Lust

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Allison told me you needed information on ancient beings and lands.” She looked between Daisy and me.

  “Yes.” I was glad we didn’t have to go through the whole story again.

  “Boys, why don’t you start reading through the books I laid out in the library?” She gestured down the hall. “Daisy and I are going to have a talk.” She turned and walked out of the room leaving us no room to argue.

  “I guess that means I follow.” Daisy shrugged.

  “You’ll be fine. I can already tell she likes you.” Levi smiled reassuringly.

  “I can probably thank your wife for that.” She hurried after Georgina into the hall.

  “You look more nervous than she does.” Levi ribbed.

  “I’m allowed to worry about her.”

  “You are, but you also have to accept she can take care of herself.”

  “Quit trying to sound all wise because you’re married now.”

  “I’ve always been wise. I just understand women more now.” He laughed and headed down the hallway.

  The doors to the library were ajar, and we walked right in. The last time I’d been inside, I’d been a kid. I remembered Levi’s grandfather reading us a story about ancient dragons, and our friend Jared declaring he was going to own one someday. At the time we’d laughed. Dragons were long extinct, but if Allures were here, then what else could be?

  “Should we divide and conquer?” Levi handed me two books.

  “Sure.” I accepted the books and took a seat in an upholstered armchair.

  Levi sat down on the chair next to mine with his books. “I guess we should look for any mention of Energo.”

  “I don’t see any other choice.”

  “We’re going to figure this out. Georgina knows nearly everything. If anyone knows, it’s her.”

  “Then why is she having us read these books?”

  “Because she wanted time alone with Daisy.”

  “Then why bother reading them?”

  “Because you love this girl.” He didn’t need to say anything else.

  I opened the first heavy, dusty volume and started scanning the pages. “Think these will ever be available electronically?”

  Levi laughed. “Not as long as Georgina is the one in charge of them.”

  “It’s probably more secure this way, but it’s dangerous to have only one copy.”

  “I’m sure Georgina has some sort of backup.”

  “Good point.” I continued scanning through the pages. Other than the word Energo I wasn’t certain what I was looking for, but I figured any mention of secret cities or places would help.

  Levi set aside one of his books. “We knew the Allures weren’t dead. We shouldn’t be so surprised.”

  “All I ever heard was they ‘left.’” I’d never been curious enough to ask more questions. I was regretting that attitude now.

  “But they had to have left to go somewhere.”

  “And you think that place is Energo?” It was the only lead we had, so I hoped he agreed.

  “I’m guessing there has to be some connection.”

  “That’s what I’m banking on.”

  We spent another twenty minutes searching through books. If we could only find Energo, maybe we’d find answers.

  5

  Daisy

  “You don’t have to look so petrified.” Georgina sat perfectly straight in her chair. I’d already relayed my story to her. I figured holding back any information would only hurt me.

  “You can be intimidating.” I wasn’t generally scared of old ladies, but Georgina had this air about her that made it difficult to speak coherently or make eye contact.

  “You say that as though it is a bad thing.”

  “Not bad, but it explains my nerves.”

  “Straighten up your shoulders,” she scolded.

  I straightened in my chair. “With everything else going on, I haven’t been worried about my posture.”

  “What does having a lot going on have to do with sitting correctly?”

  “I’m just saying—”

  “Don’t just say anything. Everything spoken should be for a reason. Once we get this little problem fixed, I want you to start meeting with me for lessons. If you are going to be mating with the king’s chief advisor, you must look and act the part.”

  “Mating… uh?”

  “Don’t play games, Daisy. I rather like your honest and upfront personality. Owen would have never brought you here if he didn’t plan to spend his life with you, and from what you’ve told me, one of your greatest fears with becoming an Allure is losing your feelings for him. Therefore, you will be his mate.”

  I wondered if she realized Owen had taken a break from his job at The Society.

  She read my mind. “Owen will return to serve Levi. He has always been dedicated to The Society, and no amount of soul searching will change that. And neither will you. In fact your presence in his life will make him more dedicated to the cause. He will have the motivation and focus he needs. The woman plays a very important role in the man’s career.”

  “That sounds sexist.” My lack of a filter was going to get me in trouble.

  “But it’s not sexist, is it? I am simply saying that in a relationship each partner advances the other. I have no doubt that he will help you achieve your goals, whatever they are.”

  “That’s not how all relationships work.” I’d witnessed plenty that were nothing like that.

  “If a relationship doesn’t work that way, it is useless. Rubbish. Appearance and tradition are important, but more important is that each member of a couple feel supported and important. Mark my words, Daisy. One day you will understand.”

  “Hopefully. I mean if we can’t stop this change I probably won’t understand because I’ll never have a real relationship.”

  “Do you truly doubt you’ll be successful? Even after watching Owen’s optimism and determination?”

  “There’s only so far that can go.”

  “It won’t be easy. It’s going to be difficult, and like all truly important journeys in life it is equally likely to kill you as save you, but in the end you will have given it your all.”

