Chaste

by Lydia Michaels

  A hand settled on her shoulder. “I’m afraid I get the next one.”

  Ashlynn’s breath hitched as she turned and found Kelly there. Something hard punched into her stomach, releasing all those butterflies she’d lost the minute he told her goodbye. His presence still disarmed her, melted her into a pile of girlie mush and fanciful longing. Not good.

  His sharp blue eyes drilled into Evan who glanced back at her, an easy smile on his face. “I believe she’s taken.”

  Kelly’s mouth curved, his eyes creasing with challenge. Oh, God. She’d missed those eyes and that sweet, wicked mouth, but nothing had changed, and she was enjoying dancing with Evan. If Kelly danced with her she couldn’t be held responsible for what might happen.

  Others danced around them as the men wordlessly faced off. She should say something, but she was more interested in what Kelly would say next. Taking his eyes off Evan, he casually pivoted and set his intense gaze on her. That fiery blue stare pinned her, left her paralyzed, speechless, and entranced.

  The cheesy lighting glinted off the barbell in his ear as he stepped closer. Her heart stuttered as he traced two fingers over her jaw. “Ash? Dance with me?”

  “Um…” Her breathing turned choppy. Yes, she wanted to dance with him. Everyone else disappeared, but she hesitated, knowing she’d only be torturing herself.

  Evan’s hand tightened infinitesimally around her numb fingers, reminding her of his presence. Her heart sped up and she couldn’t breathe.

  “Hey, Kelly,” a woman purred, draping her long arm over his shoulders and breaking the moment. “Dance with me.”

  Reality slammed into her. It wasn’t a gentle reminder, but more along the lines of a wrecking ball crashing through a sheet of fragile glass. She stepped back and Evan used the distraction to spin her away.

  Her unblinking eyes watched as Kelly reluctantly took the other woman in his arms. A sharp pinch bit down on her heart. Seeing Kelly touch another woman was not a novel experience, yet it hurt a little bit worse every time.

  Evan twirled her across the floor slowly, putting distance between them and the other couple. “Friend of yours?”

  She pulled her gaze away from Kelly and the brunette. “Yes.”

  “More than friends?”

  She met her partner’s gaze and saw only gentle curiosity. The truth hurt. “No.”

  He nodded, accepting her answer. As they turned her gaze kept returning to Kelly. The ache of confusion tightened when she found him looking directly at her. His intense scrutiny cut right through her. The brunette’s mouth moved, but Kelly didn’t appear to be listening. They twirled and when his eyes met hers again he mouthed, “I’m next.”

  She blinked and looked away as nerves flipped wildly in the pit of her belly. The song ended and Evan looked at her expectantly. Kelly was there before he got a chance to ask her for another dance. She knew there was no avoiding dancing with him. A true glutton for punishment, she anticipated the moment he would touch her again.

  “Thanks for the dance, Ashlynn. Maybe we can meet up for the fireworks later.”

  “Thanks for asking me—” She was pulled away before she could finish her sentence.

  Kelly’s hold was nothing like Evan’s. He held her close, possessively, and his face was only an inch from hers as those deep blue eyes drilled into her. He held her as if he had more of a right to hold her than anyone else. The next song was one she recognized right away. It was a classic from back in the day. Hungry Eyes. How appropriate.

  If it was possible, Kelly pulled her closer. His touch was everywhere, bringing every nerve ending to life and sending all sorts of shivers through her body. Their legs were so close there was no way to turn. They simply stood and swayed. “Who’s your friend?” His palm coasted possessively over her hip.

  She licked her lips. “His name’s Evan.”

  “Who is he?”

  “I don’t know, Kelly. He asked me to dance. That’s our history in a nutshell.”

  His gaze bounced between her eyes and her lips. “Are you going to watch the fireworks with him?”

  She was probably going to watch the fireworks from her truck to avoid all the painfully sweet images of couples snuggling up under the blanket of lit up July sky. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. Because I’m pathetic and would rather be lonely than with someone other than you.

