”

  “Oh you just need a massage,” Ava said nonchalantly.

  “I wish I could get one but those spas cost too much these days.”

  “Who said anything about you going to a spa silly,” Ava replied. I looked at her sideways wondering what the hell she was talking about. “Just turn around,” she said. I did as I was told. Her hands connected to my back, as she slid them down my back, I felt my body jerk and a chill came over my body. “Did I find the spot?” She asked.

  “Excuse me?” I asked getting a little offended. She giggled and said,

/>   “I’m asking did I find the spot on your back where the pain is at.”

  “Oh the pain is all over, you’ll have to massage my whole back.”

  “Well it’s nice to know you are giving me permission to even touch you like this,” she said.

  “What makes you say that?” I asked.

  “Because of my sexual orientation, as if you hadn’t noticed.” I sucked my teeth again.

  “Ava trust me I don’t discriminate. I trust you, if I feel you are ever going too far I will definitely let you know.”

  “Ok,” she replied and continued to give me a massage. The truth was I didn’t want her to stop. She was very good with her hands. Chills kept coming through my body; I closed my eyes and allowed her hands to numb the pain in my muscles. My muscles were relaxed, I was relaxed. She made me feel extra comfortable for some reason. As the night went on, we watched movies. I felt myself getting sleepy but I didn’t want to fall asleep during the movie “Juwanna Mann.” I looked over at Ava who was so into the movie. “Do you mind if I lay my head on your lap?” I asked.

  She looked at me like she was shocked to hear those words come out of my mouth. I didn’t know why. “Well can I?” I asked waiting for an answer.

  “Sure,” she replied. I grabbed a pillow and put it on her lap and rested my head on it. As my eyes began to get heavy I felt her fingers caressing the roots of my hair. It reminded me of when my grandma use to scratch my head as a little child just to get me to go to sleep. It was times like this where I find myself missing her in the middle of the night. I know if she were still around she would not allow me to go through this drama Quincy has me going through. I can imagine the flips she’s probably doing in her grave right about now seeing me go through what I’m going through.

  “Is it okay for me to massage your hair?” Ava asked me.

  “I haven’t told you to stop yet have I?” I asked. She chuckled in return.

  “You have such a smart ass mouth I see,” she replied. I just laughed as well and closed my eyes letting her fingers send chills through my body once again.