A Real Cowboy

by Carla Cassidy

  They were quite civilized as they ate their salads. It was only when their plates were filled with spaghetti that civilization went right out the window and the contest began.

  Lucas picked up a long piece of pasta and with a quick inhale, it was gone. “Beat that,” he said to Sammy with a grin.

  Sammy’s attack on the pasta was less delicate and by the time he’d tried to get a piece longer than Lucas’s, his mouth was smeared with sauce and Nicolette thought she even saw a bit of it in his hair.

  “Your turn, Mom,” Sammy said.

  Nicolette shook her head. “I’ll admit defeat.”

  “Chicken,” Lucas replied, his eyes glittering with suppressed laughter.

  “I’m no chicken,” she protested. “I just know when I’ve been bested. I guess I’ll be polishing up two pairs of boots and hosing you both down after dinner.”

  “I’ll show you how to polish them after we clear off the table,” Lucas replied with the twinkle in his eyes that she could ride to the moon.

  As they worked together to clean up the kitchen, her heart swelled with a happiness she knew she shouldn’t feel, but this was all she’d ever really wanted...a complete family.

  She’d hoped that Samuel would be a man to walk beside her, to laugh and have fun with their son and take pleasure in simple things like a starlit night or a spaghetti-eating contest. Samuel had fooled her for a while, made her believe that he would grow into that kind of man.

  Lucas was that man, but he would never belong to her. He belonged to his scars, to his past and this land and maybe to the dead woman who had saved his soul.

  “I’m going to play some video games,” Sammy said after the kitchen had been cleaned up. He kicked off his boots and set them on the kitchen floor.

  “Ah, just another rat jumping off a sinking ship,” Nicolette said, her words making Sammy laugh as he ran out of the kitchen to get his game player.

  “Are you running out on me, too?” she asked Lucas.

  “No way.” He sat at the table and pulled off first one boot and then the other. “I don’t trust these babies to just anyone. I definitely have to supervise this process.”

  He got up and padded to the cabinet beneath the sink. “I think Cass used to keep her boot polish under here.” He rummaged around and then with a grunt of satisfaction straightened with a can of polish and a couple of soft cloths.

  He pulled his chair close against hers and showed her how to apply the polish and then shine the leather. His shoulder was against hers, warming her from the point of contact straight through to her heart.

  His big hands worked the cloth meticulously and the memory of how he’d touched her, how he’d made her feel so precious, so treasured, swelled in her chest.

  “I want you again.” The words shocked her as they whispered from her own lips.

  His head shot up and he looked at her in surprise and then with a raw hunger that blasted a shiver of sweet, fiery anticipation up her spine. “I want you again, too.” His gaze remained locked with hers, stealing her breath away as neither of them moved.

  He broke the gaze, looking back down at the boot he held in his hand. “But, we both know that going there again would be a big mistake. I can’t give you what you need, Nicolette. I can’t be the man that you want.”

  He glanced up at her again and the desire, the passion that had burned in his eyes only moments before, was gone, replaced by a dull darkness that gave nothing away. “It’s best if we just keep things the way they are between us and don’t go there again.”

  Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment. “Of course you’re right. I just...the stress...” She allowed her voice to trail off.

  “If you want to polish your boots, then the next time we go to town we’ll need to buy some red polish,” he said, looking down once again.

  “Maybe I’ll plan a trip into town later this week,” she replied. It was a slightly awkward transition from desire to boot polish, but she was grateful to move on before she made a total fool of herself.

  She was grateful when the boot polishing was finished and even more grateful when Lucas engaged Sammy in one of his games and she sank down on the sofa and withdrew into her thoughts.

  She was almost glad Lucas had the sense to stop anything more between them before it could begin. She couldn’t even believe she’d spoken of her desire for him out loud. It was as if she had momentarily lost her mind, lost herself in him.

  He wanted her, too. At least that knowledge made her feel less foolish. He obviously felt the same kind of magnetic draw to her as she did to him. Still, there was no way that another bout of lovemaking would solve all the issues that faced her. He was right in that getting more intimate with each other would only make things worse.

  She watched her son with Lucas and found herself thinking about the two kidnapping attempts on him. She realized there was one other person she should call to see if he had any idea about what was happening and why.

  “If you two will excuse me for a few minutes, I’m going up to my bedroom to make a few phone calls,” she said.

  Lucas looked at her curiously, but Sammy merely waved his hand, his attention focused on the game they were playing.

  She went upstairs and entered her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She grabbed her cell phone from her purse and held it in her hand.

  During her years of marriage to Samuel, she’d always had a good relationship with his father, Joseph. Joseph Kendall was a hardworking multimillionaire who had encouraged Nicolette to leave his son long before she’d actually made the final move.

  Joseph had been disgusted by his son’s lack of drive, the absence of any ambition and his party lifestyle. Joseph had often said that the worst thing that had ever happened to Samuel was being the beneficiary of his mother’s trust fund.

  Was it possible Joseph held any answers? She’d thought of the old man often in the years since she’d left Samuel, but they’d agreed at the time of the divorce that it was best for her and Sammy to make a clean break from the Kendall family.