  “He seemed interested in you.”

  He was such a contradiction. She frowned at him. “Do you want me to watch the fireworks with him, Kelly?”

  His eyes narrowed and his hand tightened. “What do you think, Ashlynn?”

  “I don’t know what to think.”

  “I think you know exactly what I’m thinking and I’m pretty sure your thoughts are running the same direction.”

  Her lips parted, preparing to spew out a lie, but his mouth dropped onto hers cutting off her words and verifying the truth. Her blood heated as he claimed her mouth. It was a short, but meaningful kiss. Their history together resurrected all in that simple gesture that marked her in front of everyone. When he pulled away they were both breathing fast.

  “Come with me,” he said, pulling her through the crowded dance floor into the night.

  She followed him at a clipped pace, her heart racing beneath her ribs. With their fingers laced together he led her past the lake where couples were already gathering by the shore on blankets for the display. They tore through the lot of cars parked on the gravel and grass and didn’t stop until she saw Kelly’s truck parked haphazardly under a tree.

  Her arm jerked as he tugged her forward. Her back went against the truck and then he was kissing her again, this time hungry, deep kisses, and she loved it. Her arousal screamed like a teakettle slowly heating and finally letting out all that steam. Yes!

  His strong body blanketed hers as his hands dragged over her clothes. Sweet heaven, how had she ever given up his kisses?

  His hand gripped her bottom and she lost a flip-flop as she was lifted off her feet and pressed into the metal of the truck. Her skirt hiked up and Kelly’s body filled the space between her legs.

  “I don’t like seeing another man dancing with you, Ashlynn,” he growled. His mouth worked over her jaw and found an extra sensitive spot.

  Her hands gripped his shoulders and her body came alive as he rotated his hips. Oh, God, not this again. Commonsense told her to make him stop, but she couldn’t form the words—didn’t want to—not when her libido was clearly running the show. She moaned and his fingers grazed up her thigh, crossing the invisible line into forbidden territory.

  He seemed to know it, too. His mouth ripped from hers and he pressed his face into her neck. His breath was hot against her skin as he breathed her in. “Fuck, Ashlynn.” His hand tightened on her leg, squeezing her thigh.

  Her head fell back and he slowly loosened his hold, lowering her feet to the ground. Her skirt was hiked up to her hips. She shoved it down with shaky hands and quickly searched to make sure they were alone. “I lost a shoe.”

  He ducked and found her flip-flop. Even the press of his fingers on her ankle was enough to make her moan. She turned away when he stood again.

  “Ashlynn?”

  Her eyes shut. Nothing had changed. They both knew it. “What, Kelly?”

  “I’m not sorry.”

  She laughed, but her body was too excited to really grasp humor. “Okay.”

  His fingers touched the back of her arm and fell away. “I know this doesn’t change anything, but it also goes to show you nothing’s changed.”

  Her brow tightened and she turned on him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  “I think you’re feeling plenty.”

  Her lips pursed. “So…was this just to prove a point? That I want you? I didn’t need the demonstration, thank you very much. Thanks for interrupting my dance.”

  She pivoted in the direction of her truck and he cursed. “Ash, wait.” He caught her arm
and tugged her to a stop. “I don’t know why I said that.”

  Because it was true. Nothing changed. Time didn’t make her desire for Kelly fade and apparently his desire was still just as potent, so was his need for more. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “I don’t know either.”

  “Do you like torturing us this way? No matter how many times you kiss me like that, we’ll always hit the same dead end.”

  He dropped his arm and looked to the gravel. “I know.”

  And that was all there was to be said. After six weeks they’d ended up right back where they started. “Goodbye, Kelly.”

  His eyes met hers, but he said nothing. There were no proclamations of affection or commitment. He was absolutely correct. Nothing had changed.

