A BROKEN GIRL'S JOURNEY

by Niki Jilvontae

  Lakea closed her eyes like she used to do as a child and silently cried. Every few minutes while fucking her face, Klemmings would slice her across her back with his black whip. It cut through Lakea's shirt and flesh like a warm knife going through butter. She could feel the fresh blood run down her back. Lakea let a small moan of pain escape her lips and Klemmings began to pump harder and faster, exploding on her face.

  “Now, bitch I don't have to tell you that this is between us, do I?” Klemmings asked zipping up his pants and grabbing Lakea by the chin.

  “No sir.” Lakea whispered with pain in her eyes and hate in her heart.

  “Now, for that favor you just gave me I took three days off of your time in the hole. Now you only have four days left. Keep being nice to me and we will get along. If not, your ass will find out what hell is really like.” He said in a sinister voice laughing. Then he left her alone in the dark to sob.

  Lakea couldn't believe the life she now had. She wondered why her life had to be so hard. That night a piece of Lakea died just like it did when she was eight. Now she had been broken down by another man, stripped of her pride, and abused. Lakea began to see things so much differently and she knew that she would never be the same again.

  After that night, Lakea's days got progressively worse. Even though her and Nika didn't have to worry about any of the other girls when they came back from the hole. They did have to worry about Klemmings and his crew. The main ones were Klemmings and his four flunkies who were also guards, and one male nurse from the infirmary.

  Klemmings and his crew would beat and rape all of the girls regularly, having their picks and choices of them all. There were rumors that a couple of girls even got pregnant by some of the guards and the nurse helped to get rid of the babies. Of course this information could not be verified because no one saw the girls again. Klemmings would lie and say they were transferred whenever they suddenly came up missing. Over the course of the next year Lakea endured abuse that people could never imagine. Physical and mental abuse that left scars all over her, inside and out. She was truly beginning to hate all men. She really wanted to kill every man who ever hurt her.

  After Lakea was there for a year Klemmings got transferred to a maximum security male prison and was killed six months later after being gang raped by fifteen prisoners in the shower. How ironic. Once Klemmings was gone, most of his crew calmed down, so the girls didn't have to worry as much about being raped anymore, but the physical abuse continued.

  Over the next two years Lakea got her high school diploma and an associate's degree in business. Lakea only got those things because she knew that they would look good to the judge. The knowledge that Lakea valued most she gained while on the inside was about life and how it had turned her into who she was now. She had learned the art of seduction, persuasion, and manipulation from all of the girls she came in contact with.

  When Lakea left Wolverine Juvenile facility five months after her 18th birthday, she had malice in her heart and intentions to be an even greater menace than before. She was definitely not still the 15 year old girl she went in as. She was now an even bigger threat. Lakea was a beautiful, intelligent, dangerous, and cold-hearted woman with a score to settle.

  It was a hot May day when Lakea walked out of the gates of Wolverine free. She had changed in so many ways that her aunt Violet and cousin Yolanda barely recognized her. Lakea had grown to about 5'3 ½, which a noticeable difference was being how short she was before. Lakea still had a nice body with beautiful cocoa skin, but her ass had gotten much bigger and her breast were now 44DD's. She had rock hard abs, a six-pac to be exact from working out each day. Lakea’s hair was much longer too, at least 20 inches and it was as dark and shiny as ever. Lakea's eyes were very different. That is what her aunt and cousin noticed first. Her slanted hazel eyes were so deep and piercing now, you could see the pain. A deep pain that no one would ever be able to understand.

  “Baby.”Aunt Violet said as she pulled Lakea closer hugging her. Lakea hugged her aunt back as she cried on her shoulder.

  “Don't cry, Aunt Violet. I'm okay.” Lakea reassured her.

  “I hope so. Well, let's get the fuck away from this place!” Violet said as Yolanda hugged Lakea.

  Lakea turned as she started to get into the car and looked back so that she could get one last look at the place that took so much from her. The place that was supposed to rehabilitate and reform her, but instead it had turned her into more of a troubled person than she was before. After spending a night in Saginaw with her family, Lakea and her aunt Violet left on their 15 hour drive to Memphis. A place Lakea hadn't seen in three years. It was a long ride so Lakea and her aunt stopped at a hotel half way to Memphis and spent the night.