  Before she could change her mind, she punched in the number for Joseph’s residence, vaguely surprised that she’d retained it in her head after all this time.

  The phone rang twice and then a female voice answered. “Kendall residence.”

  Nicolette recognized the female voice. Maddie Winston had been the housekeeper for Joseph for years. “Maddie, it’s Nicolette. May I speak to Joseph?”

  “Oh, Mrs. Nicolette, you can’t.”

  “Is he not home right now?”

  “He passed away, Mrs. Nicolette. Mr. Joseph died two weeks ago.” A sob filled the line. “It was his heart. It just gave out and he left us.”

  Nicolette clutched the phone tighter against her chest, grief piercing her as she thought of the man who had helped her through some of the tougher times of her marriage. “I’m so sorry, Maddie. He was such a good man,” she finally managed to say.

  “Mr. Joseph’s lawyer has been trying to reach you,” Maddie said. “He’s left messages both at the store and at your home phone number.”

  “I’ve been out of the state,” Nicolette replied, wondering why on earth Joseph’s lawyer would need to speak with her. Was it possible Joseph might have left a little money to Sammy in his will?

  “The lawyer’s name is Vincent Veringo. Wait just a minute and I have his card here.”

  While Nicolette waited for Maddie, she quickly grabbed a small pad and a pen from her purse. Maddie returned to the phone and gave Nicolette the number to Veringo Law Offices.

  When the two women hung up, Nicolette stared at the phone number. With the time difference it was too late to call tonight, and she knew more than anyone that the odds of anyone working late on a Saturday night were doubtful. Whatever Vincent Veringo wanted to discuss with her would have to wait until Monday morning.

  She tucked the notebook and pen back in her purse and then headed back downstairs. Lucas and Sammy still sat on the sofa, but she motioned
for Lucas to follow her into the kitchen.

  She led him toward the back door, wanting to make sure Sammy didn’t hear their conversation. “I decided to call my ex-father-in-law, Joseph,” she said in a hushed tone. “I thought maybe he’d know something about what’s going on.”

  “And did he?” Lucas took a step closer to her.

  “He died two weeks ago.” She swallowed hard.

  “I’m sorry, Nicolette. Were the two of you close?”

  “He was very supportive of me when I finally decided to leave his son. We both shared the same disappointments in Samuel. Anyway, Joseph’s housekeeper gave me the number of Joseph’s lawyer, who apparently has been trying to reach me. Unfortunately, I’m sure I won’t be able to get hold of him until Monday morning.”

  “What do you think he wants?”

  Nicolette frowned thoughtfully. “I think maybe he left some money or something for Sammy. Sammy is his only grandchild.”

  She looked up at Lucas and her stomach felt more than just a little bit ill. “I think the real question to ask is why didn’t Samuel tell me about his father’s death when I spoke to him?”

  “So you think all of this has something to do with your father-in-law’s death?”

  “I can’t imagine how, but yes.” She wrapped her arms around herself as a cold wind blew through her. Although it seemed impossible that an old man’s death had somehow put into motion some kind of danger to her son.

  Chapter 13

  Nicolette was quiet and distant as Sunday slowly crept by. Twice Lucas saw her with the lawyer’s number in hand and she’d tried to call it only to hang up without getting an answer.

  It was obvious that she wouldn’t have a hope of getting in touch with the lawyer until the next day when the law offices or whatever would be open for business.

  Sammy seemed to have taken a note from his mother’s mood. He spent most of the morning quietly playing his video games in the great room and then after a quiet lunch he got out a baggie of little cars and played with them on the floor.

  Right after lunch Cassie had gone with Adam for another tour of the place to check out all the damaged trees that had been cleared and the patching work that had been accomplished on some of the outbuildings.

  It was now just after two and Lucas sat on the sofa watching Sammy while Nicolette walked the length of the room back and forth.

  The first thing she’d wanted to do that morning was call Samuel and confront him about why he hadn’t said anything about his father’s death, but Lucas had talked her out of it. If Samuel was involved in any way in the threat to Sammy, then Lucas didn’t want Nicolette giving him a heads-up.

  The plan at the moment was for them to do nothing until she spoke to Joseph’s lawyer. Depending on what she learned with that phone call, Lucas hoped they would have a better idea as to what was going on.

  He definitely didn’t want Nicolette to do anything that would place herself in a dangerous position. When they had some kind of information, they’d take it to Dillon and let him work it. The only goal he and Nicolette had was to continue to ensure Sammy’s safety.

  “Why don’t we all plan on eating tonight down at the bunkhouse?” Lucas suggested, breaking the silence that had been the rule for most of the day.

  “Yeah!” Sammy said. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

  “Surely the men wouldn’t be comfortable if Cassie and I came to dinner,” Nicolette replied.

  “Cass used to pop in for dinner on a regular basis. The men won’t mind if you two show up. Besides, we need a break from this house. We’ve all been cooped up in here for too long.”

  She stared at him and he could almost see her brain churning with all kinds of thoughts. “I’ll make sure two of the men escort us there and back here,” he said, guessing that one of her concerns might be safety issues.