  * * * *

  His name was Davis and he was an IT guy for some place Ashlynn had never heard of. She’d decided to throw herself face first into the dating world to erase the memory of Kelly once and for all. Having recently felt his touch and realizing a momentary lapse was all it would ever be, she needed to shed that part of her heart and start fresh.

  The day after the summer celebration she’d plunged into the profiles on the dating site and sorted through the possibilities like a collector of baseball cards. The list of compiled stats read like a who’s who of bachelors in Center County.

  Davis wasn’t the highest scorer on her list, but he was one of the few who replied to her email. He made between twenty and forty thousand a year, not that his income was a huge deal, but he was employed. He was Catholic, from the next town over, only two years older than her, and he wasn’t bad to look at.

  They’d emailed a few times, mostly polite chitchat—Where do you work? What do you like to do in your spare time? How long have you been single? And then he’d asked her to dinner.

  She waited at the table that night and sat up a bit straighter when she thought she’d recognized him. Hmm…he doesn’t look five-ten. She shook the thought away and smiled as he approached her table.

  “Ashlynn?”

  “Davis?”

  He smiled. He hadn’t smiled with teeth in his pictures and she was a little shocked at what she saw, but he still wasn’t ugly. Besides, she wasn’t the superficial sort. It just irritated her when she suspected someone purposely attempted to be misleading. Even she had updated her profile picture to one where she wore her glasses. She was done pretending to be something she wasn’t and not interested in playing games.

  They settled in at the table and a waitress brought them drinks. When Davis didn’t immediately jump into conversation, she was grateful for the menu. The waitress returned only a few minutes later and took their order along with their menus.

  Having her shield removed, Ashlynn smiled awkwardly. “Sooo… What’s happening in the IT world?”

  That was clearly the wrong question to ask. The following hour passed in a language she barely understood. Davis used terms like binary, configuration protocol, and authentication system. Basically, she’d rather have spent the hour getting a cavity filled.

  She smiled weakly at the waitress as she cleared away their plates. Davis never missed a beat. “…I just don’t understand how people get confused about malware. I mean, come on.”

  Ashlynn sucked melted ice through the straw of her soda, making that annoying slurp sound once she hit the bottom. “It is a mystery.” Dear lord, she couldn’t take any more. “So, you’re Catholic?”

  “Born and raised.”

  “Is faith something you plan on raising your kids with?”

  “Yes. I think it did me and my sister well to have a strong religious foundation.”

  Perhaps it was the length at which he’d discussed computers that had the ghosting affect of a lobotomy. Or perhaps it was that he’d lied about his height. Or maybe it was because he’d commented on the waitress’s tattoos, calling them tacky and tasteless. She wasn’t sure what made her suddenly sabotage her own date, but it happened.

  Not paying attention to what he was talking about, she decided to commit dating suicide then and there. “…It really wasn’t a great start to the week, you know? But sometimes there’s no helping—”

  “I’m a virgin.”

  That shut him up. His eyes rounded behind his Peter Parker glasses. “Pardon?”

  “I’m a virgin. I just thought I’d put that out there.”

  His eyes darted left then right. “Okay…”

  “It’s by choice,” she added. “I’m saving myself for marriage. I don’t do anything. Nothing. I just thought you should know.”

  His expression was blank once the shock from her outburst wore off. Dear Lord, was that silence? She’d expected him to ask for the check and never call. What she didn’t expect was the weight of his fingers on hers and the sense she’d just made things worse.

  He smiled. “I’m a virgin too.” Oh no. “I didn’t think there were many of us left.” His left hand tapped the ring on his right hand, showing her what she assumed was a promise ring of his own.

  Her eyes shut. “Fuck.” Never one to curse, but… This has to be some cruel joke!

  He frowned. “Excuse me?”

  She cleared her throat and smiled tightly when all she wanted to do was escape this date from hell. “I said, what luck.”

  He smiled back at her, confidence showing behind the lenses of his glasses.

  Things could have been so easy had he been someone else. But after an evening of computer talk, judging the waitress, and misleading Ashlynn from the start, she just wanted it over. As she nibbled her dessert, she contemplated things that needed to get done around her house. Davis chatted.