  “Well, baby I guess you will stay with me for a while, until you get on your feet.” Aunt Violet said as they lay in the bed watching TV. “I don't know what is wrong with your mama again, but I am sure that you won't be able to live with her. Hell, Quan been with us about a year now.”

  Lakea shook her head in disgust. Her mama hadn't changed at all, if anything she was worse. Lakea's anger towards her mama kept growing. Lakea just couldn't understand how someone could be so selfish.

  “That's cool auntie, but where Ray-Ray live at?”

  “Oh he got an apartment with his baby mama in Midtown on Peabody. He waiting on you to come home too.” Aunt Violet said. Lakea smiled. She really missed her brothers, her family, and her city, she even missed her mother deep down, but she hated her for being so selfish.

  That night, Lakea felt like a kid again lying in bed with her aunt laughing, talking, and watching TV. Violet was always Lakea's favorite aunt and they always shared a special bond. Violet used to save them all of the time from Felicia's rage when she was around or could get there fast enough. She would buy them gifts and Christmas and birthdays gifts and when Felicia shipped them away her house was always everyone's first choice. She was sweet, gentle, and kind. Everything Felicia wasn't anymore. Violet rubbed Lakea's head like she used to do when she was a child and soon Lakea was asleep. Then Violet sat up and watched her niece toss and turn, and cry out in fear as she drifted from one nightmare to the next. Violet knew that her niece had been through some terrible things and not just lately but her whole life. Violet also knew that pressure bursts pipes, therefore Lakea was about to pop really soon.

  That night Violet prayed for her niece while she slept. She also prayed for her sister. She prayed that God would work on her sister and get her to see just what she did to her children. Violet could never understand Felicia. She was selfish as a child, but Violet never thought that she could be so callus to her own children.

  The next morning Lakea was up at about 5am like every other morning inside of Wolverine. She sat in the window looking out at the parking lot, the interstate, and the endless fields all around. Wondering what her future would be like.

  ‘Will I always be a broken girl?’ Lakea thought. ‘Or will I someday find all of the pieces and be able to put them all together again?’

  After having breakfast at a coffee shop, Lakea and her Auntie headed to Memphis. It was a little after 2 pm as Violet's Avalanche merged to get off on the Hollywood exit of I-240. Lakea was home. After three years she was finally home. Although she was once again going to have to adapt to a whole new hood, at least she was back in her city. A place that had been really good and extremely bad to her. A tear escaped from Lakea's eye as they drove up Hollywood and passed the Ridgecrest Apartments. Lakea was happy to be back but she knew that the game had changed. Staying with her auntie would be no walk in the park with her asshole husband, so Lakea knew that she was going to have to pull her weight by getting a job or a hustle.

  Even though her Auntie would take care of her forever, and she very well knew she had the means to do it because of her job as an Aircraft Computer Specialist with the Airport, Lakea didn't want that. Aunt Violet was already taking care of three extra adults and one minor child, plus her three grand kid
s, and Quan for the past year. Lakea did not want to be an extra burden. She knew that it was time to get it how she lived. She was about to use some of the skills she had learned in jail to get the things she needed and wanted. She was about to mislead, use, and abuse men like they had done her for so many years. This broken girl was on a mission to break some niggas. LITERALLY!

  Chapter 9

  As her aunt's truck pulled into the driveway of her six-bedroom home she owned on Debby Street, Lakea looked around at her new neighborhood. It was a whole new world, once again like when she moved with her grandma. Aunt Violet lived in a middle class neighborhood however, it was now beginning to become infested with gangs and violence.

  “Come on sugar.” Aunt Violet said leading Lakea into the house. As soon as

  Lakea stepped into the kitchen, everyone jumped out and screamed, “SURPRISE” at one time. It was a coming home party for Lakea, which really took her totally by surprise. Lakea couldn’t remember the last time she had a party. She had missed the past three birthdays in jail, but she was happy to see the people she loved had showed up to welcome her home. Her brothers Quan and Ray-Ray were there (along with Ray-Ray's baby mama, her aunt, Uncle Mitchell, friends; including Nia, and her cousins, aunt Violet's kids; Anthony, Mitchell Jr. or M.J., Anterrius, and Mesha.