  It was a long walk to the bunkhouse and she was probably wondering if another horseman would ride up out of nowhere to try to steal her son away.

  “Come on, Mom. Let’s go,” Sammy said.

  “It would be nice to take a break and get out of here for a little while,” she finally agreed.

  A swift relief flooded through Lucas. He needed some time and distance from Nicolette and Sammy. At least in the bunkhouse dining room there would be plenty of others around who would provide some relief from his nearness to Nicolette.

  “Then it’s settled,” he said. “We’ll eat at the bunkhouse tonight and maybe after dinner we can talk Mac into playing some tunes on his guitar. That man makes great music.”

  The darkness in Nicolette’s eyes that had lingered all day lightened just a bit. “That sounds like fun.” Her eyes once again darkened. “I think I’ll make some coffee.”

  She disappeared into the kitchen and Lucas wished he could steal that darkness out of her eyes forever. But he knew that wouldn’t happen until she knew what and who had put her son in danger.

  No matter how he worked it in his mind, he couldn’t figure out why Samuel might want to kidnap his own son. Even if Joseph had left a little money to Sammy, Nicolette had full custody of the boy and there had been nothing to indicate that Samuel wanted to change that fact.

  Besides, he was tired of thinking about the whole mess, tired of trying to solve a mystery puzzle without all the pieces in hand.

  He was also tired of the visions that haunted him, not just during odd hours of the days, but also his sleep. They were visions of Sammy and Nicolette being his family, of the three of them sharing a life together that others would envy.

  Last night had been the worst. He’d dreamed of him and Sammy riding horses side by side, of snuggling beneath a layer of blankets next to Nicolette as a cold wintry wind blew outside. There had been no nightmares of abandonment and loneliness; his dreams had held only love and a contentment he’d never experienced in real life.

  Heck, the odds of them even being here in the winter were slim to none. Still, he’d awakened with a yearning he’d never felt before, with a desire to make his dreams a reality.

  It had scared the hell out of him.

  When the scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, Lucas went into the kitchen and found Nicolette seated at the table and staring out the window, her fingers wrapped around a cup.

  Lucas poured himself a cup of coffee and then joined her at the table. He mentally asked himself why when he craved distance from her and then consciously put himself in a position to be close to her.

  “You’ve been distant all day,” he observed.

  She didn’t argue with him but instead nodded as she turned to look at him. “I’ve been trapped in my own head all day. I keep trying to find a way to make Samuel guilty, but I don’t know if it’s because he really might be or if I just want a final answer.”

  “Even if Joseph left Sammy some inheritance, you’d be the custodial representative until he comes of age, wouldn’t you?”

  “I would assume so.”

  “So how could Samuel kidnapping Sammy change that?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted and took a drink of her coffee. The line of worry appeared on her forehead, a faint line that he wanted to rub away with his thumb.

  “Even though Joseph didn’t approve of Samuel’s lifestyle, I can’t believe that Samuel would be named as a huge beneficiary. Whatever little money that has been left to Sammy wouldn’t be worth Samuel’s time. And like you said, that doesn’t answer the question of what Samuel would have to gain by kidnapping his son.”

  “Tonight when we go to eat at the bunkhouse dining room I want you to put all of this out of your head. There’s nothing that can be done until we have more information. No amount of stirring it all around in your head is going to give you an answer. You need to do that for me, but more you need to do it for Sammy.”

  She looked stricken, as if just realizing that Sammy’s quiet mood of the morning might be a reflection of her own. “The last thing I want is for him to worry or be afraid. He’s managed to put the
horseback ride with Jeff behind him. I want him to stay worry-free.”

  “That means he needs his mother to be herself, not withdrawn and tense,” Lucas replied.

  She surprised him by reaching across the table and grabbing his hand in hers. “Thank you for always having Sammy’s best interest at heart and for kicking my butt to remind me that he takes his cues from me.”

  She tightened her fingers with his and he hated the contact because it only made him want more. “You love him, don’t you?”

  “I know he loves me,” Lucas replied. “He told me so the night I took him to eat pizza at the bunkhouse. He told me that he loved me and that he wished I could be his dad.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “I wish you could be his dad. You would make a wonderful father.”

  He pulled his hand from hers and turned to stare at the window, unable to stand the yearning in her eyes. “Since I didn’t have a father in my life, I wouldn’t know the first thing about it.” He spoke around a lump that had formed in the back of his throat.

  “But that’s not true,” she protested. “You’ve already proved in a hundred different ways that you’re wonderful father material. You care about Sammy. You want only the best for him. His thoughts and feelings are important to you, and I think if you looked deep inside your heart, you’d realize that you love him.”

  He looked back at her as he felt the defensive walls building inside his chest. “Don’t mistake my protectiveness for a young boy in danger as love. I don’t have the capacity to love anymore, Nicolette. I’ve told you, I care about your and Sammy’s welfare, but never mistake it for love.”

  He got up from the table, leaving his coffee, and left the room, unable to stand being near her a minute longer.

  He hated the mother who had abandoned him, and he hated Cass for dying on him, but more than anything he hated himself for the sadness he’d seen in Nicolette’s eyes just before he’d left her sitting alone at the table.