  “You talk about death as though it’s nothing.” Death was the ultimate end. It had such finality that it couldn’t be shrugged off.

  “Is losing your humanity, your propensity to feel, not worse than death? What do we have if not our emotions? They are what guide us.”

  “I don’t want to die.” I could hear the fear in my voice. Death terrified me, but would it be worse than becoming an Allure? Neither sounded appealing.

  “Of course not.” She crossed her legs. “And the hope is you don’t. I am merely reminding you that there are things worse than death.”

  “I’m hoping in all of this you have a plan.”

  “Of course I do. I always have a plan.”

  “And what is this plan?”

  “First, we all get some rest. Then first thing in the morning we pay a visit to our friend Mayanne.”

  “You know her?”

  “Of course. Didn’t Owen tell you? She is one of my oldest friends. She lives near here.”

  So that’s where we’d been. I’d never figured out exactly where the house was. I’d been more concerned with losing blood, and Owen. “But she wasn’t able to get rid of the paste’s effect last time.”

  “Because she didn’t quite know what it was. I will speak with her so she has time to prepare.”

  “What about the guys? What if they found something?”

  “They aren’t going to find anything.”

  “Then why did you tell them to read?”

  “Because we needed time to talk.”

  I laughed. “Do you do things like that a lot?”

  “Often. I am sure Levi figured it out quickly.”

  “Should we go find them?”

  “You go do that. I will see to the preparation of the guest rooms.”

  “I don’t want to
put you out.” Not that there was really a choice other than sleeping in the car. It would be pointless to drive back and forth another time.

  “It’s no trouble.” She stood up. “Levi will know where to go. Sleep well, and I will see you all in the morning.” She walked out of the room.

  “Oh, thanks.” I belatedly responded after she left the room. She definitely knew how to make an exit.

  I wandered around the first floor until I found the library. Both Owen and Levi looked up as soon as I reached the door.

  “Learn anything?” Owen asked.

  “We’re going to see Mayanne tomorrow.”

  “She thinks there is more she can do?”

  I shrugged. “Evidently. She knows more too, but I get the sense she’s only going to reveal things one step at a time.”

  “Some sleep would be good for you.” He smiled.

  “Aren’t you going to sleep?”

  “I might try.”

  “My bet is she’ll put you in separate rooms, but I also know she won’t mind if Owen visits. Just be on good behavior.” Levi grinned.

  “Of course.” I put a hand to my chest. “I’m not crazy. I respect the rules of someone’s home.”

  “You are very concerned with being polite.” Levi shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “It’s how I was raised.”

  “Allie is too, but in a different way. Less southern.”

  “Are you going to go home?” I felt bad about him leaving his wife alone for so long.

  “Yeah. I’ll fly home and be back in the morning. I am sure Owen can take care of anything you need.”

  Owen shook his head. “Go already.”

  “You know where the rooms are?” Levi asked.

  “Upstairs and to the left.”

  “Great. Good night you two.” He strolled off toward the front door.

  “Ready?” Owen asked.

  “Not quite yet.” I walked further into the library.

  “You are a very curious person.”

  I turned back to look at him. “You think? I spent years searching for you.”

  “Was it for me, or what I represented?”

  “Oh no. None of that. I had enough psycho-analysis from Georgia.”

  “Oh? In what way?”

  “Just about there being things worse than death, but I was searching for you because I wanted to find you. Not because of well, what you are.”

  “But would I have intrigued you as much without the wings?”

  “Why are you doing this? Aren’t you supposed to be reassuring me?”

  “Humor me.”

  “I wanted you before I saw your wings. Before you saved me. Call it love at first sight or whatever, but one glance was all it took.” I remembered the first moment I saw him in the bar. He’d blown me off afterward, but it didn’t matter. I still couldn’t get him out of my head.

  “Yeah, you’re still there.” He grinned.

  “What?”

  “I wanted to see if your emotional memory was affected. Clearly it’s not. You don’t doubt your feelings for me.”

  “It’s the only feeling I truly know is real.”

  “Because it is.” His arms moved around me from behind, and he pulled me back into his chest. “I’m sorry this is how things turned out. I never should have walked away from you that night. I should have stayed. I thought I was doing you a favor by staying out of your life.”

  “None of this is your fault.”

  “If I’d searched harder or asked Levi for help finding you, we could have fixed things earlier.”

  “But maybe that wouldn’t have made a difference. We’ll never know.”

  “I want you to get some sleep.” He nodded toward the doorway.

  “Abrupt change of conversation.”

  “I know you’re wide awake, but you need sleep. Who knows what tomorrow is going to involve?”

  “Will you stay with me?” I didn’t want to be alone. I’d never get sleep that way, and I wanted Owen as close as possible.

  “Yes. Levi said it himself. Georgina won’t care.”

  “Good.” I took his hand. “Then let’s sleep.”