  “Damn, big sis you look good.” Quan said hugging her sister tight. “I really missed you and I love you so much. Please don't leave me again.” He whispered in Lakea's ear as they embraced. When Lakea let him go she noticed a tear running down his face.

  “I love and missed you too, lil bruh. And believe me when I say God willing, I will never leave you again.” Lakea looked deep into his eyes. She knew that some bad shit had went down between Quan and their mama. She could see the hurt in his eyes. “Where mama at?” Lakea asked Quan as Ray-Ray and his girlfriend approached. Ray-Ray grabbed Lakea from behind like in a headlock then he hugged her and started kissing all over her face like he used to do when they were kids.

  “Maine, my lil sis fine as hell and a convict to boot. What's up criminal?” He said laughing now hugging Lakea from the front. A tear rolled down her cheek. She was really feeling happy because she missed that time with her brothers.

  “Where mama at Ray-Ray. She just asked Quan and she didn't think he wanted to answer.”

  “Maine, fuck mama for real. She don't care about us so fuck her. She let that young nigga she fuck with beat the shit out of Quan when I was locked up, then she put him out and moved before I got out. Hell, don't nobody even know where she live. She gone maine, it’s just us.” Ray-Ray said hugging his little brother and sister, putting their heads together like her used to do when they were children. “Big brother got y'all if you ever need me. Shid, KeKe if shit don't work out here with Aunt Violet, know you can live with me and Bunny in Greenbriar. Ain’t that right bae?” Ray-Ray said looking at his baby mama.

  Lakea spoke to the girl who in turn rolled her eyes and waved her hand. Lakea held her peace, she could already tell she didn't like the girl. Bunny continued to text on her Cricket phone and roll her eyes at everyone that passed by.

  “Naw, big bruh, I think I'm straight right here.” Lakea said staring into Bunny's eyes so intensely she quickly looked away.

  Lakea had learned locked up that was the best way to spot a weak person. Poor eye contact. Lakea knew this bitch was weak. All bark, no bite. She was beyond ratchet too, a straight hoodbooga with her blue and blonde 30 inch synthetic weave, lime green fingernails, and pull out gold grill. She was a mess. At 5'4, 245lbs with clothes on that were at least three sizes to small, she was doing the most. Her face was alright and she had some beautifully smooth dark chocolate skin, but her attitude was the worse, and to top it off she was dumb as hell.

  “Uh, I Guess, but know I ain’t running no half way house and we ain’t the damn Brady Bunch.” She said rolling her eyes. Ray-Ray knew instantly he had to check her or his sister would and it would not be pretty, so they started arguing very loudly. They got so loud aunt Violet had to ask both of them to step outside.

  “Wasup with that bitch?” Lakea asked her cousin Mesha as she sat on the couch beside her.

  “That bitch crazy big cuzz.” Mesha said. I told Ray-Ray to leave that hoe alone. She already cut him, tried to run him over twice, and always threatening to put her brothers on him.”

  “What???” Lakea asked looking at Mesha. She couldn't believe her brother was going through those types of problems with anyone after all they had been through with their mama, Jeff, and all of her other dudes. She never expected he would put up with that kind of bullshit. “Yeah, Ima have to talk to his ass.” Lakea thought out loud as she watched her brother and Bunny continue to argue in the yard.

  The rest of the party was nice. Aunt Violet and Uncle Mitchell left the house for the night so that the kids could have fun. They were gone most nights anyway. Lakea spent a lot of time with her best friend Nia during the party. So much had changed over the past three years, and although they both still loved each other and would always be close; they quickly realized that they were on two different paths in life. Nia had graduated from high school a year early so she was already a sophomore at the University of Memphis. Lakea loved seeing her sister, her best friend, her comforter. She was so mature and successful.