  She’d zoned in and out of the conversation, nodding when it felt appropriate. However, after twenty minutes something shifted. His words caught her attention and she listened, emphatically agreeing with him and laughing about a similar experience she’d had. It turned out, their virginity was the common ground they had been missing.

  Davis ordered two coffees and they spent the next hour talking about what it was like to be the last virgins standing. It was odd, but she felt a sort of camaraderie for the man who dealt with as many social massacres as she had in her personal life. They were suddenly two peas of the same pod trying to honor their beliefs in the face of temptation.

  Stranger still, when Davis walked her to her truck he didn’t try to cram his tongue in her mouth and only shook her hand. She was so surprised by this she found herself agreeing to see him again that following night. She’d even agreed to let him pick her up at her place.

  When she got home she was disoriented. Davis from the first half of her date was dreadful. But the Davis she’d said goodnight to wasn’t that bad. Perhaps this was what she needed, someone working with the same amount of experience she had under her belt.

  She was lying to herself, of course, because that was what she did, but she was determined to give dating a try. If tomorrow night didn’t go well, she’d go back to the drawing board.

  Chapter Eight

  She should have listened to her instincts.

  Davis cancelled dinner and changed their plans. They were going for drinks. Ashlynn didn’t drink, but she still enjoyed the bar setting. Unfortunately, Davis emailed her that morning stating he would be away from his computer the entire day and unable to be reached. He simply stated he’d meet her at O’Malley’s at eight.

  Great.

  She emailed him back saying that wasn’t going to work, but as he’d indicated, he was out of reach for the day. When seven-thirty rolled around and there was still no reply in her Inbox, she reluctantly put on her khaki skirt and a plain white T and headed into town.

  Kelly would be there. It was Saturday night after all. Still, she held a small pity party in her truck as she waited for Davis. Her stomach rolled with nervousness. She didn’t want to see Kelly. She also didn’t want Kelly to see Davis, which made her feel like a terrible person.

  There was a tap on her window and she pasted on a
smile as Davis waved to her. Waving? Really? Sighing and keeping her mouth curved in what she hoped was a pleasant expression, she climbed out of the truck.

  “How was your day?”

  See? He’s nice. Stop rejecting anyone who isn’t Kelly. “Fine. How was yours?”

  And then it started—more computer talk. He earned points for holding the door, but he might as well have been speaking another language. The pub was packed. They had to wait by the bar for a table and unfortunately, Davis led them away from Sue’s side of the pub and right into Kelly’s lair.

  Kelly approached and his smile faltered as Davis rested his arm over her shoulder. “Ashlynn.”

  She was going to vomit. Attempting to play it cool, she contorted her smile into something convincing that didn’t seem too eager. No matter what, the sight of him always did unsettling things to her. “Hi.”

  Davis stepped up to the bar. “I’ll have a daiquiri and my date here will have a Coke.”

  Kelly raised a dark brow slowly and she gave him a pleading look. Thankfully he didn’t comment on her company. “That’s one daiquiri and one diet cola coming up.”

  He knew her drink and that did things to her too. Unfortunately, he also knew her date was drinking a daiquiri.

  Two stools opened up and they settled in. Kelly placed her soda on a napkin then returned a moment later with a totally feminine glass complete with paper parasol and cubed pineapple dangling from the rim. “Your daiquiri, sir.”

  She scowled at him, but he only made a face that said, Really? This guy? Davis didn’t see Kelly’s expression because he was too busy moaning over his fruity cocktail.

  Thankfully, the crowd made it impossible for Kelly to hover over them. The hour passed and he’d barely had time to replenish their orders due to the bevy of bar flies vying for his attention. It hurt and she tried not to look his way. A while later, she excused herself and slipped into the back to visit the ladies room.

  When she left the bathroom Kelly cornered her in the hall. “Are you kidding with this guy, Ash?”