  We walked up the sweeping stairway, and Owen led us to one of the bedrooms.

  “Are you even going to pretend to sleep in another?”

  “Nope. I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”

  “You did twice tonight.”

  “Technically yes,” he admitted, “But only when I had to.”

  “Do you think it’s okay if I showered?”

  “Of course. There’s a bathroom through there.” He pointed to a door.

  “Thanks. I need it.” I kissed him gently on the lips before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.

  He knocked seconds later. “Hey Daisy, Georgina left this out for you.”

  I opened the door and found Owen holding a night shirt.

  “Great, I was thinking I’d love to sleep in something else.”

  “I’d love for you to sleep in nothing, but that’s not an option.”

  “Nope, not in this house.” I accepted the nightshirt. “Be right out.”

  “Take your time.” He gently closed the door.

  I stripped off my clothes and turned on the shower. I felt dirty and exhausted, and if the shower could take care of the first, the bed would be ready for the second. I stepped underneath the warm stream, trying to wash away the grit and grime of the past few days. It felt like so much had changed so quickly, but more than anything I had knowledge. I knew what was happening to me, and as helpful as that was, it also terrified me and made things tons harder to handle.

  I could have stayed under the warm water forever, but that meant staying away from Owen. I craved him like I craved nothing else in life. Staying away from him would be like a moth avoiding a flame. Impossible.

  I got out and dried off, eagerly slipping into the old fashioned nightgown. I couldn’t have cared what it looked like, even if Owen was going to see it. It was clean and soft, and those were two very important characteristics to me at the moment.

  I opened the door to find Owen lying on the bed in pajama pants and a t-shirt. “Did you get pajamas too?”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “And the funny thing is, Georgina left them in the same room with yours.”

  I laughed. “I don’t know why she would have assumed we’d wind up in the same room.”

  “Me either.” He slipped under the covers and held open one side. “Going to join me?”

  I ran a hand through my wet hair. “If you don’t mind getting wet.”

  He waggled an eyebrow. “With you, never.”

  “Clean thoughts tonight.”

  “The cleanest. We’re talking about water. You can’t get cleaner than that.”

  I slipped in beside him. “I’m exhausted.”

  “You’re finally admitting it?”

  I nodded before snuggling in to his side. “I can barely keep my eyes open.”

  “The beauty is you don’t have to keep them open. In fact you need to keep them closed.”

  “Maybe Mayanne will be able to do more this time.”

  “Maybe.” He ran a hand down my back. “And you said it yourself, Georgina knows more. She’s making us wait because we need to. She could see how tired you were before you even could.”

  “She’s perceptive but also calculating.”

  “She has our interests at heart. Don’t doubt that.” He traced small circles down my back. The touch felt great even through the silky material of the nightgown.

  “I need you to promise me something.” Georgina’s words about the danger in all journeys ran through my head.

  “What?’ He stopped the motion of his fingers.

  “If saving me means risking yourself, you’ll walk away.”

  “Absolutely not.” He took my face in his hands. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “But you are healthy. You have nothing to fear. Why should you walk into danger for me?”
>
  “Because I love you.” His eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I knew he was being honest, but was that enough?

  “But is love worth sacrificing your life?”

  “Yes.” He kissed me hard on the lips. I didn’t respond at first, ready to follow-up with all my arguments for why his life was more important, but he drowned them out by pushing for access to my mouth. I greedily sucked in everything he was willing to give, letting his taste and touch overwhelm my senses until I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. The kiss seemed to suspend time, and it felt as though we’d lost ourselves in each other’s arms. Neither of us pushed for anything else. It wasn’t the time or place, and we didn’t need more. The kiss expressed everything we wanted to share.

  Finally, we broke the kiss and lay in each other’s arms.

  “Did that clear up all of your questions and concerns?” he whispered against my neck.

  “Yes. I don’t want you putting yourself in danger, but nothing I can say is going to change your mind.”

  “I’m a Pteron. I’m strong, and we have each other. I’m not going to get hurt, and neither are you.”

  “You’re too good to be true.”

  “Not any more than you.” He pulled me up on top of him. “You are so much better than all of my dreams and memories. I don’t know if it’s because you’ve gotten even better, or if my imagination and memory are lacking.”

  “I’ll go with the first.”

  “I thought you’d say that.” He wrapped his arms around me.

  “You know I can’t actually sleep this way.”

  “Why not?” He moved underneath me. “Are you trying to say I’m not comfortable to lay on?”

  “Not if I’m trying to keep my thoughts and actions clean.”

  He laughed. “Good point.” He gently rolled me off him to the side.

  I rested my head on his chest. “This is perfect.”

  “I’m never going to be able to sleep alone again.”

  “You barely need to sleep.”

  “Even so.”

  “You’re not the only one.” I draped my arm over his body. “I’ve never felt as safe and comfortable as when I’m with you.”

  “It’s a good thing we’re going to be spending all our nights together then, huh?”