  “Why don't you go back to school and stuff? I have an apartment on campus you could always live with me.” Nia pleaded with Lakea to get back to her smart ways and leave the streets alone, but she couldn’t understand what had happened to Lakea inside. If she was going to change it would be when she was ready and under her on terms. Now, she simply wasn't ready.

  After Nia and the rest of the party-goers left Lakea, MJ, Mesha, and Anterrius went to sit on the front porch and smoke a few blunts. Lakea inhaled the night air deeply. She hadn't did that in a long time.

  “Y'all just don't know, freedom is something you should always cherish.” Lakea said with a faraway look in her eyes. Her cousins and brother just didn't know that she was hundreds of miles away, trapped behind the walls of Wolverine again. She could still hear her won cries at night.

  “Maine Uncle Mitchell be tripping.” Quan suddenly said breaking Lakea's flashback. “That maine told me don't use his soap this morning.”

  “Yeah daddy can be petty as hell.” Mesha said sucking her teeth. Petty had to be Mitchel’s middle name because no matter what he was always bitching about something.

  “Well, I gotta find me a job or hustle or something because I don't want to live off nobody and I ain’t finna hear that bullshit.” Lakea said. She wanted to stand on her own, besides it was time to start fucking over some niggas, taking they money and breaking they hearts.

  “I got a lick.” Mesha said winking at Lakea. “I will tell you later, when we're alone.” Mesha said pushing both MJ and Quan upside the head. Lakea wondered what she had going but she knew whatever it was it would be good because her lil cousin was good at getting money.

  They sat there and smoked about eight blunts as Lakea let her mind wonder back and forth throughout her life. She remembered all the physical and verbal abuse from her mama, and the sexual abuse she had to endure both at home as a child and in Wolverine. Wolverine had really hurt her deeply, she didn't know if she could really trust any man other than her brothers, and Jeremy of course. All she wanted was to be loved, especially by her mama, but she felt that would never be so she was like fuck love. Love don't love me, I don't give a fuck about it either.

  Later that night when Lakea had taken her bath and was about to get in bed Mesha came into the room smiling while eating a cup of sliced pickles. Mesha was 17, aunt Violet's youngest child and only daughter. She was also Lakea's favorite cousin of all time. They were more like sisters being that they both only had brothers. That means they spent a lot of time together.

  “How you doing June?” Mesha asked whispering while giggling as she closed the door behind her. That was one of their many names they had for each other. Lakea misse
d being silly with Mesha and having someone who truly understood her.

  “Wasup June?” Lakea said sitting up in the bed.

  “Bitch let me tell you. I been getting money out here. Okay you know how I was with that lil dance group in the old neighborhood?” Mesha asked. Lakea shook her head yes. “Well I was messing with the director, a nigga named Renzo and his brother Sam run a strip club, So bitch your money problems are over!” Mesha said snapping her fingers in Lakea's face. Lakea looked at Mesha and rolled her eyes.

  “Uh huh bitch, quit lying cause yo ass ain’t stripping nowhere.” Lakea said sarcastically.

  “Not yet bitch but in November when I turn 18 it’s on!” Mesha said getting up off of the bed and twerking in front of Lakea.

  Mesha had a cute shape, perfect for stripping. She was about 5' 1” even and weighed about 110lbs. She had no waist, a ghetto butt, and nice titties. Those are characteristics that ran through their family. All of the Johnson women young and old had big breasts and asses. Mesha was also very pretty in the face with smooth almond colored skin and big innocent brown eyes. Mesha dropped her body down in a squat position, and began to make her booty cheeks bounce up and down, one at a time. She kept swinging her long, red Brazilian weave from side-to-side as she twerked her big ass and snapped her fingers.

  “Okay then bitch. Ima wait til November when you ready, but in the meantime we need some funds.” Find us a sponsor or something.” Lakea joked while laughing at her cousin's dancing.

  “I got that too!” Mesha said sitting back on the bed with Lakea and picking back up her cup of pickles to continue munching. “So legally I can't dance in the club, but I been doing private parties for the past year with my white home girl Candius. We been breaking them niggas too. I don't fuck with nothing but, white boys with money. Hell, I made $600 last Friday and didn't have to kiss, fuck, or suck nobody.” Mesha smiled, feeling herself.